It was just before Easter that Edward wrote his father and Betty that he had developed diabetes1 and was going for a few weeks to a nursing home at Malvern. The doctor hoped that with care he would soon be much better. In any case he should return to Oxford2 sometime during the summer term. He expected to be done with it by Christmas.
To Anthony he wrote a different letter. The doctor had, of course, talked cheerfully; it was the business of a doctor to hold out hope; but he had the feeling himself that his chance was a poor one. He should return to Oxford, if the doctor did not absolutely forbid it, for Betty’s sake. He did not want to alarm her. And, of course, he might pull through. If not, his idea was that Anthony should push on with his studies at high speed and become as soon as possible a junior partner in the firm. It was evident from his letter that he and Betty were in agreement on this matter and that she was preparing the way with her father. Mr. Mowbray’s appetite for old port was increasing. He was paying less and less attention to the business. It[Pg 122] would soon need some one to pull it together again.
“Betty likes you, I know,” he wrote, “and thinks no end of you. I used to dream of you and she marrying; and when the doctor told me, my first idea was to write to you both and urge it; it seemed to me you were so fitted for one another. But then it came to me that we are strangers to one another, even to our nearest and dearest; we do not know what is in one another’s hearts. I feared you might think it your duty and might do it out of mere4 gratitude5 or even from some lesser6 motive7. I know that in any case you would be true and good and kind; and a little while ago I should have deemed that sufficient. But now I am not sure. It may be that love is the only thing of importance, and that to think we can do without it is to imagine that we can do without God. You will be surprised at my writing in this strain, but ever since I began to think I seem to have been trying to discover a meaning in life; and it seems to me that without God it is all meaningless and stupid. But by feeling that we are part of God and knowing we shall always be with Him, working for Him, that then it all becomes interesting and quite exciting. And the thing we’ve got to keep on learning is to love, because that is the great secret. Forgive me for being prosy, but I have nothing else to do just now[Pg 123] but walk about the hills and think. If you and Betty should get to care for one another, and I should come to hear of it, I shall be tremendously delighted. But in any case I know you will take my place and look after her. People think her the embodiment of capability8 and common sense. And so she is where others are concerned. But when it comes to managing for herself she’s a duffer.”
He added that he would write again and keep Anthony informed, so that before the end they could have some talk together.
Anthony read the letter again. His friendship with Edward meant more to him than he had thought. It was as if a part of himself were being torn away from him, and the pain that he felt surprised him. Evidently he was less self-centred, less independent of others than he had deemed himself. Outwardly his life would go on as before. He would scheme, manœuvre, fight and conquer. But there was that other Anthony, known only to himself, of whom even he himself had been aware only dimly and at intervals9: Anthony the dreamer. It seemed that he too had been growing up, that he too had hopes, desires. He it was who had lost his friend and would not be comforted. And almost it seemed as if from his sorrow he had[Pg 124] gained strength. For as time went by this Anthony, the dreamer, came more often, even interfering10 sometimes with business.
He would have liked to have gone over to Malvern and have seen Edward. Betty was there. But he was wanted in the office. So often Mr. Mowbray had one of his headaches and did not care to leave the house, and then it was always Anthony he would send for, and they would work in the library. And of late he had taken to absenting himself for days at a time, being called away, as he would explain, upon private affairs. And to Anthony alone he would confide11 his address, in case it was “absolutely necessary” for him to be recalled. Anthony had his suspicions where these journeys ended. He was worried. Betty had returned from Malvern, Edward having assured her that he was much better. Anthony, looking at the matter from all sides, came to the conclusion that he ought to tell her. It was bound to come out sooner or later.
Betty was not surprised.
“It’s what I’ve been fearing,” she said. “It was Ted3 that kept him straight. He’s always been a good father to both of us. He wanted Ted to succeed to a sound business; but now this blow has come he doesn’t seem to care.”
[Pg 125]
“But Ted is going to succeed to it,” replied Anthony without looking up.
“I wish you could persuade him of that,” she said. “I’ve tried; but I only make him excited. He says it’s God’s punishment on him for his sins and apparently12 argues from that that he may just as well go on sinning. If Ted could get well enough to come home, if only for a few days, it might make all the difference.”
“Don’t you think he could?” suggested Anthony.
