It was some time before Bettina realized the changed conditions of her life consequent upon her husband’s extremely small provision for her. In England, in the only society which she knew, it would be a mere1 pittance2, after what she had always had there; but in America, in her old home, which she had always kept as her mother left it, it would be almost riches. Sometimes she thought of going back there for good, and leaving the great world in which she had found so little joy. But it was this world which could give her, as she now knew, the best substitute that can be offered for joy—active and interesting occupation. Having once known the inspiration of this, the stagnation3 of her old home was not to be thought of for a permanency. It seemed to her best, however, to go there for a short time to look after the money interests now become important to her, and from there to seek some work for the faculties4 [Pg 126]which she had only lately realized that she possessed5.
In her heart she could but feel a certain wounded pride in the altered position to which her husband had deliberately6 condemned7 her. She felt that it was his way of punishing her for not having been a more conformable wife. He had not succeeded, in his life, in humbling8 her pride; he would therefore do it now. She felt that he must have had some intention of this sort.
That instinct was confirmed by the family lawyer, who told her, when he came to have a talk on business, that Lord Hurdly had expressed to him the supposition, and even the wish, that she should return to America to live.
Under other conditions her husband’s wish would have greatly influenced her decision, but under these it had no weight whatever. She could not help feeling that she had been harshly treated. It was not the actual loss of money that she minded; it was the slight implied thereby9. She had married Lord Hurdly without any pretence10 of loving him. He had not required that of her; and she had done her best to maintain her position as his wife in accordance with his wishes. These had often conflicted with her [Pg 127]own, but in such cases she had always yielded. She felt, therefore, that she had been treated with injustice11.
The chief sting of this feeling was in connection with the thought of Horace. It made her flush with shame when she reflected that he was bound to know that the man for whom she had given him up had treated her so slightingly. Under the spur of this thought she had a wild impulse to run away to America, where he should never see or hear of her again. Business affairs compelled her to remain in England for a short while, but she was quite determined12 to leave it before Horace should arrive.
One morning, quite unexpectedly, she got a cable despatch13 from him. It was addressed to Lady Hurdly, at Kingdon Hall, and was in these words: “Kindly remain and act for me until I can arrive. Unavoidably detained here.—SPOTSWOOD.”
This direct message from the young lover who had once been so near to her life moved Bettina to strange emotions. She was aware that Mr. Cortlin, the family lawyer, had written him that she was going away as soon as possible, and he had, of course, been informed of all the conditions of his cousin’s will. Not one penny [Pg 128]had been left him except what was his by legal right; but Lord Hurdly’s personal fortune had been an inconsiderable part of the estate, so that Horace was now a man of great wealth as well as the bearer of an old and noble title.
The signature to this telegram was one of the things that affected14 Bettina. The telegrams sent to the lawyers, the rector, and others had been signed “Hurdly.” Several of these she had seen. It seemed to her, therefore, a very delicate instinct which had caused him to refrain from the use of her husband’s name in addressing her. He had always been delicate in his intuitions and expressions, or at least so it had seemed.
The effect of this telegram upon Bettina was to make her more confused and uncertain in her plans than she had been before. She felt a strong instinct to avoid meeting Horace again, and yet this telegram was in the form of a request, and she could hardly refuse to do him a favor. In the midst of her perplexity a servant brought word that Mr. Cortlin had arrived and asked to see her.
When the lawyer entered, with his usual obsequious15 bow, Bettina received him with a rather cold civility. Her manner had become distinctly [Pg 129]more haughty16 since her descent in the scale of social and pecuniary17 importance.
Mr. Cortlin did not take the seat to which she invited him, but remained standing18, with his hat in his hand, as he said:
“A former client of mine, and friend of his late lordship, Mr. Fitzwilliam Clarke, who died about a year ago, left in my keeping a letter to your ladyship, which he instructed me to deliver in person upon the death of Lord Hurdly. I am come now, my lady, in the fulfilment of that trust.”
“There must be some mistake,” she said. “I know no Mr. Fitzwilliam Clarke. I have never even heard his name.”
“That may be, my lady, but there is no mistake. This letter was meant for you.”
Bettina took the letter he held out, and opened it with a certain incredulous haste. Mr. Cortlin at the same moment walked away to a window, and stood there with his back turned while Bettina read the following sentences:
“My Dear Lady Hurdly,—Should this letter ever come to your eyes, you will be at that time a widow, as I have left instructions that it [Pg 130]shall be delivered only in the event of your surviving your husband. By that time I shall have passed into the unknown world, where, if such things can be, I shall have had with Lord Hurdly an understanding which, by the hard conditions he imposed on me, was impossible in this life. But before leaving the world of human life and action I wish to make sure that at least one wrong which came about through me will have been repaired by me. I am aware that the rupture20 of your engagement of marriage to Mr. Horace Spotswood was caused chiefly by a letter shown you by Lord Hurdly, and purporting21 to come from an altogether trustworthy source—a man who was on the spot and who was a personal friend of his. I was that man. I was on the spot because I was sent there by Lord Hurdly for the purpose of writing this letter. For reasons which I need not enter into he had me in his power, and until one of us shall be dead he can force me to do his will. If you ever hold this letter in your hand and read these words we shall both be dead, and by this letter I desire to make reparation for a base and cruel wrong which I have helped to inflict22 upon an honorable and high-minded gentleman. I allude23 to the man who, when you read these words, will bear [Pg 131]the name and title of Lord Hurdly. The things I wrote of him are in absolute contradiction to the truth, for a nobler and more loyal heart never beat. You might well discredit24 any assurance which comes by means of me, and I do not ask to have my words accepted. All I expect to accomplish is that you shall pay enough attention to my statement to investigate the matter for yourself. He is well known, and once your ears are open you will hear enough to prove to you that he has been wronged. That I have wronged him, though reluctantly and by reason of a power I could not resist, is the saddest consciousness of my life.
“That I may possibly by this letter do something, however late, to repair this wrong is my chief consolation25 on leaving the world. I shall carry with me into whatever life I go an ineradicable resentment26 against the man who was Lord Hurdly, and I leave behind me the most ardent27 and admiring wishes of my heart for the man who, when you read this, will bear the noble name and title which his predecessor28, if the truth about him could be known, has so soiled with treachery in the furtherance of the most indomitable egotism ever known in mortal man.
“In conclusion, I ask of your ladyship, as I [Pg 132]do of all the world, such gentle judgment29 as Christian30 hearts may find it in them to accord to one whose sins, though many, were of weakness rather than malice31, and who did the evil work of a malicious32 man because he had not strength to brave what that man had it in his power and purpose to do to him in punishment of the resistance of his will.
”Fitzwilliam Clarke.”
Bettina, in her breathless reading of this letter, had forgotten that she was not alone. As she finished it and thrust it back into its envelope she glanced toward the window, and there saw Mr. Cortlin’s figure half hid by the heavy curtains.
“Mr. Cortlin,” she said, in a tone which summoned him quickly to her side, “I wish to ask if you or any other person have any knowledge of the contents of this letter.”
“I can only answer for myself, my lady. I have not. It was delivered to me sealed as you have found it, and no hint of its purpose told me.”
“Had you a personal knowledge and acquaintance with this Mr. Clarke?” she asked next.
“I had, my lady. He was in the confidence [Pg 133]of his late lordship, who intrusted to him many of his private affairs.”
“The man was under some great obligation to Lord Hurdly, was he not?”
“So I have understood, my lady. Formerly34 he was in the army, and I have heard that there was some dark story about him. I have even heard cheating at cards attributed to him, and it was said that Lord Hurdly’s influence and friendship were all that saved him. The story was hushed up, but he resigned.”
Bettina scarcely followed these last words. A sense of sickening confusion made her head spin round. The revelation of this letter was too much for her. The past possessed her like a blighting35 spell that she could never hope to shake off, and the knowledge which had come to her through this letter added a thousandfold to its bitterness.
As to the future, she dared not try to see a step before her feet. To go through life with the consciousness of this wrong to Horace unexplained was a thought at which she shuddered36. Yet to explain it under existing circumstances was impossible. The agitation37 of this interview had almost overwhelmed her. Mr. Cortlin saw it, and, ringing for her maid, silently withdrew. [Pg 134]When Nora came she found her mistress pale as death, and very nearly lost to consciousness.
After that interview, so significant for her in so many ways, Bettina began to long to get away—quite, quite away into another world—before the master of Kingdon Hall should have set foot in this one. She was doing her best to take his place and act for him in such matters as required immediate38 attention and decision. She could not refuse to do this, but she was anxious to be gone, to be quite to herself, so that she might the better look life in the face and see what could be done with the wretched remnant of her existence. She had given up all idea of making her residence in England, and there was no other country in which she had any deep interest, save for the mournful interest that attached to her mother’s grave.
She had asked the lawyer to say to Lord Hurdly that she would, at his request, delay her departure for America a little while, but that she was extremely anxious to get off as soon as it would be possible. She also begged that he would cable when he was coming, as soon as he could make his plans to do so.
The days were active ones for Bettina in many new and serious ways. There were numerous business [Pg 135]matters which she had to be consulted about, and these gave her an insight into the affairs of the estate which showed her far more clearly than ever what need there was for reform, and revived in her her ardent longing39 to have a hand in these reforms. But from all such thoughts as these she turned away heart-sickened.
There were certain visits from Lord Hurdly’s relations which had to be received, an ordeal40 that would have tried Bettina sorely had it not been that she made these the occasion for the investigation41 of Horace Spotswood’s character, nature, actions, interests, habits, etc., which the fateful letter had recommended her to make. She had never had one instant’s doubt of the truth of every word contained in that letter, but it was a sort of bitter pleasure to talk to these people and draw forth42 the manifestations43 of their delight at having Horace for the head of the family, and their confidence that this fact would result in pleasure and benefit to them all. From their ardent appreciation44 of him Bettina got at the fact of their universal dislike for the Lord Hurdly recently laid at rest with his ancestors.
Yet it was a relief when all the guests were gone and she was left alone to the mingled45 sweet and bitter feelings of her last days as mistress of [Pg 136]Kingdon Hall. The worldly spirit in Bettina, diminished as it was, had not wholly disappeared, and never would as long as she was young and healthy and so beautiful. These attributes carried with them a certain love of display, and although it was a trial to be borne with dignity, it was still a trial to her to think of losing forever the splendid place which she had for a short year or two held in the great world.
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
mere
|
|
| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
pittance
|
|
| n.微薄的薪水，少量 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
stagnation
|
|
| n. 停滞 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
faculties
|
|
| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
possessed
|
|
| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
deliberately
|
|
| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
condemned
|
|
| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
humbling
|
|
| adj.令人羞辱的v.使谦恭( humble的现在分词 )；轻松打败（尤指强大的对手）；低声下气 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
thereby
|
|
| adv.因此，从而 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
pretence
|
|
| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
injustice
|
|
| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
determined
|
|
| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
despatch
|
|
| n./v.(dispatch)派遣；发送；n.急件；新闻报道 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
affected
|
|
| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
obsequious
|
|
| adj.谄媚的，奉承的，顺从的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
haughty
|
|
| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
pecuniary
|
|
| adj.金钱的；金钱上的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
standing
|
|
| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
amazement
|
|
| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
rupture
|
|
| n.破裂；(关系的)决裂；v.(使)破裂 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
purporting
|
|
| v.声称是…，（装得）像是…的样子( purport的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
inflict
|
|
| vt.(on)把…强加给，使遭受，使承担 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
allude
|
|
| v.提及，暗指 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
discredit
|
|
| vt.使不可置信；n.丧失信义；不信，怀疑 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
consolation
|
|
| n.安慰，慰问 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
resentment
|
|
| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
ardent
|
|
| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
predecessor
|
|
| n.前辈，前任 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
judgment
|
|
| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
Christian
|
|
| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
malice
|
|
| n.恶意，怨恨，蓄意；[律]预谋 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
malicious
|
|
| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
repentant
|
|
| adj.对…感到悔恨的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
formerly
|
|
| adv.从前，以前 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
blighting
|
|
| 使凋萎( blight的现在分词 )； 使颓丧； 损害； 妨害 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
shuddered
|
|
| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
agitation
|
|
| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
immediate
|
|
| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
longing
|
|
| n.（for）渴望 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
ordeal
|
|
| n.苦难经历，（尤指对品格、耐力的）严峻考验 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
investigation
|
|
| n.调查，调查研究 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
forth
|
|
| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
manifestations
|
|
| n.表示，显示（manifestation的复数形式） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
appreciation
|
|
| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
mingled
|
|
| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |