AT THE BEGINNING of the winter Princess Marya arrived in Moscow. From the gossip of the town she heard of the position of the Rostovs, and of how “the son was sacrificing himself for his mother,” as the gossips said. “It is just what I expected of him,” Princess Marya said to herself, finding in it a delightful1 confirmation2 of her love for him. Remembering her intimate relations with the whole family—almost as one of themselves—she thought it her duty to call on them. But thinking of her relations with Nikolay in Voronezh, she was afraid of doing so. A few weeks after her arrival in Moscow, she did, however, make an effort, and went to see the Rostovs.
Nikolay was the first to meet her, since it was impossible to reach the countess's room without passing through his room. Instead of the expression of delight Princess Marya had expected to see on his face at the first glance at her, he met her with a look of chilliness3, stiffness, and pride that she had never seen before. Nikolay inquired after her health, conducted her to his mother, and, after staying five minutes, went out of the room.
When Princess Marya left the countess, Nikolay again met her, and with marked formality and stiffness led her to the hall. He made no reply to her remarks about the countess's health. “What is it to you? Leave me in peace,” his expression seemed to say.
“And why should she stroll in here? What does she want? I can't endure these ladies and all these civilities!” he said aloud before Sonya, obviously unable to restrain his vexation, after the princess's carriage had rolled away from the house.
“Oh, how can you talk like that, Nicolas,” said Sonya, hardly able to conceal4 her delight. “She is so kind, and maman is so fond of her.”
Nikolay made no reply, and would have liked to say no more about Princess Marya. But after her visit the old countess talked about her several times every day.
She sang her praises; insisted that her son should go and see her; expressed a wish to see more of her; and yet was always out of temper when she had been talking of her.
Nikolay tried to say nothing when his mother talked of Princess Marya, but his silence irritated her.
“She is a very good and conscientious5 girl,” she would say, “and you must go and call on her. Anyway, you will see some one; and it is dull for you, I expect, with us.”
“But I don't at all wish to, mamma.”
“Why, you wanted to see people and now you don't wish it. I really don't understand you, my dear. At one minute you are dull, and the next you suddenly don't care to see any one.”
“Why, I never said I was dull.”
“Why, you said yourself you did not even wish to see her. She is a very good girl, and you always liked her; and now all of a sudden you have some reasons or other. Everything is kept a secret from me.”
“Not at all, mamma.”
“If I were to beg you to do something unpleasant, but as it is, I simply beg you to drive over and return her call. Why, civility demands it, I should suppose … I have begged you to do so, and now I will meddle6 no further since you have secrets from your mother.”
“But I will go, if you wish it.”
“It's nothing to me; it's for your sake I wish it.”
Nikolay sighed, and bit his moustache, and dealt the cards, trying to draw his mother's attention to another subject.
Next day, and the third, and the fourth, the same conversation was repeated again and again.
After her visit to the Rostovs, and the unexpectedly cold reception she had met with from Nikolay, Princess Marya acknowledged to herself that she had been right in not wanting to be the first to call.
“It was just what I expected,” she said to herself, summoning her pride to her aid. “I have no concern with him, and I only wanted to see the old lady, who was always kind to me, and to whom I am under obligation for many things.”
But she could not tranquillise herself with these reflections: a feeling akin7 to remorse8 fretted9 her, when she thought of her visit. Although she was firmly resolved not to call again on the Rostovs, and to forget all about it, she was continually feeling herself in an undefined position. And when she asked herself what it was that worried her, she was obliged to admit that it was her relation to Rostov. His cold, ceremonious tone did not proceed from his feeling for her (of that she was convinced), but that tone covered something. What that something was, she wanted to see clearly, and till then she felt that she could not be at peace.
In the middle of the winter she was sitting in the schoolroom, supervising her nephew's lessons, when the servant announced that Rostov was below. With the firm determination not to betray her secret, and not to manifest any embarrassment10, she summoned Mademoiselle Bourienne, and with her went into the drawing-room.
At the first glance at Nikolay's face, she saw that he had come merely to perform the obligations of civility, and she determined11 to keep to the tone he adopted towards her.
They talked of the health of the countess, of common acquaintances, of the latest news of the war, and when the ten minutes required by propriety12 had elapsed, Nikolay got up to say good-bye.
