A VERY DULL AFFAIR

 “To hear you talk,” remarked Mrs. Hilary Musgrave—and, if any one is surprised to find me at her house, I can only say that Hilary, when he asked me to take a pot-luck, was quite ignorant of any ground of difference between his wife and myself, and that Mrs. Hilary could not very well eject me on my arrival in evening dress at ten minutes to eight—“to hear you talk one would think that there was no such thing as real love.”

 

She paused. I smiled.

 

“Now,” she continued, turning a fine, but scornful eye upon me, “I have never cared for any man in the world except my husband.”

 

I smiled again. Poor Hilary looked very uncomfortable. With an apologetic air he began to stammer¹ something about Parish Councils. I was not to be diverted by any such maneuver². It was impossible that he could really wish to talk on that subject.

 

“Would a person who had never eaten anything but beef make a boast of it?” I asked.

 

Hilary grinned covertly³. Mrs. Hilary pulled the lamp nearer, and took up her embroidery⁴.

 

“Do you always work the same pattern?” said I.

 

Hilary kicked me gently. Mrs. Hilary made no direct reply, but presently she began to talk.

 

“I was just about Phyllis’s age—(by the way, little Miss Phyllis was there)—when I first saw Hilary. You remember, Hilary? At Bournemouth?”

 

“Oh—er—was it Bournemouth?” said Hilary, with much carelessness.

 

“I was on the pier⁵,” pursued Mrs. Hilary. “I had a red frock on, I remember, and one of those big hats they wore that year. Hilary wore—”

 

“Blue serge,” I interpolated, encouragingly.

 

“Yes, blue serge,” said she fondly. “He had been yachting, and he was beautifully burnt. I was horribly burnt—wasn’t I, Hilary?”

 

Hilary began to pat the dog.

 

“Then we got to know one another.”

 

“Stop a minute,” said I. “How did that happen?” Mrs. Hilary blushed.

 

“Well, we were both always on the pier,” she explained. “And—and somehow Hilary got to know father, and—and father introduced him to me.”

 

“I’m glad it was no worse,” said I. I was considering Miss Phyllis, who sat listening, open-eyed.

 

“And then you know, father wasn’t always there; and once or twice we met on the cliff. Do you remember that morning, Hilary?”

 

“What morning?” asked Hilary, patting the dog with immense assiduity.

 

“Why, the morning I had my white serge on. I’d been bathing, and my hair was down to dry, and you said I looked like a mermaid⁶.”

 

“Do mermaids⁷ wear white serge?” I asked; but nobody took the least notice of me—quite properly.

 

“And you told me such a lot about yourself; and then we found we were late for lunch.”

 

“Yes,” said Hilary, suddenly forgetting the dog, “and your mother gave me an awful glance.”

 

“Yes, and then you told me that you were very poor, but that you couldn’t help it; and you said you supposed I couldn’t possibly—”

 

“Well, I didn’t think—!”

 

“And I said you were a silly old thing; and then—” Mrs. Hilary stopped abruptly⁸.

 

“How lovely,” remarked little Miss Phyllis in a wistful voice.

 

“And do you remember,” pursued Mrs. Hilary, laying down her embroidery and clasping her hands on her knees, “the morning you went to see father?”

 

“What a row there was!” said Hilary.

 

“And what an awful week it was after that! I was never so miserable⁹ in all my life. I cried till my eyes were quite red, and then I bathed them for an hour, and then I went to the pier, and you were there—and I mightn’t speak to you!”

 

“I remember,” said Hilary, nodding gently.

 

“And then, Hilary, father sent for me and told me it was no use; and I said I’d never marry any one else. And father said, ‘There, there, don’t cry. We’ll see what mother says.’”

 

“Your mother was a brick,” said Hilary, poking¹⁰ the fire.

 

“And that night they never told me anything about it, and I didn’t even change my frock, but came down, looking horrible, just as I was, in an old black rag—no, Hilary, don’t say it was pretty!”

 

Hilary, unconvinced, shook his head.

 

“And when I walked into the drawing room there was nobody there but just you; and we neither of us said anything for ever so long. And then father and mother came in and—do you remember after dinner, Hilary?”

 

“I remember,” said Hilary.

 

There was a long pause. Mrs. Hilary was looking into the fire; little Miss Phyllis’s eyes were fixed¹¹, in rapt gaze, on the ceiling; Hilary was looking at his wife—I, thinking it safest, was regarding my own boots.

 

At last Miss Phyllis broke the silence.

 

“How perfectly¹² lovely!” she said.

 

“Yes,” said Mrs. Hilary, reflectively. “And we were married three months afterwards.”

