“EEVERYBODY has sympathy with my sister,” was what Winnie had said; and perhaps that was the hardest thing of all to bear. She was like the respectable son who came in disgusted into the midst of a merry-making all consecrated1 to the return of his disreputable prodigal2 brother. What did the fellow mean by coming home? Why did not he stay where he was, and fill his belly3 with the husks? If Mary had but been left to her young sister’s sympathy, Winnie would (or thought she would) have lavished4 tenderness upon her. But the fact was, that it was very very hard to think how the days were passing by, and how perhaps all the precious evenings which remained might be cut off for ever, and its fairest prospect5 taken from her life, by Aunt Agatha’s complaisance6 to Mary. It was true that it was Captain Percival’s visit that Winnie was thinking of. Perhaps it was a little unmaidenly of her to own as much even to herself. It was a thing which Aunt Agatha would have died sooner than do, and which even Mary could not have been guilty of; but then girls now are brought up so differently. He might find himself shut out from the house, and might think the “family affliction” only a pretence7, and might go away and make an end of it for ever—and Winnie was self-willed and passionate8, and felt she must move heaven and earth sooner than let this be so. It seemed to her as if the happiness of her life hung upon it, and she could not but think, being young and fond of poetry, of the many instances in books in which the magical moment was thus lost, and two lives made miserable9. And how could it harm Mary to see a strange face or two about; she who had had the fortitude10 to come home all the way from India, and had survived, and was in sufficiently11 good health after her grief, which of itself was a thing for which the critic of eighteen was disposed to despise a woman?
As she brooded over this at night in her own room with the window open, and her long hair streaming over her shoulders like a romantic heroine, and the young moonlight whitening over the trees, turrets12, and windows of the Hall, a wild impatience13 of all the restrictions14 which were at that moment pressing upon her came upon Winnie. She had been very bright and pleasant with the little boys in the garden; which was partly because her heart melted towards the helpless children who were her own flesh and blood, and partly because at that time nothing had occurred to thwart15 or vex16 her; but from the moment when she had seen Sir Edward’s window suddenly gleam into the twilight17 matters had changed. Then Winnie had perceived that the event which had been the central point of her daily life for some time back, the visit of Sir Edward and his “young friend,” was not going to happen. It was the first time it had occurred to her that Mary’s arrival was in any way to limit or transform her own existence; and her pride, her independence, her self-love and self-will were all immediately in arms. She, who had a little scorned her sister for the faculty18 of surviving, and for the steadiness with which she bore her burden, now asked herself indignantly, if Mary wanted to devote herself to her grief why she did not go into some seclusion19 to do it, instead of imposing20 penance21 upon other people? And what harm could it possibly have done Mary to see some one wandering in the garden by Winnie’s side whose presence made the world complete, and left no more to be desired in it? or to look at poor Sir Edward talking to Aunt Agatha, who took an innocent pleasure in his talk? what harm could all this do to the ogress in the widow’s cap who had come to trample22 on the happiness of the cottage? What pleasure could it be to her to turn the innocent old man, and the charming young one, away from the little flowery bower23 which they were so fond of?—for to be sure it did not occur to Winnie that Mrs. Ochterlony had nothing to do with it, and that it was of his own will and pleasure that Sir Edward had stayed away. Such were the thoughts which ran riot in the girl’s mind while she stood in the moonlight at the open window. There was no balcony to go forth24 upon, and these were not sweet musings like Juliet’s, but fiery25 discontented thoughts. Winnie did not mean to let her happiness slip by. She thought it was her happiness, and she was imperious and self-willed, and determined26 not to let her chance be stolen from her, as so many people do. As for Mary she had had her day. Let her be twenty times a widow, she had once been wooed, and had tasted all the delights of youth, and nobody had interfered27 with her—and Winnie too had made up her mind to have her day. Such a process of thinking could never, as has been already said, have gone through the minds of either of the other women in the cottage; but Winnie was a girl of the nineteenth century, in which young ladies are brought up differently—and she meant to have her rights, and the day of her delight, and all the privileges of her youth, whatever anybody might say.
