As they rolled over the roads on their way homeward, in the darkness of their coach, my Lord Dunstanwolde spoke1 of his happiness and told its story. There was no approach to an old lover's exultant2 folly3 in his talk; his voice was full of noble feeling, and in his manner there was somewhat like to awe4 of the great joy which had befallen him. To him who listened to the telling 'twas a strange relation indeed, since each incident seemed to reveal to him a blindness in himself. Why had he not read the significance of a score of things which he could now recall? A score of things?—a hundred! Because he had been in his early prime, and full of the visions and passions of youth, he had not for one moment dreamed that a man who was so far his senior could be a man still, his heart living enough to yearn5 and ache, his eyes clear to see the radiance others saw, and appraise6 it as adoringly. 'Twas the common fault of youth to think to lead the world and to sweep aside from its path all less warm-blooded, strong-limbed creatures, feeling their day was done for them, and that for them there was naught7 left but to wait quietly for the end. There was an ignobleness in it—a self-absorption which was almost dishonour8. And in this way he had erred9 as far as any stripling with blooming cheeks and girlish love-locks who thought that nine and twenty struck the knell10 of love and life. 'Twas thoughts like these that were passing through his mind as they were driven through the darkness—at least they were the thoughts upon the surface of his mind, while below them surged a torrent11 into whose darkness he dared not look. He was a man, and he had lost her—lost her! She had become a part of his being—and she had been torn from his side. "Let me but look into your eyes," he had said, and he had looked and read her answering soul—too late!
"I have passed through dark days, Gerald," my lord was saying. "How should I have dared to hope that she would give herself to me? I had been mad to hope it. And yet a man in my case must plead, whether he despairs or not. I think 'twas her gentleness to Mistress Anne which has sustained me. That poor gentlewoman and I have the happiness to know her heart as others do not. Thank God, 'tis so! When to-night I said to her sadly, 'Madam, my youth is long past,' she stopped me with a strange and tender little cry. She put her hand upon my shoulder. Ah, its soft touch, its white, kind caress12! 'Youth is not all,' she said. 'I have known younger men who could not bring a woman truth and honourable13 love. 'Tis not I who give, 'tis not I,' and the full sweet red of her mouth quivered. I—have not yet dared to touch it, Gerald." And his voice was sad as well as reverent14. "Youth would have been more bold."
In his dark corner of the coach his Grace checked breath to control a start. In the past he had had visions such as all men have—and all was lost! And to-morrow his kinsman15 would have gained courage to look his new bliss16 in the face—the autumn of his days would be warmed by a late glow of the sun, but that long summer which yet lay before himself would know no flame of gold. The years he had spent in training his whole being to outward self-control at least did service to him now, and aided him to calm, affectionate speech.
Together they conversed18 on this one subject until their journey was over. When they had passed through the hall and stood at length in the light of the apartment in which it was their custom to sit, Osmonde beheld19 in my lord's face the freshness and glow he had marked on his arrival, increased tenfold, and now he well understood. In truth, the renewal20 of his life was a moving thing to see. He stood by the mantel, his arm resting upon it, his forehead in his hand, for a little space in silence and as if lost in thought.
"She is a goddess," he said, "and because she is so, can be humble21. Had you but seen her, Gerald, when she spoke. ''Tis not I who give,' she saith. 'You are a great Earl, I am a poor beauty—a shrew—a hoyden22. I give naught but this!' and flung her fair arms apart with a great lovely gesture and stood before me stately, her beauty glowing like the sun."
He drew a deep sigh of tenderness and looked up with a faint start. "'Tis not fair I should fatigue23 you with my ecstasy," he said. "You look pale, Gerald. You are generous to listen with such patience."
"I need no patience," answered my lord Duke with noble warmth, "to aid me to listen to the kinsman I have loved from childhood when he speaks of his happiness with the fairest woman in the world. Having seen her to-night, I do not wonder she is called so by her worshippers."
"The fairest and the noblest," said my Lord. "Great Heaven, how often have I sate24 alone in this very room calling myself a madman in my despair! And now 'tis past! Sure it cannot be true?"
"'Tis true, my dear Lord," said Osmonde, "for I beheld it."
"Had you been in my place," his lordship said with his grave, kindly25 look, "you need not have wondered at your fortune. If you had lived in Warwickshire instead of winning laurels26 in campaign you might have been my rival if you would—and I a hopeless man—and she a Duchess. But you two never met."
My lord Duke held out his hand and grasped his kinsman's with friendly sympathy.
"Until to-night we never met," he said. "'Twas Fate ordained27 it so—and I would not be your rival, for we have loved each other too long. I must wait to find another lady, and she will be Countess of Dunstanwolde."
He bore himself composedly until they had exchanged the final courtesies and parted for the night, and having mounted the stairs had passed through the long gallery which led him to his apartments. When he opened the door it seemed to his fancy that the wax tapers28 burned but dimly amid the shadows of the great room, and that the pictured faces hanging on the walls looked white and gazed as if aghast.
The veins29 were swollen30 in his temples and throbbed31 hard, his blood coursed hot and cold alternately, there were drops starting out upon his brow. He had not known his passions were so tempestuous32 and that he could be prey33 to such pangs34 of anguish35 and of rage. Hitherto he had held himself in check, but now 'twas as if he had lost his hold on the reins36 which controlled galloping37 steeds. The blood of men who had been splendid savages38 centuries ago ran wild within him. His life for thirty years had been noble and just and calm. Being endowed with all gifts by Nature and his path made broad by Fortune, he had dealt in high honour with all bestowed39 upon him. But now for this night he knew he was a different man, and that his hour had come.
"Not as Hugh de Mertoun came back," he said. "Good God! no, no!"
The rage of him, body and soul, made him sick and suffocated41 him.
"Could a man go mad in such case?" he cried. "I am not sane42! I cannot reason! I would not have believed it."
His arteries43 so throbbed that he tore open the lace at his throat and flung back his head. "I cannot reason!" he said. "I know now how men kill. And yet he is as sweet a soul as Heaven ever made." He paced the great length of the chamber to and fro.
"'Tis not Nature," he said. "It cannot be borne—he to hold her to his breast, and I—I to stand aside. Her eyes—her lovely, melting, woman's eyes!"
Men have been mad before for less of the same torment44, and he whose nature was fire, and whose imagination had the power to torture him by picturing all he had lost and all another man had won, was only saved because he knew his frenzy45.
"To this place itself she will be brought," he thought. "In these rooms she will move, wife and queen and mistress. He will so worship her that she cannot but melt to him. At the mere46 thought of it my brain reels."
He knew that his thoughts were half delirium47, his words half raving48, yet he could not control them, and thanked chance that his apartment was near none other which was occupied, and that he could stride about and stamp his foot upon the floor, and yet no sound be heard beyond the massive walls and doors. Outside such walls, in the face of the world, he must utter no word, show no sign by any quiver of a muscle; and 'twas the realisation of the silence he must keep, the poignard stabs he must endure without movement, which at this hour drove him to madness.
"This is but the beginning," he groaned49. "Since I am his kinsman and we have been friends, I am bound as a man upon the rack is bound while he is torn limb from limb. I must see it all—there will be no escape. At their marriage I must attend them. God save me—taking my fit place as the chief of my house at the nuptials50 of a well beloved kinsman, I must share in the rejoicings, and be taunted51 by his rapture52 and her eyes. Nay53, nay, she cannot gaze at him as she would have gazed at me—she cannot! Yet how shall I endure!"
For hours he walked to and fro, the mere sense of restless movement being an aid to his mood. Sometimes again he flung himself into a seat and sat with hidden eyes. But he could not shut out the pictures his fevered fancy painted for him. A man of strong imagination, and who is possessed54 by a growing passion, cannot fail to depict55 to himself, and live in, vivid dreams of that future of his hopes which is his chiefest joy. So he had dreamed, sometimes almost with the wild fervour of a boy, smiling while he did it, at his own pleasure in the mere detail his fancy presented to him. In these day-dreams his wealth, the beauty and dignity of his estates, the brilliant social atmosphere his rank assured him, had gained a value he had never recognised before. He remembered now, with torturing distinctness, the happy day when it had first entered his mind, that those things which had been his daily surroundings from his childhood would all be new pleasures to her, all in strong contrast to the atmosphere of her past years. His heart actually leapt at the thought of the smilingness of fortune which had lavished56 upon him so much, that 'twould be rapture to him to lay at her feet. He had remembered tenderly the stately beauty of his beloved Camylott, the bosky dells at Marlowell Dane, the quaint57 dignity of the Elizabethan manor58 at Paulyn Dorlocke, the soft hills near Mertounhurst, where myriads59 of harebells grew and swayed in the summer breeze as it swept them; and the clear lake in the park at Roxholm, where the deer came to drink, and as a boy he had lain in his boat and rocked among the lily-pads in the early morning, when the great white water-flowers spread their wax cups broad and seemed to hold the gold of the sun. His life had been so full of beauty and fair things; wheresoever his lot had fallen at any time he had had fair days, fair nights, and earth's loveliness to behold60. And all he had loved and joyed in, he had known she would love and joy in, too. What a chatelaine she would make, he had thought; how the simple rustic61 folk would worship her! What a fit setting for her beauty would seem the grand saloons of Osmonde House! What a fit and queen-like wearer she would be for the marvellous jewels which had crowned fair heads and clasped fair throats and arms for centuries! There were diamonds all England had heard rumour62 of, and he had even lost himself in a lover's fancy of an hour when he himself would clasp a certain dazzling collar round the column of her throat, and never yet had he given himself to the fancy but in his vision he had laid his lips on the warm whiteness when 'twas done, and lost himself in a passionate63 kiss—and she had turned and smiled a heavenly answering bridal smile.
