Late in the night the Yanktonnais drums still sounded, long after a dozen Sioux had spoken, and after the two white chieftains had arisen and left the council fire. The people of the village were feasting around half a hundred fires. The village was joyous2, light-hearted, and free of care. The hunt had been successful.
“Look at them, Will,” said Meriwether Lewis, as they paused at the edge of the bluff3 and turned back for a last glimpse at the savage4 scene. “They are like children. I swear, I almost believe their lot in life is happier than our own!”
“Tut, tut, Merne—moralizing again?” laughed William Clark, the light-hearted. “Come now, help me get my eelskin about my hair. We may need this red mane of mine further up the river. I trust to take it back home with me, after all, now that we seem safe to pass these Sioux without a fight. I am happy enough that our business today has come out so well. I am a bit tired, and an old bull gave me a smash with his horn this morning; so I am ready to turn into my blankets. Are all the men on the roll tonight?”
[Pg 183]
“Sergeant Ordway reports Shannon still absent. It seems he went out on the hunt this morning, and has not yet come back. I’ll wait up a time, I think, Will, to see if he comes in. It is rather a wild business for a boy to lie out all night in such a country, with only the wolves for company. Go you to your blankets, as you say. For me, I might be a better sleeper5 than I am.”
“Yes, that is true,” rejoined Will Clark, rubbing his bruised6 leg. “It is beginning to show on you, too, Merne. Isn’t it enough to be astronomer7 and doctor and bookkeeper and record-keeper and all that? No, you think not—you must sit up all night by your little fire under the stars and think and think. Oh, I have seen you, Merne! I have seen you sitting there when you should have been sleeping. Do you call that leadership, Captain Lewis? The men are under you, and if the leader is not fit, the men are not. Now, a human body will stand only so much—or a human mind, either, Merne. There is a limit to effort and endurance.”
His friend turned to him seriously.
“You are right, Will,” said he. “I owe duty to many besides myself.”
“You take things too hard, Merne. You cannot carry the whole world on your shoulders. Look now, I have not been so blind as not to see that something is going wrong with you. Merne, you are ill, or will be. Something is wrong!”
His companion made no reply. They marched on to their own part of the encampment, and seated themselves [Pg 184]at the little fire which had been left burning for them.[4]
William Clark went on with his reproving.
[Pg 185]
“Tell me, Merne, what are you thinking of? It is not that woman?”
He seemed to feel the sudden shrinking of the tall figure at his side.
“I have touched you on the raw once more, haven’t I, Merne?” he exclaimed. “I never meant to. I only want to see you happy.”
“You must not be too uneasy, Will,” returned Meriwether Lewis, at last. “It is only that sometimes at night I lie awake and ponder over things. And the nights themselves are wonderful!”
“Saw you ever such nights, Merne, in all your life? Breathed you ever such air as these plains carry in the nighttime? Why do you not exult—what is it you cannot forget? You don’t really deceive me, Merne. What is it that you see when you lie awake at night under the stars? Some face, eh? What, Merne? You mean to tell me you are still so foolish? We left three months ago. I gave you two months for forgetting her—and that is enough! Come, now, perhaps some maid of the Mandans, on ahead, will prove fair enough to pipe to you, or to touch the bull-hide tambourine8 in such fashion as to charm you from your sorrows! No, don’t be offended—it is only that I want to tell you not to take that old affair too hard. And now, it is time for you to turn in.”
William Clark himself arose and strolled to his own blanket-roll, spread it out, and lay down beneath the sky to sleep. Meriwether Lewis sought to follow his example, and spread open his robe and blankets close to the fire. As he leaned back, he felt something hard [Pg 186]and crackling under his hand, and looked down.
It was his custom to carry in his blankets, for safekeeping, his long spyglass, a pair of dry moccasins and a buckskin tunic9. These articles were here, as he expected to find them. Yet here among them was a folded and sealed envelope—a letter! He had not placed it here; yet here it was.
He caught it up in his hand, looked at it wonderingly, kicked the ends of the embers together so that they flamed up, bent10 forward to read the superscription—and paused in amazement11. Well enough he knew the firm, upright, characterful hand which addressed this missive to him:
TO CAPTAIN MERIWETHER LEWIS.—ON THE TRAIL IN THE WEST.
A feeling somewhat akin12 to awe13 fell upon Meriwether Lewis. He felt a cold prickling along his spine14. It was for him, yes—but whence had it come? There had been no messenger from outside the camp. For one brief instant it seemed, indeed, as if this bit of paper—which of all possible gifts of the gods he would most have coveted—had dropped from the heavens themselves at his feet here in the savage wilderness15. His heart had been on the point of breaking, it seemed to him—and it had come to comfort him! It was from her. It ran thus:
Dear Sir and Friend:
Greetings to you, wherever you may be when this shall find you. Are you among the Gauls, the Goths, the Visigoths, the Huns, the Vandals, or the Cimbri? Wherever you be, [Pg 187]our hopes and faith go with you. You are, as I fancy, in a desert, a wilderness, worth no man’s owning. Life passes meantime. To what end, my friend?
I fancy you in the deluge16, in the hurricane, in the blaze of the sun, or in the bleak17 winds, alone, cheerless, perhaps athirst, perhaps knowing hunger. I know that you will meet these things like a man. But to what end—what is the purpose of all this? You have left behind you all that makes life worth while—fortune, fame, life, ambition, honor—to go away into the desert. At what time are you going to turn back and come to us once more?
Oh, if only I had the right—if only I dared—if only I were in a position to lay some command on you to bring you back! Methinks then I would. You could do so much for us all—so much for me. It would mean so much to my own happiness if you were here.
