IV.—A WORD IN SEASON

 "Archie," said Blair, "what's that big empty room above the billiard-room for?"

 

"That," said Archie, "is where we hide the corpses¹ of our guests. I sleep with the key under my pillow."

 

"This is rather sudden," I said. "I'm not at all sure that I should have come if I had known that."

 

"Don't frighten them, dear; tell them the truth."

 

"Well, the truth is," said Archie, "that there was some idea of a little play-acting there occasionally. Hence the curtain-rod, the emergency exit and other devices."

 

"Then why haven't we done any? We came down here to open your house for you, and then you go and lock up the most important room of all, and sleep with the key under your pillow."

 

"It's too hot. But we'll do a little charade² to-night if you like—just to air the place."

 

"Hooray," said Myra, "I know a lovely word."

 

Myra's little word was in two syllables³ and required three performers. Archie and I were kindly⁴ included in her company. Simpson threatened to follow with something immense and archaic⁵, and Thomas also had something rather good up his sleeve, but I am not going to bother you with these. One word will be enough for you.

 

FIRST SCENE

"Oh, good-morning," said Myra. She had added a hat and a sunshade to her evening-frock, and was supported by me in a gentleman's lounge-coat and boater for Henley wear.

 

"Good-morning, mum," said Archie, hitching⁶ up his apron⁷ and spreading his hands on the table in front of him.

 

"I just want this ribbon matched, please."

 

"Certainly, mum. Won't your little boy—I beg pardon, the old gentleman, take a seat too? What colour did you want the ribbon, mum?"

 

"The same colour as this," I said. "Idiot."

 

"Your grandfather is in a bit of a draught⁸, I'm afraid, mum. It always stimulates⁹ the flow of language. My grandfather was just the same. I'm afraid, mum, we haven't any ribbon as you might say the SAME colour as this."

 

"If it's very near it will do."

 

"Now what colour would you call that?" wondered Archie, with his head on one side. "Kind of puce-like, I should put it at. Puce-magenta¹⁰, as we say in the trade. No; we're right out of puce- magenta."

 

"Show the lady what you have got," I said sternly.

 

"Well, mum, I'm right out of ribbon, altogether. The fact is I'm more of an ironmonger really. The draper's is just the other side of the road. You wouldn't like a garden-roller now? I can do you a nice garden-roller for two pound five, and that's simply giving it away."

 

"Oh, shall we have a nice roller?" said Myra eagerly.

 

"I'm not going to carry it home," I said.

 

"That's all right, sir. My little lad will take it up on his bicycle. Two pounds five, mum, and sixpence for the mouse-trap the gentleman's been sitting on. Say three pounds."

 

Myra took out her purse.

 

SECOND SCENE

We were back in our ordinary clothes.

 

"I wonder if they guessed that," said Archie.

 

"It was very easy," said Myra. "I should have thought they'd have seen it at once."

 

"But of course they're not a very clever lot," I explained. "That fellow with the spectacles—"

 

"Simpson his name is," said Archie. "I know him well. He's a professional golfer."

 

"Well, he LOOKS learned enough. I expect he knows all right. But the others—"

 

"Do you think they knew that we were supposed to be in a shop?"

 

"Surely! Why, I should think even—What's that man's name over there? No; that one next to the pretty lady—ah, yes, Thomas. Is that Thomas, the wonderful cueist, by the way? Really! Well, I should think even Thomas guessed that much."

 

"Why not do it over again to make sure?"

 

"Oh no, it was perfectly¹¹ obvious. Let's get on to the final scene."

 

"I'm afraid that will give it away rather," said Myra.

 

"I'm afraid so," agreed Archie.

 

THIRD SCENE

We sat on camp-stools and looked up at the ceiling with our mouths open.

 

"'E's late," said Archie.

 

"I don't believe 'e's coming, and I don't mind 'oo 'ears me sye so," said Myra. "So there!"

 

"'Ot work," I said, wiping my brow.

 

"Nar, not up there. Not 'ot. Nice and breezy like."

 

"But 'e's nearer the sun than wot we are, ain't 'e?"

 

"Ah, but 'e's not 'ot. Not up there."

 

"'Ere, there 'e is," cried Myra, jumping up excitedly. "Over there. 'Ow naow, it's a bird. I declare I quite thought it was 'im. Silly of me."

 

There was silence for a little, and then Archie took a sandwich out of his pocket.

 

"Wunner wot they'll invent next," he said, and munched¹² stolidly¹³.

 

. . . . . . .

 

"Well done," said Dahlia.

 

"Thomas and I have been trying to guess," said Simpson, "but the strain is terrific. My first idea was 'codfish,' but I suppose that's wrong. It's either 'silkworm' or 'wardrobe.' Thomas suggests 'mangel-wurzel.' He says he never saw anybody who had so much the whole air of a wurzel as Archie. The indefinable elan of the wurzel was there."

 

"Can't you really guess?" said Myra eagerly.

 

"I don't know whether I want you to or not. Oh no, I don't want you to."

 

"Then I withdraw 'mangel-wurzel,'" said Simpson gallantly¹⁴.

 

"I think I can guess," said Blair. "It's—"

 

"Whisper it," said Simpson. "I'm never going to know."

 

Blair whispered it.

 

"Yes," said Myra disappointedly, "that's it."

1 corpses   

n.死尸，尸体( corpse的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The living soldiers put corpses together and burned them. 活着的战士把尸体放在一起烧了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Overhead, grayish-white clouds covered the sky, piling up heavily like decaying corpses. 天上罩满了灰白的薄云，同腐烂的尸体似的沉沉的盖在那里。 来自汉英文学 - 中国现代小说

2 charade   

n.用动作等表演文字意义的字谜游戏

参考例句：

• You must not refine too much upon this charade.你切不可过分推敲这个字谜。
• His poems,despite their dignity and felicity,have an air of charade.他的诗篇虽然庄严巧妙，却有猜迷之嫌。

3 syllables   

n.音节( syllable的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• a word with two syllables 双音节单词
• 'No. But I'll swear it was a name of two syllables.' “想不起。不过我可以发誓，它有两个音节。” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

4 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。

5 archaic   

adj.(语言、词汇等)古代的，已不通用的

参考例句：

• The company does some things in archaic ways,such as not using computers for bookkeeping.这个公司有些做法陈旧，如记账不使用电脑。
• Shaanxi is one of the Chinese archaic civilized origins which has a long history.陕西省是中国古代文明发祥之一，有悠久的历史。

6 hitching   

搭乘； （免费）搭乘他人之车( hitch的现在分词 )； 搭便车； 攀上； 跃上

参考例句：

• The farmer yoked the oxen before hitching them to the wagon. 农夫在将牛套上大车之前先给它们套上轭。
• I saw an old man hitching along on his stick. 我看见一位老人拄着手杖蹒跚而行。

7 apron   

n.围裙；工作裙

参考例句：

• We were waited on by a pretty girl in a pink apron.招待我们的是一位穿粉红色围裙的漂亮姑娘。
• She stitched a pocket on the new apron.她在新围裙上缝上一只口袋。

8 draught   

n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计

参考例句：

• He emptied his glass at one draught.他将杯中物一饮而尽。
• It's a pity the room has no north window and you don't get a draught.可惜这房间没北窗，没有过堂风。

9 stimulates   

v.刺激( stimulate的第三人称单数 )；激励；使兴奋；起兴奋作用，起刺激作用，起促进作用

参考例句：

• Exercise stimulates the body. 运动促进身体健康。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Alcohol stimulates the action of the heart. 酒刺激心脏的活动。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

10 magenta   

n..紫红色（的染料）；adj.紫红色的

参考例句：

• In the one photo in which she appeared, Hillary Clinton wore a magenta gown.在其中一张照片中，希拉里身着一件紫红色礼服。
• For the same reason air information is printed in magenta.出于同样的原因，航空资料采用品红色印刷。

11 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

12 munched   

v.用力咀嚼（某物），大嚼( munch的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She munched on an apple. 她在大口啃苹果。
• The rabbit munched on the fresh carrots. 兔子咯吱咯吱地嚼着新鲜胡萝卜。 来自辞典例句

13 stolidly   

adv.迟钝地，神经麻木地

参考例句：

• Too often people sat stolidly watching the noisy little fiddler. 人们往往不动声色地坐在那里，瞧着这位瘦小的提琴手闹腾一番。 来自辞典例句
• He dropped into a chair and sat looking stolidly at the floor. 他坐在椅子上，两眼呆呆地望着地板。 来自辞典例句

14 gallantly   

adv. 漂亮地，勇敢地，献殷勤地

参考例句：

• He gallantly offered to carry her cases to the car. 他殷勤地要帮她把箱子拎到车子里去。
• The new fighters behave gallantly under fire. 新战士在炮火下表现得很勇敢。