 

“Tenth of June,” said Hilary reflectively.

 

“And we had the most charming little rooms in the world! Do you remember those first rooms, dear? So tiny!”

 

“Not bad little rooms,” said Hilary.

 

“How awfully¹³ lovely,” cried little Miss Phyllis.

 

I felt that it was time to interfere¹⁴.

 

“And is that all?” I asked.

 

“All? How do you mean?” said Mrs. Hilary, with a slight start.

 

“Well, I mean, did nothing else happen? Weren’t there any complications? Weren’t there any more troubles, or any more opposition¹⁵, or any misunderstandings, or anything?”

 

“No,” said Mrs. Hilary.

 

“You never quarreled, or broke it off?”

 

“No.”

 

“Nobody came between you?”

 

“No. It all went just perfectly. Why, of course it did.”

 

“Hilary’s people made themselves nasty, perhaps?” I suggested, with a ray of hope.

 

“They fell in love with her on the spot,” said Hilary.

 

Then I rose and stood with my back to the fire.

 

“I do not know,” I observed, “what Miss Phyllis thinks about it—”

 

“I think it was just perfect, Mr. Carter.”

 

“But for my part, I can only say that I never heard of such a dull affair in all my life.”

 

“Dull!” gasped¹⁶ Miss Phyllis.

 

“Dull!” murmured Mrs. Hilary.

 

“Dull!” chuckled¹⁷ Hilary.

 

“It was,” said I severely¹⁸, “without a spark of interest from beginning to end. Such things happen by thousands. It’s commonplaceness itself. I had some hopes when you father assumed a firm attitude, but—”

 

“Mother was such a dear,” interrupted Mrs. Hilary.

 

“Just so. She gave away the whole situation. Then I did trust that Hilary would lose his place, or develop an old flame, or do something just a little interesting.”

 

“It was a perfect time,” said Mrs. Hilary.

 

“I wonder why in the world you told me about it,” I pursued.

 

“I don’t know why I did,” said Mrs. Hilary dreamily.

 

“The only possible excuse for an engagement like that,” I observed, “is to be found in intense post-nuptial unhappiness.”

 

Hilary rose, and advanced towards his wife.

 

“Your embroidery’s falling on the floor,” said he.

 

“Not a bit of it,” said I.

 

“Yes, it is,” he persisted; and he picked it up and gave it to her. Miss Phyllis smiled delightedly. Hilary had squeezed his wife’s hand.

 

“Then we don’t excuse it,” said he.

 

I took out my watch. I was not finding much entertainment.

 

“Surely it’s quite early, old man?” said Hilary.

 

“It’s nearly eleven. We’ve spent half-an-hour on the thing,” said I peevishly¹⁹, holding out my hand to my hostess.

 

“Oh, are you going? Good night, Mr. Carter.”

 

I turned to Miss Phyllis.

 

“I hope you won’t think all love affairs are like that,” I said; but I saw her lips begin to shape into “lovely,” and I hastily left the room.

 

Hilary came to help me on with my coat. He looked extremely apologetic, and very much ashamed of himself.

 

“Awfully sorry, old chap,” said he, “that we bored you with our reminiscences. I know, of course, that they can’t be very interesting to other people. Women are so confoundedly romantic.”

 

“Don’t try that on me,” said I, much disgusted. “You were just as bad yourself.”

 

He laughed, as he leant against the door.

 

“She did look ripping in that white frock,” he said, “with her hair—”

 

“Stop,” said I firmly. “She looked just like a lot of other girls.”

 

“I’m hanged if she did!” said Hilary.

 

Then he glanced at me with a puzzled sort of expression.

 

“I say, old man, weren’t you ever that way yourself?” he asked.

 

I hailed a hansom cab.

 

“Because, if you were, you know, you’d understand how a fellow remembers every—”

 

“Good night,” said I. “At least I suppose you’re not coming to the club?”

 

“Well, I think not,” said Hilary. “Ta-ta, old fellow. Sorry we bored you. Of course, if a man has never—”

 

“Never!” I groaned²⁰. “A score of times!”

 

“Well, then, doesn’t it—?

 

“No,” said I. “It’s just that that makes stories like yours so infernally—”

 

“What?” asked Hilary; for I had paused to light a cigarette.

 

“Uninteresting,” said I, getting into my cab.

 

 

1 stammer   

n.结巴，口吃；v.结结巴巴地说

参考例句：

• He's got a bad stammer.他口吃非常严重。
• We must not try to play off the boy troubled with a stammer.我们不可以取笑这个有口吃病的男孩。

2 maneuver   

n.策略[pl.]演习；v.(巧妙)控制；用策略

参考例句：

• All the fighters landed safely on the airport after the military maneuver.在军事演习后，所有战斗机都安全降落在机场上。
• I did get her attention with this maneuver.我用这个策略确实引起了她的注意。

3 covertly   

adv.偷偷摸摸地

参考例句：

• Naval organizations were covertly incorporated into civil ministries. 各种海军组织秘密地混合在各民政机关之中。 来自辞典例句
• Modern terrorism is noteworthy today in that it is being done covertly. 现代的恐怖活动在今天是值得注意的，由于它是秘密进行的。 来自互联网

4 embroidery   

n.绣花，刺绣；绣制品

参考例句：

• This exquisite embroidery won people's great admiration.这件精美的绣品，使人惊叹不已。
• This is Jane's first attempt at embroidery.这是简第一次试着绣花。

5 pier   

n.码头；桥墩，桥柱；[建]窗间壁，支柱

参考例句：

• The pier of the bridge has been so badly damaged that experts worry it is unable to bear weight.这座桥的桥桩破损厉害，专家担心它已不能负重。
• The ship was making towards the pier.船正驶向码头。

6 mermaid   

n.美人鱼

参考例句：

• How popular would that girl be with the only mermaid mom!和人鱼妈妈在一起，那个女孩会有多受欢迎！
• The little mermaid wasn't happy because she didn't want to wait.小美人鱼不太高兴，因为她等不及了。

7 mermaids   

n.（传说中的）美人鱼( mermaid的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The high stern castle was a riot or carved gods, demons, knights, kings, warriors, mermaids, cherubs. 其尾部高耸的船楼上雕满了神仙、妖魔鬼怪、骑士、国王、勇士、美人鱼、天使。 来自辞典例句
• This is why mermaids should never come on land. 这就是为什么人鱼不应该上岸的原因。 来自电影对白

8 abruptly   

adv.突然地，出其不意地

参考例句：

• He gestured abruptly for Virginia to get in the car.他粗鲁地示意弗吉尼亚上车。
• I was abruptly notified that a half-hour speech was expected of me.我突然被通知要讲半个小时的话。

9 miserable   

adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的

参考例句：

• It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
• Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。

10 poking   

n. 刺，戳，袋 vt. 拨开，刺，戳 vi. 戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢

参考例句：

• He was poking at the rubbish with his stick. 他正用手杖拨动垃圾。
• He spent his weekends poking around dusty old bookshops. 他周末都泡在布满尘埃的旧书店里。

11 fixed   

adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的

参考例句：

• Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗？
• Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定，我们就不应该随意改变。

12 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

13 awfully   

adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地

参考例句：

• Agriculture was awfully neglected in the past.过去农业遭到严重忽视。
• I've been feeling awfully bad about it.对这我一直感到很难受。

14 interfere   

v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰

参考例句：

• If we interfere, it may do more harm than good.如果我们干预的话，可能弊多利少。
• When others interfere in the affair,it always makes troubles. 别人一卷入这一事件，棘手的事情就来了。

15 opposition   

n.反对，敌对

参考例句：

• The party leader is facing opposition in his own backyard.该党领袖在自己的党內遇到了反对。
• The police tried to break down the prisoner's opposition.警察设法制住了那个囚犯的反抗。

16 gasped   

v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要

参考例句：

• She gasped at the wonderful view. 如此美景使她惊讶得屏住了呼吸。
• People gasped with admiration at the superb skill of the gymnasts. 体操运动员的高超技艺令人赞叹。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

17 chuckled   

轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She chuckled at the memory. 想起这件事她就暗自发笑。
• She chuckled softly to herself as she remembered his astonished look. 想起他那惊讶的表情，她就轻轻地暗自发笑。

18 severely   

adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地

参考例句：

• He was severely criticized and removed from his post.他受到了严厉的批评并且被撤了职。
• He is severely put down for his careless work.他因工作上的粗心大意而受到了严厉的批评。

19 peevishly   

adv．暴躁地

参考例句：

• Paul looked through his green glasses peevishly when the other speaker brought down the house with applause. 当另一个演说者赢得了满座喝彩声时，保罗心里又嫉妒又气恼。
• "I've been sick, I told you," he said, peevishly, almost resenting her excessive pity. “我生了一场病，我告诉过你了，"他没好气地说，对她的过分怜悯几乎产生了怨恨。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹

20 groaned   

v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦

参考例句：

• He groaned in anguish. 他痛苦地呻吟。
• The cart groaned under the weight of the piano. 大车在钢琴的重压下嘎吱作响。 来自《简明英汉词典》