HOLIDAY TIME I.—THE ORDEAL BY WATER

 "We will now bathe," said a voice at the back of my neck.

 

I gave a grunt¹ and went on with my dream. It was a jolly dream, and nobody got up early in it.

 

"We will now bathe," repeated Archie.

 

"Go away," I said distinctly.

 

Archie sat down on my knees and put his damp towel on my face.

 

"When my wife and I took this commodious² residence for six weeks," he said, "and engaged the sea at great expense to come up to its doors twice a day, it was on the distinct understanding that our guests should plunge³ into it punctually at seven o'clock every morning."

 

"Don't be silly, it's about three now. And I wish you'd get off my knees."

 

"It's a quarter-past seven."

 

"Then there you are, we've missed it. Well, we must see what we can do for you to-morrow. Good-night."

 

Archie pulled all the clothes off me and walked with them to the window.

 

"Jove, what a day!" he said. "And can't you smell the sea?"

 

"I can. Let that suffice. I say, what's happened to my blanket? I must have swallowed it in my sleep."

 

"Where's his sponge?" I heard him murmuring to himself as he came away from the window.

 

"No, no, I'm up," I shouted, and I sprang out of bed and put on a shirt and a pair of trousers with great speed. "Where do I take these off again?" I asked. "I seem to be giving myself a lot of trouble."

 

"There is a tent."

 

"Won't the ladies want it? Because, if so, I can easily have my bathe later on."

 

"The ladies think it's rather too rough to-day."

 

"Perhaps they're right," I said hopefully. "A woman's instinct—No,

I'm NOT a coward."

It wasn't so bad outside—sun and wind and a blue-and-white sky and plenty of movement on the sea.

 

"Just the day for a swim," said Archie cheerily, as he led the way down to the beach.

 

"I've nothing against the day; it's the hour I object to. The Lancet says you mustn't bathe within an hour of a heavy meal. Well, I'm going to have a very heavy meal within about twenty minutes. That isn't right, you know."

 

By the time I was ready the wind had got much colder. I looked out of the tent and shivered.

 

"Isn't it jolly and fresh?" said Archie, determined⁵ to be helpful.

"There are points about the early morning, after all."

"There are plenty of points about this morning. Where do they get all the sharp stones from? Look at that one there—he's simply waiting for me."

 

"You ought to have bought some bathing shoes. I got this pair in the village."

 

"Why didn't you tell me so last night?"

 

"It was too late last night."

 

"Well, it's much too early this morning. If you were a gentleman you'd lend me one of yours, and we'd hop⁴ down together."

 

Archie being no gentleman, he walked and I hobbled to the edge, and there we sat down while he took off his shoes.

 

"I should like to take this last opportunity," I said, "of telling you that up till now I haven't enjoyed this early morning bathe one little bit. I suppose there will be a notable moment when the ecstasy⁶ actually begins, but at present I can't see it coming at all. The only thing I look forward to with any pleasure is the telling Dahlia and Myra at breakfast what I think of their cowardice⁷. That and the breakfast itself. Good-bye."

 

I got up and waded⁸ into the surf.

 

"One last word," I said as I looked back at him. "In my whole career I shall never know a more absolutely beastly and miserable⁹ moment than this." Then a wave knocked me down, and I saw that I had spoken too hastily.

 

The world may be divided into two classes—those who drink when they swim and those who don't. I am one of the drinkers. For this reason I prefer river bathing to sea bathing.

 

"It's about time we came out," I shouted to Archie after the third pint¹⁰. "I'm exceeding my allowance."

 

"Aren't you glad now you came?" he cried from the top of a wave.

 

"Very," I said a moment later from inside it.

 

But I really did feel glad ten minutes afterwards as I sat on the beach in the sun and smoked a cigarette, and threw pebbles¹¹ lazily into the sea.

 

"Holbein, how brave of you!" cried a voice behind me.

 

"Good-morning. I'm not at all sure that I ought to speak to you."

 

"Have you really been taking the sea so early," said Myra as she sat down between us, "or did you rumple¹² each other's hair so as to deceive me?"

 

"I have been taking the sea," I confessed. "What you observe out there now is what I left."

 

"Oh, but that's what I do. That's why I didn't come to-day—because I had so much yesterday."

 

"I'm a three-bottle man. I can go on and on and on. And after all these years I have the most sensitive palate of any man living. For instance, I can distinguish between Scarborough and Llandudno quite easily with my eyes shut. Speaking as an expert, I may say that there is nothing to beat a small Cromer and seltzer; though some prefer a Ventnor and dash. Ilfracombe with a slice of lemon is popular, but hardly appeals to the fastidious."

 

"Do you know," said Archie, "that you are talking drivel? Nobody ought to drivel before breakfast. It isn't decent. What does Dahlia want to do to-day, Myra?"

 

"Mr Simpson is coming by the one-thirty."

 

"Good; then we'll have a slack day. The strain of meeting Simpson will be sufficient for us. I do hope he comes in a yachting cap—we'll send him back if he doesn't."

 

"I told him to bring one," said Myra. "I put a P.S. in Dahlia's letter—please bring your telescope and yachting cap. She thought we could have a good day's sailing to-morrow, if you'd kindly¹³ arrange about the wind."

 

"I'll talk to the crew about it and see what he can do. If we get becalmed we can always throw somebody overboard, of course. Well, I must go in and finish my toilet."

 

We got up and climbed slowly back to the house.

 

"And then," I said, "then for the heavy meal."

1 grunt   

v.嘟哝；作呼噜声；n.呼噜声，嘟哝

参考例句：

• He lifted the heavy suitcase with a grunt.他咕噜着把沉重的提箱拎了起来。
• I ask him what he think,but he just grunt.我问他在想什麽，他只哼了一声。

2 commodious   

adj.宽敞的；使用方便的

参考例句：

• It was a commodious and a diverting life.这是一种自由自在，令人赏心悦目的生活。
• Their habitation was not merely respectable and commodious,but even dignified and imposing.他们的居所既宽敞舒适又尊严气派。

3 plunge   

v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲

参考例句：

• Test pool's water temperature before you plunge in.在你跳入之前你应该测试水温。
• That would plunge them in the broil of the two countries.那将会使他们陷入这两国的争斗之中。

4 hop   

n.单脚跳，跳跃；vi.单脚跳，跳跃；着手做某事；vt.跳跃，跃过

参考例句：

• The children had a competition to see who could hop the fastest.孩子们举行比赛，看谁单足跳跃最快。
• How long can you hop on your right foot?你用右脚能跳多远？

5 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

6 ecstasy   

n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷

参考例句：

• He listened to the music with ecstasy.他听音乐听得入了神。
• Speechless with ecstasy,the little boys gazed at the toys.小孩注视着那些玩具，高兴得说不出话来。

7 cowardice   

n.胆小，怯懦

参考例句：

• His cowardice reflects on his character.他的胆怯对他的性格带来不良影响。
• His refusal to help simply pinpointed his cowardice.他拒绝帮助正显示他的胆小。

8 waded   

（从水、泥等）蹚，走过，跋( wade的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She tucked up her skirt and waded into the river. 她撩起裙子蹚水走进河里。
• He waded into the water to push the boat out. 他蹚进水里把船推出来。

9 miserable   

adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的

参考例句：

• It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
• Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。

10 pint   

n.品脱

参考例句：

• I'll have a pint of beer and a packet of crisps, please.我要一品脱啤酒和一袋炸马铃薯片。
• In the old days you could get a pint of beer for a shilling.从前，花一先令就可以买到一品脱啤酒。

11 pebbles   

[复数]鹅卵石； 沙砾； 卵石，小圆石( pebble的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The pebbles of the drive crunched under his feet. 汽车道上的小石子在他脚底下喀嚓作响。
• Line the pots with pebbles to ensure good drainage. 在罐子里铺一层鹅卵石，以确保排水良好。

12 rumple   

v.弄皱，弄乱；n.褶纹，皱褶

参考例句：

• Besides,he would tug at the ribbons of her bonnet and,no doubt,rumple her dress.此外，他还拉扯她帽子上的饰带，当然也会弄皱她的衣裙。
• You mustn't play in your new skirt,you'll rumple it.你千万不要穿着新裙子去玩耍，你会把它弄皱的。

13 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。