Clad in her filmy cream lace gown, Gail walked slowly into her boudoir, and closed the door, and sank upon her divan1. She did not stop to-night to let down her hair and change to her dainty negligee, nor to punctiliously2 straighten the room, nor to turn on the beautiful green light; instead, with all the electric bulbs blazing, she sat with her chin in her hand, and, with her body perfectly3 in repose4, tried to study the whirl of her mind.
She was shaken, she knew that, shaken and stirred as she had never been before. Something in the depths of her had leaped up into life, and cried out in agony, and would not stop crying until it was satisfied.
The hardest part of the whirl from which to untangle herself was the tremendous overwhelming attraction there had been between them. The red wave of consciousness rose up over her neck and crimsoned5 her cheeks and flushed her very brow, as the nearness of him came back to her. Again she could feel that marvellous welding of their palms, the tingle6 of her shoulder where he had accidentally brushed against it; the music of his voice, which had set up that ecstatic answering vibration7 within her. She felt again his warm breath upon her cheek, the magnetic thrill of his arms as he enfolded her, the breathless joy which had ensued when 222he had drawn8 her to his breast, and held and held and held her there, as an indivisible part of him, forever and forever. The burning pressure of his lips upon hers! That breathless, intolerable ecstasy9 when he had folded her closer, and still closer! A sense of shame flooded her that she had yielded so much, that she had been so helpless in the might and the strength and the sweep—
She raised her head with a jerk, and rubbed her hands over her eyes. Why there had been no such episode! He had not folded her in his arms, nor drawn her to him, nor kissed her lips; though her breath was fluttering and her wrists burning in the bare memory of it; he had only drawn quite near to her, and held her hand; and once he had kissed it! How then had she reproduced all these sensations so vividly11? Then indeed, shame came to her, as she realised how much more completely than he could know, she had, in one breathless instant, given herself to him!
It was that shame which came to her rescue, which set her upon her defence, which started her to the seeking for her justification12. She had refused him, even at the very height of her most intense yielding. And why? She must go deeper into the detail of that. She had to grope her way slowly and painfully back through the quivering maze13 of her senses, to recall the point at which she had been taken rudely from the present into the future.
“I need you to walk hand in hand with me about the greatest work in the world!” That was it; the greatest work in the world! And what was that work? To live and teach ritual in place of religion; to turn worship into a social observance; to use helpless belief as a ladder of ambition; to reduce faith to words, and 223hope to a recitation, and charity to an obligation; to make pomp and ceremony a substitute for conscience, and to interpose a secretary between the human heart and God!
For just an instant Gail’s eyelids14 dropped, her long brown lashes15 curved upon her cheeks, while beneath them her eyes glinted, and a smile touched the corners of her lips; then she was serious again. No, she had decided16 wisely. They could not spend a lifetime in the ecstasy of touch. Between those rare moments of the rapture17 of love must come stern hours of waking. Then she must live a constant lie, she must battle down her own ideals and her own thoughts and her own worship and subscribe18 to a dead shell of pretence19, which she had come to hold in contempt and even loathing20. She must appear constantly before the world as subscribing21 to and upholding a sham10 which had been formulated22 as thoroughly23 as the multiplication24 table; and to do all these things she would be compelled to throttle25 her own dear Deity26, with whom she had been friends since her babyhood, to whom she could go at any hour with pure faith and simple confidence; always in love and never in fear!
Yes, she had chosen wisely. Through all the years to come there would be clash upon clash, until they would grow so far apart spiritually that no human yearning27, no matter how long nor how strong, could bridge the chasm28. She was humiliated29 to be compelled to confess to herself that the tremendous fire which had consumed them, that the tremendous attraction which had drawn them together, that the tremendous ecstasy which had enveloped30 them, was by no means of the soul or the spirit or the mind. And yet, how potent31 that attraction had been, how it left her still quivering 224with longing32. Did she despise that tendency in herself? Something within her answered defiantly33 “No!” Still defiantly, she exulted34 in it; for many instincts which the Creator has planted in humanity have been made sinful by teaching alone. Moreover, a further search brought a deserved approbation35 to the rescue of her self-respect. Mighty36 as had been the call upon her from without and from within, she had resisted it, and driven it back, and leashed it firmly with the greater strength of her faith! She gloried that she had not been weak in this stormy test, and her eyes softened37 with a smile of gratitude38. Poor Tod!
