Dolly met me the next morning, looking shy and half-frightened as a child caught fruit-picking. She gave me her hand with no show of heartiness1, and withdrew it at once as if its fingers were the delicate antennae2 of her innocent soul and I her natural enemy.
“Where shall we go, Renny?” she asked, glancing timidly up at me.
“To Epping again, Dolly, dear. I’ve set my heart on it.”
She seemed at first as if about to ask me why; then to shrink from a subject she dreaded3 appearing to have a leading interest in.
“Very well,” she answered, faintly. “It will be lovely there now.”
“Won’t you help a poor woman to a crust of bread, kind lidy?” said a voluble whining4 voice at our ears, and a sturdy mendicant5 thrust her hand between us. She was a very frouzy and forbidding-looking mendicant, indeed, with battered6 bonnet7 askew8 and villainous small eyes, and her neighborhood was redolent of gin.
“Spare a copper9, kind lidy and gentleman,” she entreated10, with a bibulous11 smirk12, “and call down the blessings13 of ’eving on a widowed ’art as ’an’t tysted bit or sup since yesterday come to-morrer, and five blessed children wantin’ a ’ome, which it’s the rent overdue14 and these ’ands wore to knife powder scrapin’ in the gutters15 for scraps16 which one crust of bread would ease. Kind lidy, oh, just a copper.”
Dolly was for putting a charitable hand into her pocket as the creature followed us, but I peremptorily17 stopped her and would not have her imposed upon.
“Kind lidy,” continued the woman, “I’ve walked the streets all night since yesterday morning and the soles off my feet, kind lidy; won’t you spare a copper? And I dursn’t go ’ome for fear of my man, and I buried the youngest a week come yesterday, and praise ’eving I’m a lonely widder, without child or ’usband, kind lidy; just a copper for the funeral—and rot the faces off of you for a couple of bloomin’ marks in your silks and satings and may you die of the black thirst with the ale foamin’ in barrils out of reach. You a lidy? Oh, yes, sich as cocks her nose at a honest woman starvin’ in her rags, and so will you some day, for all your pink cheeks, when you’ve been thrown over like this here bloomin’ bonnet!”
She screamed after us and caught the moldy18 relic19 from her head and slapped it upon the pavement in a drunken frenzy20, and she reviled21 us in worse language than I can venture to record. Poor Dolly was frightened and urged me tremblingly to hurry on out of reach of that strident, cursing voice. I was so angry that I would have liked to give the foul-mouthed harridan22 into custody23, but the nervous tremors24 of my companion urged me to the wiser course of leaving bad alone, and we were soon out of earshot of the degraded creature.
“Renny,” whispered the girl in half-terrified tones, “did you hear what she said?”
“What does it matter what she said, Dolly?”
“She cursed me. God wouldn’t allow a curse from a woman like that to mean anything, would He?”
“My dear, you must cure yourself of those fancies. God, you may be sure, wouldn’t use such a discordant25 instrument for His divine thunders. The market value of her curse, you see, she put at a copper.”
She looked up at me with her lips quivering a little. She was evidently upset, and it was some time before I could win her back to her own pretty self.
“I wish the day hadn’t begun like this,” she said in a low voice.
“It shall come in like the lion of March, Dolly, and go out like a lamb—at least, I hope so.”
“So do I,” she whispered, but with the fright still in her eyes.
“Why, Dolly,” I said, “I could almost think you superstitious—and you a Ripley hand!”
She laughed faintly.
“I never knew I was, Renny. But everything seemed bright and peaceful till her horrible voice ground it with dust. I wonder why she said that?”
“Said what, Dolly?”
“That about being thrown over.”
“Now, Doll, I’ll have no more of it. Leave her to her gin palace and set your pretty face to the forest. One, two, three and off we go.”
We caught our train by the tail, as one may say, and took our seats out of breath and merry. The run had brought the bloom to my companion’s face once more and the breeze had ruffled26 and swept her shining hair rebellious27. She seemed a very sweet little possession for a dusty Londoner to enjoy—a charming garden of blossom for the fancies to rove over.
Ah, me; how can I proceed; how write down what follows? The fruit was to fall and never for me. The blossoms of the garden were to be scattered28 underfoot and trodden upon and their sweet perfume embittered29 in death.
As we walked down the platform a voice hailing me made the blood jump in my heart.
“Renny—Renny! What brings you here? Why, what a coincidence! Well met, old fellow! And I say, won’t you introduce me?”
“Miss Mellison—this is my brother.” I almost added a curse under my breath.
I was striving hard for self-command, but my voice would only issue harsh and mechanical. He had overreached me—had watched, of course, and followed secretly in pursuit.
“How delighted I am to meet you,” he said. “Here was I—only lately come to London, Miss Mellison—sick for country air again and looking to nothing better than a lonely tramp through the forest and fate throws a whole armful of roses at me. Are you going there, too? Do let me come with you.”
