“On a Dark and Gloomy Night.
“My Princess Pat:
“You are the possessor of a possession of which you wittest not. You have a ghost. Wire Conan Doyle, Sir Oliver Lodge1 and others of their ilk. Ask them what is the best recipe for catching2 a Voice. The gink up on the bluff3 that does so much vocal4 practice is not a gink—he’s a spook. He’s up there vocaling right now, doing his spookish heckest to give me the willies.
“Pat, did you send me out here just from curiosity, to see if I’d go goofy? Tut, tut! This is no place for a flabby-souled young man; broad shoulders, my dear girl, don’t amount to a darn in grappling with a man-size Voice. I believe you did, you little huzzy. I remember you distinctly mentioned howling on a hill, and my sitting in the cabin listening to it. Great idea you had. I’m sitting here listening. What am I supposed to do next?
“You also indicated business of listening to a horse champing hay in a stable. Well, I have a horse at last, but the property man overlooked the sod-roofed stable. Not having the prop5 in which my horse should champ, he’s picketed6 up the cañon, and he’s supposed to be champing sagebrush or grass or something. He isn’t doing it though. He absolutely refuses to follow direction. He’s up there going ‘MMMH-hmmm-Hmmm-hm-hm-hm!!!!’ I’m sorry, Pat, but that’s exactly what he’s doing—as close as it can be put into human spelling. He can’t feature this cañon, honey. I suspect he’s flabby souled, too.
“He wants to chase off with the rest of the bunch about ten or fifteen miles. Nobody loves this cañon except the psychic7 cat and the two pigs. And the pigs don’t love it any more; not since I made a rock corral and waylaid8 the little devils when they went snooping in there after some stuff I put in a trough. I baited the trap, you see—oh, this gigantic brain of mine has been hitting on all two cylinders9 lately!—and then I hid. Lizards10 crawled over me, and the sun blistered11 the back of my neck while I waited for those two brutes12 to walk into the foreground. Animal pictures are hard to get, as you may have heard while you were enduring a spasm13 of Handsome Gary’s shop talk. Cut. Iris14 in Gary sneaking15 up with the board gate he’d artcrafted the day before. So the pigs don’t love Handsome Gary any more, and they’re spending most of their spare time talking about me behind my back and hunting for a soft place where they can run a drift under my perfectly16 nice rock fence, and then stope up to the surface and beat it, registering contempt. I’ll call ’em shoats if they don’t behave.
“I scythed19 some alfalfa to-day, Pat. Put on a swell20 rural comedy, featuring Handsome Gary making side-swipes at his heels. It was a scream, I reckon. But I came within an inch of scything21 Faith, only she’s a wizard at jumping over rocks and things, and she did as pretty a side-slip as you ever saw, and made her get-away. I’ve wondered since—would I have had two pinto cats, or only one psychic Voice? I mean one more psychic Voice. This one up on the bluff used to belong to Steve Carson, according to the yarn22 the Piutes told me. He’d have made a great director, if the rest of him measured up to his lung power. The Piutes say he faded out very mysteriously, five years ago, leaving his holler behind him. I’m afraid folks didn’t like him very well. At any rate his Voice is darned unpopular. I can’t say it makes any great hit with me, either. Though it’s not so bad, at that. The main trouble seems to be not having any man to go with the Voice. The Piutes couldn’t feature it at all. They wouldn’t drive the horses into the corral, even. I had to double for them when they got the bunch down there at the mouth of the cañon. Jazzed around for two hours on an Injun pony23 with a gait like a pile driver, getting your horses into your corral. You seem to have four or five fair imitations, Pat. The rest are the bunk24, if you ask me. Not broken and not worth breaking. Don’t even look good to eat.
“There is one work team which I mean to give a try-out when I put on my character part entitled, Making Hay Whether the Sun Shines or Not. They have collar marks, and they’re old enough to be my dad’s wedding team. Lips hang down like a mule25, and hollows over their eyes you could drop an egg in. I hate to flatter you, kid, but your horse herd26, take it by and large, is not what I’d be proud of. You’re a wonderful girl—you got stung in several places at once.