Meriwether Lewis, come back! You have gone far enough. On ahead are only cruel hardship and continual failure. Here are fortune, fame, wealth, ambition, honor—and more. I told you one time I would lay my hand upon your shoulder out yonder, no matter where you were. I said that you should look into my face yonder when you sat alone beside your fire under the stars. You said that it would be torment18. I said that none the less I would not let you go. I said my face still should stay with you, until you were willing to turn back.
Turn back now, Meriwether Lewis! Come back!
The letter was not signed, and needed not to be. Meriwether Lewis sat staring at the paper clutched in his hand.
Her face! Ah, did he not see it now? Was it not true what she had said? He saw her face now—but not smiling, happy, contented19, as it once had been. No, he saw it pale and in distress20. He saw tears in her eyes. And she had written him:
Oh, if only I had the right to lay some command on you!
[Pg 188]
Was not he, who had forgotten honor, subject now to any command that she might give him?
“Will, Will!” exclaimed Meriwether Lewis, sharply, imperatively21, to his friend, whom he could see dimly at a little distance as he lay.
The long figure in its robes straightened quickly, for by day or night William Clark was instantly ready for any sudden alarm. He started up on his robe, with his hand on his rifle.
“Who calls there? Who goes?” he cried, half awake.
“It is I, Will,” said Meriwether Lewis, advancing toward him. “Listen—tell me, Will, why did you do this?”
“Why did I do what? Merne, what is wrong?”
Clark was now on his feet, and Lewis held out the letter to him. He took it in his hand, looked at it wonderingly.
“This letter——” began Meriwether Lewis. “Certainly you carried it for me—why did you not bring it to me long ago?”
“What letter? Whose letter is it, Merne? I never saw it before. What is it you are saying? Are you mad?”
“I think so,” said Lewis, “I think I must be. Here is a letter—I found it but now in my bed. I thought perhaps you had had it for me a long time, and placed it there as a surprise.”
“Who sends it, Merne. What does it say?”
“It is from the woman whose face I have seen at night, Will. She asks me to come back!”
[Pg 189]
“Burn it—throw it in the fire!” said William Clark sharply. “Go back? What, forsake22 Mr. Jefferson—leave me?”
“God forgive me, Will, but you search my very heart! For one moment I was on the point of declaring myself too ill to finish this journey—on the point of letting you have all the honor of it. I was going to surrender my place to you.”
“You cannot desert us, Merne! You shall not! Go back to bed! Give me the letter! Bah! it is some counterfeit23, some trick of one of the men!”
“It would be worth any man’s life to try a jest like that,” said Meriwether Lewis. “It is no counterfeit. I know it too well. This letter was written before we left St. Louis. How it came here I know not, but I know who wrote it.”
“She had no right——”
“Ah, but that is the cruelty of it—she did have the right!”
“There are some things which a man must work out for himself,” said William Clark slowly, after a time. “I don’t think I’ll ask any questions. If there is any place where I can take half your burden, you know what I will do. We’ve worked share and share alike, but perhaps some things cannot be shared, even by you and me. It is for you to tell me if I can help you now. If not, then you must decide.”
Even as he spoke1, his beloved friend was turning away from him. Meriwether Lewis walked out alone into the night. Stumbling, he passed on out among the shadows, under the starlight. Without much plan, [Pg 190]he found himself on a little eminence24 of the bluff near by.
He sat down, his blanket drawn25 over his head, like an Indian, motionless, thinking, fighting out his own fight, as sometimes a man must, alone. He did not know that William Clark, most faithful of friends, himself silent as a Sioux, had followed, and sat a little distance apart, his eyes fixed26 on the motionless figure outlined against the sky.
The dawn came at last and kindled27 a red band along the east. The gray light at length grew more clear. A coyote on the bluff raised a long and quavering cry, like some soul in torture. As if it were his own voice, Meriwether Lewis stirred, rose, drew back the blanket from his shoulders, and turned down the hill.
He saw his friend rising and advancing to him. Once more their hands gripped, as they had when the two first met on the Ohio, almost a year ago, at the beginning of their journey.
Lewis frowned heavily. He could not speak for a time.
“Give the orders to the men to roll out, Captain Clark,” said he at length.
“Which way, Captain Lewis—upstream or down?”
“The expedition will go forward, Captain Clark.”
“God bless you, Merne!” said the red-headed one.
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1
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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2
joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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3
bluff
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| v.虚张声势，用假象骗人；n.虚张声势，欺骗 | |
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4
savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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5
sleeper
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| n.睡眠者，卧车，卧铺 | |
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6
bruised
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| [医]青肿的，瘀紫的 | |
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7
astronomer
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| n.天文学家 | |
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8
tambourine
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| n.铃鼓，手鼓 | |
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9
tunic
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| n.束腰外衣 | |
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10
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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11
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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12
akin
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| adj.同族的，类似的 | |
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13
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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14
spine
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| n.脊柱，脊椎；(动植物的)刺；书脊 | |
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15
wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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16
deluge
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| n./vt.洪水，暴雨，使泛滥 | |
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17
bleak
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| adj.(天气)阴冷的；凄凉的；暗淡的 | |
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18
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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19
contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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20
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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21
imperatively
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| adv.命令式地 | |
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22
forsake
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| vt.遗弃，抛弃；舍弃，放弃 | |
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23
counterfeit
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| vt.伪造，仿造；adj.伪造的，假冒的 | |
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24
eminence
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| n.卓越，显赫；高地，高处；名家 | |
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25
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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26
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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27
kindled
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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