CHAPTER II

 On the Bench that morning Sir Jee shocked Mr Sherratt, the magistrates²' clerk, and he utterly³ disgusted Mr Bourne, superintendent⁴ of the borough⁵ police. (I do not intend to name the name of the borough—whether Bursley, Hanbridge, Knype, Longshaw, or Turnhill. The inhabitants of the Five Towns will know without being told; the rest of the world has no right to know.) There had recently occurred a somewhat thrilling series of burglaries in the district, and the burglars (a gang of them was presumed) had escaped the solicitous⁶ attentions of the police. But on the previous afternoon an underling of Mr Bourne's had caught a man who was generally believed to be wholly or partly responsible for the burglaries. The Five Towns breathed with relief and congratulated Mr Bourne; and Mr Bourne was well pleased with himself. The Staffordshire Signal headed the item of news, 'Smart Capture of a Supposed Burglar'. The supposed burglar gave his name as William Smith, and otherwise behaved in an extremely suspicious manner.

 

Now, Sir Jee, sitting as chief magistrate¹ in the police-court, actually dismissed the charge against the man! Overruling his sole colleague on the Bench that morning, Alderman Easton, he dismissed the charge against William Smith, holding that the evidence for the prosecution⁷ was insufficient⁸ to justify⁹ even a remand. No wonder that Mr Bourne was discouraged, not to say angry. No wonder that that pillar of the law, Mr Sherratt, was pained and shocked. At the conclusion of the case Sir Jehoshaphat said that he would be glad to speak with William Smith afterwards in the magistrates' room, indicating that he sympathized with William Smith, and wished to exercise upon William Smith his renowned¹⁰ philanthropy.

 

And so, at about noon, when the Court majestically¹¹ rose, Sir Jee retired¹² to the magistrates' room, where the humble¹³ Alderman Easton was discreet¹⁴ enough not to follow him, and awaited William Smith. And William Smith came, guided thither¹⁵ by a policeman, to whom, in parting from him, he made a rude, surreptitious gesture.

 

Sir Jee, seated in the arm-chair which dominates the other chairs round the elm table in the magistrates' room, emitted a preliminary cough.

 

'Smith,' he said sternly, leaning his elbows on the table, 'you were very fortunate this morning, you know.'

 

And he gazed at Smith.

 

Smith stood near the door, cap in hand. He did not resemble a burglar, who surely ought to be big, muscular, and masterful. He resembled an undersized clerk who has been out of work for a long time, but who has nevertheless found the means to eat and drink rather plenteously. He was clothed in a very shabby navy-blue suit, frayed¹⁶ at the wrists and ankles, and greasy¹⁷ in front. His linen¹⁸ collar was brown with dirt, his fingers were dirty, his hair was unkempt and long, and a young and lusty black beard was sprouting¹⁹ on his chin. His boots were not at all pleasant.

 

'Yes, governor,' Smith replied, lightly, with a Manchester accent. 'And what's YOUR game?'

 

Sir Jee was taken aback. He, the chairman of the borough Bench, and the leading philanthropist in the country, to be so spoken to! But what could he do? He himself had legally established Smith's innocence²⁰. Smith was as free as air, and had a perfect right to adopt any tone he chose to any man he chose. And Sir Jee desired a service from William Smith.

 

'I was hoping I might be of use to you,' said Sir Jehoshaphat diplomatically.

 

'Well,' said Smith, 'that's all right, that is. But none of your philanthropic dodges²¹, you know. I don't want to lead a new life, and I don't want to turn over a new leaf, and I don't want a helpin' hand, nor none o' those things. And, what's more, I don't want a situation. I've got all the situation as I need. But I never refuse money, nor beer neither. Never did, and I'm forty years old next month.'

 

'I suppose burgling doesn't pay very well, does it?' Sir Jee boldly ventured.

 

William Smith laughed coarsely.

 

'It pays right enough,' said he. 'But I don't put my money on my back, governor, I put it into a bit of public-house property when I get the chance.'

