Sometimes she went to a matinée or a concert on Saturday afternoon, alternating these breaks with afternoons of hard work. For the Fernhill days, with their subsequent pain and restlessness had left her with a definite ambition. She regarded her present life as a means to an end. She did not intend to be always a scribbler of extracts and a copier of old woodcuts, but had visions of her own art spreading its wings and lifting her out of the crowd. She tried to paint on Sundays, struggling with the atmosphere of Bosnia Road, and attempting to make use of the north light in her back bedroom, while she enlarged and elaborated some of the rough sketches5 in her sketch4 book. Her surroundings were trite6 and dreary7 enough, but youth and ardour are marvellous torch-bearers, and many a fine thing has been conceived and carried through in a London lodging-house. She had plans for hiring a little studio somewhere, or even of persuading Mrs. Buss, her landlady8, to let her have a makeshift shed put up in the useless patch of back garden.
When she looked back on the Fernhill days, they seemed to her very strange and wonderful, covered with a bloom of mystery, touched with miraculous9 sunlight. She hoped that they would help her to do big work. The memories were in her blood, she was the richer for them, even though she had suffered and still suffered. Now that she was in London the summer seemed more beautiful than it had been, nor did she remind herself that it had happened to be one of those rare fine summers that appear occasionally just to make the average summer seem more paltry10. When she had received a cheque for some eighty pounds, representing the sum her furniture had brought her after the payment of all expenses, she had written to Canterton and returned him the hundred pounds he had paid her, pleading that it irked her memories of their comradeship. She had given Kate Duveen’s address, after asking her friend’s consent, and in her letter she had written cheerfully and bravely, desiring Canterton to remember their days together, but not to attempt to see her.
“You will be kind, and not come into this new life of mine. I am not ashamed to say that I have suffered, but that I have nothing to regret. Since I am alone, it is best that I should be alone. You will understand. When the pain has died down, one does not want old wounds reopened.
“I think daily of Lynette. Kiss her for me. Some day it may be possible for me to see her again.”
Three weeks passed before Kate Duveen handed Eve a letter as they crossed Russell Square in the direction of Tottenham Court Road. It was a raw, misty11 morning, and the plane trees, with their black boles and boughs12, looked sombre and melancholy13.
“This came for you.”
“Not cured yet!”
“Have I asked to be cured?”
Eve read Canterton’s letter at her desk at Miss Champion’s. It was a longish letter, and as she read it she seemed to hear him talking in the fir woods below Orchards15 Corner.
“Dear Eve,—I write to you as a man who has been humbled16, and who has had to bear the bitterness of not being able to make amends17.
“I came to see things with your eyes, quite suddenly, the very morning that you went away. I took Lynette with me to Orchards Corner, to show her as a symbol of my surrender. But you had gone.
“I was humbled. And the silence that shut me in humbled me still more.
“I did not try to discover things, though that might have been easy.
“You had been offered, unexpectedly, a very good post in London, and your mother’s death had made you feel restless at Orchards Corner. That was what I said.
“Lynette talks of you very often. It is, ‘When will Miss Eve come down to see us?’ ‘Won’t she spend her holidays here?’ ‘Won’t you take me to London, daddy, to see Miss Eve?’
“As for this money that you have returned to me, I have put it aside and added a sum to it for a certain purpose that has taken my fancy. I let you return it to me, because I have some understanding of your pride.
“I am glad, deeply glad, that good luck has come to you. If I can serve you at any time and in any way, you can count on me to the last breath.
“I am a different man, in some respects, from the man I was three months ago. Try to realise that. Try to realise what it suggests.
“If you realise it, will you let me see you now and again, just as a comrade and a friend?
“Say yes or no.
“James Canterton.”
Eve was bemused all day, her eyes looking through her work into infinite distances. She avoided Kate Duveen, whose unsentimental directness would have hurt her, lunched by herself, and walked home alone to Bosnia Road. She sat staring at the fire most of the evening before she wrote to Canterton.
“Your letter has made me both sad and happy, Jim. Don’t feel humbled on my account. The humiliation19 should be mine, because neither the world nor I could match your magnanimity.
“Sometimes my heart is very hungry for sight of Lynette.
“Yes, I am working hard. It is better that I should say ‘No.’
“Eve.”
Four days passed before Kate handed her another letter.
“Perhaps you are right, and I am wrong. If it is your wish that I should not see you, I bow to it with all reverence20.
“Do not think that I do not understand.
“Some day, perhaps, you will come to see Lynette. Or I could bring her up to town and leave her at your friend’s for you to find her. I promise to lay no ambuscades. When you have gone I can call for her again.
“I should love her better because she had been near you.”
Kate Duveen was hard at work one evening, struggling, with the help of a dictionary, through a tough book on German philosophy, when the maid knocked at her door.
“What is it, Polly?”
The girl’s name was Ermentrude, but Kate persisted in calling her Polly.
“There’s a gentleman downstairs, miss. ’E’s sent up ’is card. ’E wondered whether you’d see ’im.”
Kate glanced at the card and read, “James Canterton.”
She hesitated a moment.
“Yes, I will see him. Ask him up.”
Her hard, workaday self had risen as to a challenge. She felt an almost fierce eagerness to meet this man, to give him battle, and rout21 him with her truth-telling and sarcastic22 tongue. Canterton, as she imagined him, stood for all the old man-made sexual conveniences, and the social makeshift that she hated. He was the big, prejudiced male, grudging23 a corner of the working world to women, but ready enough to make use of them when his passions or his sentiments were stirred.
When he came into the room she did not rise from the table, but remained sitting there with her books before her.
“Miss Duveen?”
“Yes. Will you shut the door and sit down?”
She spoke24 with a rigid25 asperity26, and he obeyed her, but without any sign of embarrassment27 or nervousness. There was just a subtle something that made her look at him more intently, more interestedly, as though he was not the sort of man she had expected to see.
“It is Mr. Canterton of Fernhill, is it not?”
“Yes.”
She was merciless enough to sit there in silence, with her rigid, watchful28 face, waiting for him to break the frost. Her mood had passed suddenly beyond mere29 prejudice. She felt the fighting spirit in her piqued30 by a suspicion that she was dealing31 with no ordinary man.
He sat in one of her arm-chairs, facing her, and meeting her eyes with perfect candour.
“I am wondering whether I must explain——”
“Your call, and its object?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think it is necessary. I think I know why you have come.”
“So much the better.”
She caught him up as though he were assuming her to be a possible accomplice32.
“I may as well tell you that you will get nothing out of me. She does not live here.”
“Perhaps you will tell me what you imagine my object to be.”
“You want Eve Carfax’s address.”
For the first time she saw that she had stung him.
“Then I can assure you you are wrong. I have no intention of asking for it. It is a point of honour.”
“A point of honour!”
She became conscious of his smile, a smile that began deep down in his eyes. It angered her a little, because it suggested that his man’s knowledge was deeper, wiser, and kinder than hers.
“I take it, Miss Duveen, that you are Eve’s very good friend.”
“I hope so.”
“That is exactly why I have come to you. Understand me, Eve is not to know that I have been here.”
“I will. I want you to tell me just how she is—if she is in really bearable surroundings?”
Kate’s eyes studied him over her books. Here was something more vital than German philosophy.
“Mr. Canterton, I ought to tell you that I know a little of what has happened this summer. Not that Eve is a babbler——”
“I am glad that you know.”
“Really. I should not have thought that you would be glad.”
“I am. Will you answer my question?”
“And may I ask what claim you have to be told anything about Eve?”
He answered her quietly, “I have no right at all.”
“You recognise that. Wasn’t it rather a pity——”
“Miss Duveen, I have not come here to justify37 anything. I wanted a fine, working comradeship, and Eve showed me, that for a particular reason, it was impossible. Till I met her there was nothing on earth so dear to me as my child, Lynette. When Eve came into my life she shared it with the child. Is it monstrous38 or impertinent that I should desire to know whether she is in the way of being happy?”
Kate saw in him a man different from the common crowd of men, and Eve’s defence of him recurred39 to her. His frankness was the frankness of strength. His bronzed head, with its blue eyes and generous mouth began to take on a new dignity.
“Mr. Canterton, I am not an admirer of men.”
“You should have studied flowers.”
“Thank you. I will answer your question. Eve is earning a living. It is not luxury, but it is better than most women workers can boast of. She works hard. And she has ambitions.”
He answered at once.
“I am glad of that. Ambition—the drive of life, is everything. You have given me good news.”
Kate Duveen sat in thought a moment, staring at the pages of German philosophy.
“Mr. Canterton, I’m interested. I am going to be intrusive40. Is it possible for a man to be impersonal41?”
“Yes, and no. It depends upon the plane to which one has climbed.”
“You could be impersonally42 kind to Eve.”
“I think that I told you that I am very fond of my youngster, Lynette. That is personal and yet impersonal. It is not of the flesh.”
She nodded her head, and he rose.
“I will ask you to promise me two things.”
“What are they?”
“That if Eve should wish to see Lynette, I may leave the child here, and call for her again after Eve has gone?”
Kate considered the point.
“Yes, that’s sensible enough. I can see no harm in it. And the other thing?”
“That if Eve should be in trouble at any time, you will promise to let me know?”
She looked at him sharply.
“Wait! It flashed across your mind that I am waiting for my opportunity? You are descending43 to the level of the ordinary man whom you despise. I asked this, because I should want to help her without her knowing.”
Kate Duveen stood up.
“You scored a hit there. Yes, I’ll promise that. Of course, Eve will never know you have been here.”
“I rely on you there. Men are apt to forget that women have pride.”
She held out a hand to him.
“There’s my pledge. I can assure you that I had some bitter things under my tongue when you came in. I have not said them.”
“They could not have hurt more than some of my own thoughts have hurt me. That’s the mistake people make. The whip does not wound so much as compassion44.”
“Yes, that’s true. A blow puts our egotism in a temper. I’ll remember that!”
“I am glad that you are Eve’s friend.”
Kate Duveen stood looking down into the fire after Canterton had gone.
“One must not indulge in absolute generalities,” she thought. “Men can be big—sometimes. Now for this stodgy45 old German.”
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收听单词发音
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1
scribbling
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| n.乱涂[写]胡[乱]写的文章[作品]v.潦草的书写( scribble的现在分词 )；乱画；草草地写；匆匆记下 | |
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2
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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conjured
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| 用魔术变出( conjure的过去式和过去分词 )； 祈求，恳求； 变戏法； （变魔术般地） 使…出现 | |
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4
sketch
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| n.草图；梗概；素描；v.素描；概述 | |
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5
sketches
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| n.草图( sketch的名词复数 )；素描；速写；梗概 | |
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6
trite
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| adj.陈腐的 | |
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7
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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8
landlady
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| n.女房东，女地主 | |
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9
miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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10
paltry
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| adj.无价值的，微不足道的 | |
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11
misty
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| adj.雾蒙蒙的，有雾的 | |
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12
boughs
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| 大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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13
melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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14
kindled
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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15
orchards
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| （通常指围起来的）果园( orchard的名词复数 ) | |
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16
humbled
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| adj. 卑下的，谦逊的，粗陋的 vt. 使 ... 卑下，贬低 | |
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17
amends
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| n. 赔偿 | |
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18
smother
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| vt./vi.使窒息；抑制；闷死；n.浓烟；窒息 | |
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19
humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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20
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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21
rout
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| n.溃退，溃败；v.击溃，打垮 | |
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22
sarcastic
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| adj.讥讽的，讽刺的，嘲弄的 | |
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grudging
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| adj.勉强的，吝啬的 | |
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24
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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25
rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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26
asperity
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| n.粗鲁，艰苦 | |
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embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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28
watchful
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| adj.注意的，警惕的 | |
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29
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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30
piqued
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| v.伤害…的自尊心( pique的过去式和过去分词 )；激起（好奇心） | |
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31
dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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32
accomplice
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| n.从犯，帮凶，同谋 | |
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33
ironical
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| adj.讽刺的，冷嘲的 | |
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34
dictate
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| v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令 | |
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35
glimmer
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| v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光 | |
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36
flickered
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| （通常指灯光）闪烁，摇曳( flicker的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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37
justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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38
monstrous
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| adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的 | |
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39
recurred
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| 再发生，复发( recur的过去式和过去分词 )； 治愈 | |
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40
intrusive
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| adj.打搅的；侵扰的 | |
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41
impersonal
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| adj.无个人感情的，与个人无关的，非人称的 | |
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42
impersonally
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| ad.非人称地 | |
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43
descending
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| n. 下行 adj. 下降的 | |
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44
compassion
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| n.同情，怜悯 | |
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45
stodgy
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| adj.易饱的；笨重的；滞涩的；古板的 | |
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