As for Aunt Agatha on the other side, she too was making up her mind. She would have cut herself up in little pieces to please her darling, but she could not relinquish28 those rules of propriety29 which were dearer than herself—she was making up her mind to the struggle with tears and a kind of despair. It was a heartrending prospect, and she did not know how she could live without the light of her pretty Winnie’s countenance30, and see her looking sulky and miserable as she had done that night. But still in consideration of what was right, Miss Seton felt that she must and could bear anything. To expect a family in mourning, and who had just received a widow into their house, to see visitors, was an inhuman31 idea; and Aunt Agatha would have felt herself deeply humiliated32 could she really have supposed that anybody thought her capable of such a dereliction of duty. But she cried a little as she considered the awful results of her decision. Winnie, disappointed, sullen33, and wretched, roused to rebellion, and taking no pleasure in her life, was a terrible picture to contemplate34. Aunt Agatha felt that all the pleasure of her own existence was over, and cried a few salt tears over the sacrifice; but she knew her duty, and at least there was, or ought to be, a certain comfort in that.
Sir Edward came next day to pay a solemn visit at the cottage, and it gave her a momentary35 gleam of comfort to feel that this was the course of conduct which he at least expected of her. He came, and his “young friend” came with him, and for the moment smiles and contentment came back to the household. Sir Edward entered the drawing-room and shook hands tenderly with Mrs. Ochterlony, and sat down beside her, and began to talk as only an old friend could; but the young friend stayed in the garden with Winnie, and the sound of their voices came in now and then along with the songs of the birds and the fragrance36 of the flowers—all nature conspiring37 as usual to throw a charm about the young creatures, who apart from this charm did not make the loveliest feature in the social landscape. Sir Edward, on the other hand, sat down as a man sits down in a room where there is a seat which is known as his, and where he is in the way of doing a great deal of pleasant talk most days of his life. This was a special occasion, and he behaved himself accordingly. He patted Mary’s hand softly with one of his, and held it in the other, and looked at her with that tender curiosity and inquiry38 which comes natural after a long absence. “She is changed, but I can see our old Mary still in her face,” said the old man, patting her hand; and then he asked about the journey, and if he should see the children; and then the ordinary talk began.
“We did not come last evening, knowing you expected Mary,” Sir Edward said, “and a most unpleasant companion I had all the night in consequence. Young people will be young people, you know—indeed, I never can help remembering, that just the other day I was young myself.”
“Yes,” said Aunt Agatha, faltering39; “but you see under the circumstances, Sir Edward, Winnie could not expect that her sister——”
“Dear aunt,” said Mary, “I have already begged you to make no difference for me.”
“I am sure, my love, you are very kind,” said Aunt Agatha; “you always were the most unselfish—— But I hope I know my duty, whatever your good heart may induce you to say.”
“And I hope, after a while,” said Sir Edward, “that Mary too will be pleased to see her friends. We are all friends here, and everybody I know will be glad to welcome her home.”
Most likely it was those very words that made Mary feel faint and ill, and unable to reply. But though she did not say anything, she at least made no sort of objection to the hope; and immediately the pleasant little stream of talk gushed40 up and ran past her as she knew it would. The two old people talked of the two young ones who were so interesting to them, and all that was special in Sir Edward’s visit came to a close.
“Young Percival is to leave me next week,” Sir Edward said. “I shall miss him sadly, and I am afraid it will cost him a heartache to go.”
Aunt Agatha knew so well what her friend meant that she felt herself called upon to look as if she did not know. “Ah,” she said, “I don’t wonder. It is not often that he will find such a friend as you have been, Sir Edward: and to leave you, who are always such pleasant company——”
“My dear Miss Seton,” said Sir Edward, with a gentle laugh, “you don’t suppose that I expect him to have a heartache for love of me? He is a nice young fellow, and I am sorry to lose him; but if it were only my pleasant company——”
Then Aunt Agatha blushed as if it had been herself who was young Percival’s attraction. “We shall all miss him, I am sure,” she said. “He is so delicate and considerate. He has not come in, thinking no doubt that Mary is not equal to seeing strangers; but I am so anxious that Mary should see him—that is, I like her to know our friends,” said the imprudent woman, correcting herself, and once more blushing crimson41, as if young Percival had been a lover of her very own.
“He is a very nice fellow,” said Sir Edward; “most people like him; but I don’t know that I should have thought of describing him as considerate or delicate. Mary must not form too high an idea. He is just a young man like other young men,” said the impartial42 baronet, “and likes his own way, and is not without a proper regard for his own interest. He is not in the least a hero of romance.”
