The week that followed was a sad and lonely one to me. My romance was ended—my friend parted from me—my heart ever wincing1 under the torture of self-reproach.
As to the first, it would seem that I should have no great reason for insuperable regret. The situation had been made for, not by me; I was free to let my thoughts revert2 unhampered to the object of my first and only true love.
That was all so; yet I know I brooded over my loss for the time being, as if it were the greatest that could have befallen me. Such is human inconsistency. So he who, vainly seeking some large reward, condescends4 half-disdainfully to a smaller, is altogether disproportionately vexed5 if the latter is unexpectedly denied him.
I went about my work in a hopeless, mechanical manner that only scarcely concealed6 the bitter ache my heart endured. Occasionally, at rare intervals7, I came across Dolly, but formally only and never to exchange a word. Furtively8 glancing at her when this happened, I noticed that she looked pale, and, I thought, not happy, but this may have been nothing but fancy, for my hasty view was generally limited to half-profile. Of me she took no heed9, desiring, apparently10, the absolute close of our old intercourse11, and mere12 pride precluded13 me from making any further effort toward an explanation.
Would that even then I had been wise or noble enough to force the barrier of reserve. God knows but I might have been in time to save her. Yet maybe my attitude was not altogether unjustified. To put me on the footing of a formal stranger was heavy punishment for a fault committed under motives14 that were anything, at least, but base.
With Duke my intercourse was confined to the office and to matters of business. He showed no unfriendly spirit toward me there and no desire for a resumption of our old terms. He never, in public or private, touched upon the subject that was nearest both our hearts, or alluded15 to it in any way. If I was conscious of any melancholy16 shadow towering between us it was not because he sought to lend to its features the gloom that must be enwrapping his own soul.
At last the week ended, and the silence, that had lain black and ominous17 as a snake along it, was awakened18 and reared itself, poisonous for a spring. Yet its voice spoke19 up musical at first.
It was Saturday afternoon, and I was walking home toward my lodgings20 in a very depressed21 frame of mind, when a step came behind me and Duke fell into step alongside.
“Renny,” he said, “I think it right to tell you. I have taken the privilege of an old friend and spoken to Dolly on a certain subject.”
I nodded. The mere fact was a relief to me.
“We could only exchange a few words, but she has promised to come out with me to-morrow; and then, I hope, I shall learn more. What time will you be at home?”
I told him all day, if there was a chance of his turning up.
“Very well,” he said; “then I will call in upon you some time or other. Good-by.”
He seemed to be on the point of going, but to alter his mind, and he suddenly took my hand and pressed it hard.
“Are you lonely, old fellow?”
“Very, Duke—and I deserve to be.”
“It’s for the best? You agree with me?”
“Quite.”
It was the expression of his I ever after remembered with most pathetic heart-sickness and love. I never saw it in his eyes again—never again.
I rose upon the Sunday morning restless still and unrefreshed. An undefinable feeling of ominous expectancy23 would not let me sit quiet or read or do anything but lend my mind to extravagant24 speculations25 and pace the room up and down in nervous irritability26.
At last, thoroughly27 tired out, I threw myself into an easy-chair and dozed28 off from sheer exhaustion29. I could not have slept many minutes, when a clap in my ears awoke me. It might have been an explosive burst of thunder, so loudly it slammed upon my senses. Yet it was nothing more than the closing of the room door.
Then I struggled to my feet, for Duke stood before me, and I saw that his face was white and menacing as death’s own.
“Get up!” he cried, in a harsh, stern voice. “I want to ask you something.”
“What is it?” I muttered.
“She’s gone—that’s all!”
“Gone?”
“She never met me this morning as she promised. I waited an hour—more. Then I grew frightened and went to her lodgings. She had left the evening before, saying she wasn’t coming back. A man came to fetch her and she went away with him. Do you understand?—with him!”
“With whom?” I asked, in a confused, reeling manner; yet I knew.
“I want you to tell me.”
“How can I, Duke?”
“I want you to say what you have done with your trust? There has been something going on of late—some secret kept from me. Where is that brother of yours?”
“I know no more than you do.”
“I shall find out before long. The cunning doesn’t exist that could keep him hidden from me if—if he is a party to this. Why are you silent? I can read it in your eyes. They have met, and it must have been through you.”
“Before God, it wasn’t!”
“Then they have!” He put his hand to his face and staggered as if he had been struck there.
“Here’s a friend, out of all the world! So patronizing to accept the poor little treasure of my life and soul, and so royal to roll it in the mud! Was this a put-up affair between you?”
“You are hateful and unjust!” I cried, stung beyond endurance. “He forced himself upon us last Sunday. I was brutal34, almost, in my efforts to get rid of him. But for some reason or other, Dolly—Miss Mellison—took his side. When I found so, I left them in a huff and repented35 almost immediately. But, though I sought far and near, I never came across them again till evening.”
