Ruth sat near him with a book, from which she had been reading aloud. Her thin summer dress clung in graceful6 lines to her finely molded figure; the large hat cut off the light from her face, which was quietly serious, and there was a delicacy7 in its coloring and a curious liquid glow in her eyes.
Aynsley was not an artist, but the picture she made filled him with a sense of harmonious8 beauty. There was a repose9 about the girl which generally had its effect on him; but as he watched her Aynsley felt the hard throbbing10 of his heart. He had admired her greatly since they first met, and it was now some time since appreciation11 had grown into love; but the man was shrewd in some respects, and had seen that her inclination12 was not toward him. She was too friendly, too frankly13 gracious; he would rather have noticed some shy reserve. He had waited with strong patience, until her tender care of him in his illness had given him a vague hope. He feared it might prove illusory, but he could keep his secret no longer, and summoned courage to test his fortune.
“Ruth,” he said, “I’ll have to get back to the mill next week. Though it has been very pleasant, I’ve been loafing long enough.”
“I suppose you must go when you are strong enough,” she answered rather absently. “Still, you have not recovered, and perhaps they can get on without you.”
This was not encouraging. Her tone was kind, but she had shown no anxiety to detain him, and if she had wished to do so it would have been easy to give him a hint. For all that, he must learn his fate.
“It’s possible; in fact, I’ve a suspicion that they get on better when I’m away; but that is not the point. I’ve been here some time, and have made a good many demands on you. Now that you have cured me, I have no excuse for abusing your good nature.”
“You’re not abusing it,” she responded in a friendly tone. “Besides, if you need the assurance, I enjoyed taking care of you. Though the nurses really did the work, it’s nice to feel oneself useful.”
Though she smiled he was not much cheered. The care she had given him was, in a sense, impersonal15: she would have been as compassionate16 to a stranger.
“I can understand,” he said. “You are full of kindness, and must, so to speak, radiate it. It’s a positive relief to you. Anyway, that’s fortunate for me, because I shouldn’t have been lying here, almost fit now, if you hadn’t taken me in hand.”
“That’s exaggeration,” she replied with a faint blush, which he seized upon as the first favorable sign.
“Not at all,” he declared firmly. “You saved my life; I knew it when I wakened up the morning the fever left me, and the doctor practically admitted it when I asked him.” He paused and gave her a steady look, though his heart was beating fast. “And since you saved it, my life belongs to you. It’s a responsibility you have incurred17. Anyway, the life you gave me back when I’d nearly lost it is a poor thing, and not much use to me unless I can persuade you to share it. Perhaps, in good hands, it’s capable of improvement.”
Ruth was moved. She saw the deep trust and the longing18 in his eyes, and he had spoken with a touch of humor, which, she thought, was brave because it covered his want of hope. She could not doubt his love, and she knew it was worth much. The knowledge brought the color to her face and disturbed her.
“Aynsley,” she said, “I’m sorry, but—”
He made a protesting gesture.
“Wait a minute! You did not know that I loved you. I read that in your friendly candor19. I felt that I was aiming too high but I couldn’t give up the hope of winning you some day, and I meant to be patient. Now I expect you have got a painful shock; but I’m going away next week—and I was swept off my feet.”
“It isn’t a shock,” she answered with a smile that hid some confusion. “You’re too modest, Aynsley; any sensible girl would feel proud of your offer. But, for all that, I’m afraid—”
“Please think it over,” he begged. “Though I’m by no means what you have a right to expect, there’s this in my favor that, so far as I’m capable of it, you can make what you like of me. Then I’m starting on a new career, and there’s nobody who could help me along like you.”
Ruth was silent for a few moments, lost in disturbing thought. She knew his virtues20 and his failings, and she trusted him. Now she realized with a sense of guilt21 that she had not been quite blameless. She had seen his love for her, and, while she had never led him on, she might have checked him earlier; she could not be sure that she had altogether wished to do so. She was fond of him; indeed, she was willing to love him, but somehow was unable to do so.