“Oh, Miss Mellison’s shy in company,” I said. “Let’s each go our way and we can meet at the station this evening.”
“I’m sure you won’t echo that,” said Jason, looking smilingly at the girl. “I see heaven before me and he wants to shut me out. There’s an unnatural31 brother for you.”
“It seems unkind, don’t it, Renny? We hadn’t thought to give you the slip, Mr. Trender. Why, really, till now I didn’t even know of your existence.”
“That’s Renalt’s way, of course. He always wanted to keep the good things to himself. But I’ve been in London quite a long time now, Miss Mellison, and he hasn’t even mentioned me to you.”
Dolly gave me a glance half-perplexed, half-reproachful.
“Why didn’t you, Renny?”
I struggled to beat down the answer that was on my lips: “Because I thought him no fit company for you.”
“I didn’t see why I should,” I said, coolly. “I’m not bound to make my friends his.”
“How rude you are—and your own brother! Don’t mind him, Mr. Trender. He can be very unpleasant when he chooses.”
She smiled at him and my heart sunk. Was it possible that his eyes—his low musical voice—could he be taking her captive already?
“Come,” I said, roughly. “We’re losing the morning chattering32 here, Dolly. You’re not wanted, Jason. That’s the blunt truth.”
Dolly gave a little, pained cry of deprecation.
“Don’t, Renny! It’s horrible of you.”
“I can’t help it,” I said, savagely33. “He’s as obtuse34 as a tortoise. He ought to see he’s in the way.”
“You give me credit for too delicate a discrimination, my good brother. But I’ll go if I’m not wanted.”
“No, you sha’n’t, Mr. Trender. I won’t be a party to such behavior.”
I turned upon the girl with a white face, I could feel.
Her face flushed with anger for the first time in my knowledge of her.
“You can do just as you like, Renny, and spoil my day if you want to. But I haven’t given you the right to order me about as if I was a child.”
Without another word I turned upon my heel and left them. I was furious with a conflicting rage of emotions—detestation of my brother, anger toward Dolly, baffled vanity and mad disappointment. In a moment the sunshine of the day had been tortured into gloom. The sting of that was the stab I felt most keenly in the first tumult36 of my passion. That this soft caprice of sex I had condescended37 to so masterfully in my thoughts should turn upon and defy me! I had not deemed such a thing possible. Had she only played with me after all, coquetting and humoring and rending38 after the manner of her kind? Were it so, she should hear of the mere39 pity that had driven me to patronizing consideration of her claims; should learn of my essential indifference40 to her in a very effectual manner.
I am ashamed to recall the first violence with which, in my mind, I tortured that poor gentle image. As my rage cooled, it wrought41, I must confess, an opposite revenge. Then Dolly became in my eyes a treasure more desirable than ever, now my chance of gaining her seemed shaken. I thought of all her tender moods and pretty ways, so that my eyes filled with tears. I had behaved rudely, had shocked her gentle sense of decorum. And here, by reason of an exaggerated spleen, had I thrown her alone into the company of the very man whose influence over her I most dreaded.
And what would Duke say—Duke, who in noble abrogation42 of his own claims had so pathetically committed to my care this child of his deep unselfish love?
I had been walking rapidly in the opposite direction to that I fancied the other two would take; and now I stopped and faced about, scared with a sudden shock of remorse43.
What a fool, a coward, a traitor44 to my trust I had been! I must retrace45 my steps at once and seek them up and down the forest alleys46. I started off in panic haste, sweating with the terror of what I had done. I plunged47 presently into the woods, and for a couple of hours hurried hither and thither48 without meeting them.
By and by, breaking into the open again, I came upon an inn, favored of tourists, that stood back from a road. I was parched49 and exhausted50, and thought a glass of beer would revive me to a fresh start. Walking into the tap I passed by the open door of the coffee-room, and there inside were they seated at a table together, and a waiter was uncorking a bottle of champagne51 behind them.
Why didn’t I go in then and there? I had found my quarry52 and the game might yet be mine. Ask the stricken lover who will pursue his lady hotly through anxious hours and then, when he sees her at last, will saunter carelessly by as if his heart were cold to her attractions. Some such motive53, in a form infinitely54 baser, was mine. I may call it pride, and hear the wheel creak out a sardonic55 laugh.
“They seem happy enough without me,” my heart said, but my conscience knew the selfishness that must nurse an injury above any sore need of the injurer.
Their voices came to me happy and merry. They had not seen me. I drank my beer and stole outside miserably56 temporizing57 with my duty.
“She sha’n’t escape again,” I thought; “I’ll go a little distance off and watch.”
I waited long, but they never came. At length, stung to desperation, I strode back to the inn and straight into the coffee-room. It was empty. Seeing a waiter, I asked him if the lady and gentleman who had lunched at such a table had left.