“Not to Millsborough,” she answered. She glanced out of the window at the everlasting13 smoke that was rolling slowly up the valley towards the sea. “I wanted him to take The Abbey—Sir William Coomber’s old place up on the moor—it is still to let. But this woman seems to have got firmly hold of him at last. My fear is that she’ll marry him. Poor dad! He’s such a kid.”
“Has he known her long?” asked Anthony.
“She was our governess when Ted and I were children,” Betty answered. “She was a pretty woman, but I always hated her. It was instinct, I suppose. She married soon after she left us, and went back to France, but returned to London when her husband died about six years ago. I’d rather anything than that he should marry her. To see[Pg 126] her sleeping in mother’s room! I couldn’t stand that. I should——”
“I don’t think there’s any fear of that,” said Anthony. “He still loves your mother. I’m not talking merely to please you. It’s the best thing about him. And he loves you. He’d think of all that.”
“He didn’t think of it when she lived,” Betty answered.
They were in the long dining-room and had just finished dinner. Mr. Mowbray had telegraphed that he was coming home that evening and would want to see Anthony. But he had not yet arrived. She was looking at the portrait of her mother over the great mantel-piece.
“If ever I marry,” she said, “I shall pray God to send me a man who will like me and think of me as a good friend and comrade.”
“It was a love-match on both sides, between your father and your mother, wasn’t it?” asked Anthony.
“No woman ever had a more perfect lover, so my mother told me,” she answered with a curious laugh. “For the first five years. I remember waking in the night. My mother was kneeling by my bed with her head buried in her arms. I didn’t[Pg 127] understand. I supposed it was something grown up people did. I went to sleep again; and when I opened my eyes again it was dawn. She was still there. I called to her, and she raised her head and looked at me. It was such a strange face. I didn’t know it was my mother.”
Anthony looked at the picture. Betty was growing more like her every day.
“I wonder if we would be better without it,” he said. “All the great love stories of the world: they’ve all been tragedies. Even the people round about us whom we know; it always seems to end in a muddle17. Is every man bound to go through it?” he added with a laugh. “Or could a man keep out of it, do you think?”
“I think a strong man might,” she answered. “It’s weak men that make the best lovers.”
“There have been strong men who have loved,” suggested Anthony.
“Yes,” she admitted. “Those are the great love stories that end in tragedy.”
There came the sound of carriage wheels.
“I expect that’s dad,” she said.
She had risen. Passing, she lightly laid her hand on him.
“Don’t ever fall in love,” she said. “It would spoil you.”
[Pg 128]
Mr. Mowbray had aged16 of late, but with his white, waving hair and fine features was still a handsome man. Old-fashioned clients, shaking their heads, had gone elsewhere. But new business had come to the firm. Anthony had taken his employer for a walk one summer’s evening along the river’s bank, and had talked him into the idea of turning Millsborough into a seaport18 town. “It could be done, with money.” The river could be widened, deepened; locks could be built. The traffic from the valley that now went north or south could be retained for Millsborough. The marvel19 was that nobody had ever thought of it before.
“We’ve all been asleep here for the last quarter of a century,” Mr. Mowbray said, laying his arm affectionately on Anthony’s shoulder. “You’ll wake us up.”
Engineers had been consulted and had sent in their reports. The scheme was practicable; Mowbray and Cousins was still a name to conjure20 with in business circles. The enterprise had been launched, had forced its way by its sheer merit. Not only could a handsome dividend21 be safely reckoned on; it would be of enormous benefit to Millsborough as a whole.
“Mowbray’s coming back,” they said in Millsborough.
[Pg 129]
Anthony’s share was to be a junior partnership22. It was Mr. Mowbray who was the more impatient. Anthony promised to be through before the long vacation.
“If dear Ted comes back,” said Mr. Mowbray, “he’ll be glad to find you here. If God is hard on me for my sins we must make our fortune for Betty’s sake.”
Edward had gone to Switzerland for the summer. Anthony had hoped to see him before he went, but examinations had interfered23; and Edward himself had been more hopeful. He had written that in spite of all he felt he was going to live. His mind was getting lighter24. He was forming plans for the future. And then suddenly there had come a three-word telegram:
“I want Betty.”
