There were only two young men in that circle, one was engaged to Ellen's friend's sister, and the other was bound to a young woman remote in Italy; neither was strikingly attractive and both regarded Harman with that awe7 tempered by undignified furtive8 derision which wealth and business capacity so often inspire in the young male. At first he was quiet and simply looked at her, as it seemed any one might look, then she perceived he looked at her intently and continuously, and was persistently9 close to her and seemed always to be trying to do things to please her and attract her attention. And then from the general behaviour of the women about her, her mother and Mrs. Harman and her friend's mother and her friend's sister, rather than from any one specific thing they said, it grew upon her consciousness that this important and fabulously10 wealthy person, who was also it seemed to her so modest and quiet and touchingly11 benevolent12, was in love with her.
"Your daughter," said Mrs. Harman repeatedly to Mrs. Sawbridge, "is charming, perfectly13 charming."
"She's such a child," said Mrs. Sawbridge repeatedly in reply.
And she told Ellen's friend's mother apropos14 of Ellen's friend's engagement that she wanted all her daughters to marry for love, she didn't care what the man had so long as they loved each other, and meanwhile she took the utmost care that Isaac had undisputed access to the girl, was watchfully15 ready to fend16 off anyone else, made her take everything he offered and praised him quietly and steadily17 to her. She pointed18 out how modest and unassuming he was, in spite of the fact that he was "controlling an immense business" and in his own particular trade "a perfect Napoleon."
"For all one sees to the contrary he might be just a private gentleman. And he feeds thousands and thousands of people...."
"Sooner or later," said Mrs. Harman, "I suppose Isaac will marry. He's been such a good son to me that I shall feel it dreadfully, and yet, you know, I wish I could see him settled. Then I shall settle—in a little house of my own somewhere. Just a little place. I don't believe in coming too much between son and daughter-in-law...."
Harman's natural avidity was tempered by a proper modesty19. He thought Ellen so lovely and so infinitely20 desirable—and indeed she was—that it seemed incredible to him that he could ever get her. And yet he had got most of the things in life he had really and urgently wanted. His doubts gave his love-making an eager, lavish21 and pathetic delicacy22. He watched her minutely in an agony of appreciation23. He felt ready to give or promise anything.
She was greatly flattered by his devotion and she liked the surprises and presents he heaped upon her extremely. Also she was sorry for him beyond measure. In the deep recesses24 of her heart was an oleographic ideal of a large brave young man with blue eyes, a wave in his fair hair, a wonderful tenor25 voice and—she could not help it, she tried to look away and not think of it—a broad chest. With him she intended to climb mountains. So clearly she could not marry Mr. Harman. And because of that she tried to be very kind indeed to him, and when he faltered26 that she could not possibly care for him, she reassured27 him so vaguely28 as to fill him with wild gusts29 of hope and herself with a sense of pledges. He told her one day between two sets of tennis—which he played with a certain tricky30 skill—that he felt that the very highest happiness he could ever attain31 would be to die at her feet. Presently her pity and her sense of responsibility had become so large and deep that the dream hero with the blue eyes was largely overlaid and hidden by them.
Then, at first a little indirectly32 and then urgently and with a voice upon the edge of tears, Harman implored33 her to marry him. She had never before in the whole course of her life seen a grown-up person on the very verge34 of tears. She felt that the release of such deep fountains as that must be averted35 at any cost. She felt that for a mere36 schoolgirl like herself, a backward schoolgirl who had never really mastered quadratics, to cause these immense and tragic37 distresses38 was abominable39. She was sure her former headmistress would disapprove40 very highly of her. "I will make you a queen," said Harman, "I will give all my life to your happiness."
She believed he would.
She refused him for the second time but with a weakening certainty in a little white summer-house that gave a glimpse of the sea between green and wooded hills. She sat and stared at the sea after he had left her, through a mist of tears; so pitiful did he seem. He had beaten his poor fists on the stone table and then caught up her hand, kissed it and rushed out.... She had not dreamt that love could hurt like that.
And all that night—that is to say for a full hour before her wet eyelashes closed in slumber—she was sleepless41 with remorse42 for the misery43 she was causing him.
The third time when he said with suicidal conviction that he could not live without her, she burst into tears of pity and yielded. And instantly, amazingly, with the famished44 swiftness of a springing panther he caught her body into his arms and kissed her on the lips....
4
They were married with every circumstance of splendour, with very expensive music, and portraits in the illustrated45 newspapers and a great glitter of favours and carriages. The bridegroom was most thoughtful and generous about the Sawbridge side of the preparations. Only one thing was a little perplexing. In spite of his impassioned impatience46 he delayed the wedding. Full of dark hints and a portentous47 secret, he delayed the wedding for twenty-five whole days in order that it should follow immediately upon the publication of the birthday honours list. And then they understood.
"You will be Lady Harman," he exulted48; "Lady Harman. I would have given double.... I have had to back the Old Country Gazette and I don't care a rap. I'd have done anything. I'd have bought the rotten thing outright49.... Lady Harman!"
He remained loverlike until the very eve of their marriage. Then suddenly it seemed to her that all the people she cared for in the world were pushing her away from them towards him, giving her up, handing her over. He became—possessive. His abjection50 changed to pride. She perceived that she was going to be left tremendously alone with him, with an effect, as if she had stepped off a terrace on to what she believed to be land and had abruptly51 descended52 into very deep water....