With the aid of Mademoiselle Bourienne, Princess Marya had kept up the conversation very well. But at the very last moment, just when he was getting up, she was so weary of talking of what did not interest her, and she was so absorbed in wondering why to her alone so little joy had been vouchsafed13 in life, that in a fit of abstraction, she sat motionless gazing straight before her with her luminous14 eyes, and not noticing that he was getting up.
Nikolay looked at her, and anxious to appear not to notice her abstraction, he said a few words to Mademoiselle Bourienne, and again glanced at the princess. She was sitting in the same immovable pose, and there was a look of suffering on her soft face. He felt suddenly sorry for her, and vaguely15 conscious that he might be the cause of the sadness he saw in her face. He longed to help her, to say something pleasant to her, but he could not think what to say to her.
“Good-bye, princess,” he said. She started, flushed, and sighed heavily.
“Oh, I beg your pardon,” she said, as though waking from sleep. “You are going already, count; well, good-bye! Oh, the cushion for the countess?”
“Wait a minute, I will fetch it,” said Mademoiselle Bourienne, and she left the room.
They were both silent, glancing at each other now and then.
“Yes, princess,” said Nikolay at last, with a mournful smile, “it seems not long ago, but how much has happened since the first time we met at Bogutcharovo. We all seemed in such trouble then, but I would give a great deal to have that time back … and there's no bringing it back.”
Princess Marya was looking intently at him with her luminous eyes, as he said that. She seemed trying to divine the secret import of his words, which would make clear his feeling towards her.
“Yes, yes,” she said, “but you have no need to regret the past, count. As I conceive of your life now, you will always think of it with satisfaction, because the self-sacrifice in which you are now …”
“I cannot accept your praises,” he interrupted hurriedly; “on the contrary, I am always reproaching myself; but it is an uninteresting and cheerless subject.”
And again the stiff and cold expression came back into his face. But Princess Marya saw in him again now the man she had known and loved, and it was to that man only she was speaking now.
“I thought you would allow me to say that,” she said. “I have been such intimate friends with you … and with your family, and I thought you would not feel my sympathy intrusive16; but I made a mistake,” she said. Her voice suddenly shook. “I don't know why,” she went on, recovering herself, “you used to be different, and …”
“There are thousands of reasons why.” (He laid special stress on the word why.) “I thank you, princess,” he added softly. “It is sometimes hard …”
“So that is why! That is why!” an inner voice was saying in Princess Marya's soul. “Yes, it was not only that gay, kind, and frank gaze, not only that handsome exterior17 I loved in him; I divined his noble, firm, and self-sacrificing soul,” she said to herself.
“Yes, he is poor now, and I am rich … Yes, it is only that … Yes, if it were not for that …” And recalling all his former tenderness, and looking now at his kind and sad face, she suddenly understood the reason of his coldness.
“Why! count, why?” she almost cried all at once, involuntarily moving nearer to him. “Why, do tell me. You must tell me.” He was mute. “I do not know, count, your why,” she went on. “But I am sad, I … I will own that to you. You mean for some reason to deprive me of our old friendship. And that hurts me.” There were tears in her eyes and in her voice. “I have had so little happiness in my life that every loss is hard for me … Excuse me, good-bye,” she suddenly burst into tears, and was going out of the room.
“Princess! stay, for God's sake,” he cried, trying to stop her. “Princess!”
She looked round. For a few seconds they gazed mutely in each other's eyes, and the remote and impossible became all at once close at hand, possible and inevitable18.
