There was rebellion in her eyes.
“He is a good man. Why should he not have what other men crave5 for? And I love him. There is not a man so tall and fine in all the Forest.”
She rested her elbows on the ground and her chin in her two hands, and stared at the gorse bushes.
“Geraint would not have hesitated. Pah! that black rat! How the girls would laugh at me! I don’t care. Why did God make him a priest?”
She frowned fiercely and bit at her lower lip, the elemental passion in her refusing to be dominated by the rules of the Church.
“He is a good man. No; I will not go away. Priestcraft is all wrong. The Lollards say so; I could argue it out with him. As if living down there in a priory made men good! Bah! what nonsense! Father Geraint is a black villain6, and the rest of them are not much better. I wonder if he knows?”
A note of tenderness sounded in the turmoil7 of her brooding. She smiled and caressed8 the grass, stroking it with her open hand.
“Perhaps it would hurt him if he knew. And he was as frightened of me as though I had walked naked into the cell! Oh, my heart!”
Martin Valliant had been praying, little guessing that the days would come when he would trust to his own heart, and not be forever falling on his knees and asking strength from God. He had thrown Kate’s unbaked loaves into the fire, and made a meal from the scraps9 he had found in the cupboard. But he was in no mood to sit still and think. Father Jude’s spade offered itself as an honest companion, and Martin went forth10 into the garden to dig.
He had not turned two spadefuls of soil when Kate Succory began singing. She was sitting hidden by the gorse, her arms hugging her knees, and her voice had no note of wayward exultation11. It was as though she sang to herself plaintively12, like a bird bewailing its lost mate.
Martin frowned, and stood listening, but her singing did not die away into the distance as he had expected. She was hidden somewhere, and her voice remained to trouble him.
He began to dig with fierce determination, jaw13 set, eyes staring at the brown soil. And presently he stopped, and lifted up his head like a rabbit that has crouched14 hidden in a tuft of grass. What a chance for a jester to have thrown a clod at him! The girl’s singing had ceased.
Martin breathed hard, and lifted up his spade for a stroke, but the silence had fooled him.
“The moon shone full on my window
When Jock came down through the wood,
And I felt the wind in the trees blow
The springtime into my blood.”
She gave the words with a kind of passionate15 recklessness, and all her youth seemed to thrill in her throat. Martin bowed his head and went on digging as though by sheer physical effort he could save himself from being a man.
Presently he found himself up against the hedge, with no more ground that he could attack with the spade. The hedge was in leaf, and hid the open moor from him. He fancied he heard some one moving on the other side of the green wall.
“Martin—Martin Valliant.”
“Do not be angry with me, Martin Valliant; I want to speak with you. You are a good man and to be trusted; I am a grown woman and no fool.”
Martin hesitated.
“What would you say to me?”
“Many things. I have the wit to know that all is not well with the world. We are heretics, Father Martin, heretics in our hearts. We—in Paradise—no longer believe what the monks17 teach us, for they are bad men, who laugh in their sleeves at God.”
Martin’s eyes hardened.
“Such words should not come from your lips, child.”
She laughed recklessly.
“I speak of what I see. Is Father Geraint a holy man? Do the brothers keep their vows18? And why should they—when they are but men? It is all a great mockery. And why did they send you away to this solitary19 place?”
He did not answer her at once, and his face was sad.
“No, it is no mockery,” he said at last, “nor is life easy for those who strive toward holiness. Get you gone, Kate. I will keep my faith with God.”
He could hear her plucking at the hedge with her fingers.
“God forgive you,” he answered her. “You are to me but a brown bird or a child. Shall I offend against God, and you, and my own soul because other men are base? No; and I will prove my faith.”
She heard him go to the cell, and a sudden awe21 of him awoke in her heart. She went and hid in the gorse and waited, expecting some strange and violent thing to happen. Presently she saw him come forth carrying an oak stool, a length of rope, and a knife. He went straight toward the great wooden cross on its mound22, and for a moment panic seized her. Martin Valliant was going to hang himself!
She crouched, watching him, ready to rush out and strive with him for his life. She saw Martin set the oak stool at the foot of the cross, stand on it, cut the rope into two pieces, and fasten them to the two arms of the cross. He made a loop of each, and turning his back to the beam, thrust his hands through the loops. Then she understood.
Martin Valliant had only to thrust the stool away or take his feet from it, and he would hang by the arms—crucified. And that was what he did. He raised himself by drawing on the ropes, lifted his feet from the oak stool, and let himself drop so that he hung by the arms.
Kate knelt there, her arms folded across her bosom23. Her brown eyes had grown big and solemn, more like the eyes of a child. She looked at Martin Valliant, and her awe of him was mingled24 with a strange, choking tenderness.
How long would he hang there? How long would he endure? He had only to place his feet upon the oak stool in order to rest himself to show some mercy to his body. But the soul of the man welcomed pain. His eyes looked steadily25 toward the sea with an obstinate26 tranquillity27 that made her marvel28 at his patience.
The day was far spent and the sun low in the west, and as the sun sank lower it fell behind the cross and showed like a halo about Martin Valliant’s head. The glare was in Kate’s eyes, so that the cross and the man hanging upon it were no more than a black outline.
How long would he endure? How would it end?
And then, of a sudden, the eyes of her soul were opened. She was no longer the laughing wench in love with the shape of a man. She saw something noble hanging there against the sunset, a figure that was like the figure of the Christ.
She flung herself on her face, and wept for Martin and her own heart. There was no escape from the truth. It was she who had crucified him, put him to this torment29.
The sun had touched the hills and there was a wonderful golden radiance covering the earth as she rose up with wet eyes, and hastened toward the cross. She went on her knees, kissed the man’s feet, and wiped away the mark of her kisses with her hair.
“I will go,” she said, bowing her head. “If I have sinned against your holiness, Martin Valliant, forgive me—because I love you.”
He looked down at her and smiled, though his arms felt as though they were being torn from their sockets30.
“Who am I that I should forgive you, sister? Sometimes it is good to suffer. Go back to Paradise.”
She rose up and left him, running wildly down the long slope of the moor, not daring to let herself look back.
“He shall suffer no more for my sake,” she kept saying to herself, and all the while she was weeping and wishing herself dead
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1
moor
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| n.荒野，沼泽；vt.(使)停泊；vi.停泊 | |
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downwards
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| adj./adv.向下的（地），下行的（地） | |
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3
lithe
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| adj.(指人、身体)柔软的，易弯的 | |
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supple
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| adj.柔软的，易弯的，逢迎的，顺从的，灵活的；vt.使柔软，使柔顺，使顺从；vi.变柔软，变柔顺 | |
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5
crave
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| vt.渴望得到，迫切需要，恳求，请求 | |
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villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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7
turmoil
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| n.骚乱，混乱，动乱 | |
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8
caressed
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| 爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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9
scraps
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| 油渣 | |
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10
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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exultation
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| n.狂喜，得意 | |
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12
plaintively
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| adv.悲哀地，哀怨地 | |
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13
jaw
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| n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训 | |
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14
crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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15
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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16
chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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monks
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| n.修道士，僧侣( monk的名词复数 ) | |
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18
vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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19
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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20
sullenly
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| 不高兴地，绷着脸，忧郁地 | |
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21
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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22
mound
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| n.土墩，堤，小山；v.筑堤，用土堆防卫 | |
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23
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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24
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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obstinate
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| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
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tranquillity
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| n. 平静, 安静 | |
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28
marvel
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| vi.(at)惊叹vt.感到惊异；n.令人惊异的事 | |
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29
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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30
sockets
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| n.套接字，使应用程序能够读写与收发通讯协定(protocol)与资料的程序( Socket的名词复数 )；孔( socket的名词复数 )；（电器上的）插口；托座；凹穴 | |
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