Mr. Mowbray was away when it came. He had gone, without saying a word to any one, the day before, and had not as usual left Anthony any address. He did not return until the end of the week, and then it was all over. Betty had wired that she was bringing the body back with her. Mr. Mowbray broke down completely when Anthony told him, throwing himself upon his knees and sobbing25 like a child.
“Betty will hate me,” he moaned through his[Pg 130] tears, “and it will serve me right. I seem to do nothing but hurt those I love. I loved my wife and I broke her heart. There is no health in me.”
Edward was buried in St. Aldys’ Churchyard beside his mother. Anthony had seen the ex-governess and made all things clear to her. Mr. Mowbray seemed inclined to settle down to business a reformed character. Anthony had taken out his articles and had been admitted into partnership, though the firm would still remain Mowbray and Cousins.
It was an evening in late September. Mr. Mowbray and Betty had gone abroad. Anthony, leaving the office earlier than usual, climbed the hill to the moors26. He took the road he had climbed with his mother when he was a child and had thought he was going to see God. He could see the vision of his own stout27 little legs pounding away in front of him and his mother’s stooping back and her short silk jacket, remnant of better days, that she had always worn on these occasions. If his aunt’s theories were correct, then surely the Lord must have approved of him and of all his ways from his youth upwards28. At school, in the beginning, he had put himself out to make a friend of Edward Mowbray, foreseeing the possible advantages. So also with Betty. He had tried to make her like[Pg 131] him. It had not been easy at first, but he had studied her. The love for Edward that had come to him had been an aftergrowth. It belonged to Anthony the dreamer rather than to the real Anthony.
With Betty also he had succeeded. She liked him, cared for him. That she did not love him he was glad. If she had loved him he would have hesitated, deeming it an unfair bargain. As it was, he could with a clear conscience ask her to be his wife. And she would consent; he had no doubt of that. Old Mr. Mowbray would welcome the match. He was reckoning on it as assuring Betty’s future. Anthony would succeed to the business, and behind him there would be the old man’s money to help forward the plans with which his brain was teeming29 for the benefit of Millsborough and himself. The memory of what Edward had written him about love came back to him. But Edward had always been a dreamer. Life was a business. One got on better by keeping love and religion out of it. He and Betty liked each other. They would get on together. Her political enthusiasms did not frighten him. All that would be in his own hands. When success had arrived—when his schemes had matured and had brought him wealth and power—then it would be time enough to [Pg 132]venture on experiments. Prudently30 planned, they need not involve much risk. They would bring him fame, honour. To the successful business man all prizes were within reach.
His walk had brought him to The Abbey, now untenanted. The fancy that one day it might be his home had often come to him. His mother had been a parlourmaid there. He pictured the perfect joy that it would give her to sit in its yellow drawing-room and reach out her hand to ring the bell.
He passed through the rose garden. Betty would love the rose garden. Roses she had made her hobby. But the air of Millsborough did not suit them. Here they were still wonderful in spite of neglect. He made a mental note to speak about it to Hobbs, the gardener. He knew what the answer would be. Twice that summer Hobbs had walked down to Millsborough with a tale of despair; and twice Anthony had written to Sir Harry32 Coomber. But what was a penurious33 baronet to do? Would Mowbray and Cousins never succeed in finding him a tenant31? And so on. Anthony determined34 to provided Hobbs with help on his own responsibility. The rose garden, even if everything else had to go, must be preserved.
[Pg 133]
He passed on to the flower garden. It had always been Hobbs’ special pride. It had been well cared for and was now a blaze of colour. It lay between two old grey walls that had once enclosed the cloisters35; and beyond one saw the great cedars36 that had been brought and planted there by Herbert de Combles on his return from the Crusades.
A yew37 hedge in which there was a wicket gate separated the two gardens. He paused by the gate with his arms resting upon it and watched the lengthening38 of the shadows.
And as he looked a girl came slowly up the path towards him.
And then he remembered. It had been an afternoon back in the early spring. Sir Harry, pleading that he was too much of an invalid40 to venture out, had written asking Mr. Mowbray to come up to The Abbey to see him on business, and Mr. Mowbray, pleading engagements, had sent Anthony.
