Bettina Mowbray, walking the deck of the ocean steamer bound for England, was aware that she was observed with interest by a great many pairs of eyes. Certainly the possessors of these eyes were not more interested in her than she was in the interpretation2 of their glances. It was, indeed, of the first importance to her to know that she was being especially noticed by the men and women of the world, who in large part made up the passenger list, since her beauty was her one endowment for the position in the great world which all her life she had intended and expected to occupy. She was anxious, therefore, to know whether the personal appearance which had been rated so high in the obscure places hitherto known to her [Pg 2]would or would not hold its own when she got out into life, as it were.
Therefore, as Miss Mowbray paced the deck, at the side of the erect3 elderly woman who had been her nurse and was now her maid, she was vigilantly4 regardful of the looks which were turned upon her, and at times, by straining her ears, she could even catch a word or two of comment. Both looks and words were gratifying in the extreme. They not only confirmed the previous verdict passed upon her beauty, but they gave evidence to her keen intuition that, judged by a higher standard, she had won a higher tribute.
Yet, ardent6 as this admiration7 was on the one side, and grateful as it was on the other, there the matter stopped. To those who would have approached her more closely Bettina set up a tacit barrier which no one had been able to cross, and, after several days at sea, she was still limited to the society of her maid. Those who had spoken to her once had been so politely repelled9 that they had not spoken again, and many of those who had felt inclined to speak had, on coming nearer to her, refrained instinctively10.
There was something, apart from her beauty, which attracted the eye and the imagination in [Pg 3]this tall girl in her deep mourning. This, perhaps, was the twofold aspect which her different moods and expressions gave to her. At one time she looked so profoundly sad, dejected, almost despairing, that it was easy to connect her mourning dress with the loss of what had been dearest to her. At another time there was a buoyancy, animation11, vividness, in her look which made her black clothes seem incongruous in any other sense than that in which a dark setting is sometimes used to throw into relief the brilliancy of a jewel.
And these two outward manifestations12 did, in truth, represent the dual13 nature which was Bettina’s. Her mother, who had studied her with a keen and affectionate insight, had often told her that the two key-notes of her nature were love and ambition. So far, all the ardor14 of Bettina’s heart had been centred in her delicate, exquisite15 little old mother, whom she had loved with something like frenzy16; and it was from the loss of this mother that she was now enduring a degree of sorrow which might perhaps have overwhelmed her, had not the other strong instinct of nature acted as an antidote17. After some weeks of what seemed like blank despair, the girl had roused herself with a sort of desperation, and [Pg 4]looked about her to see what was yet left to her in life. Then it was that ambition had come to her rescue. With a hardened feeling in her breast she told herself that she could never love again in the way in which she had loved her mother, so she must make the most of her opportunity to become a brilliant figure in the world.
This opportunity, fortunately, was quite within sight. A path had been opened before her feet by which she might walk to a higher rank and position than even her extravagant18 dreams had led her to expect.
In the isolation19 of her narrow village life she had read in the papers accounts of the English aristocracy; and to show off her beauty in such an atmosphere, and be called by a titled name, had fired her imagination to such a degree that her good mother had had many a pang20 of fear for the future of her child.
When Bettina found herself alone, the one profound attachment21 of her heart severed22 by death, she seemed to have no hope of relief from the dire23 oppression of her position, save that which lay in the possibilities of worldly enjoyment24 which might be in store for her if she chose to accept them. These took the form of a definite opportunity in the person of one whom her mother [Pg 5]entirely trusted and approved, and this in itself was enough for Bettina now. It was little less than a marvellous prospect25 for a girl in her position, but it had come about quite simply.
The rector of the church in the village where Mrs. Mowbray and her daughter lived was an Englishman of good family, the Rev5. Arthur Spotswood by name. When his young relative, Horace Spotswood, who was cousin and heir to Lord Hurdly, came to travel in America, it was but natural that he should visit the rector in his home. Natural, too, it was that he should there encounter Bettina Mowbray; and as he thought her the most charming and most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and as his affections were quite disengaged, it was almost a matter of course that he should fall in love with her.
So aware of this was Bettina that when one morning she had met and talked to the young fellow at the rectory, she wound up the account of the meeting which she gave to her mother by saying, quite simply:
“He will ask me to marry him, mamma, and I shall say yes. So for a short time I shall be Mrs. Horace Spotswood, the wife of a diplomat26 at the Russian court, and ultimately I shall be Lady Hurdly, with a London mansion27, several [Pg 6]country places, and one of the greatest positions in English society.”
“My child, my poor child!” said the mother, in a tone of distress28, “what is to be the end of your inordinate29 ambition for the things of the world? You have got to discover the vanity and hollowness of them some time, but what must you suffer on your way to this experience! Money and position cannot bring happiness in marriage. Nothing can do that but love.”
“But, you see, I propose to have love too,” was the gay response. “I assure you it will not be a difficult matter to love such a man as this, and I assure you also that he is fathoms30 deep in love with me already. He is manly31, handsome, healthy, well-bred, and altogether charming. As to my ever loving any created being as I love you, mother darling, that, I have always told you, is out of the question; but I can imagine myself caring a good deal for this young heir of Lord Hurdly.”
“Bettina,” said the mother, gravely, laying her hands on her daughter’s shoulder and looking deep into her eyes, “you will have to come to it by suffering, my child, but you will come to it at last—the knowledge that even the love which you give to me is slight and inadequate32, [Pg 7]and not worthy33 to be compared with the love which you will one day feel for the man who, as your husband, shall call forth34 your highest feeling. I believe this with firm conviction, and I beg you not to throw away your chance of a woman’s best heritage. Don’t marry this man, or any man, until you can feel that even the great love you have given me is poor compared with that. Heaven knows I love you, child, and mother-love is stronger than daughter-love; but I could not love you so well or so worthly if I had not loved your father more.”
These words, so impatiently listened to, were destined35 to come back to Bettina afterward36, though at the time she resented the very suggestion of what they predicted.
Her instinct about young Spotswood had been exactly true. He had become fascinated with her during their first interview, and had followed up the acquaintance with ardor, making her very soon a proposal of marriage.
Lord Hurdly, his cousin, was unmarried, it appeared, and was an inveterate37 enemy to matrimony. Horace Spotswood was his nearest of kin1 and legal heir. But Lord Hurdly was not over sixty two or three, and was likely to live a long time. Finding it, perhaps, not very agreeable [Pg 8]to be constantly reminded that another man would some day stand in his shoes, his lordship had procured38 for Horace a diplomatic position at St. Petersburg, where, although the society was delightful39, the pay was small. As his heir, however, Lord Hurdly made him a very liberal allowance, and with this it was easy for Horace to indulge his taste for travel. In this way he had come to America, intending to see it extensively; but he met Bettina, and from that moment gave up every other thought but the dominant40 one of winning her for his wife.
Even when he had asked and been accepted he could not leave her side, but concluded to await there Lord Hurdly’s answer to his letter announcing his engagement. He was not without certain misgivings41 on this point, but he had written so convincingly, as he thought, of Bettina’s beauty, breeding, and fitness for the position of Lady Hurdly that was to be, that he would not and could not believe that his cousin would disapprove42. Besides, he was too blissfully happy to grieve over problematical troubles, and so he quite gave himself up to the joys of his present position and ardent dreams of the future.
It happened, however, that Lord Hurdly’s letter, when it came, was a cold, curt43, and most decided44 [Pg 9]refusal to consent to the marriage. He objected chiefly on the score of Bettina’s being an American, though he did not hesitate to say also that he considered his heir a fool to think of marrying a woman without fortune, when he might so easily do better. In conclusion, he said that if this infatuated nonsense, as he called it, went on, he would withdraw his allowance from the very day of the marriage. He ended by hoping that Horace would come to his senses, and let him know that the thing was at an end.
Poor Horace! He would fain have kept this letter from Bettina, but she insisted upon seeing it. Having done so, she became fired with a keen desire to triumph over this obdurate45 opposition46, and when Horace asked her if she would still fulfil her pledge, in the face of his altered fortunes, she agreed with rather more ardor of feeling than she had hitherto shown.
The truth was, Bettina had disappointed him in this last respect. Her mother was so obviously and unquestionably her first thought, and her mother’s failing health was so plainly a grief which his love could not counterbalance, that he at times had pangs47 of jealousy48, of which he afterward felt ashamed. Was not this intense love for her mother in itself a proof of her great [Pg 10]capacity of loving, and must he not, with patient waiting, one day see himself loved in like manner? Still, he chafed49 under the fact that every day her mother became more and more the object of her time and attention, so that he saw her now more rarely and for shorter periods. She always explained this fact by saying that the invalid50 was more suffering and in need of her, and she never seemed to think it possible that this excuse would not be all-sufficing.
At last a day came which brought him what he had been fearing—a summons to return to his post of duty. At one time he would have attempted to get a longer leave, even at some risk; but now, with the prospect of having his allowance from England withdrawn51, he dared not do so. He knew that it would require great economy for two to live on what had once seemed so inadequate for one, and he laid the matter frankly52 before Bettina. She was full of hope that Lord Hurdly would relent, and spoke8 so indifferently about their lack of money that he loved her all the more for it.
He had some hope, in his ardent soul, that he might persuade Bettina to be married at once and go with him, but when he ventured to propose this he found that the mere53 suggestion of [Pg 11]her leaving her mother, then or ever, made her almost angry. She insisted that her mother would get better; that when the weather changed she would be braced54 up and strengthened, and then, she hoped, a thorough change would do her good. So her plan was to let her lover go at once, and some months later, when Mrs. Mowbray should be stronger, they would go to England together, and there Spotswood could meet her and they could be married.
