Sir Robert Linne, as he left the club, had no thought but to sever1 the tangle2 of things by cutting his own throat. He intended to do this agreeably and decently, and to step off the world into chaos3 with as little inconvenience to himself and to others as was compatible with the severity of the deed.
After considerable reflection, the plan that suggested itself to him was to proceed to some riverside station, hire a wherry, work his way down stream an indefinite distance; and then, sitting on the thwarts5, neatly6 and philosophically7 put a weight in his pocket and a bullet in his head, and so overboard.
Ordinarily, he permitted himself some nausea8 and ill-temper after a night’s debauch9. This morning he would have none of them.
“It would be churlish,” he thought, “to hand in my credentials10 with an ill-grace. If I have represented his sable11 majesty12 faithfully, he has his own good reasons, no doubt, for recalling me.”
Therefore, to prove how the will can overcrow the nerve, he whistled on his way, and was very affable and kindly13 to all his fellows with whom he came in contact. They were not many at that early hour. An amazed roysterer waking on a step; a kennel-scraper driving his broom before him at a shambling trot14; Giles the apprentice15, yawning over the shutters16, and a pretty mop-squeezer or so who affected17 a demure18 propriety19 as he waved a kiss to them in passing, and blushed and giggled20 when he had gone by.
He turned into St. James’s Park, where Moll and Meg were tethering their cows at the sweet-stuff stalls; and bought and drank a glassful of white innocence22 with a sort of pleasant bravado23 of geniality24. It made him feel good for the moment—pastoral and boyish once more.
“What’s your wish in life, Molly?” he said, turning with a smile to the girl who had supplied him.
“Sure your honour’s quizzing!”
“No, I’m not. In truth now?”
He burst out laughing and then looked grave.
“Your ambition hath a goose-flight. What would you give for the treat?”
“Anything but my good name.”
“I stand corrected, sweetling. Here, take your golden egg, and never part with your goose.”
He took her chin in his hand.
“Bite,” he said, and clipped a guinea between her white teeth.
“That shall go to my credit,” he said to himself as he walked off; and made his way slowly to his rooms in Whitehall.
Therein he did not remain long, but came out very shortly, a pocket of his riding-coat bulged26 in a sinister27 manner.
He went down the Strand28 and Fleet Street, at a faster pace now, passed Temple Bar, with its three gaunt spikes29 yet shooting from the topmost arch, like dry stalks from which the ugly blossom had long withered30 and fallen, and turning into the cloisteral recesses31 of the Temple, fell loitering again, moved by the silence and antiquity32 of the place.
It was a fresh-blown morning, sweet with virginal sunshine, and the old haunted walls and windows of the courts seemed elbowing one another in eagerness to obtain largesse33 of light.
Glancing upward, he read on a dial set in the stained red brick wall of a house in the Inner Temple—“Begone about your business.”
“A sexton’s motto,” he murmured. “Must leisure be always a stolen happiness, and every clock a treadmill35 for Time to toil36 on? But I accept the churlish reminder,” and he made his way, with a melancholy37 smile, to a rearward gate in the river wall, and came out upon a flight of stone steps, that went down through ooze38 and slime to the water level.
The muddy stream, as far as the view could reach, was all patched with sunshine, like a beggar’s fustian39 with cloth of gold. Life was awake on the flood, but in such enchanted40 guise41 that for the moment his eyes filled with tears. Wherries shot the ripples42, like bobbins traversing a loom43 of silver tissue; hay barges44, soft apple-green along the thwarts and stacked high with yellow trusses, slid placidly45 past until the blue distance covered them with a haze46 like glass. From the happy shoreward mists, voices and anvils47 chimed in intricate harmony, but so subdued48 by distance as to seem the veritable bells of elf-land.
Sir Robert gazed in that entrancement of the spirit that is impersonal49 and momentarily divine—that comes of a complete surrender to influences outside the bourne of Nature. A voice hailing him, brought him back to the ugly prose of being.
“Boat, sir, boat!”
“Hi! my lad. Pull in here!”
The wherry came alongside the steps, and the man touched his hat.
“Waterman, what’s the value of your boat?”
“She’s not to sell, sir.”