It had merely been to talk about the letting of the house. Sir Harry and his family had decided41 to live abroad for the present and were leaving almost immediately. Anthony had sat by the window making notes, and Sir Harry, giving unnecessary[Pg 134] instructions, had been walking up and down the room with his hands behind him. The door had sprung open and a girl had burst into the room. Anthony had hardly had time to notice her. She had not expected a stranger and was evidently in doubt whether she was to be introduced or not. Her father had solved the problem for her by telling her to run away and not come back. And if she did to come in more quietly next time and not like a whirlwind. And she had made a grimace42 and had gone out again.
He had only seen her for those few seconds, and it rather surprised him that he recollected43 her so minutely, even to the dimple in her chin.
She came nearer and nearer. He was wondering whether to speak to her when for the first time she looked up and their eyes met. She was beside a great group of delphiniums. He noticed that their deep blue was almost the same colour as the dress she was wearing. She must have taken a swift step behind them during some instant when he had taken his eyes off her. He waited a while, expecting her to emerge, but she did not do so, and for him to linger there might seem impertinence.
On his way back, past the side entrance to the house, he came upon old Wilkins, the caretaker; he had once been the coachman.
[Pg 135]
“When did the family come back?” Anthony asked him. It was odd that Sir Harry had not written. It might be that they had returned to England only for a short visit and had not thought it worth while.
The man stared at him. “What do you mean?” he said. “There’s nobody here.”
“But I’ve just seen her,” said Anthony. “Miss Coomber.” He wished the next moment that he had not said it, for the old man’s face clearly showed that he thought Anthony mad.
“It must be her spirit, Mr. Anthony,” he said, “that you’ve seen. Her body ain’t here.”
Anthony felt himself flushing. He laughed.
“I must have been dreaming,” he said.
“That’s the only explanation I can see,” said Mr. Wilkins. He wished Anthony good afternoon and turned into the house. Anthony heard him calling to his wife.
It was dark before Anthony reached home.
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1
diabetes
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| n.糖尿病 | |
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2
Oxford
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| n.牛津（英国城市） | |
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3
ted
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| vt.翻晒，撒，撒开 | |
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4
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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5
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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6
lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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7
motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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8
capability
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| n.能力；才能；(pl)可发展的能力或特性等 | |
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9
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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10
interfering
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| adj. 妨碍的 动词interfere的现在分词 | |
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11
confide
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| v.向某人吐露秘密 | |
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12
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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13
everlasting
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| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
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14
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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15
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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16
aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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17
muddle
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| n.困惑，混浊状态；vt.使混乱，使糊涂，使惊呆；vi.胡乱应付，混乱 | |
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18
seaport
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| n.海港，港口，港市 | |
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19
marvel
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| vi.(at)惊叹vt.感到惊异；n.令人惊异的事 | |
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20
conjure
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| v.恳求，祈求；变魔术，变戏法 | |
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21
dividend
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| n.红利，股息；回报，效益 | |
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22
partnership
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| n.合作关系，伙伴关系 | |
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23
interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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24
lighter
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| n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级 | |
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25
sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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moors
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| v.停泊，系泊（船只）( moor的第三人称单数 ) | |
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28
upwards
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| adv.向上，在更高处...以上 | |
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29
teeming
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| adj.丰富的v.充满( teem的现在分词 )；到处都是；（指水、雨等）暴降；倾注 | |
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30
prudently
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| adv. 谨慎地，慎重地 | |
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31
tenant
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| n.承租人；房客；佃户；v.租借，租用 | |
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32
harry
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| vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼 | |
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penurious
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| adj.贫困的 | |
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34
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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35
cloisters
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| n.（学院、修道院、教堂等建筑的）走廊( cloister的名词复数 )；回廊；修道院的生活；隐居v.隐退，使与世隔绝( cloister的第三人称单数 ) | |
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36
cedars
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| 雪松，西洋杉( cedar的名词复数 ) | |
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37
yew
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| n.紫杉属树木 | |
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38
lengthening
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| （时间或空间）延长，伸长( lengthen的现在分词 )； 加长 | |
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39
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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40
invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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41
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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42
grimace
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| v.做鬼脸，面部歪扭 | |
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43
recollected
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| adj.冷静的；镇定的；被回忆起的；沉思默想的v.记起，想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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