There was a knock on the door, and Gail smiled again as she said:
“Come in.”
Mrs. Helen Davies entered, tall and stately in her boudoir frills and ruffles39. She gazed searchingly at Gail’s now calm face, with its delicately tinted40 oval cheeks and its curved red lips and its brown eyes, into which a measure of peace had come. The face did not tell her as much as she had expected to find in it, but the fact that Gail had so far deviated41 from her unbreakable habit of piling into a negligee and putting every minute trace of disorder42 to rights before she did anything else, was sufficient indication that something unusual had occurred. Aunt Helen sat down in front of Gail and prepared to enact43 the rôle of conscientious44 mother.
“Doctor Boyd proposed to you to-night,” she charged, with affectionate authority.
“Yes, Aunt Helen,” and Gail began to pull pins out of her hair.
A worried expression crossed the brow of Aunt Helen.
225“Did you accept him?” and she fairly quivered with anxiety.
“No, Aunt Helen.” Quite calmly, piling more hairpins45 and still more into the little tray by her side, and shaking down her rippling46 waves of hair.
Aunt Helen sighed a deep sigh of relief, and smiled her approval.
“I was quite hopeful that you would not,” and the tone was one of distinct pleasure. “Doctor Boyd is a most estimable young man, but I should not at all consider him a desirable match for you.”
Gail walked across to her dressing47 table, and rang for her maid. Something within her flared48 up in defence of Tod, but the face which, an instant later, she turned toward the older woman, had its eyelids down and the eyes glinting through that curving fringe and the little smile at the corners of the lips.
“Of course, he is perfectly eligible,” went on Aunt Helen, studying the young man in question much as if he were on the auction49 block, and guaranteed sound in every limb. “While there would be no possibility of gaiety, and no freedom of action for even an instant, with the eyes of every one so critically fixed50 on a rector’s wife, still she would have the entrée into the most exclusive circles, and would have a social position of such dignified51 respectability as could be secured in no other way.” Interested in her own analysis, and perfectly placid52 because, after all, Gail had refused him, she did not notice that Gail, now brushing her hair, stopped in the middle of a downward stroke, and then fell to brushing furiously. “Moreover, the young man is highly ambitious,” went on Aunt Helen. “The movement for the magnificent new cathedral had lagged 226for years before he came; but he had not been here twelve months before he had the entire congregation ambitious to build the most magnificent cathedral the world has ever seen. My dear child, you’ll break your hair with that rough brushing! Moreover, the new rectory must, of course, be built in keeping with the cathedral, and no multi-millionaire could erect53 a home more palatial54 than Doctor Boyd will occupy.”
Gail unfastened her necklace.
“However, Gail dear, you have shown a degree of carefulness which I am delighted to find in you,” complimented Aunt Helen. “If you handle all your affairs so sensibly, you have a brilliant future before you.”
“I must be an awful worry to you, Aunt Helen,” observed Gail, and walking over, she slipped her arm around Mrs. Davies’ neck, and kissed her, and looked around for her chocolate box.
Gail’s maid came in, and Mrs. Davies bade her sister’s niece good-night most cordially, and retired55 with a great load off her mind; and half an hour later the lights in Gail’s pretty little suite56 went out.
If she lay long hours looking out at the pale stars, if, in the midst of her calm logic57, she suddenly buried her face in her pillows and sobbed58 silently, if, toward morning, she awoke with a little cry to find her face and her hands hot, all these things were but normal and natural. It is enough to know that she came to her breakfast bright-eyed and rosy-cheeked and smiling with the pleasant greetings of the day, and picked up the papers casually60, and lit upon the newest sensation of the free and entirely61 uncurbed metropolitan62 press!
