This was but one of many such meetings, Thurston growing more and more infatuated each time, while Marian scarcely tried to hide the pleasure which his society gave her.
One day when riding through the forest he met Marian returning from the village and on foot. She was radiant with health and beauty, and blushing and smiling with joy as she met him. A little basket hung upon her arm. To dismount and join her, to take the basket from her arm, and to look in her face and declare in broken exclamations1 his delight at seeing her, were the words and the work of an instant.
"And whither away this morning, fairest Marian?" he inquired, when unrebuked he had pressed her hand to his lips, and drawn2 it through his arm.
"It is a long walk through the forest."
"But it is beautiful weather, and I enjoy walking," said the young girl.
"Marian—dearest Marian, will you let me attend you home? The walk is lonely, and it may not be quite safe for a fair woman to take it unattended."
"I have no fear of interruption," said Marian.
"Yet you will not refuse to let me attend you? Do not, Marian!" he pleaded, earnestly, fervently, clasping her hand, and pouring the whole strength of his soul in the gaze that he fastened on her face.
"I thank you; but you were riding the other way."
"It was merely an idle saunter, to help to kill the time between this and Sunday, dearest girl. Now, rest you, my queen! my queen! upon this mossy rock, as on a throne, while I ride forward and leave my horse. I will be with you again in fifteen minutes; in the meantime here is something for you to look at," he said, drawing from his pocket an elegant little volume bound in purple and gold, and laying it in her lap. He then smiled, sprang into his saddle, bowed, and galloped8 away, leaving Marian to examine her book. It was a London copy of Spenser's Fairy Queen, superbly illustrated9, one of the rarest books to be found in the whole country at that day. On the fly-leaf the name of Marian was written, in the hand of Thurston.
Some minutes passed in the pleasing examination of the volume; and Marian was still turning the leaves with unmixed pleasure—pleasure in the gift, and pleasure in the giver—when Thurston, even before the appointed time, suddenly rejoined her.
"So absorbed in Spenser that you did not even hear or see me!" said the young man, half reproachfully.
"I was indeed far gone in Fairy Land! Oh, I thank you so much for your beautiful present! It is indeed a treasure. I shall prize it greatly," said Marian, in unfeigned delight.
"Do you know that Fairy Land is not obsolete10, dearest Marian?" he said, fixing his eyes upon her charming face with an ardor11 and earnestness that caused hers to sink.
"Come," she said, in a low voice, and rising from the rock; "let us leave this place and go forward."
They walked on, speaking softly of many things—of the vision of Spenser, of the beautiful autumnal weather, of anything except the one interest that now occupied both hearts. The fear of startling her bashful trust, and banishing12 those bewitching glances that sometimes lightened on his face, made him cautious, and restrained his eagerness; while excessive consciousness kept her cheeks dyed with blushes, and her nerves vibrating sweet, wild music, like the strings13 of some aeolian harp14 when swept by the swift south wind.
He determined15, during the walk, to plead his love, and ascertain16 his fate. Ay! but how approach the subject when, at every ardent17 glance or tone, her face, her heart, shrank and closed up, like the leaves of the sensitive plant.
So they rambled18 on, discovering new beauties in nature; now it would be merely an oak leaf of rare richness of coloring; now some tiny insect with finished elegance19 of form; now a piece of the dried branch of a tree that Thurston picked up, to bid her note the delicately blending shades in its gray hue20, or the curves and lines of grace in its twisted form—the beauty of its slow return to dust; and now perhaps it would be the mingled21 colors in the heaps of dried leaves drifted at the foot of some great tree.
And then from the minute loveliness of nature's sweet, small things, their eyes would wander to the great glory of the autumnal sky, or the variegated22 array of the gorgeous forest.
Thurston knew a beautiful glade23, not far distant, to the left of their path, from which there was a very fine view that he wished to show his companion. And he led Marian thither24 by a little moss-bordered, descending25 path.
It was a natural opening in the forest, from which, down a still, descending vista26, between the trees, could be seen the distant bay, and the open country near it, all glowing under a refulgent27 sky, and hazy28 with the golden mist of Indian Summer. Before them the upper branches of the nearest trees formed a natural arch above the picture.