“I don’t think he is at all mercenary, Sir Edward, if that is what you mean,” said Aunt Agatha, blushing no longer, but growing seriously red.
“Mercenary!” said Sir Edward. “I don’t think I ever dreamt of that. He is like other young men, you know. I don’t want Mary to form too high an idea. But one thing I am sure of is that he is very sorry to go away.”
And then a little pause happened, which was trying to Aunt Agatha, and in the interval43 the voices of the two young people in the garden sounded pleasantly from outside. Sitting thus within hearing of them, it was difficult to turn to any other subject; but yet Miss Seton would not confess that she could by any possibility understand what her old neighbour meant; and by way of escaping from that embarrassment44 plunged45 without thought into another in which she floundered helplessly after the first dash.
“Mary has just come from Earlston,” she said. “It has grown quite a museum, do you know?—every sort of beautiful thing, and all so nicely arranged. Francis—Mr. Ochterlony,” said Aunt Agatha, in confusion, “had always a great deal of taste—— Perhaps you may remember——”
“Oh, yes, I remember,” said Sir Edward—“such things are not easily forgotten—but I hope you don’t mean to suppose that Percival——”
“I was thinking nothing about Captain Percival,” Miss Seton said, feeling ready to cry—“What I meant was, I thought—I supposed you might have some interest—I thought you might like to know——”
“Oh, if that is all,” said Sir Edward, “of course I take a great interest—but I thought you meant something of the same kind might be going on here. You must never think of that. I would never forgive myself if I were twice to be the occasion——”
“I was thinking nothing about Captain Percival,” said Aunt Agatha, with tears of vexation in her eyes; “nor—nor anything else—I was talking for the sake of conversation: I was thinking perhaps you might like to hear——”
“May I show you my boys, Sir Edward?” said Mary, ringing the bell—“I should like you to see them; and I am going to ask you, by-and-by, what I must do with them. My brother-in-law is very much a recluse—I should be glad to have the advice of somebody who knows more of the world.”
“Ah, yes, let us see the boys,” said Sir Edward. “All boys are they?—that’s a pity. You shall have the best advice I can give you, my dear Mary—and if you are not satisfied with that, you shall have better advice than mine; there is nothing so important as education; come along, little ones. So these are all?—three—I thought you had more than three. Ah, I beg your pardon. How do you do, my little man? I am your mamma’s old friend—I knew her long before you were born—come and tell me your name.”
And while Sir Edward got at these particulars, and took the baby on his knee, and made himself agreeable to the two sturdy little heroes who stood by, and stared at him, Aunt Agatha came round behind their backs, and gave Mary a quiet kiss—half by way of consolation46, half by way of thanks—for, but for that happy inspiration of sending for the children, there was no telling what bog47 of unfortunate talk Miss Seton might not have tumbled into. Sir Edward was one of those men who know much, too much, about everybody—everything, he himself thought. He could detect allusions48 in the most careless conversation, and never forgot anything even when it was expedient49 and better that it should be forgotten. He was a man who had been unlucky in his youth, and who now, in his old age, though he was as well off as a man living all alone, in forlorn celibacy50, could be, was always called poor Sir Edward. The very cottagers called him so, who might well have looked upon his life as a kind of paradise; and being thus recognised as an object of pity, Sir Edward had on the whole a very pleasant life. He knew all about everybody, and was apt at times to confuse his neighbours sadly, as he had just done Aunt Agatha, by a reference to the most private bits of their individual history; but it was never done with ill-nature—and after all there is a charm about a person who knows everything about everybody. He was a man who could have told you all about the Gretna Green marriage, which had cost poor Major Ochterlony so much trouble, as well, or perhaps even better, than if he had been present at it; and he was favourable51 to marriages in general, though he had never himself made the experience, and rather liked to preside over a budding inclination52 like that between Winifred Seton and young Percival. He took little Wilfrid on his knee when the children were thus brought upon the scene, in a fatherly, almost grand-fatherly way, and was quite ready to go into Mary’s plans about them. He thought it was quite right, and the most suitable thing she could do, to settle somewhere where there was a good grammar-school; and he had already begun to calculate where the best grammar-schools were situated53, and which would be the best plan for Mrs. Ochterlony, when the voices in the garden were heard approaching. Aunt Agatha had escaped from her embarrassment by going out to the young people, and was now bringing them in to present the young man for Mary’s approval and criticism. Miss Seton came first, and there was anxiety in her face; and after her Winnie stepped in at the window, with a little flush upon her pretty cheek, and an unusual light in her eye; and after her—but at that moment the whole party were startled by a sudden sound of surprise, the momentary falling back of the stranger’s foot from the step, and a surprised, half-suppressed exclamation54. “Oh!