BOOK II. THE WINDINGS OF A LABYRINTH. XVI. COGITATIONS.

 My cook had prepared for me a most excellent dinner, thinking that I needed all the comfort possible after a day of such trying experiences. But I ate little of it; my thoughts were too busy, my mind too much exercised. What would be the verdict of the jury, and could this especial jury be relied upon to give a just verdict?

 

At seven I had left the table and was shut up in my own room. I could not rest till I had fathomed¹ my own mind in regard to the events of the day.

 

The question—the great question, of course, now—was how much of Howard's testimony² was to be believed, and whether he was, notwithstanding his asseverations to the contrary, the murderer of his wife. To most persons the answer seemed easy. From the expression of such people as I had jostled in leaving the court-room, I judged that his sentence had already been passed in the minds of most there present. But these hasty judgments⁴ did not influence me. I[Pg 164] hope I look deeper than the surface, and my mind would not subscribe⁵ to his guilt⁶, notwithstanding the bad impression made upon me by his falsehoods and contradictions.

 

Now why would not my mind subscribe to it? Had sentiment got the better of me, Amelia Butterworth, and was I no longer capable of looking a thing squarely in the face? Had the Van Burnams, of all people in the world, awakened⁷ my sympathies at the cost of my good sense, and was I disposed to see virtue⁸ in a man in whom every circumstance as it came to light revealed little but folly⁹ and weakness? The lies he had told—for there is no other word to describe his contradictions—would have been sufficient under most circumstances to condemn¹⁰ a man in my estimation. Why, then, did I secretly look for excuses to his conduct?

 

Probing the matter to the bottom, I reasoned in this way: The latter half of his evidence was a complete contradiction of the first, purposely so. In the first, he made himself out a cold-hearted egotist with not enough interest in his wife to make an effort to determine whether she and the murdered woman were identical; in the latter, he showed himself in the light of a man influenced to the point of folly by a woman to whom he had been utterly¹¹ unyielding a few hours before.

 

Now, knowing human nature to be full of contradictions, I could not satisfy myself that I should be justified¹² in accepting either half of his testimony as absolutely true. The man who is all firmness one minute may be all weakness the next, and in face of the calm assertions made by this one when driven to bay by the unexpected discoveries of the police, I dared not decide that his final assurances were altogether false, and that he was[Pg 165] not the man I had seen enter the adjoining house with his wife.

 

Why, then, not carry the conclusion farther and admit, as reason and probability suggested, that he was also her murderer; that he had killed her during his first visit and drawn¹³ the shelves down upon her in the second? Would not this account for all the phenomena¹⁴ to be observed in connection with this otherwise unexplainable affair? Certainly, all but one—one that was perhaps known to nobody but myself, and that was the testimony given by the clock. It said that the shelves fell at five, whereas, according to Mr. Stone's evidence, it was four, or thereabouts, when Mr. Van Burnam left his father's house. But the clock might not have been a reliable witness. It might have been set wrong, or it might not have been running at all at the time of the accident. No, it would not do for me to rely too much upon anything so doubtful, nor did I; yet I could not rid myself of the conviction that Howard spoke¹⁵ the truth when he declared in face of Coroner and jury that they could not connect him with this crime; and whether this conclusion sprang from sentimentality or intuition, I was resolved to stick to it for the present night at least. The morrow might show its futility¹⁶, but the morrow had not come.

 

Meanwhile, with this theory accepted, what explanation could be given of the very peculiar¹⁷ facts surrounding this woman's death? Could the supposition of suicide advanced by Howard before the Coroner be entertained for a moment, or that equally improbable suggestion of accident?

 

Going to my bureau drawer, I drew out the old grocer-bill which has already figured in these pages,[Pg 166] and re-read the notes I had scribbled¹⁸ on its back early in the history of this affair. They related, if you will remember, to this very question, and seemed even now to answer it in a more or less convincing way. Will you pardon me if I transcribe¹⁹ these notes again, as I cannot imagine my first deliberations on this subject to have made a deep enough impression for you to recall them without help from me.

 

The question raised in these notes was threefold, and the answers, as you will recollect²⁰, were transcribed²¹ before the cause of death had been determined²² by the discovery of the broken pin in the dead woman's brain.

 

These are the queries²³:

 

First: was her death due to accident?

 

Second: was it effected by her own hand?