He listened with a black, gloomy impatience36.
“You acted well, by your own confession,” said he. “You played the part of a true friend and lover by leaving her alone for a moment only in the company of that paragon37.”
“I oughtn’t to, I know.”
He gave a high, grating laugh.
“But, putting me on one side,” I began, when he took me up with the most intense acrid38 bitterness.
“Why can’t I, indeed—you and all your precious kith and kin3? Why did I ever save you from being knocked on the head in that thieves’ garden? I was happy before—God knows I might have been happy in another way now. You’ve proved the viper39 on my hearth40 with a vengeance41. Put you on one side? Ah, I dare say that would suit you well—to shirk the responsibility of your own act and leave the suffering to others.”
“I have suffered, Duke, and always shall. I won’t gainsay42 you—but this hurts me perhaps only one degree less than it does you. Why put the worst construction on it?”
He gave another cruel laugh.
“Let’s have your theory of her vanishing without a word to me,” he said.
“At least you can’t be certain that it—it was my brother.”
“How perspicacious43 of you! You don’t think so yourself, do you? Or that I should have meekly44 accepted that woman’s statement without some inquiry45 as to the appearance of the interesting stranger?”
“Let’s stop this double-faced foolery. I want his address of you.”
“I haven’t got it, you know.”
“You can’t guess at it?”
“Not possibly. What would you do if you had it?”
“What do you think? Call and offer my congratulations, of course.”
“Don’t be a madman. You know nothing for certain. Wait and see if she doesn’t turn up at the office as usual to-morrow.”
“Lost!” he cried. “In my heart I know it.”
Did I not in mine? It had rung in my ears all night. I took a step toward him, greatly moved by his despairing, broken tone, but he waved me back fiercely.
“I curse the day,” he cried in bitter grief, “that ever I came across you. I would have let you rob me—that was nothing to her happiness; but now——”
“Let him look to himself,” he went on after a pause, in which he had mastered his emotion. “After to-morrow—I will wait till then—but afterward—the world isn’t wide enough to keep us apart. Better for him to run from an uncubbed tigress than this twisted cripple!”
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
wincing
|
|
| 赶紧避开，畏缩( wince的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
revert
|
|
| v.恢复，复归，回到 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
kin
|
|
| n.家族，亲属，血缘关系；adj.亲属关系的，同类的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
condescends
|
|
| 屈尊，俯就( condescend的第三人称单数 )； 故意表示和蔼可亲 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
vexed
|
|
| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
concealed
|
|
| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
intervals
|
|
| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
furtively
|
|
| adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
heed
|
|
| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
apparently
|
|
| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
intercourse
|
|
| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
mere
|
|
| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
precluded
|
|
| v.阻止( preclude的过去式和过去分词 )；排除；妨碍；使…行不通 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
motives
|
|
| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
alluded
|
|
| 提及，暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
melancholy
|
|
| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
ominous
|
|
| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
awakened
|
|
| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
lodgings
|
|
| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
depressed
|
|
| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
wrung
|
|
| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
expectancy
|
|
| n.期望，预期，（根据概率统计求得）预期数额 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
extravagant
|
|
| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
speculations
|
|
| n.投机买卖( speculation的名词复数 )；思考；投机活动；推断 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
irritability
|
|
| n.易怒 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
thoroughly
|
|
| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
dozed
|
|
| v.打盹儿，打瞌睡( doze的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
exhaustion
|
|
| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
swerve
|
|
| v.突然转向，背离；n．转向，弯曲，背离 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
gasped
|
|
| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
dreaded
|
|
| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
snarled
|
|
| v.（指狗）吠，嗥叫， （人）咆哮( snarl的过去式和过去分词 )；咆哮着说，厉声地说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
brutal
|
|
| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
repented
|
|
| 对（自己的所为）感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
impatience
|
|
| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
paragon
|
|
| n.模范，典型 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
acrid
|
|
| adj.辛辣的，尖刻的，刻薄的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
viper
|
|
| n.毒蛇；危险的人 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
hearth
|
|
| n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
vengeance
|
|
| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
gainsay
|
|
| v.否认，反驳 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
perspicacious
|
|
| adj.聪颖的，敏锐的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
meekly
|
|
| adv.温顺地，逆来顺受地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
inquiry
|
|
| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
bantering
|
|
| adj.嘲弄的v.开玩笑，说笑，逗乐( banter的现在分词 )；（善意地）取笑，逗弄 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
ferocious
|
|
| adj.凶猛的，残暴的，极度的，十分强烈的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
wailing
|
|
| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的现在分词 )；沱 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
savage
|
|
| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |