The arrival of Colonel Ogilvie’s letter, sent on to him from London, made in a way a new trouble for him; for whilst he was delighted to get so friendly an overture7 it was he saw but another difficulty ahead of him. He must either reply in his false name, which was now hateful to him; or he must leave the letter, for the present, unanswered. This latter alternative would be dangerous with a man so sensitive and so punctilious8; but, all told, it was the lesser9 evil. He had had opportunity to make up his mind on the subject before the letter came, for Aunt Judy had said in her last letter that Colonel Ogilvie had spoken about writing to him before they should arrive in London. Still it was a sore trial to him to be so discourteous10, with the added chagrin11 that it might—probably would—stand in his way with the one man in the world whom he wished to propitiate12.
As he did not know anything about the history of Colonel Ogilvie’s family he went to the peerage books and made lists of the bearers of that name in its different spellings; and then as he decided13 to go to many of the places named, he made runs into Perthshire and Forfar. He came to the conclusion that he must have misunderstood Colonel Ogilvie in alluding14 to the “Border Counties.” He laid up, however, a good deal of local information which might be pleasing to his prospective15 father-in-law.
One morning he had a letter which quite fluttered him. It was from Aunt Judy telling him that Colonel Ogilvie had announced his intention of starting on the then coming Thursday for the north, and that he had given as the direction of his letters till further notice the “Inn of Greeting,” Ambleside. The unqualified pleasure which he received from this news was neutralised by the postscript16:
“By the way—this of course in your private ear, now and hereafter—Colonel Ogilvie is vastly disappointed that you have not been to see him in London, and that you have not even replied to his letter. Surely there must be some mistake about this. I sincerely hope so, for he looks on any breach17 of courtesy, or any defect in it, as an unpardonable sin. I know from the fact of his mentioning it to his womenkind that he has taken it to heart. Do, do my dear friend, who have done so much for us and whose friendship we wish to hold, repair this without delay. He is an old man and may possibly expect more from a younger man than from one of his own standing18. I am sure that if there has been any omission19 there is on your part a good reason for it. But do not lose any time. If you wish to please us all—and I am sure you do—you would do well to go up to Ambleside—if you have not seen him already—and call on him there. And do like a dear man drop me a line at once to say you have received this and telling me what you intend to do.”
He sat for a while quite still, putting his thoughts in order. It was now Monday so that Colonel Ogilvie would have been already some days at Ambleside. He took it for granted that Joy was with him, but he could not help a qualm of doubt about even that. Aunt Judy had not mentioned her in the matter. The only possible allusion20 was in the underlining of the word “all.” Otherwise the letter was too direct and too serious for any cryptic21 meaning.
He came to the conclusion that his best plan would be to go at once to some place on Windermere, and from there go quietly to Ambleside and find out for himself how things lay. The best place for him to stay at would, for his purposes, be Bowness. There he would leave his car with the chauffeur and drive in a carriage to Ambleside. When there he would contrive23 to meet if possible Joy alone. He would surely be able to form from her attitude some opinion of her disposition24 towards him. If he were satisfied as to this he would at once go to her father, tell him the whole story, and place himself in his hands.
But then he thought that if he were so near, his name might become known to Colonel Ogilvie; that infernal alias25 seemed to be always standing in his way! He was so obsessed26 by the subject that at times he quite overlooked the fact that neither the Colonel nor any of his family knew anything whatever of the matter. It took him an hour’s hard thought before this idea presented itself to him. It took a weight off his mind. If by any chance Colonel Ogilvie should hear that an individual called Lord Athlyne was in the neighbourhood it would mean nothing to him. Nothing except the proximity27 of one more of that “bloated aristocracy,” which one class of Americans run down—and another run after.
He was then up in Ross. As he did not wish to “rush” matters he decided to start next day. When that time came he had fully28 made up his plan of action. As the Ogilvies were at Ambleside he would go to Bowness. As there was a service of public coaches he could go between the places mentioned—without even the isolation29 of a carriage for his sole use. He would go quietly to the Inn of Greeting and learn what he could about their movements. The rest must depend on circumstances. But there must be no hurry; the matter was too serious now and the issue too important to take any risk. But when he should have seen Joy and knew, or believed, or understood … Then he would lose not a moment in seeing her father. But he might not get a chance of seeing him alone and under circumstances favourable30 to his purpose. He must be ready. All at once an idea struck him …
All these weeks Athlyne had now and again had a vague feeling of uneasiness which he could not understand: a sort of feeling that he would some time wake and wonder what he had been fretting31 and fuming32 about. Why could he not have written to Colonel Ogilvie at any time? Even before he had left New York, or whilst he had been on board ship, or whilst the American family had been in Italy, or even when the Colonel had been in London? Why not now? After all, there was nothing in any way wrong; nothing to be ashamed of. He was of good social position; at least as good as Joy’s father was. He was himself rich and wanted no fortune with his wife. He had won certain honours—a man to whose name had been suffixed V.C. and D.S.O. must be considered personally adequate for ordinary purposes. And so on. Vanity and self-interest, in addition to the working of the higher qualities, supplied many good reasons.
And yet! … He was always being brought up against one of two things: Colonel Ogilvie’s peculiar33 views and character, or his own position towards him with regard to the alias. He could always find in either of these something which might cause pain or trouble to Joy. Moreover there was another matter which was a powerful factor in his conclusions, although it was one which he did not analyse or even realise. It was one that worked unconsciously; a disposition rather than an activity; a tendency rather than a thought. Lord Athlyne was Scotch34 and Irish; a Celt of Celts on his mother’s side. He had all that underlying35 desire of the unknown which creates sentiment, and which is so pronounced a part of the Celtic character. This it is whence comes that clinging to the place of birth which has made the peasantry of the Green Isle36 for seven hundred years fight all opposing forces, from hunger to bayonets, to hold possession of their own. This it is which animated37 a race, century after century, to suffer and endure from their Conquerors38 of a more prosaic39 race all sorts of pain and want, and for reasons not understandable by others. Those who have lived amongst those Celts of the outlying fringes, amongst whom racial tendencies remain unaltered by changing circumstances, and by whom traditions are preserved not by historical purpose but by the exercise of faith, know that there is a Something which has a name but no external bounds or limitations, no quick principle, no settled purpose. Something which to an alien can only be described by negatives; if any idea can at all be arrived at by such—any idea however rudimentary, phantasmal or vague—it can only be acquired at all by a process of exclusions40. The name is “The Gloom”; the rest is a birthright. Those who can understand it need no telling or explaining; others can no more understand it than those born without eyes can see. It is a quality opposed to no other; it can exist with any. It can co-exist with fighting, with song, with commerce. It makes no change in other powers or qualities of the children of Adam. Those who possess it can be good or bad, clever or silly, heroic or mean. It can add force to imagination, understand nature, give quiet delight or spiritual pain. And the bulk of those who have it do not think of it or even know it: or if they do, hardly ever speak of it.
Athlyne had his full share of it. Being young and strong and of a class in life which seldom lacks amusement he had not been given to self-analysis. But all the same, though he did not think of it, the force was there. In his present emotional crisis it brought the lover in him up to the Celtic ideal. An ideal so strangely saturated41 with love that his whole being, his aims and ambitions, his hopes and fears, his pleasures and pains yielded place to it and for the time became merged42 in it. To him the whole world seemed to revolve43 round Joy as a pivotal point. Nothing could be of any use or interest which did not have touch of her or lead to her. So, he wanted to know beyond the mere22 measure of intellectual belief if Joy loved him or was on the way to doing so. When he was satisfied as to this he would be free to act; but not before.
On the journey he had allowed the chauffeur to drive, as he wanted to think over the whole matter without fear of interruption. He had sat in the tonneau and made from time to time notes in his pocket-book. He had now made up his mind that he would write a letter to Colonel Ogilvie telling him the whole circumstances. This he would keep in his pocket so that at the first moment when he was satisfied as to Joy’s views he could post it, in case he could not have the opportunity of a personal explanation. After dinner the second night of the journey and then in his bedroom he sat up writing the letter and then copying it out on his own note paper of which he had for the purpose brought a supply with him. When it was completed it left nothing that he could think of open to doubt. When he had got this off his mind sleep came to him.