“Haven’t seen anything yet of Monty Girard. Can’t think what’s the matter, unless that savage27 Ford28 of his attacked him when he wasn’t looking. It will be just as well now if he holds off till I get your alfalfa cut and stacked. I’ll have a merry heck of a time doing it alone. There’s about four acres, I should judge. To-morrow morning I start in and do a one-step around the patch with that cussed scythe18. You needn’t think it’s going to be funny—not for Handsome Gary. I tried to get the youngest Piute to double for me in the part, but nothing doing. ‘Them holler no good,’ is what he said. Funny—I kinda feel that way myself. Money wouldn’t tempt17 ’em. He spoke29 well of Steve Carson, too; but he sure as heck don’t like his voice.
“What would you say, kid, if I found you a mine in here? I’ve had the strongest hunch—I can’t explain it. I keep thinking there’s a mine up on the bluff where that Voice is. I suppose I can trace the idea back to that porphyry float I picked up the day after I landed here. I found another piece yesterday, lying out here behind the cabin. It must have been packed in from somewhere else. Pretty rich-looking rock, kid. If I could find enough of that, you wouldn’t need to pound out invoices30 and gol-darned letters about horse feed and what to wean calves31 on. You could have a white mansion32 topping that hill of ours, where we climb up and sit under the oak while we build our air castles. Will we ever again? You feel farther away than the sun, kid. I have to write just to keep my thoughts from growing numb33 with the damned chill of this place. You know—I wrote it down before. It’s hell to be wondering what you’d see if you looked around....
“Well, if I find you a mine you can have your mansion on the hill. Because, if the mine stacked up like the rock I found, you could carry a million dollars around with you careless-like for spending money—street-car fare, you know, and a meal at the cafeteria, and such luxuries. And if your pocket was picked or your purse snatched or anything, you could wave your hand airily and say, ‘Oh, that’s all right. I’ve hundreds of millions more at home!’ How’d you like that, old girl?
“Because I mortared a piece of that rock and panned it. It was rich, Pat—so darned rich it scared me for a minute. I thought I had a bad case of Desert Rat’s Delusion34. I wouldn’t tell you this, kid, if I ever meant to send the letter. I’m just writing to please myself, not you. No, sir, I wouldn’t tell you a word about it. I’d just go ahead and open up the mine—after I’d found it—and get about a million dollars on the dump before I let a yip out of me. Then maybe I’d send you word through your lawyer saying ‘I begged to inform you that I had dug you a million dollars, and how would you have it?’ Golly grandma, if I could only find the ledge35 that rock came from!
“You know, Pat, you got me all wrong that night. What made me so doggoned sore was to think how you’d handed over five thousand dollars to a gink, just on the strength of his say-so. It showed on the face of it that it was no investment for you to make. It wasn’t that I am so stuck on the movies. Heck knows I’m not. But I sure am stuck on the job that will pay me the money I can get from working in the movies. I’ll rent my profile any time—for a hundred dollars a day, and as much more as I can get. That’s what the contract would have paid me the first year, Pat, and double that the second if I made good. So I was dead willing to put paint on my eyebrows36 and paint on my lips, and let my profile—if you insist that’s all I got over on the screen—earn a little home for my Princess Pat and me.
“But if I could find a mine to match that chunk37 of rock, the studios would never see Handsome Gary—never no more. I’d kiss my own girl on the lips—for love. Honest, Pat, those kisses, that looked so real on the screen and made you so sore, were awfully38 faked. I never told you. I guess I’m a mean cuss. But I never touched a girl’s lips, Lady, after I met you. I had one alibi39 guaranteed never to slip. I told ’em, one and all, confidentially40 before we went into the scene, that they could trust me. I swore I’d remember and not smear41 their lips all over their cheeks. I said I knew girls hated that, and I’d be careful. Then it was up to me to do some plain and fancy faking. And when my Lady Patricia put up her chin and registered supreme42 indifference43, it always tickled44 me to see how well I’d put it over. I always meant to tell you some time, girlie.