The free and entirely uncurbed metropolitan press had found Vedder Court, and had made it the sudden 227focus of the public eye. Those few who were privileged to know intimately the workings of that adroit64 master of the public welfare, Tim Corman, could have recognised clearly his fine hand in the blaze of notoriety which obscure Vedder Court had suddenly received. After having endured the contamination and contagion65 of the Market Square Church tenements66 for so many years, the city had, all at once, discovered that the condition was unbearable67! The free and entirely uncurbed metropolitan press had taken up, with great enthusiasm, the work of poking68 the finger of scorn at Vedder Court. It had published photographs of the disreputable old sots of buildings, and, where they did not seem to drip enough, the artists had retouched them. It had sent budding young Poes and Dickenses down there to write up the place in all the horrors which a lurid69 fancy could portray70, or a hectic71 mind conceive; and it had given special prominence72 to the masterly effort of one litterateur, who never went near the place, but, after dancing ably until three A.M., had dashed up to his lonely room, and had wrapped a wet towel around his head, and had conceived of the scene as it would look in absolute darkness, with one pale lamp gleaming on the Doréian faces of the passersby73! It had sent the sob59 sisters there in shoals to interview the down-trodden, and, above all things, it had put prominently before the public eye the immense profit which Market Square Church wrung74 from this organised misery75!
Gail turned sick at heart as she read. Uncle Jim permitted four morning papers to come to the house, and the dripping details, with many variations, were in all of them. She glanced over toward the rectory and the dignified old church standing76 beyond it, with 228mingled indignation and humiliation77. A sort of ignominy seemed to have descended78 upon it, like a man whose features seem coarsened from the instant he is doomed79 to wear prison stripes; and the fact which she particularly resented was that a portion of the disgrace of Market Square Church seemed to have descended upon her. She could not make out why this should be; but it was. Aunt Grace Sargent, bustling80 about to see that Gail was supplied with more kinds of delicacies81 than she could possibly sample, saw that unmistakable look of distress82 on Gail’s face, and went straight up to her sister Helen, the creases83 of worry deep in her brow.
Mrs. Helen Davies was having her coffee in bed, and she continued that absorbing ceremony while she considered her sister’s news.
“I did not think that Gail was so deeply affected84 by the occurrences of last night,” she mused85; “but of course she could not sleep, and she’s full of sympathy this morning, and afraid that maybe she made a mistake, and feels perfectly wretched.”
Grace Sargent sat right down.
“Did the rector propose?” she breathlessly inquired.
Mrs. Davies poured herself some more hot coffee, and nodded.
“She refused him.”
“Oh!” and acute distress settled on Grace Sargent’s brow, with such a firm clutch that it threatened to homestead the location. Mrs. Sargent shared the belief of the Reverend Smith Boyd’s mother, that Smith Boyd was the finest young man in the world; and Gail’s aunt was speechless with dismay and disappointment.
“I have ceased to worry about Gail’s future,” went on Mrs. Davies complacently86. “It is her present condition 229about which I am most concerned. She is so conscientious and self-analytical that she may distress herself over this affair, and I must get in Arly and Lucile, and plan a series of gaieties which will keep her mind occupied from morning until night.”
In consequence of this kindly87 decision, Gail was plunged88 into gaiety until she loathed89 the scrape of a violin! The mere90 fact that she had no time to think did not remove the fact that she had a great deal to think about, and the gaiety only added dismally91 to her troubled burden.