Next day he took the wheel himself; and that day when there was fitting opportunity the car hummed along merrily at top speed. Before sunset they arrived at Bowness. There he left the car in charge of the chauffeur, on whom he again impressed the necessity for absolute silence. The man was naturally discreet44, and he saw that he was in a good situation. Athlyne was satisfied on leaving him that his orders would be thoroughly45 carried out.
In the forenoon of the next day he took the steamer which plies46 along the Lake, and in due course landed at Ambleside. His heart beat quickly now and his eyes searched keenly all around him as he moved. He would not miss a chance of seeing Joy.
点击收听单词发音
1 dealing | |
n.经商方法,待人态度 | |
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2 swerves | |
n.(使)改变方向,改变目的( swerve的名词复数 )v.(使)改变方向,改变目的( swerve的第三人称单数 ) | |
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3 undesirable | |
adj.不受欢迎的,不良的,不合意的,讨厌的;n.不受欢迎的人,不良分子 | |
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4 chauffeur | |
n.(受雇于私人或公司的)司机;v.为…开车 | |
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5 dual | |
adj.双的;二重的,二元的 | |
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6 watchfulness | |
警惕,留心; 警觉(性) | |
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7 overture | |
n.前奏曲、序曲,提议,提案,初步交涉 | |
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8 punctilious | |
adj.谨慎的,谨小慎微的 | |
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9 lesser | |
adj.次要的,较小的;adv.较小地,较少地 | |
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10 discourteous | |
adj.不恭的,不敬的 | |
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11 chagrin | |
n.懊恼;气愤;委屈 | |
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12 propitiate | |
v.慰解,劝解 | |
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13 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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14 alluding | |
提及,暗指( allude的现在分词 ) | |
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15 prospective | |
adj.预期的,未来的,前瞻性的 | |
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16 postscript | |
n.附言,又及;(正文后的)补充说明 | |
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17 breach | |
n.违反,不履行;破裂;vt.冲破,攻破 | |
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18 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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19 omission | |
n.省略,删节;遗漏或省略的事物,冗长 | |
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20 allusion | |
n.暗示,间接提示 | |
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21 cryptic | |
adj.秘密的,神秘的,含义模糊的 | |
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22 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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23 contrive | |
vt.谋划,策划;设法做到;设计,想出 | |
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24 disposition | |
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
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25 alias | |
n.化名;别名;adv.又名 | |
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26 obsessed | |
adj.心神不宁的,鬼迷心窍的,沉迷的 | |
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27 proximity | |
n.接近,邻近 | |
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28 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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29 isolation | |
n.隔离,孤立,分解,分离 | |
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30 favourable | |
adj.赞成的,称赞的,有利的,良好的,顺利的 | |
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31 fretting | |
n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
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32 fuming | |
愤怒( fume的现在分词 ); 大怒; 发怒; 冒烟 | |
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33 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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34 scotch | |
n.伤口,刻痕;苏格兰威士忌酒;v.粉碎,消灭,阻止;adj.苏格兰(人)的 | |
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35 underlying | |
adj.在下面的,含蓄的,潜在的 | |
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36 isle | |
n.小岛,岛 | |
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37 animated | |
adj.生气勃勃的,活跃的,愉快的 | |
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38 conquerors | |
征服者,占领者( conqueror的名词复数 ) | |
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39 prosaic | |
adj.单调的,无趣的 | |
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40 exclusions | |
n.不包括的项目:如接受服务项目是由投保以前已患有的疾病或伤害引致的,保险公司有权拒绝支付。;拒绝( exclusion的名词复数 );排除;被排斥在外的人(或事物);排外主义 | |
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41 saturated | |
a.饱和的,充满的 | |
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42 merged | |
(使)混合( merge的过去式和过去分词 ); 相融; 融入; 渐渐消失在某物中 | |
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43 revolve | |
vi.(使)旋转;循环出现 | |
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44 discreet | |
adj.(言行)谨慎的;慎重的;有判断力的 | |
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45 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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46 plies | |
v.使用(工具)( ply的第三人称单数 );经常供应(食物、饮料);固定往来;经营生意 | |
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