“I had a wild idea when I left the city that I’d maybe write down a story I’d been framing in my mind when I was on location and waiting between scenes. I told Mills just enough of it to get him curious to hear the rest. He told me to write it out in scenario45 form and if it was good he’d see that the company bought it. That would have been a couple of hundred more toward our home, kid. The point is, I laid in a lot of paper. Now that darn story’s gone stale on me and I’m using up the paper writing letters to you that you’ll never read. As a little blond jane in our company was always saying, ‘Isn’t life a perfect scream?’ I’ll say it is.
点击收听单词发音
1 lodge | |
v.临时住宿,寄宿,寄存,容纳;n.传达室,小旅馆 | |
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2 catching | |
adj.易传染的,有魅力的,迷人的,接住 | |
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3 bluff | |
v.虚张声势,用假象骗人;n.虚张声势,欺骗 | |
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4 vocal | |
adj.直言不讳的;嗓音的;n.[pl.]声乐节目 | |
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5 prop | |
vt.支撑;n.支柱,支撑物;支持者,靠山 | |
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6 picketed | |
用尖桩围住(picket的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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7 psychic | |
n.对超自然力敏感的人;adj.有超自然力的 | |
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8 waylaid | |
v.拦截,拦路( waylay的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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9 cylinders | |
n.圆筒( cylinder的名词复数 );圆柱;汽缸;(尤指用作容器的)圆筒状物 | |
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10 lizards | |
n.蜥蜴( lizard的名词复数 ) | |
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11 blistered | |
adj.水疮状的,泡状的v.(使)起水泡( blister的过去式和过去分词 );(使表皮等)涨破,爆裂 | |
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12 brutes | |
兽( brute的名词复数 ); 畜生; 残酷无情的人; 兽性 | |
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13 spasm | |
n.痉挛,抽搐;一阵发作 | |
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14 iris | |
n.虹膜,彩虹 | |
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15 sneaking | |
a.秘密的,不公开的 | |
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16 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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17 tempt | |
vt.引诱,勾引,吸引,引起…的兴趣 | |
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18 scythe | |
n. 长柄的大镰刀,战车镰; v. 以大镰刀割 | |
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19 scythed | |
v.(长柄)大镰刀( scythe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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20 swell | |
vi.膨胀,肿胀;增长,增强 | |
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21 scything | |
v.(长柄)大镰刀( scythe的现在分词 ) | |
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22 yarn | |
n.纱,纱线,纺线;奇闻漫谈,旅行轶事 | |
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23 pony | |
adj.小型的;n.小马 | |
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24 bunk | |
n.(车、船等倚壁而设的)铺位;废话 | |
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25 mule | |
n.骡子,杂种,执拗的人 | |
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26 herd | |
n.兽群,牧群;vt.使集中,把…赶在一起 | |
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27 savage | |
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人 | |
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28 Ford | |
n.浅滩,水浅可涉处;v.涉水,涉过 | |
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29 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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30 invoices | |
发票( invoice的名词复数 ); (发货或服务)费用清单; 清单上货物的装运; 货物的托运 | |
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31 calves | |
n.(calf的复数)笨拙的男子,腓;腿肚子( calf的名词复数 );牛犊;腓;小腿肚v.生小牛( calve的第三人称单数 );(冰川)崩解;生(小牛等),产(犊);使(冰川)崩解 | |
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32 mansion | |
n.大厦,大楼;宅第 | |
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33 numb | |
adj.麻木的,失去感觉的;v.使麻木 | |
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34 delusion | |
n.谬见,欺骗,幻觉,迷惑 | |
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35 ledge | |
n.壁架,架状突出物;岩架,岩礁 | |
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36 eyebrows | |
眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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37 chunk | |
n.厚片,大块,相当大的部分(数量) | |
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38 awfully | |
adv.可怕地,非常地,极端地 | |
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39 alibi | |
n.某人当时不在犯罪现场的申辩或证明;借口 | |
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40 confidentially | |
ad.秘密地,悄悄地 | |
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41 smear | |
v.涂抹;诽谤,玷污;n.污点;诽谤,污蔑 | |
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42 supreme | |
adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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43 indifference | |
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
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44 tickled | |
(使)发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)愉快,逗乐 | |
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45 scenario | |
n.剧本,脚本;概要 | |
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46 grouchy | |
adj.好抱怨的;愠怒的 | |
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