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CHAPTER XXVI A FUNNY WORLD
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“It’s never a bit of good losing your temper,” remarked Mrs. Trimwell sagely1. “You can say much more telling things if you don’t.”
 
She was clearing the luncheon2 table. John, from the depths of an armchair, made a sound slightly indicative of doubt.
 
“Yes,” said Mrs. Trimwell firmly, in reply to the sound, “you can. Losing your temper you never know what you are going to say, and as like as not you’ll say something as’ll hit back on yourself, and you be sorry you said later. Keeping it you can have an eye to your neighbour’s weaknesses, and pull them out to show, so to speak.”
 
John seemed to recognize some truth in this statement.
 
“Whose weaknesses,” he demanded, “have you been exposing?”
 
“He’s a captious3 man, is Vicar,” said Mrs. [Pg 193]Trimwell, and John perceived that her remark was not irrelevant4. “He’s never been what you’d call pleased like in his mind that the biggest house to the place is a papist house, and yet now when they’re leaving he’s for railing against the new occupant that is to be, and him no papist at all, they say.”
 
“Oh!” said John. He had fancied, be it stated, that Mrs. Trimwell herself was not what might have been termed cordial towards the interloper.
 
“I don’t say I’m wanting him at the Castle myself,” pursued Mrs. Trimwell, in reply, it would seem, to John’s unspoken thought, “but Lor’ bless you, ’tisn’t exactly his fault if he is the rightful heir, and it’s little more’n a child he is for all he’s a man grown. He come in here yesterday when I was stoning raisins5 for a cake. I don’t say at first I was pleased for to see him. But, ‘Mrs. Trimwell,’ says he, ‘I want to thank you for seeing to my foot. It’s a real doctor you are, for I’d never but a limp the next day.’ And he sat down, and watched me stoning of them raisins, eating one now and again for all the world like a great boy. And his eyes—have you seen his eyes, sir? You couldn’t no more say a harsh word to [Pg 194]him than you could to my baby. He stayed chatting an hour and more, and I declare I thought ’twas only ten minutes.”
 
John laughed,—a curious little laugh.
 
“Then this morning,” went on Mrs. Trimwell, “Vicar come in. He’d seen him yesterday afternoon at the front door. Wanted to know what he’d come for. As if a visitor can’t come to the house without me answering a penny catechism from Vicar. I up and as good as told him that. And he began talking about loyalty6 to the family at the Castle, and it’s never a word of loyalty he’s had for them, and I can tell you. We got to words a bit, and Vicar’s temper isn’t never sweetened with the best sugar, but I kept mine. I called to mind a thing or two as he’d said of the family, and I let fall a hint now and again that I hadn’t forgotten it neither. It’s wonderful the way it riles a person if you’ve a good memory and let them know it.”
 
John grinned.
 
“I’ll not be repeating all he said,” pursued Mrs. Trimwell with dignity, “but I will say there were some things I didn’t expect to hear a parson say. But they’ll come back to himself. You can’t ever [Pg 195]be real spiteful but they does. Did I ever tell you about Mrs. Ashby and Lydia Ponsland?”
 
John intimated that she had not
 
“Them two always had their knife into me, seeing that I gave them short shrift when they come here with gossiping lies of my husband drinking at the Blue Dragon over to Whortley. Lord love you, sir, he’s never touched a drop more’n was good for him since the day we married. I’ll not swear to before that, seeing as young men will be young men all the world over. Anyhow I wasn’t going to listen to no lies from Mrs. Ashby and Lydia Ponsland, and told them they was liars7 to their face, which wasn’t perhaps the pleasantest hearing for them, though the truth. My words stuck, I’m thinking, and turned a trifle sour, and they planned a bit of revenge. ’Twas the silliest thing they did, though cruel at that, and you’d never believe folks could have been that childish, if I didn’t tell you ’twas the gospel truth. ’Twas Christmas Eve, and I was over to Whortley for a bit of shopping. My husband was at home with the children, when five o’clock or thereabouts there come a ring at the front door. Robert he goes to see what ’tis. There’s a man there, and a [Pg 196]cart outside. ‘’Tis the coffin8 for your wife,’ says he. Robert, he fails all of a tremble, and never thinking, like a man, I couldn’t ha’ ordered my coffin anyhows if I’d been dead. He don’t understand it, and stays arguefying, and mortal frightened. In the middle of their speechifying I comes home, and I tell you it took me ten minutes and more to make him believe I hadn’t no call for a coffin yet awhile. ’Twas them two as had ordered it, as I knew well enough, though couldn’t never bring it clear home to them. But they was paid for their evilness. Mrs. Ashby, she’s lost her money, and is in a two shilling attic9 at Whortley this very day, and Lydia’s down with rheumatic fever what the doctor says she’ll not be getting over this side of next Christmas. When God pays He don’t pay in halfpence.”
 
The vigour10 with which Mrs. Trimwell brushed the crumbs11 from the cloth served to emphasize her statement.
 
“It was,” said John, “an astonishingly idiotic12 thing for them to do.”
 
“Idiotic!” ejaculated Mrs. Trimwell, “I should think it was idiotic. But there, they’d lost their tempers and kept them lost for weeks; and if you [Pg 197]mislay your temper like that it turns that sour you’d be surprised. I’m for thinking Vicar hasn’t found his yet, nor will be finding it for a bit. But as I says to him, if a man finds his chance like this one has, you can’t be surprised if he takes it. If he don’t he’s a fool, and no more and no less. If you get a chance, take it, says I, if you don’t it goes off in a huff to somebody else.”
 
“Then,” remarked John ruminatively13, “it would be your advice that a chance should be taken at all hazards, even at the expense of someone else?”
 
Mrs. Trimwell looked dubious14. It would appear that this aspect of affairs had not previously15 struck her.
 
“Well, sir,” quoth she reflective, “I’ll own you have me there. I couldn’t give you no clear answer to that. It seems to me that the world’s all a bit of shoving and pushing, and slipping through gaps to the front when you see them. And if you don’t do the slipping, someone else will. I reckon it’s right enough if you’re not pushing your own folk and friends aside. When it comes to them, well, matters do get a bit awkward, I’ll allow. What do you think, sir?”
 
[Pg 198]
 
John shook his head.
 
“Frankly, Mrs. Trimwell, I don’t know.”
 
“Well, to tell you the honest truth, sir, no more don’t I. It’s one thing to talk o’ the common-sense point of view, but when you come straight up to it, well, you sometimes wonders if it isn’t a bit more edgey and cornery than you cares about. ’Tis a funny world.”
 
“It is,” said John fervently16.
 

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1 sagely sagely     
adv. 贤能地,贤明地
参考例句:
  • Even the ones who understand may nod sagely. 即使对方知道这一点,也会一本正经地点头同意。
  • Well, that's about all of the sagely advice this old grey head can come up with. 好了,以上就是我这个满头银发的老头儿给你们的充满睿智的忠告。
2 luncheon V8az4     
n.午宴,午餐,便宴
参考例句:
  • We have luncheon at twelve o'clock.我们十二点钟用午餐。
  • I have a luncheon engagement.我午饭有约。
3 captious wTjy2     
adj.难讨好的,吹毛求疵的
参考例句:
  • There is no captious client but faulty product and service.没有挑剔的客户,只有不完善的产品和服务。
  • His criticisms were always captious and frivolous,never offering constructive suggestions.他的评论一向轻率并爱吹毛求疵,从不提出有建设性的建议。
4 irrelevant ZkGy6     
adj.不恰当的,无关系的,不相干的
参考例句:
  • That is completely irrelevant to the subject under discussion.这跟讨论的主题完全不相关。
  • A question about arithmetic is irrelevant in a music lesson.在音乐课上,一个数学的问题是风马牛不相及的。
5 raisins f7a89b31fdf9255863139804963e88cf     
n.葡萄干( raisin的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • These raisins come from Xinjiang,they taste delicious. 这些葡萄干产自新疆,味道很甜。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Mother put some raisins in the cake. 母亲在糕饼中放了一些葡萄干。 来自辞典例句
6 loyalty gA9xu     
n.忠诚,忠心
参考例句:
  • She told him the truth from a sense of loyalty.她告诉他真相是出于忠诚。
  • His loyalty to his friends was never in doubt.他对朋友的一片忠心从来没受到怀疑。
7 liars ba6a2311efe2dc9a6d844c9711cd0fff     
说谎者( liar的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • The greatest liars talk most of themselves. 最爱自吹自擂的人是最大的说谎者。
  • Honest boys despise lies and liars. 诚实的孩子鄙视谎言和说谎者。
8 coffin XWRy7     
n.棺材,灵柩
参考例句:
  • When one's coffin is covered,all discussion about him can be settled.盖棺论定。
  • The coffin was placed in the grave.那口棺材已安放到坟墓里去了。
9 attic Hv4zZ     
n.顶楼,屋顶室
参考例句:
  • Leakiness in the roof caused a damp attic.屋漏使顶楼潮湿。
  • What's to be done with all this stuff in the attic?顶楼上的材料怎么处理?
10 vigour lhtwr     
(=vigor)n.智力,体力,精力
参考例句:
  • She is full of vigour and enthusiasm.她有热情,有朝气。
  • At 40,he was in his prime and full of vigour.他40岁时正年富力强。
11 crumbs crumbs     
int. (表示惊讶)哎呀 n. 碎屑 名词crumb的复数形式
参考例句:
  • She stood up and brushed the crumbs from her sweater. 她站起身掸掉了毛衣上的面包屑。
  • Oh crumbs! Is that the time? 啊,天哪!都这会儿啦?
12 idiotic wcFzd     
adj.白痴的
参考例句:
  • It is idiotic to go shopping with no money.去买东西而不带钱是很蠢的。
  • The child's idiotic deeds caused his family much trouble.那小孩愚蠢的行为给家庭带来许多麻烦。
13 ruminatively a73c54a0b232bf08848a2949c4b2f527     
adv.沉思默想地,反复思考地
参考例句:
  • He smiles and swirls the ice ruminatively around his almost empty glass. 他微笑着,一边沉思,一边搅动着几乎空了的杯子里的冰块。 来自柯林斯例句
14 dubious Akqz1     
adj.怀疑的,无把握的;有问题的,靠不住的
参考例句:
  • What he said yesterday was dubious.他昨天说的话很含糊。
  • He uses some dubious shifts to get money.他用一些可疑的手段去赚钱。
15 previously bkzzzC     
adv.以前,先前(地)
参考例句:
  • The bicycle tyre blew out at a previously damaged point.自行车胎在以前损坏过的地方又爆开了。
  • Let me digress for a moment and explain what had happened previously.让我岔开一会儿,解释原先发生了什么。
16 fervently 8tmzPw     
adv.热烈地,热情地,强烈地
参考例句:
  • "Oh, I am glad!'she said fervently. “哦,我真高兴!”她热烈地说道。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • O my dear, my dear, will you bless me as fervently to-morrow?' 啊,我亲爱的,亲爱的,你明天也愿这样热烈地为我祝福么?” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记


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