“Yes,” he said. He believed the lady and gentleman had gone into the forest by the garden way.
Evening drew on, and at last there was no help for it but to make for the station and catch our usual train back to town.
They were standing on the platform when I reached it. I walked straight up to them. Dolly flushed crimson59 when she saw me and then went pale as a windflower, but she never spoke60 a word.
“Hullo!” said Jason. “The wanderer returned. We’ve had a rare day of it; and you have, too, no doubt.”
“I’ve been looking for you all day. Dolly, I’m sorry I left you in a temper. Please forgive me, dear.”
“Oh, yes,” she said, indifferently and weariedly. “It doesn’t matter.”
“But it does matter to me, Dolly, very much, to keep your good opinion.”
She turned and looked at me with a strange expression, as if she were on the point of bursting into tears, but she only ended with a little formless laugh and looked away again.
“I don’t think you can value my good opinion much, and I’m sure I don’t know why you should.”
The train lunging in at this point stopped our further talk; and, once seated in it, the girl lay back in her corner with closed eyes as if asleep.
Jason sat silent, with folded arms, the lamplight below the shadow cast by his hat brim emphasizing the smile on his firmly curved lips; and I, for my part, sat silent also, for my heart seemed sick unto death.
At the terminus Dolly would have no further escort home. She was tired out, she said, and begged only we would see her into an omnibus and go our ways without her.
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收听单词发音
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1
heartiness
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| 诚实，热心 | |
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2
antennae
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| n.天线；触角 | |
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dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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4
whining
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| n. 抱怨，牢骚 v. 哭诉，发牢骚 | |
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5
mendicant
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| n.乞丐；adj.行乞的 | |
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6
battered
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| adj.磨损的；v.连续猛击；磨损 | |
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7
bonnet
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| n.无边女帽；童帽 | |
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askew
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| adv.斜地；adj.歪斜的 | |
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9
copper
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| n.铜；铜币；铜器；adj.铜(制)的；(紫)铜色的 | |
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10
entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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bibulous
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| adj.高度吸收的，酗酒的 | |
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12
smirk
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| n.得意地笑；v.傻笑；假笑着说 | |
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13
blessings
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| n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福 | |
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14
overdue
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| adj.过期的，到期未付的；早该有的，迟到的 | |
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15
gutters
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| （路边）排水沟( gutter的名词复数 )； 阴沟； （屋顶的）天沟； 贫贱的境地 | |
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16
scraps
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| 油渣 | |
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17
peremptorily
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| adv.紧急地，不容分说地，专横地 | |
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18
moldy
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| adj.发霉的 | |
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19
relic
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| n.神圣的遗物，遗迹，纪念物 | |
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20
frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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21
reviled
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| v.辱骂，痛斥( revile的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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22
harridan
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| n.恶妇；丑老大婆 | |
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23
custody
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| n.监护，照看，羁押，拘留 | |
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24
tremors
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| 震颤( tremor的名词复数 )； 战栗； 震颤声； 大地的轻微震动 | |
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25
discordant
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| adj.不调和的 | |
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26
ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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rebellious
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| adj.造反的，反抗的，难控制的 | |
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28
scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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29
embittered
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| v.使怨恨，激怒( embitter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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30
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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31
unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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32
chattering
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| n. （机器振动发出的）咔嗒声，(鸟等)鸣，啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的，啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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33
savagely
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| adv. 野蛮地，残酷地 | |
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34
obtuse
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| adj.钝的；愚钝的 | |
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hoarsely
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| adv.嘶哑地 | |
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tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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37
condescended
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| 屈尊，俯就( condescend的过去式和过去分词 )； 故意表示和蔼可亲 | |
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38
rending
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| v.撕碎( rend的现在分词 )；分裂；（因愤怒、痛苦等而）揪扯（衣服或头发等）；（声音等）刺破 | |
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39
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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40
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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41
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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42
abrogation
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| n.取消，废除 | |
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43
remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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44
traitor
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| n.叛徒，卖国贼 | |
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45
retrace
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| v.折回；追溯，探源 | |
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46
alleys
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| 胡同，小巷( alley的名词复数 )； 小径 | |
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47
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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48
thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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49
parched
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| adj.焦干的；极渴的；v.（使）焦干 | |
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50
exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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51
champagne
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| n.香槟酒；微黄色 | |
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52
quarry
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| n.采石场；v.采石；费力地找 | |
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53
motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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54
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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55
sardonic
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| adj.嘲笑的，冷笑的，讥讽的 | |
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56
miserably
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| adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地 | |
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57
temporizing
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| v.敷衍( temporize的现在分词 )；拖延；顺应时势；暂时同意 | |
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58
virago
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| n.悍妇 | |
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59
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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60
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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61
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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lumbered
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| 砍伐（lumber的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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