"I have been madder than I thought," he said. "Yes, 'twas madness—but 'twas Nature, too! Good God!" his forehead dropping in his hand and he panting. "I feel as if she had been a year my wife, and another man had torn her from my breast. And yet she has not been mine an hour—nor ever will be—and she is Dunstanwolde's, who, while I wake in torment, dreams in bliss, as is his honest, heavenly right." Even to the torment he had no claim, but in being torn by it seemed but robbing another man. What a night of impotent rage it was, of unreasoning, hopeless hatred65 of himself, of his fate, and even of the man who was his rival, though at his worst he reviled66 his frenzy, which could be so base as to rend67 unjustly a being without blame.
'Twas not himself who hated, but the madness in his blood which for this space ran riot.
At dawn, when the first glimmer68 of light began to pale the skies, he found himself sitting by the wide-thrown casement69 still in the attire70 he had worn the night before. For the first time since he had been born his splendid normal strength had failed him and he was heavy with unnatural71 fatigue. He sate looking out until the pale tint72 had deepened to primrose73 and the primrose into sunrise gold; birds wakened in the trees' broad branches and twittered and flew forth74; the sward and flowers were drenched75 with summer dews, and as the sun changed the drops to diamonds he gazed upon the lovely peace and breathed in the fresh fragrance76 of the early morn with a deep sigh, knowing his frenzy past but feeling that it had left him a changed man.
"Yes," he said, "I have been given too beauteous and smooth a life. Till now Fate has denied me nothing, and I have gone on my way unknowing it has been so, and fancying that if misfortune came I should bear it better than another man. 'Twas but human vanity to believe in powers which never had been tried. Self-command I have preached to myself, calmness and courage; for years I have believed I possessed them all and was Gerald Mertoun's master, and yet at the first blow I spend hours of the night in madness and railing against Fate. But one thing I can comfort myself with—that I wore a calm face and could speak like a man—until I was alone. Thank God for that."
As he sate he laid his plans for the future, knowing that he must lay out for himself such plans and be well aware of what he meant to do, that he might at no time betray himself to his kinsman and by so doing cast a shadow on his joy.
"Should he guess that it has been paid for by my despair," he said, "'twould be so marred78 for his kind heart that I know not how he would bear the thought. 'Twould be to him as if he had found himself the rival of the son he loved. He has loved me, Heaven knows, and I have loved him. Tis an affection which must last."
My Lord Dunstanwolde had slept peacefully and risen early. He was full of the reflections natural to a man to whom happiness has come and the whole tenor79 of whose future life must be changed in its domestic aspect, whose very household must wear a brighter face, and whose entire method of existence will wear new and more youthful form. He walked forth upon his domain80, glad of its beauty and the heavenly brightness of the day which showed it fair. He had spent an hour out of doors, and returning to the terrace fronting the house, where already the peacocks had begun to walk daintily, spreading or trailing their gorgeous iridescent81 plumes82, he looked up at his kinsman's casement and gave a start. My lord Duke sate there still in his gala apparel of white and gold brocade, his breast striped by the broad blue ribbon of the Garter, jewelled stars shining on his coat.
"Gerald," he called to him in alarm, "you are still dressed! Are you ill, my dear boy!"
Osmonde rose to his feet with a quickness of movement which allayed83 his momentary84 fear; he waved his hand with a greeting smile.
"'Tis nothing," he answered, "I was a little ailing77, and after 'twas past I fell asleep in my chair. The morning air has but just awaked me."