 

'It may pay,' said Sir Jee. 'But it is wrong. It is very anti-social.'

 

'Is it, indeed?' Smith returned dryly. 'Anti-social, is it? Well, I've heard it called plenty o' things in my time, but never that. Now, I should have called it quite sociablelike, sort of making free with strangers, and so on. However,' he added, 'I come across a cove²² once as told me crime was nothing but a disease and ought to be treated as such. I asked him for a dozen o' port, but he never sent it.'

 

'Ever been caught before?' Sir Jee inquired.

 

'Not much!' Smith exclaimed. 'And this'll be a lesson to me, I can tell you. Now, what are you getting at, governor? Because my time's money, my time is.'

 

Sir Jee coughed once more.

 

'Sit down,' said Sir Jee.

 

And William Smith sat down opposite to him at the table, and put his shiny elbows on the table precisely²³ in the manner of Sir Jee's elbows.

 

'Well?' he cheerfully encouraged Sir Jee.

 

'How would you like to commit a burglary that was not a crime?' said Sir Jee, his shifty eyes wandering around the room. 'A perfectly²⁴ lawful²⁵ burglary?'

 

'What ARE you getting at?' William Smith was genuinely astonished.

 

'At my residence, Sneyd Castle,' Sir Jee proceeded, 'there's a large portrait of myself in the dining-room that I want to have stolen. You understand?'

 

'Stolen?'

 

'Yes. I want to get rid of it. And I want—er—people to think that it has been stolen.'

 

'Well, why don't you stop up one night and steal it yourself, and then burn it?' William Smith suggested.

 

'That would be deceitful,' said Sir Jee, gravely. 'I could not tell my friends that the portrait had been stolen if it had not been stolen. The burglary must be entirely²⁶ genuine.'

 

'What's the figure?' said Smith curtly²⁷.

 

'Figure?'

 

'What are you going to give me for the job?'

 

'GIVE you for doing the job?' Sir Jee repeated, his secret and ineradicable meanness aroused. 'GIVE you? Why, I'm giving you the opportunity to honestly steal a picture that's worth over a thousand pounds—I dare say it would be worth two thousand pounds in America—and you want to be paid into the bargain! Do you know, my man, that people come all the way from Manchester, and even London, to see that portrait?' He told Smith about the painting.

 

'Then why are you in such a stew²⁸ to be rid of it?' queried²⁹ the burglar.

 

'That's my affair,' said Sir Jee. 'I don't like it. Lady Dain doesn't like it. But it's a presentation portrait, and so I can't—you see, Mr Smith?'

 

'And how am I going to dispose of it when I've got it?' Smith demanded. 'You can't melt a portrait down as if it was silver. By what you say, governor, it's known all over the blessed world. Seems to me I might just as well try to sell the Nelson Column.'

 

'Oh, nonsense!' said Sir Jee. 'Nonsense. You'll sell it in America quite easily. It'll be a fortune to you. Keep it for a year first, and then send it to New York.'

 

William Smith shook his head and drummed his fingers on the table; and then quite suddenly he brightened and said—

 

'All right, governor. I'll take it on, just to oblige you.'

 

'When can you do it?' asked Sir Jee, hardly concealing³⁰ his joy. 'Tonight?'

 

'No,' said Smith, mysteriously. 'I'm engaged tonight.'

 

'Well, tomorrow night?'

 

'Nor tomorrow. I'm engaged tomorrow too.'

 

'You seem to be very much engaged, my man,' Sir Jee observed.

 

'What do you expect?' Smith retorted. 'Business is business. I could do it the night after tomorrow.'

 

'But that's Christmas Eve,' Sir Jee protested.

 

'What if it is Christmas Eve?' said Smith coldly. 'Would you prefer Christmas Day? I'm engaged on Boxing Day AND the day after.'

 

'Not in the Five Towns, I trust?' Sir Jee remarked.

 

'No,' said Smith shortly. 'The Five Towns is about sucked dry.'

 

The affair was arranged for Christmas Eve.

