"With a simultaneous cry of pleasure we quickened our steps, and presently we found ourselves between most interesting geometrical and ornamental1 figures composed entirely2 of bones.
"I took off my hat to those bones, with a sense of profound relief and gratitude3. My stay in the Catacombs had been far from unpleasant, since I had passed the time in the company of such an agreeable and sympathetic companion; but I was glad that it had come to an end. I had had enough of it—possibly the monotony of the scenery had tired me of it. I had fallen into the way of instructing Theophrastus; and at once I taught him to distinguish between the tibia, the cubitus, and the femur. A knowledge of anatomy4 harms no one. But I was sorry to observe that he listened to me with an air of gloom. He did not seem to share my joy at reaching our journey's end.
[Pg 301]"We had walked briskly for more than half an hour; and now and again I had paused to point out to Theophrastus some unusually artistic5 arrangement of the bones, when suddenly we came upon a lighted candle in the left eye of a skull6. I concluded that we had at last reached the realm of the living. Then we came upon candles upon candles in the eyes of skulls7, and then chandeliers full of twinkling candles. Then we heard voices: the babbling8 tinkling9 laughter of women. We were reaching the end of our journey.
"The first twentieth-century words we heard were:
"'Well, dear boy, this function isn't gay. I prefer the Bullier...'
"'Thank goodness, I'm only eighteen years old—a good long way from replacing these tibias!'
"We came into a big cavern10 to find ourselves in the middle of a fête. No one paid any attention to us; they took us for guests.
"All along those funereal11 walls were ranged rows of chairs. The light was bright, the candles and the chandeliers of skulls gleamed. At the end of the cavern was a platform covered with lines of music-stands. The musicians were just coming on to the platform.[Pg 302] The audience was taking possession of the chairs; people were arguing and joking about the macabre12 decoration of the walls.
"All the cafés of the Abyss, all the artistico-mystico-macabre scenes in which life is laughed at and death jeered13 at, all those boxes of the Butte, in which skulls grin from the walls, and skeletons rattle14 on the floor, all the funereal carnival15 of Montmartre were surpassed.
"We had before us fifty musicians of the Opera, of Lamoureux, and of Colonne, who had come down into the Kingdom of Bones to serenade the Dead. And under the vaults16 of the Catacombs, among their avenues and crossways, where stretch the tragic17 walls covered with the bony wrecks18 of men, the funeral march of Chopin raised its lamentation19 before an audience of æsthetes, of artists, of Bulgarians, of Moldo-Wallachians, of frequenters of first-nights, of M. Mifroid, and M. Theophrastus Longuet, who sleeps peacefully on his chair as he always does at the theatre.
"'Perfect, that first violin! Perfect!' I said under my breath. (I am a connoisseur20.)
"What gave me the greatest delight was the exquisite21 fashion in which the orchestra rendered the adagio22 of the third symphony of Beethoven. Finally we had 'The Dance Ma[Pg 303]cabre' of Saint-Saëns. Then I tapped Theophrastus on the shoulder and said that it was time we went home. The concert after three weeks of the Catacombs had done me a world of good.
"We walked briskly, and ten minutes later we found ourselves on the surface of the earth. I breathed a deep sigh of satisfaction: with the exception of the ham, there had been nothing old-fashioned about our three weeks' journey through the Catacombs.
"'I told you that we should get out!' I said. 'My wife will indeed be pleased to see me!'
"'So much the better for you and for her,' said Theophrastus gloomily.
"'I should never have believed that the Catacombs were so pleasant,' said I.
"'Neither should I,' said Theophrastus gloomily.
"We walked on for a few minutes in silence. It was so pleasant to be walking under the open sky and the stars instead of under a roof in electric light, that I did not hurry to take a cab.
"Then Theophrastus said, 'What are you waiting for?'
"What am I waiting for? I'm not waiting for anything or anyone. I am being waited[Pg 304] for. And I'm sure that Mme. Mifroid must be in a terrible state of anxiety.'
"'But why don't you arrest me? When I asked what were you waiting for, I meant what are you waiting for to arrest me?'
"'No, M. Longuet, no. I shan't arrest you... It was my mission to arrest Cartouche. But Cartouche no longer exists! There is only M. Longuet; and M. Longuet is my friend!'
"The eyes of Theophrastus filled with tears.
"'I have a strong feeling that I'm cured... if only I could be sure of it.'
"'What would you do if you were?' said I.
"'I should go back to my wife, my dear Marceline,' he said wistfully.
"'Well, you must go back to your wife, M. Longuet; you certainly must.'
"'You advise me to?'
"'Of course I do.'
"'No, M. Mifroid, no. She no longer expects me. Before falling through that hole in d'Enfer Street, I was careful to leave my clothes on the bank of a river. She believes me dead—drowned. She must be plunged23 in profound despair. My only satisfaction is that my dear friend, M. Lecamus, whom you know, has done everything possible for her in her affliction.'
[Pg 305]"'That makes it all the more necessary for you to go back to her,' I said.
"'I will,' said Theophrastus; and his face brightened.
"We were shaking hands with one another, with the reluctance24 to separate of bosom25 friends; and indeed our sojourn26 in the Catacombs had made us bosom friends, when suddenly Theophrastus smote27 his brow and said:
"'I must tell you a story of your youth!'
"Now, if anyone, at such a time, with Mme. Mifroid in such a state of anxiety, had said to me, 'I must tell you a story of my youth,' I should have made some excuse and fled. But he said, 'I must tell you a story of your youth.' It was extremely curious; I stopped and listened; and this was what he told me:
"'The incident took place in this spot, the Buci Cross-roads,' said Theophrastus.
"'Was I very young?' I asked, smiling.
"'Well, you must have been between fifty and fifty-five.'
"I gave a little jump. I am not quite forty. And you can understand my astonishment28 when M. Longuet spoke29 of an incident of my youth when I was between fifty and fifty-five. But he paid no heed30 to my movement, and went on:
"'At that time you had a greyish beard, cut[Pg 306] into two long broad points which flowed gracefully31 down to your belt; and you were mounted—I can see it now—on a fine Spanish horse.'
"'Really? I was mounted on a Spanish horse?' (I have never been mounted on anything but a bicycle.)
"'Ah, I was in command of archers, was I?'
"'Yes, of twenty mounted archers, and a hundred archers on foot. All this troop had come from the Palais de Justice; and when it reached the Buci Cross-roads, you dismounted, because you were thirsty, and wished before the ceremony to get outside a pint33 at the tavern34 kept by the Smacker.'
"'And for what ceremony had I come from the Palais de Justice with my hundred and twenty archers?' said I, wishing to humour him, for I only wanted to get home.
"'It was the matter of summoning me by Public Proclamation for the murder of the workman Mondelot. Therefore on that day, March 28, 1721, the Clerks of Court, trumpeters, drummers, archers on horseback, and archers on foot, issued from the Palais de Justice in an imposing35 procession, and after having made the proclamation first in the Court[Pg 307] de May, where everything passed quietly, and then again in Croix-Rouge Place, they came back here to the Buci Cross-roads. You had drunk your pint, M. Mifroid, and were mounting your Spanish horse, when this remarkable36 incident took place. The Clerk of Court read very solemnly: 'In the name of the King, through the Lords of Parliament, the said Louis-Dominique Cartouche...' when a voice, cried: 'Present! Here's Cartouche! Who wants Cartouche?'... On the instant the Clerks of Court, archers on foot, and archers on horseback, drummers and trumpeters, the whole procession broke up and fled in every direction.... Yes; there did not remain a single person at the Buci Cross-roads, not a single person except myself and the Spanish horse, after I cried:
"'Here's Cartouche!'
"Phenomenon more curious than all curious phenomena37 in the depths of the Catacombs!... M. Longuet had no sooner said, 'Here's Cartouche!' than I started to fly from the Buci Cross-roads as fast as my legs could carry me, as if the fear of Cartouche had dwelt in the calves38 of the police at the Buci Cross-roads for nearly two hundred years!"
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1
ornamental
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| adj.装饰的；作装饰用的；n.装饰品；观赏植物 | |
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2
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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anatomy
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| n.解剖学，解剖；功能，结构，组织 | |
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artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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6
skull
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| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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skulls
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| 颅骨( skull的名词复数 )； 脑袋； 脑子； 脑瓜 | |
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8
babbling
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| n.胡说，婴儿发出的咿哑声adj.胡说的v.喋喋不休( babble的现在分词 )；作潺潺声（如流水）；含糊不清地说话；泄漏秘密 | |
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9
tinkling
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| n.丁当作响声 | |
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cavern
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| n.洞穴，大山洞 | |
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funereal
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| adj.悲哀的；送葬的 | |
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12
macabre
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| adj.骇人的，可怖的 | |
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13
jeered
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| v.嘲笑( jeer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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14
rattle
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| v.飞奔，碰响；激怒；n.碰撞声；拨浪鼓 | |
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15
carnival
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| n.嘉年华会，狂欢，狂欢节，巡回表演 | |
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16
vaults
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| n.拱顶( vault的名词复数 )；地下室；撑物跳高；墓穴 | |
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17
tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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18
wrecks
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| n.沉船( wreck的名词复数 )；（事故中）遭严重毁坏的汽车（或飞机等）；（身体或精神上）受到严重损伤的人；状况非常糟糕的车辆（或建筑物等）v.毁坏[毁灭]某物( wreck的第三人称单数 )；使（船舶）失事，使遇难，使下沉 | |
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lamentation
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| n.悲叹，哀悼 | |
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20
connoisseur
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| n.鉴赏家，行家，内行 | |
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21
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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22
adagio
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| adj.缓慢的；n.柔板；慢板；adv.缓慢地 | |
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23
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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24
reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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25
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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sojourn
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| v./n.旅居，寄居；逗留 | |
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27
smote
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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29
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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30
heed
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| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
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31
gracefully
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| ad.大大方方地；优美地 | |
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32
archers
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| n.弓箭手，射箭运动员( archer的名词复数 ) | |
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33
pint
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| n.品脱 | |
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34
tavern
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| n.小旅馆，客栈；小酒店 | |
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35
imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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36
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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37
phenomena
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| n.现象 | |
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38
calves
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| n.(calf的复数)笨拙的男子，腓；腿肚子( calf的名词复数 )；牛犊；腓；小腿肚v.生小牛( calve的第三人称单数 )；（冰川）崩解；生（小牛等），产（犊）；使（冰川）崩解 | |
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