And while she was still feeling quite surprised by everything and extremely doubtful whether she wanted to go any further with this business, which was manifestly far more serious, out of all proportion more serious, than anything that had ever happened to her before—and unpleasant, abounding53 indeed in crumpling54 indignities55 and horrible nervous stresses, it dawned upon her that she was presently to be that strange, grown-up and preoccupied56 thing, a mother, and that girlhood and youth and vigorous games, mountains and swimming and running and leaping were over for her as far as she could see for ever....
Both the prospective57 grandmothers became wonderfully kind and helpful and intimate, preparing with gusto and an agreeable sense of delegated responsibility for the child that was to give them all the pride of maternity58 again and none of its inconveniences.
点击收听单词发音
1 recuperate | |
v.恢复 | |
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2 suite | |
n.一套(家具);套房;随从人员 | |
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3 imposing | |
adj.使人难忘的,壮丽的,堂皇的,雄伟的 | |
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4 slates | |
(旧时学生用以写字的)石板( slate的名词复数 ); 板岩; 石板瓦; 石板色 | |
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5 amiable | |
adj.和蔼可亲的,友善的,亲切的 | |
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6 automobile | |
n.汽车,机动车 | |
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7 awe | |
n.敬畏,惊惧;vt.使敬畏,使惊惧 | |
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8 furtive | |
adj.鬼鬼崇崇的,偷偷摸摸的 | |
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9 persistently | |
ad.坚持地;固执地 | |
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10 fabulously | |
难以置信地,惊人地 | |
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11 touchingly | |
adv.令人同情地,感人地,动人地 | |
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12 benevolent | |
adj.仁慈的,乐善好施的 | |
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13 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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14 apropos | |
adv.恰好地;adj.恰当的;关于 | |
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15 watchfully | |
警惕地,留心地 | |
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16 fend | |
v.照料(自己),(自己)谋生,挡开,避开 | |
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17 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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18 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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19 modesty | |
n.谦逊,虚心,端庄,稳重,羞怯,朴素 | |
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20 infinitely | |
adv.无限地,无穷地 | |
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21 lavish | |
adj.无节制的;浪费的;vt.慷慨地给予,挥霍 | |
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22 delicacy | |
n.精致,细微,微妙,精良;美味,佳肴 | |
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23 appreciation | |
n.评价;欣赏;感谢;领会,理解;价格上涨 | |
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24 recesses | |
n.壁凹( recess的名词复数 );(工作或业务活动的)中止或暂停期间;学校的课间休息;某物内部的凹形空间v.把某物放在墙壁的凹处( recess的第三人称单数 );将(墙)做成凹形,在(墙)上做壁龛;休息,休会,休庭 | |
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25 tenor | |
n.男高音(歌手),次中音(乐器),要旨,大意 | |
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26 faltered | |
(嗓音)颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 ); 支吾其词; 蹒跚; 摇晃 | |
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27 reassured | |
adj.使消除疑虑的;使放心的v.再保证,恢复信心( reassure的过去式和过去分词) | |
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28 vaguely | |
adv.含糊地,暖昧地 | |
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29 gusts | |
一阵强风( gust的名词复数 ); (怒、笑等的)爆发; (感情的)迸发; 发作 | |
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30 tricky | |
adj.狡猾的,奸诈的;(工作等)棘手的,微妙的 | |
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31 attain | |
vt.达到,获得,完成 | |
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32 indirectly | |
adv.间接地,不直接了当地 | |
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33 implored | |
恳求或乞求(某人)( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34 verge | |
n.边,边缘;v.接近,濒临 | |
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35 averted | |
防止,避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 ); 转移 | |
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36 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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37 tragic | |
adj.悲剧的,悲剧性的,悲惨的 | |
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38 distresses | |
n.悲痛( distress的名词复数 );痛苦;贫困;危险 | |
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39 abominable | |
adj.可厌的,令人憎恶的 | |
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40 disapprove | |
v.不赞成,不同意,不批准 | |
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41 sleepless | |
adj.不睡眠的,睡不著的,不休息的 | |
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42 remorse | |
n.痛恨,悔恨,自责 | |
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43 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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44 famished | |
adj.饥饿的 | |
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45 illustrated | |
adj. 有插图的,列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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46 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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47 portentous | |
adj.不祥的,可怕的,装腔作势的 | |
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48 exulted | |
狂喜,欢跃( exult的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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49 outright | |
adv.坦率地;彻底地;立即;adj.无疑的;彻底的 | |
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50 abjection | |
n. 卑鄙, 落魄 | |
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51 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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52 descended | |
a.为...后裔的,出身于...的 | |
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53 abounding | |
adj.丰富的,大量的v.大量存在,充满,富于( abound的现在分词 ) | |
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54 crumpling | |
压皱,弄皱( crumple的现在分词 ); 变皱 | |
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55 indignities | |
n.侮辱,轻蔑( indignity的名词复数 ) | |
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56 preoccupied | |
adj.全神贯注的,入神的;被抢先占有的;心事重重的v.占据(某人)思想,使对…全神贯注,使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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57 prospective | |
adj.预期的,未来的,前瞻性的 | |
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58 maternity | |
n.母性,母道,妇产科病房;adj.孕妇的,母性的 | |
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