“Perhaps she’s to buy. I’ll give you ten guineas for her.”
“I’m at your service, sir.”
“And damn your company, say I. I don’t want it. If you’re for selling, there’s my offer. If you’re not, I’ll go elsewhere.”
“Short and sweet. What d’ye want of her?”
“That’s my business. Mind you your own, and——”
He brought a handful of gold out of his pocket as he spoke55. There was the sum he had named and a little over.
The man hesitated—not from any doubt as to his own advantage in the bargain, but from a dread56 that he might be lending himself to some compromising transaction. The glitter of the pieces decided57 him. He stepped forward, hollowed his two hands together, and looked up greedily.
“Take it a bargain,” he said. “I’m for your honour.”
A moment later he was holding the wherry while the baronet climbed in, sat down and unshipped the sculls.
The stern swung out into the stream. At that instant a figure came softly and hastily through the doorway59, with a finger on its lips. It slipped a crown into the waterman’s ready palm. The prow60 of the wherry, held by the latter, jerked and bobbed and settled steady. He in the boat was at wrestle61 with the sculls.
“Let her go!” he cried, without looking round.
The waterman gave the craft a vigorous shove, and stepped back.
“What’s in the wind with you, my dandy galloot?” he murmured watching, hand on hip58; and—“Your honour makes better time with tongue-pad than with sculls,” he added with a grin. And, indeed, it must be confessed that Sir Robert was no accomplished62 oarsman.
However, he shuffled63 his craft out into mid-stream somehow, being indifferent to the manner; and then he poised64 his sculls, letting the boat drift down with the tide which was running to sea.
Even now he could hardly take himself with that seriousness that the nature of his intention would seem to demand.
“Did ever man,” he said aloud, “meet the devil half-way with such a sense of humour?”
“You have none,” said a creaking voice in the bows.
He twisted his head about—scarcely marvelling65 at the response.
“So you have taken me at my word?” he said.
“You think I am the devil—eh?”
“You flatter yourself. A monarch66 to condescend67 to the practical executive! I take you for one of his imps52.”
“Well, sir—I don’t despair of you. I gave the waterman a douceur, and slipped in as you pushed off.”
“So, you are not the devil?”
“No; only one of his imps—an attorney.”
“Then I am lost indeed.”
“Before I—eh?—just so, my friend. Now, balance the pros50 and cons4, I pray. Here am I, going to damnation, and thinking myself equipped with all decent loneliness for the journey. I turn my head, and find——”
“Counsel, waiting to argue the case for you. Congratulate yourself. Heaven is——”
“Very well (take care of that barge).—I revert69 to my original postulate70. You said—‘Did ever man meet the devil half-way with such a sense of humour?’—and I answered: ‘You have none.’”
“You did—and I throw the word in your teeth. No man, I make bold to say, has more than I.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“My mission in life was to be foil to the virtuous72. ’Tis a costly73 business, and not to be maintained save with luck. Luck has cold-shouldered me. I have staked and lost my last penny, and so my mission ends; and I jump off the cliff of the world with a light heart.”
“And with a poor sense of humour. I repeat it.”
“Pardon me. You said with no sense of humour.”
“Well—I qualify that.”
“That is a concession74 from a lawyer. Now, has it occurred to you that you have obtruded75 yourself upon a reckless and desperate man?—that, to a lost soul standing76 on the brink77 of Cocytus, it may seem a small matter, and the humouring of a very trifling78 aggravation79, to push a fellow-traveller over into the gulf80 before he leaps himself?—At this moment it suggests itself to me that no ghostly letter of credit would serve me half so well down there as an attorney in esse. The devil needs lawyers to argue his case. Generally they evade81 him at the last by some technicality. Shall I take you, to prove at least that suicides come not, without exception, of the humourless class?”
“I made no such statement. But this I say—that any man who contemplates82 self-destruction has, for the time being, lost his sense of humour.”
“I am in no hurry. Why?”
“Because he is taking himself with that exaggerated seriousness which is the trade-mark of the bore.”
“Is a suicide a bore?”