初冬，玛丽亚公爵小姐来到莫斯科。她从城里传闻得知罗斯托夫家的情况，还听说：“当儿子的为母亲自我牺牲”——
城里人都这么说。
“我就知道他是这样一个人。”玛丽亚公爵小姐对自己说，她觉得她还是爱他的，不由得心中一阵喜悦。她回顾她家和罗斯托夫全家旧日的交情，几乎像一家人那么亲密地觉得她应当去看他们。但一想到在沃罗涅日她同尼古拉的关系，又害怕起来。不过在莫斯科待了几个星期后，她还是鼓足勇气去拜访罗斯托夫一家。
第一个迎接她的人是尼古拉，因为去伯爵夫人那里必须先经过他的房间。向玛丽亚公爵小姐第一眼看去时，尼古拉脸上的表情不是她所一直期待的欣喜之情，而是一种她从未见到过的冷淡和高傲。尼古拉向她问了好，把她领到母亲屋里，坐了四五分钟就走了。
公爵小姐从伯爵夫人屋里出来，尼古拉又迎着她，冷淡又一本正经地把她送到前厅，她提起伯爵夫人的健康时他一句话也没有回答。“这关您什么事？别打扰了我的平静！”他的眼神似乎这么说。
“她闯到这里来干什么？她要干什么呀？我实在受不了这些阔小姐和她们的客套！”等公爵小姐的马车一走，他显然控制不住心中的怒气，当着索尼娅的面大声说。
“哎呀，你怎么可以这样说呢？！尼古拉！”索尼娅几乎掩饰不住自己内心中的喜悦，说。“她是那么善良，妈妈又那么爱她。”
尼古拉没有回答，他根本不想再谈到公爵小姐。但自从公爵小姐来访后，伯爵夫人每天都要几次提到她。
伯爵夫人夸奖她，她要儿子到她那儿去一次，并表示想常常看到她。但是，一谈到公爵小姐时，夫人总觉得心中不是滋味。
做母亲的一提起公爵小姐，尼古拉总是不作声，他的沉默更惹急了母亲。
“她可是个又贤惠，又可爱的好姑娘”她说，“你应该去看看她，你总得去见见人，要不老和我们在一起，会憋死的，我这样想着。”
“我一点不想去见人，妈妈。”
“你原来说要见见人，现在又不要见人了。宝贝儿子，我真弄不明白。你一会儿闷得慌，一会儿又不要见人。”
“我又没说过我闷得慌。”
“什么，你不是说你连见都不愿见她吗？她可是个好姑娘，你一向喜欢她，可现在不知什么缘故，什么事都瞒着我。”
“我一点也没有瞒你，妈妈。”
“如果我求你做什么不愉快的事，倒也罢了，我只不过求你回访一次。这是应尽的礼数……我求过你了，既然你有事瞒着母亲，我就再不过问你的事了。”
“您一定要我去的话，我去就是了。”
“我无所谓，我都是为你着想。”
尼古拉咬咬胡子叹了口气，他开始发牌，极力引开母亲的注意力。
第二天、第三天、第四天，一连几天一再重复这样的谈话。
自从访问过罗斯托夫家，受到尼古拉意外的冷遇以后，玛丽亚公爵小姐暗自承认，她原来不想首先去拜访罗斯托夫家，看来这个想法是对的。
“我又没有期望得到其他什么结果，”她借助她的傲气，自言自语地说。“我和他有什么关系，我不过是想看看老太太，她一向待我很好，我欠了她老人家不少情。”
但这些想法并不能使她内心得到安慰：当她回想那次访问时，总有一种悔恨之情在折磨她。尽管她决定不再去罗斯托夫家，把在那里发生的一切都忘掉，但她总觉得自己好像没有着落似的。她问自己，什么事使她烦恼时，她不得不承认，那就是她和尼古拉的关系。他对她彬彬有礼的冷淡态度并非出自他内心的真正的感情（这一点她是知道的），他这种态度掩盖着某种东西。这一点她需要弄明白，而迄今使她内心不能平静的也正是这一点。
仲冬的一天，她正在教室里照看侄儿做功课，仆人通报尼古拉来访。她决定不动声色，竭力保持镇定，她请布里安小姐和她一同到客厅里去。
她第一眼就从尼古拉脸上看出，他只是来回拜一下，于是她就决定采取同他一样的态度。
他们谈到伯爵夫人的健康，谈到一些共同的熟人，也谈到最近的战讯。这样的礼节性的寒暄通常需要十分钟，过后客人就可以起身，此时，尼古拉站起来告辞了。
在布里安小姐的协助下，公爵小姐总算顺利地进行了这场谈话。但是就在最后一分钟，当尼古拉站起来告辞的那个时刻，公爵小姐感到这种敷衍性交谈令人十分疲劳，又想到为什么生活对她个人给予的欢乐是这么少——这种思绪如此萦绕着她的心，以致她突然感到心神恍惚，她那双明亮的眼睛凝视着前方，没有注意到尼古拉已经起立，而她仍然坐在那儿不动。
尼古拉看了看她，想假装没有看出她的走神，就跟布里安小姐谈了几句话，又看了一眼公爵小姐。她依旧坐在那儿不动，和善的脸上现出痛苦的神色。他忽然可怜起她来并模模糊糊地意识到可能是他伤了她的心，使她脸上现出哀怨的表情，他想帮助她，对她说些愉快的话，但想不出说什么才好。
“再见，公爵小姐。”他说。她省悟过来，脸涨得通红，深深地叹了一口气。
“哦，对不起！”她说，仿佛刚苏醒过来，“您要走了，伯爵，那么，再见！那么给伯爵夫人的枕头呢？”
“等一等，我这就去取。”布里安小姐说，走出了房门。
两个人都沉默不语，偶而看一下对方。
“是啊，公爵小姐，”尼古拉露出了苦笑，终于打破了沉默，“我们在博古恰罗沃初次见面以来，好像还是不久前的事，可是发生了多大的变化啊！我们俩人都不走远——我愿意付出一切代价来挽回那段时光……但是一切都挽回不来了。”
尼古拉说话时，公爵小姐那双明亮的眼睛凝视着他的眼睛，她仿佛竭力想从他的话里听出他内心深处对她的真正的感情。
“是的，是的，”她说，“对于过去您没有什么可惋惜的，伯爵。就我所了解的您现在的生活来说，您将会永远愉快地回忆它的，因为您现在的生活充满自我牺牲……”
“我不能接受您的赞扬，”他慌忙打断她的话，“相反，我一直在自我责备，不过说这些太乏味、太没意思了。”
于是他的眼神又像原来一样冷淡。但公爵小姐又从他身上看到原来那个熟悉而心爱的人，而她现在就正在同这个人谈话。
“我想您会让我说这些话吧，”她说，“我同您……同您一家那么亲近，所以我想您不会认为我的同情是不适当的。但我想错了，”她说。此时，她的声音突然颤抖了。“我不知道为什么，”她镇定下来继续说，“您以前不是这样的……”
“为什么——这个为什么有上千条原因（他特别加重说了为什么这三个字）。谢谢您，公爵小姐，”他低声说。“有时心中好难受啊！”
“原来如此！原来如此！”公爵小姐内心的声音在说。“对，我爱他，不光爱他那快乐、善良和开朗的眼神，不光爱他俊俏的外表，我看到他有一颗高尚、刚强和不惜自我牺牲的心，”她在心里自言自语。“是啊！他现在很穷，可我有钱……是啊！就是因为这个……是啊；如果情况不是这样……”她想起他原来的柔情，此刻望着他那善良的、忧郁的脸、她忽然明白了，他为什么冷淡的原因。
“为什么，伯爵，究竟为什么？”她向前凑近他，情不自禁地大声说，“告诉我，为什么？您将告诉我。”他不吭声。“伯爵，我知道您为什么，”她继续说。“可是，我心里感到很难过，我……我向您承认这一点。您为什么要使我失去我们原来的友谊。这使我深感痛心。”她喉咙里哽咽着，眼里含着泪。“我的生活里本来就很少有幸福，因此失去任何东西都使我更加难过……原谅我，再见。”她突然哭起来，走出屋去。
“公爵小姐！看在上帝份上，等一下！”他喊道，竭力拦住她。“公爵小姐！”
她回过头来，看着他，他们默默地相视了几秒钟，于是那遥远的原本不可能的事情，突然一下子变成了眼前的，即将成为现实的甚至是无法避免的事情了。
收听单词发音 |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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confirmation
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| n.证实，确认，批准 | |
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chilliness
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| n.寒冷，寒意，严寒 | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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conscientious
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| adj.审慎正直的，认真的，本着良心的 | |
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meddle
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| v.干预，干涉，插手 | |
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akin
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| adj.同族的，类似的 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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fretted
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| 焦躁的，附有弦马的，腐蚀的 | |
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embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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propriety
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| n.正当行为；正当；适当 | |
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vouchsafed
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| v.给予，赐予( vouchsafe的过去式和过去分词 )；允诺 | |
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luminous
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| adj.发光的，发亮的；光明的；明白易懂的；有启发的 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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intrusive
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| adj.打搅的；侵扰的 | |
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exterior
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| adj.外部的，外在的；表面的 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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