 

Third: was it a murder?

 

The replies given are in the form of reasons, as witness:

 

My reasons for not thinking it an accident.

 

1. If it had been an accident, and she had pulled the cabinet over upon herself,[B] she would have been found with her feet pointing towards the wall where the cabinet had stood. But her feet were towards the door and her head under the cabinet.

 

2. The precise arrangement of the clothing about her feet, which precluded²⁴ any theory involving accident.

 

My reason for not thinking it a suicide.

 

She could not have been found in the position observed without having lain down on the floor while living, and then pulled the shelves down upon herself. (A theory obviously too improbable to be considered.)

 

My reason for not thinking it murder.[Pg 167]

 

She would need to have been held down on the floor while the cabinet was being pulled over on her, a thing which the quiet aspect of the hands and feet make appear impossible. (Very good, but we know now that she was dead when the shelves fell over, so that my one excuse for not thinking it a murder is rendered null.)

 

My reasons for thinking it a murder.

 

----But I will not repeat these. My reasons for not thinking it an accident or a suicide remained as good as when they were written, and if her death had not been due to either of these causes, then it must have been due to some murderous hand. Was that hand the hand of her husband? I have already given it as my opinion that it was not.

 

Now, how to make that opinion good, and reconcile me again to myself; for I am not accustomed to have my instincts at war with my judgment³. Is there any reason for my thinking as I do? Yes, the manliness²⁵ of man. He only looked well when he was repelling²⁶ the suspicion he saw in the surrounding faces. But that might have been assumed, just as his careless manner was assumed during the early part of the inquiry²⁷. I must have some stronger reason than this for my belief. The two hats? Well, he had explained how there came to be two hats on the scene of crime, but his explanation had not been very satisfactory. I had seen no hat in her hand when she crossed the pavement to her father's house. But then she might have carried it under her cape²⁸ without my seeing it—perhaps. The discovery of two hats and of two pairs of gloves in Mr. Van Burnam's parlors²⁹ was a fact worth further investigation³⁰, and mentally I made a note of it, though at the[Pg 168] moment I saw no prospect³¹ of engaging in this matter further than my duties as a witness required.

 

And now what other clue was offered me, save the one I have already mentioned as being given by the clock? None that I could seize upon; and feeling the weakness of the cause I had so obstinately³² embraced, I rose from my seat at the tea-table and began making such alterations³³ in my toilet as would prepare me for the evening and my inevitable³⁴ callers.

 

"Amelia," said I to myself, as I encountered my anything but satisfied reflection in the glass, "can it be that you ought, after all, to have been called Araminta? Is a momentary³⁵ display of spirit on the part of a young man of doubtful principles, enough to make you forget the dictates³⁶ of good sense which have always governed you up to this time?"

 

The stern image which confronted me from the mirror made me no reply, and smitten³⁷ with sudden disgust, I left the glass and went below to greet some friends who had just ridden up in their carriage.

 

They remained one hour, and they discussed one subject: Howard Van Burnam and his probable connection with the crime which had taken place next door. But though I talked some and listened more, as is proper for a woman in her own house, I said nothing and heard nothing which had not been already said and heard in numberless homes that night. Whatever thoughts I had which in any way differed from those generally expressed, I kept to myself,—whether guided by discretion³⁸ or pride, I cannot say; probably by both, for I am not deficient³⁹ in either quality.

 

Arrangements had already been made for the burial of Mrs. Van Burnam that night, and as the funeral[Pg 169] ceremony was to take place next door, many of my guests came just to sit in my windows and watch the coming and going of the few people invited to the ceremony.

 

But I discouraged this. I have no patience with idle curiosity. Consequently by nine I was left alone to give the affair such real attention as it demanded; something which, of course, I could not have done with a half dozen gossiping friends leaning over my shoulder.

1 fathomed   

理解…的真意( fathom的过去式和过去分词 )； 彻底了解； 弄清真相

参考例句：

• I have not yet quite fathomed her meaning. 我当时还没有完全揣摸出她是什么意思。
• Have you fathomed out how to work the video yet? 你弄清楚如何操作录像机了吗？

2 testimony   

n.证词；见证，证明

参考例句：

• The testimony given by him is dubious.他所作的证据是可疑的。
• He was called in to bear testimony to what the police officer said.他被传入为警官所说的话作证。

3 judgment   

n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见

参考例句：

• The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
• He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。

4 judgments   

判断( judgment的名词复数 )； 鉴定； 评价； 审判

参考例句：

• A peculiar austerity marked his judgments of modern life. 他对现代生活的批评带着一种特殊的苛刻。
• He is swift with his judgments. 他判断迅速。

5 subscribe   

vi.(to)订阅，订购；同意；vt.捐助，赞助

参考例句：

• I heartily subscribe to that sentiment.我十分赞同那个观点。
• The magazine is trying to get more readers to subscribe.该杂志正大力发展新订户。

6 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

7 awakened   

v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到

参考例句：

• She awakened to the sound of birds singing. 她醒来听到鸟的叫声。
• The public has been awakened to the full horror of the situation. 公众完全意识到了这一状况的可怕程度。 来自《简明英汉词典》

8 virtue   

n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力

参考例句：

• He was considered to be a paragon of virtue.他被认为是品德尽善尽美的典范。
• You need to decorate your mind with virtue.你应该用德行美化心灵。

9 folly   

n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话

参考例句：

• Learn wisdom by the folly of others.从别人的愚蠢行动中学到智慧。
• Events proved the folly of such calculations.事情的进展证明了这种估计是愚蠢的。

10 condemn   

vt.谴责，指责；宣判(罪犯)，判刑

参考例句：

• Some praise him,whereas others condemn him.有些人赞扬他，而有些人谴责他。
• We mustn't condemn him on mere suppositions.我们不可全凭臆测来指责他。

11 utterly   

adv.完全地，绝对地

参考例句：

• Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民，把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
• I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。

12 justified   

a.正当的，有理的

参考例句：

• She felt fully justified in asking for her money back. 她认为有充分的理由要求退款。
• The prisoner has certainly justified his claims by his actions. 那个囚犯确实已用自己的行动表明他的要求是正当的。

13 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

14 phenomena   

n.现象

参考例句：

• Ade couldn't relate the phenomena with any theory he knew.艾德无法用他所知道的任何理论来解释这种现象。
• The object of these experiments was to find the connection,if any,between the two phenomena.这些实验的目的就是探索这两种现象之间的联系，如果存在着任何联系的话。

15 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

16 futility   

n.无用

参考例句：

• She could see the utter futility of trying to protest. 她明白抗议是完全无用的。
• The sheer futility of it all exasperates her. 它毫无用处，这让她很生气。

17 peculiar   

adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的

参考例句：

• He walks in a peculiar fashion.他走路的样子很奇特。
• He looked at me with a very peculiar expression.他用一种很奇怪的表情看着我。

18 scribbled   

v.潦草的书写( scribble的过去式和过去分词 )；乱画；草草地写；匆匆记下

参考例句：

• She scribbled his phone number on a scrap of paper. 她把他的电话号码匆匆写在一张小纸片上。
• He scribbled a note to his sister before leaving. 临行前，他给妹妹草草写了一封短信。

19 transcribe   

v.抄写，誉写；改编(乐曲)；复制，转录

参考例句：

• We need volunteers to transcribe this manuscript.我们需要自愿者来抄写这个文稿。
• I am able to take dictation in English and transcribe them rapidly into Chinese.我会英文记录，还能立即将其改写成中文。

20 recollect   

v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得

参考例句：

• He tried to recollect things and drown himself in them.他极力回想过去的事情而沉浸于回忆之中。
• She could not recollect being there.她回想不起曾经到过那儿。

21 transcribed   

（用不同的录音手段）转录( transcribe的过去式和过去分词 )； 改编（乐曲）（以适应他种乐器或声部）； 抄写； 用音标标出（声音）

参考例句：

• He transcribed two paragraphs from the book into his notebook. 他把书中的两段抄在笔记本上。
• Every telephone conversation will be recorded and transcribed. 所有电话交谈都将被录音并作全文转写。

22 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

23 queries   

n.问题( query的名词复数 )；疑问；询问；问号v.质疑，对…表示疑问( query的第三人称单数 )；询问

参考例句：

• Our assistants will be happy to answer your queries. 我们的助理很乐意回答诸位的问题。
• Her queries were rhetorical,and best ignored. 她的质问只不过是说说而已，最好不予理睬。 来自《简明英汉词典》