Meanwhile, the free and entirely uncurbed metropolitan press went merrily onward92 with its righteous Vedder Court crusade, until it had the public indignation properly aroused. The public indignation rose to such a pitch that it almost meant something. There is not the slightest doubt that, if the public had not been busy with affairs of its own, and if it had not been in the habit of leaving everything to be seen to by the people financially interested, and if it had not consisted chiefly of a few active vocal93 cords, there is not the slightest doubt, it is worth repeating, that the public might have done something about Vedder Court! As things were, it grew most satisfactorily indignant. It talked of nothing else, in the subways and on the “L’s” and on the surface lines, and on the cindery94 commuter95 trains; and on the third day of the agitation96, before something else should happen to shake the populace to the very foundation of its being, the city authorities condemned97 the Vedder Court property as unsanitary, inhuman98, and unsafe, as a menace to the public morals, health and life, and as a blot99 upon civilisation100; this last being a fancy touch added by Tim Corman himself, who, in his old age, had a tendency to link poetry to his 230practicability. In consequence of this decision, the city authorities ordered Vedder Court to be forthwith torn down, demolished101, and removed from the face of the earth; thereby102 justifying103, after all, the existence of the free and entirely uncurbed metropolitan press! The exact psychological moment had been chosen. The public, caught at the very height of its frenzy104, applauded, and ate its dinner in virtuous105 satisfaction; and Gail Sargent’s distress crystallised into a much easier thing to handle; just plain anger!
And so Market Square Church had persisted in clutching its greedy hold on a commercial advantage so vile63 that even a notoriously corrupt106 city government had ordered it destroyed! Her mind was immensely relieved about the Reverend Smith Boyd. She had chosen well, and wisely!
点击收听单词发音
1 divan | |
n.长沙发;(波斯或其他东方诗人的)诗集 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
2 punctiliously | |
参考例句: |
|
|
3 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
4 repose | |
v.(使)休息;n.安息 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
5 crimsoned | |
变为深红色(crimson的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
6 tingle | |
vi.感到刺痛,感到激动;n.刺痛,激动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
7 vibration | |
n.颤动,振动;摆动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
8 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
9 ecstasy | |
n.狂喜,心醉神怡,入迷 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
10 sham | |
n./adj.假冒(的),虚伪(的) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
11 vividly | |
adv.清楚地,鲜明地,生动地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
12 justification | |
n.正当的理由;辩解的理由 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
13 maze | |
n.迷宫,八阵图,混乱,迷惑 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
14 eyelids | |
n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 );眼睛也不眨一下;不露声色;面不改色 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
15 lashes | |
n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 );鞭子;突然猛烈的一击;急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 );煽动;紧系;怒斥 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
16 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
17 rapture | |
n.狂喜;全神贯注;着迷;v.使狂喜 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
18 subscribe | |
vi.(to)订阅,订购;同意;vt.捐助,赞助 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
19 pretence | |
n.假装,作假;借口,口实;虚伪;虚饰 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
20 loathing | |
n.厌恶,憎恨v.憎恨,厌恶( loathe的现在分词);极不喜欢 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
21 subscribing | |
v.捐助( subscribe的现在分词 );签署,题词;订阅;同意 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
22 formulated | |
v.构想出( formulate的过去式和过去分词 );规划;确切地阐述;用公式表示 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
23 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
24 multiplication | |
n.增加,增多,倍增;增殖,繁殖;乘法 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
25 throttle | |
n.节流阀,节气阀,喉咙;v.扼喉咙,使窒息,压 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
26 deity | |
n.神,神性;被奉若神明的人(或物) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
27 yearning | |
a.渴望的;向往的;怀念的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
28 chasm | |
n.深坑,断层,裂口,大分岐,利害冲突 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
29 humiliated | |
感到羞愧的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
30 enveloped | |
v.包围,笼罩,包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
31 potent | |
adj.强有力的,有权势的;有效力的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
32 longing | |
n.(for)渴望 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
33 defiantly | |
adv.挑战地,大胆对抗地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
34 exulted | |
狂喜,欢跃( exult的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
35 approbation | |
n.称赞;认可 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
36 mighty | |
adj.强有力的;巨大的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
37 softened | |
(使)变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
38 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
39 ruffles | |
褶裥花边( ruffle的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
40 tinted | |
adj. 带色彩的 动词tint的过去式和过去分词 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
41 deviated | |
v.偏离,越轨( deviate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
42 disorder | |
