[pg 129]I was up with the west end of that wood when these two considerations struck me like a cudgel. My feet stopped of themselves and my heart along with them. "What wild game is this that I have been playing?" thought I; and turned instantly upon my heels to go elsewhere.
This brought my face to Silvermills; the path came past the village with a crook2, but all plainly visible; and, Highland3 or Lowland, there was nobody stirring. Here was my advantage, here was just such a conjuncture as Stewart had counselled me to profit by, and I ran by the side of the mill-lade, fetched about beyond the east corner of the wood, threaded through the midst of it, and returned to the west selvage, whence I could again command the path, and yet be myself unseen. Again it was all empty, and my heart began to rise.
For more than an hour I sat close in the border of the trees, and no hare or eagle could have kept a more particular watch. When that hour began the sun was already set, but the sky still all golden and the daylight clear; before the hour was done it had fallen to be half mirk, the images and distances of things were mingled4, and observation began to be difficult. All that time not a foot of man had come east from Silvermills, and the few that had gone west were honest countryfolk and their wives upon the road to bed. If I were tracked by the most cunning spies in Europe, I [pg 130]judged it was beyond the course of nature they could have any jealousy5 of where I was; and going a little further home into the wood I lay down to wait for Alan.
The strain of my attention had been great, for I had watched not the path only, but every bush and field within my vision. That was now at an end. The moon, which was in her first quarter, glinted a little in the wood; all round there was a stillness of the country; and as I lay there on my back, the next three or four hours, I had a fine occasion to review my conduct.
Two things became plain to me first: that I had had no right to go that day to Dean, and (having gone there) had now no right to be lying where I was. This (where Alan was to come) was just the one wood in all broad Scotland that was, by every proper feeling, closed against me; I admitted that, and yet stayed on, wondering at myself. I thought of the measure with which I had meted6 to Catriona that same night; how I had prated7 of the two lives I carried, and had thus forced her to enjeopardy her father's; and how I was here exposing them again, it seemed in wantonness. A good conscience is eight parts of courage. No sooner had I lost conceit8 of my behaviour, than I seemed to stand disarmed9 amidst a throng10 of terrors. Of a sudden I sat up. How if I went now to Prestongrange, caught him (as I still easily might) before he slept, and made a full submission11? Who could blame me? Not [pg 131]Stewart the writer; I had but to say that I was followed, despaired of getting clear, and so gave in. Not Catriona: here, too, I had my answer ready; that I could not bear she should expose her father. So, in a moment, I could lay all these troubles by, which were after all and truly none of mine; swim clear of the Appin murder; get forth12 out of handstroke of all the Stewarts and Campbells, all the whigs and tories, in the land; and live thenceforth to my own mind, and be able to enjoy and to improve my fortunes, and devote some hours of my youth to courting Catriona, which would be surely a more suitable occupation than to hide and run and be followed like a hunted thief, and begin over again the dreadful miseries13 of my escape with Alan.
At first I thought no shame of this capitulation; I was only amazed I had not thought upon the thing and done it earlier; and began to inquire into the causes of the change. These I traced to my lowness of spirits, that back to my late recklessness, and that again to the common, old, public, disconsidered sin of self-indulgence. Instantly the text came in my head, "How can Satan cast out Satan?" What? (I thought) I had, by self-indulgence, and the following of pleasant paths, and the lure14 of a young maid, cast myself wholly out of conceit with my own character, and jeopardised the lives of James and Alan? And I was to seek the way out by the same road as I had [pg 132]entered in? No; the hurt that had been caused by self-indulgence must be cured by self-denial; the flesh I had pampered15 must be crucified. I looked about me for that course which I least liked to follow: this was to leave the wood without waiting to see Alan, and go forth again alone, in the dark and in the midst of my perplexed16 and dangerous fortunes.
I have been the more careful to narrate17 this passage of my reflections, because I think it is of some utility, and may serve as an example to young men. But there is reason (they say) in planting kale, and even in ethic18 and religion, room for common sense. It was already close on Alan's hour, and the moon was down. If I left (as I could not very decently whistle to my spies to follow me) they might miss me in the dark and tack19 themselves to Alan by mistake. If I stayed, I could at the least of it set my friend upon his guard which might prove his mere20 salvation21. I had adventured other peoples' safety in a course of self-indulgence; to have endangered them again, and now on a mere design of penance22, would have been scarce rational. Accordingly, I had scarce risen from my place ere I sat down again, but already in a different frame of spirits, and equally marvelling23 at my past weakness and rejoicing in my present composure.
Presently after came a crackling in the thicket24. Putting my mouth near down to the ground, I whistled a note or two of Alan's air; an answer came, in the like [pg 133]guarded tone, and soon we had thralled together in the dark.
"Is this you at last, Davie?" he whispered.
"Just myself," said I.
"God, man, but I've been wearying to see ye!" says he. "I've had the longest kind of a time. A' day, I've had my dwelling25 into the inside of a stack of hay, where I couldnae see the nebs of my ten fingers; and then two hours of it waiting here for you, and you never coming! Dod, and ye're none too soon the way it is, with me to sail the morn! The morn? what am I saying?--the day, I mean."
"Ay, Alan, man, the day, sure enough," said I. "It's past twelve now, surely, and ye sail the day. This'll be a long road you have before you."
"We'll have a long crack of it first," said he.
"Well, indeed, and I have a good deal it will be telling you to hear," said I.
And I told him what behooved26, making rather a jumble27 of it, but clear enough when done. He heard me out with very few questions, laughing here and there like a man delighted: and the sound of his laughing (above all there, in the dark, where neither one of us could see the other) was extraordinary friendly to my heart.
"Ay, Davie, ye're a queer character," says he, when I had done: "a queer bitch after a', and I have no mind of meeting with the like of ye. As for your [pg 134]story, Prestongrange is a Whig like yoursel', so I'll say the less of him; and, dod! I believe he was the best friend ye had, if ye could only trust him. But Symon Fraser and James More are my ain kind of cattle, and I'll give them the name that they deserve. The muckle black de'il was father to the Frasers, a'body kens28 that; and as for the Gregara, I never could abye the reek30 of them since I could stotter on two feet. I bloodied31 the nose of one, I mind, when I was still so wambly on my legs that I cowped upon the top of him. A proud man was my father that day, God rest him! and I think he had the cause. I'll never can deny but what Robin32 was something of a piper," he added; "but as for James More, the de'il guide him for me!"
"One thing we have to consider," said I. "Was Charles Stewart right or wrong? Is it only me they're after, or the pair of us?"
"And what's your ain opinion, you that's a man of so much experience?" said he.
"It passes me," said I.
"And me too," says Alan. "Do ye think this lass would keep her word to ye?" he asked.
"I do that," said I.
"Well, there's nae telling," said he. "And anyway, that's over and done: he'll be joined to the rest of them lang syne33."
"How many would ye think there would be of them?" I asked.
[pg 135]"That depends," said Alan. "If it was only you, they would likely send two-three lively, brisk young birkies, and if they thought that I was to appear in the employ, I daresay ten or twelve," said he.
It was no use, I gave a little crack of laughter.
"And I think your own two eyes will have seen me drive that number, or the double of it, nearer hand!" cries he.
"It matters the less," said I, "because I am well rid of them for this time."
"Nae doubt that's your opinion," said he; "but I wouldnae be the least surprised if they were hunkering this wood. Ye see, David man, they'll be Hieland folk. There'll be some Frasers, I'm thinking, and some of the Gregara; and I would never deny but what the both of them, and the Gregara in especial, were clever experienced persons. A man kens little till he's driven a spreagh of neat cattle (say) ten miles through a throng lowland country and the black soldiers maybe at his tail. It's there that I learned a great part of my penetration34. And ye need nae tell me: it's better than war; which is the next best, however, though generally rather a bauchle of a business. Now the Gregara have had grand practice."
"No doubt that's a branch of education that was left out with me," said I.
"And I can see the marks of it upon ye constantly," said Alan. "But that's the strange thing about you [pg 136]folk of the college learning: ye're ignorant, and ye cannae see 't. Wae's me for my Greek and Hebrew; but, man, I ken29 that I dinnae ken them--there's the differ of it. Now, here's you. Ye lie on your wame a bittie in the bield of this wood, and ye tell me that ye've cuist off these Frasers and Macgregors. Why! Because I couldnae see them, says you. Ye blockhead, that's their livelihood35."
"Take the worst of it," said I, "and what are we to do?"
"I am thinking of that same," said he. "We might twine36. It wouldnae be greatly to my taste; and forbye that, I see reasons against it. First, it's now unco dark, and it's just humanly possible we might give them the clean slip. If we keep together, we make but the ae line of it; if we gang separate, we make twae of them: the more likelihood to stave in upon some of these gentry37 of yours. And then, second, if they keep the track of us, it may come to a fecht for it yet, Davie; and then, I'll confess I would be blythe to have you at my oxter, and I think you would be none the worse of having me at yours. So, by my way of it, we should creep out of this wood no further gone than just the inside of next minute, and hold away east for Gillane, where I'm to find my ship. It'll be like old days while it lasts, Davie; and (come the time) we'll have to think what you should be doing. I'm wae to leave ye here, wanting me."
[pg 137]"Have with ye, then!" says I. "Do ye gang back where you were stopping."
"De'il a fear!" said Alan. "They were good folks to me, but I think they would be a good deal disappointed if they saw my bonny face again. For (the way times go) I amnae just what ye could call a Walcome Guest. Which makes me the keener for your company, Mr. David Balfour of the Shaws, and set ye up! For, leave aside twa cracks here in the wood with Charlie Stewart, I have scarce said black or white since the day we parted at Corstorphine."
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1
tryst
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| n.约会；v.与…幽会 | |
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crook
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| v.使弯曲；n.小偷，骗子，贼；弯曲(处) | |
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3
highland
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| n.(pl.)高地，山地 | |
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4
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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meted
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| v.（对某人）施以，给予（处罚等）( mete的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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7
prated
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| v.（古时用语）唠叨，啰唆( prate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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8
conceit
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| n.自负，自高自大 | |
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disarmed
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| v.裁军( disarm的过去式和过去分词 )；使息怒 | |
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10
throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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12
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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13
miseries
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| n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 )；痛苦的事；穷困；常发牢骚的人 | |
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14
lure
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| n.吸引人的东西，诱惑物；vt.引诱，吸引 | |
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15
pampered
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| adj.饮食过量的，饮食奢侈的v.纵容，宠，娇养( pamper的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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16
perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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narrate
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| v.讲，叙述 | |
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ethic
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| n.道德标准，行为准则 | |
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19
tack
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| n.大头钉；假缝，粗缝 | |
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20
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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penance
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| n.（赎罪的）惩罪 | |
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23
marvelling
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| v.惊奇，对…感到惊奇( marvel的现在分词 ) | |
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24
thicket
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| n.灌木丛，树林 | |
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25
dwelling
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| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
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26
behooved
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| v.适宜( behoove的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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jumble
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| vt.使混乱，混杂；n.混乱；杂乱的一堆 | |
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28
kens
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| vt.知道（ken的第三人称单数形式） | |
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29
ken
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| n.视野，知识领域 | |
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30
reek
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| v.发出臭气；n.恶臭 | |
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31
bloodied
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| v.血污的( bloody的过去式和过去分词 )；流血的；屠杀的；残忍的 | |
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32
robin
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| n.知更鸟，红襟鸟 | |
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33
syne
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| adv.自彼时至此时，曾经 | |
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34
penetration
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| n.穿透，穿人，渗透 | |
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35
livelihood
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| n.生计，谋生之道 | |
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36
twine
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| v.搓，织，编饰；（使）缠绕 | |
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gentry
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| n.绅士阶级，上层阶级 | |
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eastward
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| adv.向东；adj.向东的；n.东方，东部 | |
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