“Aynsley,” she said, “I’m more sorry than I can tell you; but you really must put me out of your mind.”
“It’s going to be difficult,” he answered grimly. “But I believe you like me a little?”
“I think the trouble is that I like you too much—but not in the way that you wish.”
“I understand. I’ve been too much of a comrade. But if I were very patient, you might, perhaps, get to like me in the other way?”
“It would be too great a risk, Aynsley.”
“I’ll take it and never blame you if you find the thing too hard.” The eagerness suddenly died out of his voice. “But that would be very rough on you—to be tied to a man—” He broke off and was silent for a moment before he looked up at her with grave tenderness. “Ruth dear, is it quite hopeless?”
“I’m afraid so,” she said softly, but with a note in her voice which Aynsley could not misinterpret.
“Very well,” he acquiesced22 bravely. “I have to fight this thing, but you shall have no trouble on my account. I find the light rather strong out here; if you will excuse me, I think I’ll go in.”
Rising with obvious weakness, he moved off toward the house; and Ruth, realizing that he had been prompted by consideration for her, sat still and wondered why she had refused him. He was modest, brave, unselfish, and cheerful; indeed, in character and person he was all that she admired; but she could not think of him as her husband. She pondered it, temporizing23, half afraid to be quite honest with herself, until in a flash the humiliating truth was plain and she blushed with shame and anger. The love she could not give Aynsley had already been given, unasked, to another who had gone away and forgotten her.
She knew little about him, and she knew Aynsley well. Aynsley was rich, and Jimmy was obviously poor—he might even have other disadvantages; but she felt that this was relatively24 of small importance. Somehow he belonged to her, and, though she struggled against the conviction, she belonged to him. That was the end of the matter.
Growing cooler, she began to reason, and saw that she had blamed herself too hastily. After all, though Jimmy had made no open confession25, he had in various ways betrayed his feelings, and there was nothing to prove that he had forgotten her. Poverty might have bound him to silence; moreover, there was reason to believe that he was away in a lonely region, cut off from all communication with the outer world. Perhaps he often thought about her; but these were futile26 speculations27, and banishing28 them with an effort she went into the house.
“So you would not have my boy!” he said abruptly.
“Has he told you?” she asked with some embarrassment30.
“Oh, no! But I’m not a fool, and his downcast look was hint enough. I don’t know if you’re pleased to hear he has taken the thing to heart. It ought to be flattering.”
“I’m very sorry.” Ruth’s tone was indignant. “I think you are unjust.”
“And showing pretty bad taste? Well, I’m not a man of culture, and I’m often unpleasant when I’m hurt. I suppose you know the boy had set his whole mind on getting you? But of course you knew it, perhaps for some time; you wouldn’t be deceived on a point like that.”
“I can’t see what you expect to gain by trying to bully31 me!” Ruth flashed at him angrily, for her conscience pricked32 her.
Clay laughed with harsh amusement. He had broken many clever and stubborn men who had stood in his way, and this inexperienced girl’s defiance33 tickled34 him.
“My dear,” he said, “I’m not trying to do anything of the kind. If I were, I’d go about it on a very different plan. Aynsley’s a good son, a straight man without a grain of meanness, and you could trust him with your life.”
“Yes,” she answered softly, “I know. I’m very sorry—I can’t say anything else.”
Clay pondered for a few moments. Her frank agreement disarmed35 him, but he could not understand his forbearance. He had won Aynsley’s mother in the face of the determined36 opposition37 of her relatives, and there was a primitive38 strain in him. Had all this happened when he was younger he would have urged his son to carry Ruth off by force, and now, although the times had changed, there were means by which she could, no doubt, be compelled to yield. Still, although he was not scrupulous39, and it might be done without Aynsley’s knowledge, he would not consider it. She had saved the boy’s life, and he had, moreover, a strange respect for her.
“Well,” he conceded, “you look as if you knew your mind, and I guess Aynsley must make the best of it.”