24 precluded   

v.阻止( preclude的过去式和过去分词 )；排除；妨碍；使…行不通

参考例句：

• Abdication is precluded by the lack of a possible successor. 因为没有可能的继承人，让位无法实现。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The bad weather precluded me from attending the meeting. 恶劣的天气使我不能出席会议。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

25 manliness   

刚毅

参考例句：

• She was really fond of his strength, his wholesome looks, his manliness. 她真喜欢他的坚强，他那健康的容貌，他的男子气概。
• His confidence, his manliness and bravery, turn his wit into wisdom. 他的自信、男子气概和勇敢将他的风趣变为智慧。

26 repelling   

v.击退( repel的现在分词 )；使厌恶；排斥；推开

参考例句：

• He saw himself standing up and repelling a charge. 他仿佛看见自己挺身而起，打退了敌人的进攻。 来自辞典例句
• Promote the healthy entertainment styles. Repelling the superstition, gambling, drugs and obscenity. 提倡健康娱乐。抵制封建迷信活动，拒绝黄、赌、毒。 来自互联网

27 inquiry   

n.打听，询问，调查，查问

参考例句：

• Many parents have been pressing for an inquiry into the problem.许多家长迫切要求调查这个问题。
• The field of inquiry has narrowed down to five persons.调查的范围已经缩小到只剩5个人了。

28 cape   

n.海角，岬；披肩，短披风

参考例句：

• I long for a trip to the Cape of Good Hope.我渴望到好望角去旅行。
• She was wearing a cape over her dress.她在外套上披着一件披肩。

29 parlors   

客厅( parlor的名词复数 )； 起居室； （旅馆中的）休息室； （通常用来构成合成词）店

参考例句：

• It had been a firm specializing in funeral parlors and parking lots. 它曾经是一个专门经营殡仪馆和停车场的公司。
• I walked, my eyes focused into the endless succession of barbershops, beauty parlors, confectioneries. 我走着，眼睛注视着那看不到头的、鳞次栉比的理发店、美容院、糖果店。

30 investigation   

n.调查，调查研究

参考例句：

• In an investigation,a new fact became known, which told against him.在调查中新发现了一件对他不利的事实。
• He drew the conclusion by building on his own investigation.他根据自己的调查研究作出结论。

31 prospect   

n.前景，前途；景色，视野

参考例句：

• This state of things holds out a cheerful prospect.事态呈现出可喜的前景。
• The prospect became more evident.前景变得更加明朗了。

32 obstinately   

ad.固执地，顽固地

参考例句：

• He obstinately asserted that he had done the right thing. 他硬说他做得对。
• Unemployment figures are remaining obstinately high. 失业数字仍然顽固地居高不下。

33 alterations   

n.改动( alteration的名词复数 )；更改；变化；改变

参考例句：

• Any alterations should be written in neatly to the left side. 改动部分应书写清晰，插在正文的左侧。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Gene mutations are alterations in the DNA code. 基因突变是指DNA 密码的改变。 来自《简明英汉词典》

34 inevitable   

adj.不可避免的，必然发生的

参考例句：

• Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。
• The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。

35 momentary   

adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的

参考例句：

• We are in momentary expectation of the arrival of you.我们无时无刻不在盼望你的到来。
• I caught a momentary glimpse of them.我瞥了他们一眼。

36 dictates   

n.命令，规定，要求( dictate的名词复数 )v.大声讲或读( dictate的第三人称单数 )；口授；支配；摆布

参考例句：

• Convention dictates that a minister should resign in such a situation. 依照常规部长在这种情况下应该辞职。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He always follows the dictates of common sense. 他总是按常识行事。 来自《简明英汉词典》

37 smitten   

猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去分词 )

参考例句：

• From the moment they met, he was completely smitten by her. 从一见面的那一刻起，他就完全被她迷住了。
• It was easy to see why she was smitten with him. 她很容易看出为何她为他倾倒。

38 discretion   

n.谨慎；随意处理

参考例句：

• You must show discretion in choosing your friend.你择友时必须慎重。
• Please use your best discretion to handle the matter.请慎重处理此事。

39 deficient   

adj.不足的，不充份的，有缺陷的

参考例句：

• The crops are suffering from deficient rain.庄稼因雨量不足而遭受损害。
• I always have been deficient in selfconfidence and decision.我向来缺乏自信和果断。