 

'Now,' Sir Jee suggested, 'shall I draw you a plan of the castle, so that you can—'

 

William Smith's face expressed terrific scorn. 'Do you suppose,' he said, 'as I haven't had plans o' your castle ever since it was built? What do you take me for? I'm not a blooming excursionist, I'm not. I'm a business man—that's what I am.'

 

Sir Jee was snubbed, and he agreed submissively to all William Smith's arrangements for the innocent burglary. He perceived that in William Smith he had stumbled on a professional of the highest class, and this good fortune pleased him.

 

'There's only one thing that riles me,' said Smith, in parting, 'and that is that you'll go and say that after you'd done everything you could for me I went and burgled your castle. And you'll talk about the ingratitude³¹ of the lower classes. I know you, governor!'

1 magistrate   

n.地方行政官，地方法官，治安官

参考例句：

• The magistrate committed him to prison for a month.法官判处他一个月监禁。
• John was fined 1000 dollars by the magistrate.约翰被地方法官罚款1000美元。

2 magistrates   

地方法官，治安官( magistrate的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• to come up before the magistrates 在地方法院出庭
• He was summoned to appear before the magistrates. 他被传唤在地方法院出庭。

3 utterly   

adv.完全地，绝对地

参考例句：

• Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民，把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
• I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。

4 superintendent   

n.监督人，主管，总监；(英国)警务长

参考例句：

• He was soon promoted to the post of superintendent of Foreign Trade.他很快就被擢升为对外贸易总监。
• He decided to call the superintendent of the building.他决定给楼房管理员打电话。

5 borough   

n.享有自治权的市镇；(英)自治市镇

参考例句：

• He was slated for borough president.他被提名做自治区主席。
• That's what happened to Harry Barritt of London's Bromley borough.住在伦敦的布罗姆利自治市的哈里.巴里特就经历了此事。

6 solicitous   

adj.热切的，挂念的

参考例句：

• He was so solicitous of his guests.他对他的客人们非常关切。
• I am solicitous of his help.我渴得到他的帮助。

7 prosecution   

n.起诉，告发，检举，执行，经营

参考例句：

• The Smiths brought a prosecution against the organizers.史密斯家对组织者们提出起诉。
• He attempts to rebut the assertion made by the prosecution witness.他试图反驳原告方证人所作的断言。

8 insufficient   

adj.(for，of)不足的，不够的

参考例句：

• There was insufficient evidence to convict him.没有足够证据给他定罪。
• In their day scientific knowledge was insufficient to settle the matter.在他们的时代，科学知识还不能足以解决这些问题。

9 justify   

vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护

参考例句：

• He tried to justify his absence with lame excuses.他想用站不住脚的借口为自己的缺席辩解。
• Can you justify your rude behavior to me?你能向我证明你的粗野行为是有道理的吗？

10 renowned   

adj.著名的，有名望的，声誉鹊起的

参考例句：

• He is one of the world's renowned writers.他是世界上知名的作家之一。
• She is renowned for her advocacy of human rights.她以提倡人权而闻名。

11 majestically   

雄伟地； 庄重地； 威严地； 崇高地

参考例句：

• The waters of the Changjiang River rolled to the east on majestically. 雄伟的长江滚滚东流。
• Towering snowcapped peaks rise majestically. 白雪皑皑的山峰耸入云霄。

12 retired   

adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的

参考例句：

• The old man retired to the country for rest.这位老人下乡休息去了。
• Many retired people take up gardening as a hobby.许多退休的人都以从事园艺为嗜好。

13 humble   

adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低

参考例句：

• In my humble opinion,he will win the election.依我拙见，他将在选举中获胜。
• Defeat and failure make people humble.挫折与失败会使人谦卑。

14 discreet   

adj.(言行)谨慎的；慎重的；有判断力的

参考例句：

• He is very discreet in giving his opinions.发表意见他十分慎重。
• It wasn't discreet of you to ring me up at the office.你打电话到我办公室真是太鲁莽了。