Ruth was relieved when he left her, but she was also puzzled by a curious feeling that she was no longer afraid of him. In spite of his previous declaration of gratitude40, she had dreaded41 his resentment42; and now that uneasiness had gone. He had said nothing definite to reassure43 her, but she felt that while he regretted her refusal, she could look upon him as a friend instead of a possible enemy.
During the evening she told her father, who had been absent for a day or two.
“I am not surprised,” he said; “I even hoped you would take him. However, it’s too late now, and if you hadn’t much liking44 for Aynsley I wouldn’t have urged you.”
“I was sure of that,” Ruth said with an affectionate glance.
“How did Clay take your refusal of his son?”
“I think he took it very well. He paid me a compliment as he went away.”
She noticed her father’s look of relief, and it struck her as being significant.
“You have reason to feel flattered,” he said, “because Clay’s apt to make trouble when he is thwarted45. For all that, it’s unfortunate your inclinations46 didn’t coincide with his wishes.”
“Why?” Ruth asked sharply.
Osborne looked amused at her bluntness.
“Well, I really think Aynsley has a good deal to recommend him: money, position, pleasant manners, and an estimable character. Since you’re not satisfied, it looks as if you were hard to please.”
“I have no fault to find with him,” Ruth answered with a blush. “Still, one doesn’t make up a list of the good qualities one’s husband ought to have.”
“It might not be a bad plan,” Osborne said humorously; “anyway, if you could find a man to meet the requirements.” He dropped his bantering47 manner. “I’m sorry you dismissed Aynsley, but if you are satisfied that it was best, there’s no more to be said.”
He turned away, and Ruth pondered what she had heard. It was plain that her father shrank from offending Clay; and that seemed to confirm the vague but unpleasant suspicions she had entertained about their business relations. Somehow she felt that not yet had she got at the bottom of her father’s dealings with that man.
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1
scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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drowsy
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| adj.昏昏欲睡的，令人发困的 | |
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3
ripples
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| 逐渐扩散的感觉( ripple的名词复数 ) | |
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checkered
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| adj.有方格图案的 | |
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tormented
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| 饱受折磨的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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7
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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8
harmonious
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| adj.和睦的，调和的，和谐的，协调的 | |
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repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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12
inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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13
frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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15
impersonal
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| adj.无个人感情的，与个人无关的，非人称的 | |
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compassionate
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| adj.有同情心的，表示同情的 | |
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17
incurred
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| [医]招致的，遭受的； incur的过去式 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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candor
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| n.坦白，率真 | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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acquiesced
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| v.默认，默许( acquiesce的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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23
temporizing
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| v.敷衍( temporize的现在分词 )；拖延；顺应时势；暂时同意 | |
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24
relatively
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| adv.比较...地，相对地 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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futile
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| adj.无效的，无用的，无希望的 | |
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speculations
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| n.投机买卖( speculation的名词复数 )；思考；投机活动；推断 | |
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28
banishing
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的现在分词 ) | |
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veranda
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| n.走廊；阳台 | |
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embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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31
bully
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| n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮 | |
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pricked
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| 刺，扎，戳( prick的过去式和过去分词 )； 刺伤； 刺痛； 使剧痛 | |
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defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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tickled
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| （使）发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）愉快，逗乐 | |
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35
disarmed
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| v.裁军( disarm的过去式和过去分词 )；使息怒 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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scrupulous
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| adj.审慎的，小心翼翼的，完全的，纯粹的 | |
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40
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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41
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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42
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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43
reassure
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| v.使放心，使消除疑虑 | |
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44
liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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45
thwarted
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| 阻挠( thwart的过去式和过去分词 )； 使受挫折； 挫败； 横过 | |
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46
inclinations
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| 倾向( inclination的名词复数 )； 倾斜； 爱好； 斜坡 | |
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47
bantering
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| adj.嘲弄的v.开玩笑，说笑，逗乐( banter的现在分词 )；（善意地）取笑，逗弄 | |
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