“Certainly. He is a man with a grievance83, who, professing84 to accept life as a game of chances, cries out if the cards are against him. His tone may be clamorous85 or subdued; but it always carries the same refrain. At a certain point he would almost resent good fortune, for he hath persuaded himself that he is born the butt86 of Providence87; and his vanity is such that he would not have even a diseased judgment88 of his refuted. Vanity, vanity—he is the very maggot of it.”
“Continue, continue, my friend. This is not Coke or Lyttleton.”
“Sir, I will continue. You decry89 my profession; but what doth it teach a man, if not to look below the surface? The suicide is he who will not take his own destinies in hand; for at heart he is a sensuous90 fellow, who hath subordinated his instinct for combativeness91 to a poor sentiment of fatality92. In a world of noble struggle he would lie down and ignobly93 sleep. Thus, like a distempered cur, he turns and gnaws94 his own flesh; or, weakly despairing, stings himself to death like the fire-ringed scorpion95.”
The baronet sat amazed.
“This is no lawyer,” he cried; “but a Wesley come to judgment!”
The dried-stick of a man in the bows drew in his breath, and leaned forward, with moist eyes, the lids whereof were like dead sea-weed.
“Oh, sir!” he cried, in a full voice, “let me entreat96 you—see the game out. If I lose and am disqualified, there is no whit21 the less interest in the play that goes on. There are plenty to continue it—plenty to profit by the lesson of my downfall. From being pupil I have become teacher; and shall I by self-destruction diminish the number of that blest company?”
“My good sir,” said the baronet, with some emotion (and, “Pull your right scull,” said the lawyer anxiously), “you have a great advantage of me; but I respect and honour your sentiments. Why I should find you here, or why you should take an interest in my fate, passes my comprehension.”
“No doubt,” said the other.
“I know you, I think, by sight,” said Sir Robert. “You are a member of ‘Whitelaw’s,’ if I am not greatly mistaken.”
“I was elected five years ago. Recently, I have presumed to take a watchful97 interest in your fortunes, as they were presented to me by report and by actual observation. I have sorely marked you—I crave98 your indulgence—in your race to the devil.”
“I have a good mount. I shall win.”
“Sir! sir!”
“Why, what a to-do is this! Do you disparage99 your master? I am no attorney; yet I could prove black the very moral of innocence.”
“As how?”
“As thus. To desire—conscious of unworthiness—one’s own salvation100, is to aim at self-aggrandisement. To be careless of one’s own salvation, is to be unselfish. To be opposed to one’s own salvation, is to be actually virtuous. The devil may be considered the Apostle of this creed—ergo, the devil teaches virtue101.”
“Well, and well. I take you on clause two of your reasoning. If, in being careless of your own salvation, you are careless of that of others (and surely it so follows, having regard to precept102 and influence), you are selfish. But, if you think of others, you are not careless of your own; for no man would of his true generosity103 help his neighbour to that which he himself scorns. Now, the manner of your purposed exit; the unexampled sweetness, sir, with which you have met my most impertinent intrusion, convince me that you are far from feeling a careless indifference104 to your fellows.”
“I have a measure of good-humour. I would not kick the stool from under my neighbour because I sit upon a stone. But the first test of humour is to know itself bested; to succumb105 to the finer wit—and that the devil hath shown.”
“Disprove him. He hath stood so long in his own shadow that he fancies himself a giant. He tiptoes against the setting sun, and his dead image seems to embrace the world. Upset him, and he lies but a pigmy.”
“My friend, he is not to be felled but by the stone of godliness. That I never possessed106, for it is not purchasable. And if it were, my pouch107 is empty.”
“It was my all—I swear it. And now I have bought Charon’s ferry-boat, and future souls must swim. Not much consideration for my neighbour in that.”
“I greatly regret—nothing.”
“It shall be a lesson to my self-sufficiency. Well, sir, I must play a better card.”
“If you please.”
“Run the boat into the hard there, and accompany me to my office. I will hand you the title-deeds of an estate that shall give you a new lease of life.”
点击收听单词发音
1 sever | |
v.切开,割开;断绝,中断 | |
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2 tangle | |
n.纠缠;缠结;混乱;v.(使)缠绕;变乱 | |
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3 chaos | |
n.混乱,无秩序 | |
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4 cons | |
n.欺骗,骗局( con的名词复数 )v.诈骗,哄骗( con的第三人称单数 ) | |
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5 thwarts | |
阻挠( thwart的第三人称单数 ); 使受挫折; 挫败; 横过 | |
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6 neatly | |
adv.整洁地,干净地,灵巧地,熟练地 | |
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7 philosophically | |
adv.哲学上;富有哲理性地;贤明地;冷静地 | |
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8 nausea | |
n.作呕,恶心;极端的憎恶(或厌恶) | |
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9 debauch | |
v.使堕落,放纵 | |
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10 credentials | |
n.证明,资格,证明书,证件 | |
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11 sable | |
n.黑貂;adj.黑色的 | |
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12 majesty | |
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权 | |
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13 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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14 trot | |
n.疾走,慢跑;n.老太婆;现成译本;(复数)trots:腹泻(与the 连用);v.小跑,快步走,赶紧 | |
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15 apprentice | |
n.学徒,徒弟 | |
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16 shutters | |
百叶窗( shutter的名词复数 ); (照相机的)快门 | |
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17 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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18 demure | |
adj.严肃的;端庄的 | |
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19 propriety | |
n.正当行为;正当;适当 | |
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20 giggled | |
v.咯咯地笑( giggle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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21 whit | |
n.一点,丝毫 | |
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22 innocence | |
n.无罪;天真;无害 | |
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23 bravado | |
n.虚张声势,故作勇敢,逞能 | |
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24 geniality | |
n.和蔼,诚恳;愉快 | |
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25 gilt | |
adj.镀金的;n.金边证券 | |
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26 bulged | |
凸出( bulge的过去式和过去分词 ); 充满; 塞满(某物) | |
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27 sinister | |
adj.不吉利的,凶恶的,左边的 | |
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28 strand | |
vt.使(船)搁浅,使(某人)困于(某地) | |
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29 spikes | |
n.穗( spike的名词复数 );跑鞋;(防滑)鞋钉;尖状物v.加烈酒于( spike的第三人称单数 );偷偷地给某人的饮料加入(更多)酒精( 或药物);把尖状物钉入;打乱某人的计划 | |
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30 withered | |
adj. 枯萎的,干瘪的,(人身体的部分器官)因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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31 recesses | |
n.壁凹( recess的名词复数 );(工作或业务活动的)中止或暂停期间;学校的课间休息;某物内部的凹形空间v.把某物放在墙壁的凹处( recess的第三人称单数 );将(墙)做成凹形,在(墙)上做壁龛;休息,休会,休庭 | |
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32 antiquity | |
n.古老;高龄;古物,古迹 | |
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33 largesse | |
n.慷慨援助,施舍 | |
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34 bout | |
n.侵袭,发作;一次(阵,回);拳击等比赛 | |
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35 treadmill | |
n.踏车;单调的工作 | |
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36 toil | |
vi.辛劳工作,艰难地行动;n.苦工,难事 | |
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37 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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38 ooze | |
n.软泥,渗出物;vi.渗出,泄漏;vt.慢慢渗出,流露 | |
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39 fustian | |
n.浮夸的;厚粗棉布 | |
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40 enchanted | |
adj. 被施魔法的,陶醉的,入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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41 guise | |
n.外表,伪装的姿态 | |
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42 ripples | |
逐渐扩散的感觉( ripple的名词复数 ) | |
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43 loom | |
n.织布机,织机;v.隐现,(危险、忧虑等)迫近 | |
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44 barges | |
驳船( barge的名词复数 ) | |
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45 placidly | |
adv.平稳地,平静地 | |
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46 haze | |
n.霾,烟雾;懵懂,迷糊;vi.(over)变模糊 | |
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47 anvils | |
n.(铁)砧( anvil的名词复数 );砧骨 | |
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48 subdued | |
adj. 屈服的,柔和的,减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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49 impersonal | |
adj.无个人感情的,与个人无关的,非人称的 | |
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50 pros | |
abbr.prosecuting 起诉;prosecutor 起诉人;professionals 自由职业者;proscenium (舞台)前部n.赞成的意见( pro的名词复数 );赞成的理由;抵偿物;交换物 | |
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51 spat | |
n.口角,掌击;v.发出呼噜呼噜声 | |
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52 imps | |
n.(故事中的)小恶魔( imp的名词复数 );小魔鬼;小淘气;顽童 | |
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53 gateway | |
n.大门口,出入口,途径,方法 | |
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54 barter | |
n.物物交换,以货易货,实物交易 | |