With this promise he was obliged to go. It was a new and annoying experience for him to have to consider the question of money so closely. True, he was Lord Hurdly’s heir-at-law, and he could not be disinherited, so far as the title and entailed55 estates were concerned, but it was wholly within the power of the present lord to deprive him of the other properties, and he knew Lord Hurdly well enough to understand that he was tenacious56 of any position once taken.
So he said farewell to Bettina with a sad heart. He was ardently57 willing to give up money and ease and to endure hardness for her sake, but he would have wished to feel that the sadness and depression in which Bettina parted from him had been the echo of what was in his own heart, rather than, as he was quite aware, the deeper [Pg 12]care and sorrow of her anxiety about her mother’s health.
Once away from her, however, the strong flame of his love burned so vividly58 that he wrote her, by almost every mail, letters of such heart-felt love and sympathy and adoration59 that he could but feel confident that they would bring him a reply in kind. When at last her letters did come, they were so short, scant60, and preoccupied61 that they fell like blows upon his heart. When he thought of the passionately62 loving letters that she was getting almost daily, while he got so rarely these half-hearted and insufficient63 ones, his pride became aroused, and he decided that he would imitate her to the extent of writing more rarely, even if he could not find it in his heart to write to her coolly, as she did to him. In this way it came to pass that there was a distinct change in the tone of his letters to her. As day by day, and sometimes week by week, passed without his hearing from her, and as her letters, when they came, continued to speak only of her mother’s health and her grief about it, the young fellow’s love and pride were alike so wounded that he forced himself, so far as his nature and feelings would allow, to imitate her attitude to him, and to cease the expression of the [Pg 13]vehement love for her in which he got no response.
At last, after a longer interval64 than usual, he got a letter from Bettina, which told him that her mother was dead—had, indeed, been dead and buried almost two weeks before she had roused herself to write to him.
In the tone of this letter there was a sort of desperate resolution that showed that a reaction had come on, under the stress of which she had been roused to act with energy. She announced that as she had found it intolerable to stay where she was, she would sail for Europe at once. She fixed65 the 23d of June as the day on which she had decided to sail. In reality, however, she actually embarked66 from New York just one week earlier. This was in pursuance of a certain plan which required that she should have one week in London quite free of Horace before he should come to claim the fulfilment of her promise to marry him.
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1
kin
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| n.家族，亲属，血缘关系；adj.亲属关系的，同类的 | |
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interpretation
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| n.解释，说明，描述；艺术处理 | |
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erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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4
vigilantly
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| adv.警觉地，警惕地 | |
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rev
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| v.发动机旋转，加快速度 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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repelled
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| v.击退( repel的过去式和过去分词 )；使厌恶；排斥；推开 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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animation
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| n.活泼，兴奋，卡通片／动画片的制作 | |
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manifestations
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| n.表示，显示（manifestation的复数形式） | |
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dual
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| adj.双的；二重的，二元的 | |
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ardor
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| n.热情，狂热 | |
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15
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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16
frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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17
antidote
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| n.解毒药，解毒剂 | |
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18
extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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isolation
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| n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离 | |
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pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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21
attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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severed
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| v.切断，断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 )；断，裂 | |
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23
dire
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| adj.可怕的，悲惨的，阴惨的，极端的 | |
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24
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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diplomat
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| n.外交官，外交家；能交际的人，圆滑的人 | |
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27
mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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inordinate
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| adj.无节制的；过度的 | |
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30
fathoms
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| 英寻( fathom的名词复数 ) | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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inadequate
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| adj.(for,to)不充足的，不适当的 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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inveterate
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| adj.积习已深的，根深蒂固的 | |
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38
procured
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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39
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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40
dominant
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| adj.支配的，统治的；占优势的；显性的；n.主因，要素，主要的人(或物)；显性基因 | |
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41
misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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42
disapprove
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| v.不赞成，不同意，不批准 | |
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43
curt
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| adj.简短的，草率的 | |
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44
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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45
obdurate
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| adj.固执的，顽固的 | |
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46
opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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47
pangs
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| 突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 )； 悲痛 | |
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48
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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49
chafed
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| v.擦热（尤指皮肤）( chafe的过去式 )；擦痛；发怒；惹怒 | |
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50
invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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51
withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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52
frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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53
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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54
braced
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| adj.拉牢的v.支住( brace的过去式和过去分词 )；撑牢；使自己站稳；振作起来 | |
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55
entailed
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| 使…成为必要( entail的过去式和过去分词 )； 需要； 限定继承； 使必需 | |
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56
tenacious
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| adj.顽强的，固执的，记忆力强的，粘的 | |
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57
ardently
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| adv.热心地，热烈地 | |
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58
vividly
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| adv.清楚地，鲜明地，生动地 | |
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59
adoration
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| n.爱慕，崇拜 | |
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60
scant
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| adj.不充分的，不足的；v.减缩，限制，忽略 | |
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61
preoccupied
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| adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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62
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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63
insufficient
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| adj.(for，of)不足的，不够的 | |
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64
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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65
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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66
embarked
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| 乘船( embark的过去式和过去分词 )； 装载； 从事 | |
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