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1
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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2
exultant
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| adj.欢腾的，狂欢的，大喜的 | |
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3
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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4
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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yearn
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| v.想念；怀念；渴望 | |
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appraise
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| v.估价，评价，鉴定 | |
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naught
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| n.无，零 [=nought] | |
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8
dishonour
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| n./vt.拒付（支票、汇票、票据等）；vt.凌辱，使丢脸；n.不名誉，耻辱，不光彩 | |
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9
erred
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| 犯错误，做错事( err的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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knell
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| n.丧钟声；v.敲丧钟 | |
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torrent
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| n.激流，洪流；爆发，(话语等的)连发 | |
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caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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13
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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reverent
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| adj.恭敬的，虔诚的 | |
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kinsman
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| n.男亲属 | |
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bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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17
joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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18
conversed
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
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19
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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20
renewal
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| adj.(契约)延期，续订，更新，复活，重来 | |
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21
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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hoyden
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| n.野丫头，淘气姑娘 | |
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fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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sate
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| v.使充分满足 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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laurels
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| n.桂冠，荣誉 | |
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ordained
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| v.任命（某人）为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 )；授予（某人）圣职；（上帝、法律等）命令；判定 | |
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28
tapers
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| （长形物体的）逐渐变窄( taper的名词复数 )； 微弱的光； 极细的蜡烛 | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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30
swollen
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| adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀 | |
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throbbed
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| 抽痛( throb的过去式和过去分词 )； （心脏、脉搏等）跳动 | |
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tempestuous
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| adj.狂暴的 | |
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prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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pangs
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| 突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 )； 悲痛 | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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reins
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| 感情，激情； 缰( rein的名词复数 )； 控制手段； 掌管； （成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的）保护带 | |
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galloping
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| adj. 飞驰的, 急性的 动词gallop的现在分词形式 | |
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savages
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| 未开化的人，野蛮人( savage的名词复数 ) | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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41
suffocated
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| （使某人）窒息而死( suffocate的过去式和过去分词 )； （将某人）闷死； 让人感觉闷热； 憋气 | |
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42
sane
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| adj.心智健全的，神志清醒的，明智的，稳健的 | |
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43
arteries
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| n.动脉( artery的名词复数 )；干线，要道 | |
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44
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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45
frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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46
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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47
delirium
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| n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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48
raving
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| adj.说胡话的；疯狂的，怒吼的；非常漂亮的；令人醉心[痴心]的v.胡言乱语(rave的现在分词)n.胡话；疯话adv.胡言乱语地；疯狂地 | |
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49
groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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nuptials
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| n.婚礼；婚礼( nuptial的名词复数 ) | |
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51
taunted
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| 嘲讽( taunt的过去式和过去分词 )； 嘲弄； 辱骂； 奚落 | |
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52
rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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53
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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54
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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55
depict
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| vt.描画，描绘；描写，描述 | |
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56
lavished
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| v.过分给予，滥施( lavish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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58
manor
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| n.庄园，领地 | |
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myriads
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| n.无数，极大数量( myriad的名词复数 ) | |
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60
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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61
rustic
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| adj.乡村的，有乡村特色的；n.乡下人，乡巴佬 | |
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62
rumour
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| n.谣言，谣传，传闻 | |
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63
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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clinching
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| v.（尤指两人）互相紧紧抱[扭]住( clinch的现在分词 )；解决（争端、交易），达成（协议） | |
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65
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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reviled
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| v.辱骂，痛斥( revile的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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rend
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| vt.把…撕开，割裂；把…揪下来，强行夺取 | |
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glimmer
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| v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光 | |
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casement
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| n.竖铰链窗；窗扉 | |
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attire
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| v.穿衣，装扮[同]array；n.衣着；盛装 | |
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unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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primrose
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| n.樱草，最佳部分， | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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drenched
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| adj.湿透的；充满的v.使湿透( drench的过去式和过去分词 )；在某人（某物）上大量使用（某液体） | |
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fragrance
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| n.芬芳，香味，香气 | |
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ailing
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| v.生病 | |
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marred
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| adj. 被损毁, 污损的 | |
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tenor
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| n.男高音（歌手），次中音（乐器），要旨，大意 | |
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domain
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| n.(活动等)领域，范围；领地，势力范围 | |
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iridescent
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| adj.彩虹色的，闪色的 | |
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82
plumes
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| 羽毛( plume的名词复数 )； 羽毛饰； 羽毛状物； 升上空中的羽状物 | |
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83
allayed
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| v.减轻，缓和( allay的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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