—Mrs. Ochterlony!” exclaimed Sir Edward’s young friend. As it happened all the rest were silent at that moment, and his voice was distinctly audible, though perhaps he had not meant it to be so. He himself was half hidden by the roses which clambered all over the cottage, but Mary naturally turned round, and turned her face to the window, when she heard her own name—as indeed they all did—surprised at the exclamation, and still more at the tone. And it was thus under the steady gaze of four pairs of eyes that Captain Percival came into the room. Perhaps but for that exclamation Mary might not have recognised him; but her ear had been trained to quick understanding of that inflection, half of amusement, half of contempt, which she had not heard for so long. To her ears it meant, “Oh, Mrs. Ochterlony!—she who was married over again, as people pretended—she who took in the Kirkmans, and all the people at the station.” Captain Percival came in, and he felt his blood run cold as he met all those astonished eyes, and found Mary looking so intently at him. What had he done that they should all stare at him like that? for he was not so well aware of what he had given utterance55 to, nor of his tone in giving utterance to it, as they were. “Good heavens, what is the matter?” he said; “you all look at me as if I were a monster. Miss Seton, may I ask you to introduce me——”
“We have met before, I think,” Mary said, quietly. “When I heard of Captain Percival I did not know it was the same I used to hear so much about in India. I think, when I saw you last, it was at——”
She wanted by sudden instinct to say it out and set herself right for ever and ever, here where everything about her was known; but the words seemed to choke her. In spite of herself she stopped short; how could she refer to that, the only great grievance56 in her life, her husband’s one great wrong against her, now that he was in his grave, and she left in the world the defender57 and champion of all his acts and ways? She could not do it—she was obliged to stop short in the middle, and swallow the sob58 that would have choked her with the next word. And they stood all gazing at her, wondering what it was.
“Yes,” said the young man, with a confidential59 air—“I remember it very well indeed—I heard all about it from Askell, you know;—but I never imagined, when I heard you talking of your sister, that it was the same Mrs. Ochterlony,” he added, turning to Winnie, who was looking on with great and sudden interest. And then there was a pause—such a pause as occurs sometimes when there is an evident want of explanation somewhere, and all present feel that they are on the borders of a mystery. Somehow it changed the character of the assembled company. A few minutes before it had been the sad stranger, in her widow’s cap, who was the centre of all, and to whom the visitors had to be presented in a half apologetic way, as if to a queen. Aunt Agatha, indeed, had been quite anxious on the subject, pondering how she could best bring Sir Edward’s young friend, Winnie’s admirer, under Mrs. Ochterlony’s observation, and have her opinion of him; and now in an instant the situation was reversed, and it was Mary and Captain Percival alone who seemed to know each other, and to have recollections in common! Mary felt her cheeks flush in spite of herself, and Winnie grew pale with incipient60 jealousy61 and dismay, and Aunt Agatha fluttered about in a state of the wildest anxiety. At last both she and Sir Edward burst out talking at the same moment, with the same visible impulse. And they brought the children into the foreground, and lured62 them into the utterance of much baby nonsense, and even went so far as to foster a rising quarrel between Hugh and Islay, all to cover up from each other’s eyes and smother63 in the bud this mystery, if it was a mystery. It was a singular disturbance64 to bring into such a quiet house; for how could the people who dwelt at home tell what those two strangers might have known about each other in India, how they might have been connected, or what secret might lie between them?—no more than people could tell in a cosy65 sheltered curtained room what might be going on at sea, or even on the dark road outside. And here there was the same sense of insecurity—the same distrust and fear. Winnie stood a little apart, pale, and with her delicate curved nostril66 a little dilated67. Captain Percival was younger than Mary, and Mary up to this moment had been hedged round with a certain sanctity, even in the eyes of her discontented young sister. But there was some intelligence between them, something known to those two which was known to no one else in the party. This was enough to set off the thoughts of a self-willed girl, upon whose path Mary had thrown the first shadow, wildly into all kinds of suspicions. And to tell the truth, the elder people, who should have known better, were not much wiser than Winnie. Thus, while Hugh and Islay had a momentary struggle in the foreground, which called for their mother’s active interference, the one ominous68 cloud of her existence once more floated up upon the dim firmament69 over Mary’s head; though if she had but finished her sentence it would have been no cloud at all, and might never have come to anything there or thereafter. But this did not occur to Mrs. Ochterlony. What did occur to her in her vexation and pain was that her dead Hugh would be hardly dealt with among her kindred, if the stranger should tell her story. And she was glad, heartily70 glad, that there was little conversation afterwards, and that very soon the two visitors went away. But it was she who was the last to be aware that a certain doubt, a new and painful element of uncertainty71 stayed behind them in Aunt Agatha’s pretty cottage after they were gone.
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1
consecrated
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| adj.神圣的，被视为神圣的v.把…奉为神圣，给…祝圣( consecrate的过去式和过去分词 )；奉献 | |
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2
prodigal
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| adj.浪费的，挥霍的，放荡的 | |
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3
belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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lavished
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| v.过分给予，滥施( lavish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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5
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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6
complaisance
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| n.彬彬有礼，殷勤，柔顺 | |
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7
pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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8
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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9
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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fortitude
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| n.坚忍不拔；刚毅 | |
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11
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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12
turrets
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| （六角）转台( turret的名词复数 )； （战舰和坦克等上的）转动炮塔； （摄影机等上的）镜头转台； （旧时攻城用的）塔车 | |
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13
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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14
restrictions
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| 约束( restriction的名词复数 )； 管制； 制约因素； 带限制性的条件（或规则） | |
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15
thwart
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| v.阻挠，妨碍，反对；adj.横(断的) | |
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16
vex
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| vt.使烦恼，使苦恼 | |
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17
twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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penance
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| n.（赎罪的）惩罪 | |
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22
trample
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| vt.踩，践踏；无视，伤害，侵犯 | |
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bower
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| n.凉亭，树荫下凉快之处；闺房；v.荫蔽 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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26
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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28
relinquish
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| v.放弃，撤回，让与，放手 | |
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29
propriety
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| n.正当行为；正当；适当 | |
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30
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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31
inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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32
humiliated
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| 感到羞愧的 | |
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sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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35
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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36
fragrance
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| n.芬芳，香味，香气 | |
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37
conspiring
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| 密谋( conspire的现在分词 )； 搞阴谋； （事件等）巧合； 共同导致 | |
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38
inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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39
faltering
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| 犹豫的，支吾的，蹒跚的 | |
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40
gushed
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| v.喷，涌( gush的过去式和过去分词 )；滔滔不绝地说话 | |
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41
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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42
impartial
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| adj.(in,to)公正的，无偏见的 | |
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43
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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44
embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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45
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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46
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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bog
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| n.沼泽；室...陷入泥淖 | |
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allusions
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| 暗指，间接提到( allusion的名词复数 ) | |
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expedient
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| adj.有用的，有利的；n.紧急的办法，权宜之计 | |
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celibacy
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| n.独身(主义) | |
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favourable
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| adj.赞成的，称赞的，有利的，良好的，顺利的 | |
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inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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situated
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| adj.坐落在...的，处于某种境地的 | |
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exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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utterance
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| n.用言语表达，话语，言语 | |
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grievance
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| n.怨愤，气恼，委屈 | |
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defender
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| n.保卫者，拥护者，辩护人 | |
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sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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confidential
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| adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的 | |
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incipient
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| adj.起初的，发端的，初期的 | |
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jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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lured
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| 吸引，引诱（lure的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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smother
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| vt./vi.使窒息；抑制；闷死；n.浓烟；窒息 | |
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disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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cosy
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| adj.温暖而舒适的，安逸的 | |
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nostril
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| n.鼻孔 | |
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dilated
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| adj.加宽的，扩大的v.（使某物）扩大，膨胀，张大( dilate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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firmament
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| n.苍穹；最高层 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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