n.紊乱,混乱;骚动,骚乱;疾病,失调 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
43 enact | |
vt.制定(法律);上演,扮演 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
44 conscientious | |
adj.审慎正直的,认真的,本着良心的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
45 hairpins | |
n.发夹( hairpin的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
46 rippling | |
起涟漪的,潺潺流水般声音的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
47 dressing | |
n.(食物)调料;包扎伤口的用品,敷料 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
48 Flared | |
adj. 端部张开的, 爆发的, 加宽的, 漏斗式的 动词flare的过去式和过去分词 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
49 auction | |
n.拍卖;拍卖会;vt.拍卖 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
50 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
51 dignified | |
a.可敬的,高贵的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
52 placid | |
adj.安静的,平和的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
53 erect | |
n./v.树立,建立,使竖立;adj.直立的,垂直的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
54 palatial | |
adj.宫殿般的,宏伟的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
55 retired | |
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
56 suite | |
n.一套(家具);套房;随从人员 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
57 logic | |
n.逻辑(学);逻辑性 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
58 sobbed | |
哭泣,啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 ); 哭诉,呜咽地说 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
59 sob | |
n.空间轨道的轰炸机;呜咽,哭泣 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
60 casually | |
adv.漠不关心地,无动于衷地,不负责任地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
61 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
62 metropolitan | |
adj.大城市的,大都会的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
63 vile | |
adj.卑鄙的,可耻的,邪恶的;坏透的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
64 adroit | |
adj.熟练的,灵巧的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
65 contagion | |
n.(通过接触的疾病)传染;蔓延 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
66 tenements | |
n.房屋,住户,租房子( tenement的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
67 unbearable | |
adj.不能容忍的;忍受不住的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
68 poking | |
n. 刺,戳,袋 vt. 拨开,刺,戳 vi. 戳,刺,捅,搜索,伸出,行动散慢 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
69 lurid | |
adj.可怕的;血红的;苍白的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
70 portray | |
v.描写,描述;画(人物、景象等) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
71 hectic | |
adj.肺病的;消耗热的;发热的;闹哄哄的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
72 prominence | |
n.突出;显著;杰出;重要 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
73 passersby | |
n. 过路人(行人,经过者) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
74 wrung | |
绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 ); 握紧(尤指别人的手); 把(湿衣服)拧干; 绞掉(水) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
75 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
76 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
77 humiliation | |
n.羞辱 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
78 descended | |
a.为...后裔的,出身于...的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
79 doomed | |
命定的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
80 bustling | |
adj.喧闹的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
81 delicacies | |
n.棘手( delicacy的名词复数 );精致;精美的食物;周到 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
82 distress | |
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
83 creases | |
(使…)起折痕,弄皱( crease的第三人称单数 ); (皮肤)皱起,使起皱纹 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
84 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
85 mused | |
v.沉思,冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 );沉思自语说(某事) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
86 complacently | |
adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
87 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
88 plunged | |
v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
89 loathed | |
v.憎恨,厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 );极不喜欢 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
90 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
91 dismally | |
adv.阴暗地,沉闷地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
92 onward | |
adj.向前的,前进的;adv.向前,前进,在先 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
93 vocal | |
adj.直言不讳的;嗓音的;n.[pl.]声乐节目 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
94 cindery | |
adj.灰烬的,煤渣的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
95 commuter | |
n.(尤指市郊之间)乘公交车辆上下班者 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
96 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
97 condemned | |
adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
98 inhuman | |
adj.残忍的,不人道的,无人性的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
99 blot | |
vt.弄脏(用吸墨纸)吸干;n.污点,污渍 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
100 civilisation | |
n.文明,文化,开化,教化 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
101 demolished | |
v.摧毁( demolish的过去式和过去分词 );推翻;拆毁(尤指大建筑物);吃光 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
102 thereby | |
adv.因此,从而 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
103 justifying | |
证明…有理( justify的现在分词 ); 为…辩护; 对…作出解释; 为…辩解(或辩护) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
104 frenzy | |
n.疯狂,狂热,极度的激动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
105 virtuous | |
adj.有品德的,善良的,贞洁的,有效力的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
106 corrupt | |
v.贿赂,收买;adj.腐败的,贪污的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
欢迎访问英文小说网 |