15 thither   

adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的

参考例句：

• He wandered hither and thither looking for a playmate.他逛来逛去找玩伴。
• He tramped hither and thither.他到处流浪。

16 frayed   

adj.磨损的v.（使布、绳等）磨损，磨破( fray的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• His shirt was frayed. 他的衬衫穿破了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The argument frayed their nerves. 争辩使他们不快。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

17 greasy   

adj. 多脂的，油脂的

参考例句：

• He bought a heavy-duty cleanser to clean his greasy oven.昨天他买了强力清洁剂来清洗油污的炉子。
• You loathe the smell of greasy food when you are seasick.当你晕船时，你会厌恶油腻的气味。

18 linen   

n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的

参考例句：

• The worker is starching the linen.这名工人正在给亚麻布上浆。
• Fine linen and cotton fabrics were known as well as wool.精细的亚麻织品和棉织品像羊毛一样闻名遐迩。

19 sprouting   

v.发芽( sprout的现在分词 )；抽芽；出现；（使）涌现出

参考例句：

• new leaves sprouting from the trees 树上长出的新叶
• They were putting fresh earth around sprouting potato stalks. 他们在往绽出新芽的土豆秧周围培新土。 来自名作英译部分

20 innocence   

n.无罪；天真；无害

参考例句：

• There was a touching air of innocence about the boy.这个男孩有一种令人感动的天真神情。
• The accused man proved his innocence of the crime.被告人经证实无罪。

21 dodges   

n.闪躲( dodge的名词复数 )；躲避；伎俩；妙计v.闪躲( dodge的第三人称单数 )；回避

参考例句：

• He tried all sorts of dodges to avoid being called up. 他挖空心思，耍弄各种花招以逃避被征召入伍。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Those were the dodges he used to escape taxation. 那些是他用以逃税的诡计。 来自辞典例句

22 cove   

n.小海湾，小峡谷

参考例句：

• The shore line is wooded,olive-green,a pristine cove.岸边一带林木蓊郁，嫩绿一片，好一个山外的小海湾。
• I saw two children were playing in a cove.我看到两个小孩正在一个小海湾里玩耍。

23 precisely   

adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地

参考例句：

• It's precisely that sort of slick sales-talk that I mistrust.我不相信的正是那种油腔滑调的推销宣传。
• The man adjusted very precisely.那个人调得很准。

24 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

25 lawful   

adj.法律许可的，守法的，合法的

参考例句：

• It is not lawful to park in front of a hydrant.在消火栓前停车是不合法的。
• We don't recognised him to be the lawful heir.我们不承认他为合法继承人。

26 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

27 curtly   

adv.简短地

参考例句：

• He nodded curtly and walked away. 他匆忙点了一下头就走了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The request was curtly refused. 这个请求被毫不客气地拒绝了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

28 stew   

n.炖汤，焖，烦恼；v.炖汤，焖，忧虑

参考例句：

• The stew must be boiled up before serving.炖肉必须煮熟才能上桌。
• There's no need to get in a stew.没有必要烦恼。

29 queried   

v.质疑，对…表示疑问( query的过去式和过去分词 )；询问

参考例句：

• She queried what he said. 她对他说的话表示怀疑。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• \"What does he have to do?\" queried Chin dubiously. “他有什么心事？”琴向觉民问道，她的脸上现出疑惑不解的神情。 来自汉英文学 - 家（1-26） - 家（1-26）

30 concealing   

v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Despite his outward display of friendliness, I sensed he was concealing something. 尽管他表现得友善，我还是感觉到他有所隐瞒。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• SHE WAS BREAKING THE COMPACT, AND CONCEALING IT FROM HIM. 她违反了他们之间的约定，还把他蒙在鼓里。 来自英汉文学 - 三万元遗产

31 ingratitude   

n.忘恩负义

参考例句：

• Tim's parents were rather hurt by his ingratitude.蒂姆的父母对他的忘恩负义很痛心。
• His friends were shocked by his ingratitude to his parents.他对父母不孝，令他的朋友们大为吃惊。