SONYA'S LETTER to Nikolay, that had come as an answer to his prayer, was written at Troitsa. It had been called forth1 in the following way. The idea of marrying Nikolay to a wealthy heiress had taken more and more complete possession of the old countess's mind. She knew that Sonya was the great obstacle in the way of this. And Sonya's life had of late, and especially after the letter in which Nikolay described his meeting with Princess Marya at Bogutcharovo, become more and more difficult in the countess's house. The countess never let slip an opportunity for making some cruel or humiliating allusion2 to Sonya. But a few days before they set out from Moscow the countess, distressed3 and overwrought by all that was happening, sent for Sonya, and instead of insistence4 and upbraiding5, besought6 her with tears and entreaties7 to repay all that had been done for her by sacrificing herself, and breaking off her engagement to Nikolay. “I shall have no peace of mind till you make me this promise,” she said.
Sonya sobbed8 hysterically9, answered through her sobs10 that she would do anything, that she was ready for anything; but she did not give a direct promise, and in her heart she could not bring herself to what was demanded of her. She had to sacrifice herself for the happiness of the family that had brought her up and provided for her. To sacrifice herself for others was Sonya's habit. Her position in the house was such that only by way of sacrifice could she show her virtues11, and she was used to sacrificing herself and liked it. But in every self-sacrificing action hitherto she had been happily conscious that by her very self-sacrifice she was heightening her value in the eyes of herself and others, and becoming worthier13 of Nikolay, whom she loved beyond everything in life. But now her sacrifice would consist in the renunciation of what constituted for her the whole reward of sacrifice, and the whole meaning of life. And for the first time in her life she felt bitterness against the people who had befriended her only to torment14 her more poignantly15: she felt envy of Natasha, who had never had any experience of the kind, who had never been required to make sacrifices, and made other people sacrifice themselves for her, and was yet loved by every one. And for the first time Sonya felt that there was beginning to grow up out of her quiet, pure love for Nikolay a passionate16 feeling, which stood above all principles, and virtue12, and religion. And under the influence of that passion, Sonya, whose life of dependence17 had unconsciously trained her to reserve, gave the countess vague, indefinite answers, avoided talking with her, and resolved to wait for a personal interview with Nikolay, not to set him free, but, on the contrary, to bind18 him to her for ever.
The fuss and the horror of the Rostovs' last days in Moscow had smothered19 the gloomy thoughts that were weighing on Sonya. She was glad to find an escape from them in practical work. But when she heard of Prince Andrey's presence in their house, in spite of all the genuine compassion20 she felt for him, and for Natasha, a joyful21 and superstitious22 feeling that it was God's will that she should not be parted from Nikolay took possession of her. She knew Natasha loved no one but Prince Andrey, and had never ceased to love him. She knew that brought together now, under such terrible circumstances, they would love one another again; and that then, owing to the relationship that would (in accordance with the laws of the Orthodox Church) exist between them, Nikolay could not be married to Princess Marya. In spite of all the awfulness of what was happening during the last day or two in Moscow and the first days of the journey, that feeling, that consciousness of the intervention23 of Providence24 in her personal affairs, was a source of joy to Sonya. At the Troitsa monastery25 the Rostovs made the first break in their journey.
In the hostel26 of the monastery three big rooms were assigned to the Rostovs, one of which was occupied by Prince Andrey. The wounded man was by this time a great deal better. Natasha was sitting with him. In the next room were the count and the countess reverently27 conversing28 with the superior, who was paying a visit to his old acquaintances and patrons. Sonya was sitting with them, fretted29 by curiosity as to what Prince Andrey and Natasha were saying. She heard the sounds of their voices through the door. The door of Prince Andrey's room opened. Natasha came out with an excited face, and not noticing the monk30, who rose to meet her, and pulled back his wide sleeve off his right hand, she went up to Sonya and took her by the arm.
“Natasha, what are you about? Come here,” said the countess.
Natasha went up to receive the blessing31, and the superior counselled her to turn for aid to God and to His saint.
Immediately after the superior had gone out, Natasha took her friend by the arm, and went with her into the empty third room.
“Sonya, yes, he will live,” she said. “Sonya, how happy I am, and how wretched! Sonya, darling, everything is just as it used to be. If only he were going to live. He cannot, … because … be … cause …” and Natasha burst into tears.
“Yes! I knew it would be! Thank God,” said Sonya. “He will live.”
Sonya was no less excited than her friend, both by the latter's grief and fears, and by her own personal reflections, of which she had spoken to no one. Sobbing32, she kissed and comforted Natasha. “If only he were to live!” she thought. After weeping, talking a little, and wiping their tears, the two friends went towards Prince Andrey's door. Natasha, cautiously opening the door, glanced into the room. Sonya stood beside her at the half-open door.
Prince Andrey was lying raised high on three pillows. His pale face looked peaceful, his eyes were closed, and they could see his quiet, regular breathing.
“Ah, Natasha!” Sonya almost shrieked33 all of a sudden, clutching at her cousin's arm, and moving back away from the door.
“What! what is it?” asked Natasha
“It's the same, the same, you know …” said Sonya, with a white face and quivering lips.
Natasha softly closed the door and walked away with Sonya to the window, not yet understanding what she was talking of.
“Do you remember,” said Sonya, with a scared and solemn face, “do you remember when I looked into the mirror for you … at Otradnoe at Christmas time … Do you remember what I saw?” …
“Yes, yes,” said Natasha, opening her eyes wide, and vaguely34 recalling that Sonya had said something then about seeing Prince Andrey lying down.
“Do you remember?” Sonya went on. “I saw him then, and told you all so at the time, you and Dunyasha. I saw him lying on a bed,” she said, at each detail making a gesture with her lifted finger, “and that he had his eyes shut, and that he was covered with a pink quilt, and that he had his hands folded,” said Sonya, convinced as she described the details she had just seen that they were the very details she had seen then. At the time she had seen nothing, but had said she was seeing the first thing that came into her head. But what she had invented then seemed to her now as real a memory as any other. She not only remembered that she had said at the time that he looked round at her and smiled, and was covered with something red, but was firmly convinced that she had seen and said at the time, that he was covered with a pink quilt—yes, pink—and that his eyes had been closed.
“Yes, yes, pink it was,” said Natasha, who began now to fancy too that she remembered her saying it was a pink quilt, and saw in that detail the most striking and mysterious point in the prediction.
“But what does it mean?” said Natasha dreamily.
“Ah, I don't know, how extraordinary it all is!” said Sonya, clutching at her head.
* * *
A few minutes later, Prince Andrey rang his bell, and Natasha went in to him; while Sonya, in a state of excitement and emotion such as she had rarely experienced, remained in the window, pondering over all the strangeness of what was happening.
That day there was an opportunity of sending letters to the army, and the countess wrote a letter to her son.
“Sonya,” said the countess, raising her head from her letter, as her niece passed by her. “Sonya, won't you write to Nikolenka?” said the countess, in a soft and trembling voice; and in the tired eyes, that looked at her over the spectacles, Sonya read all that the countess meant by those words. Those eyes expressed entreaty35 and dread36 of a refusal and shame at having to beg, and readiness for unforgiving hatred37 in case of refusal.
Sonya went up to the countess, and kneeling down, kissed her hand.
“I will write, mamma,” she said.
Sonya was softened38, excited, and moved by all that had passed that day, especially by the mysterious fulfilment of her divination39, which she had just seen. Now, when she knew that in case of the renewal40 of Natasha's engagement to Prince Andrey, Nikolay could not be married to Princess Marya, she felt with delight a return of that self-sacrificing spirit in which she was accustomed and liked to live. And with tears in her eyes, and with a glad sense of performing a magnanimous action, she sat down, and several times interrupted by the tears that dimmed her velvety41 black eyes, she wrote the touching42 letter the reception of which had so impressed Nikolay.