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55 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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56 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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57 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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58 hip | |
n.臀部,髋;屋脊 | |
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59 doorway | |
n.门口,(喻)入门;门路,途径 | |
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60 prow | |
n.(飞机)机头,船头 | |
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61 wrestle | |
vi.摔跤,角力;搏斗;全力对付 | |
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62 accomplished | |
adj.有才艺的;有造诣的;达到了的 | |
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63 shuffled | |
v.洗(纸牌)( shuffle的过去式和过去分词 );拖着脚步走;粗心地做;摆脱尘世的烦恼 | |
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64 poised | |
a.摆好姿势不动的 | |
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65 marvelling | |
v.惊奇,对…感到惊奇( marvel的现在分词 ) | |
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66 monarch | |
n.帝王,君主,最高统治者 | |
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67 condescend | |
v.俯就,屈尊;堕落,丢丑 | |
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68 blasphemy | |
n.亵渎,渎神 | |
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69 revert | |
v.恢复,复归,回到 | |
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70 postulate | |
n.假定,基本条件;vt.要求,假定 | |
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71 killing | |
n.巨额利润;突然赚大钱,发大财 | |
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72 virtuous | |
adj.有品德的,善良的,贞洁的,有效力的 | |
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73 costly | |
adj.昂贵的,价值高的,豪华的 | |
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74 concession | |
n.让步,妥协;特许(权) | |
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75 obtruded | |
v.强行向前,强行,强迫( obtrude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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76 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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77 brink | |
n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘,边沿 | |
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78 trifling | |
adj.微不足道的;没什么价值的 | |
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79 aggravation | |
n.烦恼,恼火 | |
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80 gulf | |
n.海湾;深渊,鸿沟;分歧,隔阂 | |
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81 evade | |
vt.逃避,回避;避开,躲避 | |
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82 contemplates | |
深思,细想,仔细考虑( contemplate的第三人称单数 ); 注视,凝视; 考虑接受(发生某事的可能性); 深思熟虑,沉思,苦思冥想 | |
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83 grievance | |
n.怨愤,气恼,委屈 | |
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84 professing | |
声称( profess的现在分词 ); 宣称; 公开表明; 信奉 | |
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85 clamorous | |
adj.吵闹的,喧哗的 | |
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86 butt | |
n.笑柄;烟蒂;枪托;臀部;v.用头撞或顶 | |
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87 providence | |
n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝 | |
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88 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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89 decry | |
v.危难,谴责 | |
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90 sensuous | |
adj.激发美感的;感官的,感觉上的 | |
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91 combativeness | |
n.好战 | |
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92 fatality | |
n.不幸,灾祸,天命 | |
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93 ignobly | |
卑贱地,下流地 | |
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94 gnaws | |
咬( gnaw的第三人称单数 ); (长时间) 折磨某人; (使)苦恼; (长时间)危害某事物 | |
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95 scorpion | |
n.蝎子,心黑的人,蝎子鞭 | |
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96 entreat | |
v.恳求,恳请 | |
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97 watchful | |
adj.注意的,警惕的 | |
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98 crave | |
vt.渴望得到,迫切需要,恳求,请求 | |
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99 disparage | |
v.贬抑,轻蔑 | |
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100 salvation | |
n.(尤指基督)救世,超度,拯救,解困 | |
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101 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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102 precept | |
n.戒律;格言 | |
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103 generosity | |
n.大度,慷慨,慷慨的行为 | |
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104 indifference | |
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
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105 succumb | |
v.屈服,屈从;死 | |
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106 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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107 pouch | |
n.小袋,小包,囊状袋;vt.装...入袋中,用袋运输;vi.用袋送信件 | |
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108 vessel | |
n.船舶;容器,器皿;管,导管,血管 | |
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109 nought | |
n./adj.无,零 | |
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110 groaned | |
v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 );发牢骚;抱怨;受苦 | |
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