索尼娅致尼古拉的那封应验了他的祈祷的信，是从特罗伊茨写来的。引发它的来由是这样的。让尼古拉娶一位富有的新娘的想法，愈来愈缠住老伯爵夫人。她知道索尼娅是这事的主要障碍。因而索尼娅近来的日子，特别是在尼古拉来信谈到在博古恰罗沃同玛丽亚公爵小姐相遇之后，在伯爵夫人家变得越来越难过。伯爵夫人不放过任何机会给索尼娅以侮辱性的或是残酷的暗示。
但在离开莫斯科的前几天，为发生的一切而惊惶不安和伤感的伯爵夫人，把索尼娅叫到自己身边，不是责备和强求，而是眼泪婆娑地恳求她牺牲自己和尼古拉断绝关系以报答这个家为她所做的一切。
“只要你不答应我，我便永远不会安宁。”
索尼娅歇斯底里大哭起来，嚎啕着回答说，她什么都可以做，她什么都准备好了，但她并没有直接答应，她心里面下不了决心，不能去做要求她做的事。为了这个抚养她教育她的家庭的幸福，她应该牺牲自己。为他人的幸福牺牲自己，是索尼娅的常事。她在这家处于这样的地位，只有牺牲才能说明自己的尊严，因而她惯于，并且爱付出牺牲。但是，在以前一切自我牺牲的行为中，她都高兴地意识到，她每当牺牲自己时，那种行为提高了本人在自己和别人眼里的价值，更配得上她平生最爱慕的Nicolas；而现在，她的牺牲却在于要放弃对她牺牲的奖赏和生活的全部意义。于是，有生以来第一遭，感到她对人们的哀怨，尝到了苦味。人们对她施以恩惠，却是为了更痛苦地折磨她；她感到对娜塔莎的嫉妒，她从未尝到过类似的辛酸，从来勿须牺牲自己而总是让别人为她牺牲，而大家总是喜欢她。同时，索尼娅第一次感到，从她对Nicolas平静的纯洁的爱情中，突然开始生长出炽热的情感，它高于准则、道义和宗教；在这种情感的影响下，经过寄人篱下默默无闻的生活的磨炼，学会了隐瞒事实真相，索尼娅不由自主地含糊其辞地回答了伯爵夫人后，避免同她谈话，决定等待同尼古拉见面，抱着不是解脱，而是相反，永远把自己同他拴在一起的打算。
罗斯托夫家在莫斯科逗留的最后几天中，忙乱和恐怖淹没了索尼娅心里折磨她的忧郁思绪。她高兴在实际活动中得以摆脱这些思绪，但当她得知安德烈公爵在他们家时，虽然她对他和娜塔莎怀着真诚的同情心，高兴的心情和迷信上帝不要她同Nicolas分开的感觉支配了她。她知道，娜塔莎从未只爱安德烈公爵一人，并未停止爱他。她知道，现在，在这样可怕的环境下相聚一堂，他们会重新相爱，由于他们俩人之间会结成亲属关系，尼古拉就不得娶玛丽亚公爵小姐了。尽管在那最后几天和旅途最初几天所发生的一切都很可怕，这种感情，这种认为上帝对她私事加以干预的意识，使她觉得快乐。
在特罗伊茨修道院，罗斯托夫家第一次在旅途中停留了一整天。
特罗伊茨修道院的客栈，分给罗斯托夫家三间大房间，安德烈公爵占了其中一间。他的伤口今天好多了。娜塔莎陪他坐着。在隔壁房间里，伯爵夫妇正坐着恭敬地和修道院长谈话，院长是来看望这两位老相识和捐助人的。索尼娅也在座，想知道安德烈公爵和娜塔莎谈话内容的好奇心折磨着好。她从门里听着他们的说话声。安德烈公爵房间的门这时开了。娜塔莎带着激动的脸色走了出来，未曾注意到起身向她致意，捋起右手宽袖的院长，走到索尼娅身旁，抓住了她的手。
“娜塔莎，你怎么啦？过这边来。”伯爵夫人说。
娜塔莎走过去接受修道院长的祝福，而院长劝她向上帝及其侍者求助。
修道院长刚一离开，娜塔莎就牵着自己伙伴的手，同她一起走进一个空房间。
“索尼娅，是吗？他会活吗？”她说，“索尼娅，我多么幸福，又多么不幸！索尼娅，亲爱的，一切又像从前一样。只要他能活着。他不能……因为，因……为……”娜塔莎大哭起来。
“是这样！我已知道了！谢天谢地”索尼娅不停地说，“他会活的！”
索尼娅的激动不亚于自己的伙伴，她由于女伴的恐惧和痛苦而激动，也由于她个人的对谁也没有诉说的心事而激动。她哭泣着吻娜塔莎，安慰她。“只要他能活着！”她心里想。两个女友！哭了一会儿，谈了一会儿，擦干眼泪之后，就向安德烈公爵的房门口走去。娜塔莎小心地推开房门，往房里瞧瞧。索尼娅和她并肩站在半开的门旁边。
安德烈公爵高高地靠在三个枕头上，躺着。他苍白的脸是平静的，眼睛闭着，同时看得出来，他呼吸均匀。
“噢，娜塔莎！”突然索尼娅几乎叫了起来，抓着表妹的手从房门口向后退。
“什么？什么？”娜塔莎问。
“这是那，那，是……”索尼娅脸色苍白、嘴唇发抖地说。
娜塔莎轻轻拉拢房门，同索尼娅朝窗户走去，还没有明白人家对她说的话。
“你记得吗，”索尼娅带着惊慌而又严肃的神情说，“记得我替你照镜子算卦吗？…在奥特拉德诺耶，过圣诞节的时候……记得我看见什么了吗？…”
“是的，是的！”娜塔莎睁大着眼睛说，模糊地回忆起，索尼亚当时曾说过安德烈公爵如何如何，说她看见他躺着。
“记得吗？”索尼娅继续说，“我当时看见了，并告诉了所有的人，有你，有杜尼亚莎。我看见他躺在床上，”她说，每说出一个细节，便举起一根指头向上戳一下，“并且闭着眼睛，还盖着玫瑰色的被子，还把手叠起来，”索尼娅说，随着她描述刚才看见的细枝末节，她就更相信她当时看见过这些细节。当时她并无所见，却头头是道地讲出她看到的东西，其实她是在讲她凭空想出来的东西；但是她觉得她心里同意想的东西就像别的回忆一样真实。她不仅记得当时她所说的，他转过头来看她一眼，并笑了笑，身上盖的是红颜色的东西，而且她坚信，当时就是说过并看见过他盖着玫瑰色的，就是玫瑰色的被子，并且他的眼睛是闭着的。
“对，对呀，正是玫瑰色的。”娜塔莎说，她现在也仿佛记得，曾经说过“玫瑰色的”，在这件事情上，看出预兆是多么离奇，多么神秘。
“但这意味着什么呢？”娜塔莎沉思着问道。
“噢，我不知道，这太离奇了！”索尼娅说，用手扪着脑袋。
几分钟后，安德烈公爵打铃叫人，娜塔莎进他房间去，而索尼亚感到一种她难得有过的激动和感动，留在窗户旁，继续思索那不可思议的一切。
这天正逢军邮之期，于是，伯爵夫人给儿子写信。
“索尼娅，”伯爵夫人在外甥女从身旁经过时，从信上抬起头来说。“索尼娅，你不给尼古连卡写信吗？”伯爵夫人用颤抖的声音低声地说，但在她疲惫的透过眼镜看人的目光里，索尼娅领会了伯爵夫人问话的涵意。目光里表示着的，有祈求，有害怕拒绝，出于不得已而请求的羞赧，遭拒绝时毫不留情地仇恨的决心。
索尼娅走近伯爵夫人，并跪下来吻她的手。
“我这就写，妈咪。”她说。
这天所发生的一切，特别是她看到了她的占卜神秘地应验了，使索尼娅心肠软化，深有感触。此刻，当她知道由于娜塔莎与安德烈公爵恢复关系了，尼古拉不能同玛丽亚公爵小姐结婚，她高兴地感觉到自我牺牲精神的回归，她喜爱，并且习惯于生活在这样的心境之中。于是她含着眼泪，怀着做一种宽容行为的喜悦心情，她终究在几次因泪水遮住她那天鹅绒般的黑眼睛而停笔之后，写完那封使尼古拉大为震惊的令人感动的信。
收听单词发音 |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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insistence
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| n.坚持；强调；坚决主张 | |
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upbraiding
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| adj.& n.谴责（的）v.责备，申斥，谴责( upbraid的现在分词 ) | |
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besought
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| v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的过去式和过去分词 )；(beseech的过去式与过去分词) | |
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entreaties
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| n.恳求，乞求( entreaty的名词复数 ) | |
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sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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hysterically
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| ad. 歇斯底里地 | |
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sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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worthier
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| 应得某事物( worthy的比较级 )； 值得做某事； 可尊敬的； 有（某人或事物）的典型特征 | |
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torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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poignantly
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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dependence
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| n.依靠，依赖；信任，信赖；隶属 | |
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bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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smothered
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| （使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制 | |
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compassion
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joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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superstitious
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| adj.迷信的 | |
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intervention
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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monastery
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hostel
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| n.（学生）宿舍，招待所 | |
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reverently
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conversing
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的现在分词 ) | |
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fretted
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| 焦躁的，附有弦马的，腐蚀的 | |
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monk
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| n.和尚，僧侣，修道士 | |
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blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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32
sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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33
shrieked
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| v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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35
entreaty
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| n.恳求，哀求 | |
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36
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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38
softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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39
divination
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| n.占卜，预测 | |
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40
renewal
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| adj.(契约)延期，续订，更新，复活，重来 | |
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41
velvety
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| adj. 像天鹅绒的, 轻软光滑的, 柔软的 | |
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42
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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