Marian stood and gazed upon the wondrous29 beauty of the scene with soft, steady eyes, with lips breathlessly severed30, in perfect silence and growing emotion.
"This pleases you," said Thurston.
She nodded, without removing her gaze.
"You find it charming?"
She nodded again, and smiled.
"You were never here before?"
"Never."
"Marian, you are a lover of nature."
"I do not know," she said, softly, "whether it be love, or worship, or both; but some pictures spell-bind31 me. I stand amidst a scene like this, enchanted32, until my soul has absorbed as much of its beauty and glory and wisdom as it can absorb. As the Ancient Mariner33 held with his 'glittering eye' the wedding guest, so such a picture holds me enthralled34 until I have heard the story and learned the lesson it has to tell and teach me. Did you ever, in the midst of nature's liberal ministrations, feel your spirit absorbing, assimilating, growing? Or is it only a fantastic action of mine that beauty is the food of soul?"
He forgot his prudence36, forgot her claims, forgot everything, and caught and strained her to his bosom37, pressing passionate38 kisses upon her lips, and the next instant he was kneeling at her feet, imploring39 her to forgive him—to hear him.
Marian stood with her face bowed and hidden in her hands; but above the tips of her fingers, her forehead, crimsoned40, might be seen. One half her auburn hair had escaped and rippled41 down in glittering disorder42. And so she stood a few moments. But soon, removing her hands and turning away, she said, in a troubled tone:
"First pardon me—first hear me, beloved girl!"
"Oh, rise—rise, I beg you! I cannot bear to see a man on his knee, except in prayer to God!" she said, walking away.
He sprang up and followed her, took her hand, and, with gentle compulsion, made her sit down upon a bank; and then he sank beside her, exclaiming eagerly, vehemently44, yet in a low, half-smothered tone:
"Marian, I love you! I never spoke45 these words to woman before, for I never loved before. Marian, the first moment that I saw you I loved you, without knowing what new life it was that had kindled46 in my nature. I have loved you more and more every day! I love you more than words can tell or heart conceive! I only live in your presence! Marian! not one word or glance for me? Oh, speak! Turn your dear face toward me," he said, putting his hand gently around her head. "Speak to me, Marian, for I adore—I worship you!"
"I do not deserve to be loved in that way. I do not wish it, for it is wrong—idolatrous," she said, in a low, trembling voice.
"Oh! what do you mean? Is the love upon which my life seems to hang so offensive to you? Say, Marian! Oh! you are compassionate47 by nature; how can you keep me in the torture of suspense48?"
"I do not keep you so."
"You will let me love you?"
Marian slipped her hand in his; that was her reply.
"You will love me?"
For all answer she gently pressed his fingers. He pressed her hand to his heart, to his lips, covering it with kisses.
"Yet, oh! speak to me, dearest; let me hear from your lips that you love me—a little—but better than I deserve. Will you? Say, Marian! Speak, dearest girl!"
"I cannot tell you now," she said, in a low, thrilling tone. "I am disturbed; I wish to grow quiet; and I must go home. Let us return."
One more passionate kiss of the hand he clasped, and then he helped her to her feet, drew her arm within his own, and led her up the moss-covered rocks that formed the natural steps of the ascent49 that led to the homeward path.
Marian drew her arm from his, and, extending her hand, said:
"This is the place our roads part."
"But you will let me attend you home?"
"No; it would make the return walk too long."
"That can be no consideration, I beg you will let me go with you,
Marian."
"No; it would not be convenient to Edith to-day," said Marian, quickly drawing her hand from his detaining grasp, waving him adieu, and walking swiftly away across the meadow.
Thurston gazed after her, strongly tempted51 to follow her; yet withal admitting that it was best that she had declined his escort to the cottage, and thanking Heaven that the opportunity would again be afforded to take an "incidental" stroll with her, as she should walk to church on Sunday morning; and so, forming the resolution to haunt the forest-path from seven o'clock that next Sabbath morning until he should see her, Thurston hurried home.
And how was it with Marian? She hastened to the cottage, laid off her bonnet52 and shawl, and set herself at work as diligently53 as usual; but a higher bloom glowed on her cheek, a softer, brighter light beamed in her eye, a warmer, sweeter smile hovered54 around her lips, a deeper, richer tone thrilled in her voice.
On Sunday morning the lovers "chanced" to meet again—for so Thurston would still have had it appear as he permitted Marian to overtake him in the forest on her way to the Sunday-school.
She was blooming and beautiful as the morning itself as she approached.
He turned with a radiant smile to greet her.
"Welcome! thrice welcome, dearest one! Your coming is more joyous55 than that of day. Welcome, my own, dear Marian! May I now call you mine? Have I read that angel-smile aright? Is it the blessed herald56 of a happy answer to my prayer?" he whispered, as he took her hand and passed his arm around her head and brought it down upon his bosom. "Speak, my Marian! Speak, my beloved! Are you my own, as I am yours?"
Her answer was so low-toned that he had to bend his head down close to her lips to hear her murmur57:
"I love you dearly. But I love you too well to ruin your prospects58. You must not bind yourself to me just yet, dear Thurston," and meekly59 and gently she sought to slip from his embrace.
But he slid his arm around her lightly, bending his head and whispering eagerly:
"What mean you, Marian? Your words are incomprehensible."
"Dear Thurston," she answered, in a tremulous and thrilling voice, "I have known your grandfather long by report, and I am well aware of his character and disposition60 and habits. But only yesterday I chanced to learn from one who was well informed that old Mr. Willcoxen had sworn to make you his heir only upon condition of your finding a bride of equal or superior fortunes. If now you were to engage yourself to me, your grandfather would disinherit you. I love you too well," she murmured very low, "to ruin your fortunes. You must not bind yourself to me just now, Thurston."
And this loving, frank and generous creature was the woman, he thought, whose good name he would have periled61 in a clandestine62 courtship in preference to losing his inheritance by an open betrothal63. A stab of compunction pierced his bosom; he felt that he loved her more than ever, but passion was stronger than affection, stronger than conscience, stronger than anything in nature, except pride and ambition. He lightened his clasp about her waist—he bent64 and whispered:
"Beloved Marian, is it to bind me only that you hesitate?"
"Only that," she answered, softly.
"Now hear me, Marian. I swear before Heaven, and in thy sight—that—as I have never loved woman before you—that—as I love you only of all women—I will be faithful to you while I live upon this earth! as your husband, if you will accept me; as your exclusive lover, whether you will or not! I hold myself pledged to you as long as we both shall live! There, Marian! I am bound to you as tight as vows65 can bind! I am pledged to you whether you accept my pledge or not. You cannot even release, for I am pledged to Heaven as well. There, Marian, you see I am bound, while you only are free. Come! be generous! You have said that you loved me! Pledge yourself to me in like manner. We are both young, dear Marian, and we can wait. Only let me have your promise to be my wife—only let me have that blessed assurance for the future, and I can endure the present. Speak, dear Marian."
"Your grandfather—"
"He has no grudge66 against you, personally, sweet girl; he knows nothing, suspects nothing of my preferences—how should he? No, dearest girl—his notion that I must have a moneyed bride is the merest whim67 of dotage68; we must forgive the whims69 of ninety-five. That great age also augurs70 for us a short engagement and a speedy union!"
"Oh! never let us dream of that! It would be sinful, and draw down upon us the displeasure of Heaven. Long may the old man yet live to prepare for a better life."
"Amen; so be it; God forbid that I should grudge the aged71 patriarch his few remaining days upon earth—days, too, upon which his soul's immortal72 welfare may depend," said Thurston. "But, dearest girl, it is more difficult to get a reply from you than from a prime minister. Answer, now, once for all, sweet girl! since I am forever bound to you; will you pledge yourself to become my own dear wife?"
"Yes," whispered Marian, very lowly.
"And will you," he asked, gathering73 her form closer to his bosom, "will you redeem74 that pledge when I demand it?"
"Yes," she murmured sweetly, "so that it is not to harm you, or bring you into trouble or poverty; for that I would not consent to do!"
"God bless you; you are an angel! Oh! Marian! I find it in my heart to sigh because I am so unworthy of you!"
And this was spoken most sincerely.
"You think too well of me. I fear—I fear for the consequences."
"Why, dearest Marian?"
"Oh, I fear that when you know me better you may love me less," she answered, in a trembling voice.
"Why should I?"
"Oh! because your love may have been attracted by ideal qualities, with which you yourself have invested me; and when your eyes are opened you may love me less."
"May my soul forever perish the day that I cease to love you!" said Thurston, passionately75 pressing her to his heart, and sealing his fearful oath upon her pure brow and guileless lips. "And now, beloved! this compact is sealed! Our fates are united forever! Henceforth nothing shall dissever us!"
They were now drawing near the village.
Marian suddenly stopped.
"Dear Thurston," she said, "if you are seen waiting upon me to church do you know what the people will say? They will say that Marian has a new admirer in Mr. Willcoxen—and that will reach your grandfather's ears, and give you trouble."
"Stay! one moment, beautiful Marian! When shall we meet again?"
"When Heaven wills."
"And when will that be, fairest?"
"I do not know; but do not visit me at the cottage, dear Thurston, it would be indiscreet."
"Marian! I must see you often. Will you meet me on the beach to-morrow afternoon?"
"No," answered Marian, gravely, "in this single instance, I must not meet you, though my heart pleads like a sick child with me to do it, Thurston, dear Thurston."
She raised her eyes to his as she spoke, and giving way to a sudden impulse, dropped her head upon his shoulder, put her arms around his neck, and embraced him. And then his better angel rose above the storm of passion that was surging through his veins76, and calmed the tumult77, and spoke through his lips.
"You are right, Marian—fairest and dearest, you are right. And I not only love you best of all women, but honor you more than all men. It shall be as you have said. I will not seek you anywhere. As the mother, dying of plague, denies herself the parting embrace of her 'unstricken' child—so, for your sake, will I refrain from the heaven of your presence."
"And, dear Thurston," she said, raising her head, "it will not be so hard to bear, as you now think. We shall see each other every Sunday in the church, and every Monday in the lecture-room. We shall often be of the same invited company at neighbors' houses. Remember, also, that Christmas is coming, with its protracted78 festivities, when we shall see each other almost every evening, at some little neighborhood gathering. And now I must really hurry; oh! how late I am this morning! Good-by, dearest Thurston!"
"Good-by, my own Marian."
Blushingly she received, his parting kiss, and hurried along the little foot-path leading to the village.
Thurston had been perfectly79 sincere in his resolution not to seek a private interview with Marian; and he kept it faithfully all the week, with less temptation to break it, because he did not know where to watch for her.
But Sunday came again—and Thurston, with a little bit of human self-deception and finesse80, avoided the forest path, where he had met her the preceding Sabbath, and saying to himself that he would not waylay81 her, took the river road, refusing to confess even to himself that he acted upon the calculation that she also would take the same road, in order to avoid meeting him in the forest.
His "calculus82 of probabilities" had not failed him. He had not walked far upon the forest-shaded banks of the river before he saw Marian walking before him. He hastened and overtook her.
At first seeing him her face flushed radiant with surprise and joy. She seemed to think that nothing short of necromancy83 could have conjured84 him to that spot. She had no reproaches for him, because she had no suspicion that he had trifled with his promise not to seek her. But she expressed her astonishment85.
"I did not know you ever came this way," she said.
"Nor did I ever before, love; but I remembered my pledge, not to follow or to seek you, and so I avoided the woodland path where we met last Sunday," said Thurston, persuading himself that he spoke the precise truth.
It is not necessary to pursue with them this walk; lovers scarcely thank us for such intrusions. It is sufficient to say that this was not the last one.
Blinded by passion and self-deception, and acting86 upon the same astute87 calculus of probabilities, Thurston often contrived88 to meet Marian in places where his presence might be least expected, and most often in paths that she had taken for the express purpose of keeping out of his way.
Thus it fell that many forest walks and seashore strolls were taken, all through the lovely Indian summer weather. And these seemed so much the result of pure accident that Marian never dreamed of complaining that his pledge had been tampered89 with.
But Thurston began to urge her consent to a private marriage.
From a secret engagement to a secret marriage, the transition seemed to him very easy.
"And, dearest Marian, we are both of age, both free—we should neither displease90 God nor wrong man, by such a step—while it would at the same time secure our union, and save us from injustice91 and oppression! do you not see?"
Such was his argument, which he pleaded and enforced with all the powers of passion and eloquence92. In vain. Though every interview increased his power over the maiden—though her affections and her will were both subjected, the domain93 of conscience was unconquered. And Marian still answered:
"Though a secret marriage would break no law of God or man, nor positively94 wrong any human creature, yet it might be the cause of misunderstanding and suspicion—and perhaps calumny95, causing much distress96 to those who love and respect me. Therefore it would be wrong. And I must do no wrong, even for your dear sake."
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1
exclamations
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| n.呼喊( exclamation的名词复数 )；感叹；感叹语；感叹词 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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pony
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| adj.小型的；n.小马 | |
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lamed
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| 希伯莱语第十二个字母 | |
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6
dispense
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| vt.分配，分发；配(药)，发(药)；实施 | |
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fervently
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| adv.热烈地，热情地，强烈地 | |
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galloped
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| （使马）飞奔，奔驰( gallop的过去式和过去分词 )； 快速做[说]某事 | |
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illustrated
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| adj. 有插图的，列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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obsolete
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| adj.已废弃的，过时的 | |
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ardor
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| n.热情，狂热 | |
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banishing
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的现在分词 ) | |
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strings
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| n.弦 | |
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harp
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| n.竖琴；天琴座 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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rambled
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| （无目的地）漫游( ramble的过去式和过去分词 )； （喻）漫谈； 扯淡； 长篇大论 | |
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elegance
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| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
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hue
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| n.色度；色调；样子 | |
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mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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variegated
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| adj.斑驳的，杂色的 | |
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glade
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| n.林间空地，一片表面有草的沼泽低地 | |
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thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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descending
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| n. 下行 adj. 下降的 | |
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vista
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| n.远景，深景，展望，回想 | |
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refulgent
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| adj.辉煌的，灿烂的 | |
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hazy
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| adj.有薄雾的，朦胧的；不肯定的，模糊的 | |
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wondrous
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| adj.令人惊奇的，奇妙的；adv.惊人地；异乎寻常地；令人惊叹地 | |
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30
severed
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| v.切断，断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 )；断，裂 | |
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bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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mariner
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| n.水手号不载人航天探测器，海员，航海者 | |
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enthralled
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| 迷住，吸引住( enthrall的过去式和过去分词 )； 使感到非常愉快 | |
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eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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prudence
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| n.谨慎，精明，节俭 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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imploring
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| 恳求的，哀求的 | |
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crimsoned
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| 变为深红色（crimson的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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rippled
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| 使泛起涟漪（ripple的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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homage
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| n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬 | |
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vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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45
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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46
kindled
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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47
compassionate
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| adj.有同情心的，表示同情的 | |
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48
suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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49
ascent
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| n.(声望或地位)提高；上升，升高；登高 | |
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verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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bonnet
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| n.无边女帽；童帽 | |
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diligently
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| ad.industriously;carefully | |
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hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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herald
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| vt.预示...的来临，预告，宣布，欢迎 | |
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murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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meekly
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| adv.温顺地，逆来顺受地 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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periled
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| 置…于危险中（peril的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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clandestine
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| adj.秘密的，暗中从事的 | |
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betrothal
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| n. 婚约, 订婚 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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grudge
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| n.不满，怨恨，妒嫉；vt.勉强给，不情愿做 | |
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whim
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| n.一时的兴致，突然的念头；奇想，幻想 | |
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dotage
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| n.年老体衰；年老昏聩 | |
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WHIMS
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| 虚妄，禅病 | |
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augurs
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| n.（古罗马的）占兆官( augur的名词复数 )；占卜师，预言者v.预示，预兆，预言( augur的第三人称单数 )；成为预兆；占卜 | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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redeem
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| v.买回，赎回，挽回，恢复，履行（诺言等） | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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protracted
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| adj.拖延的；延长的v.拖延“protract”的过去式和过去分词 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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finesse
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| n.精密技巧，灵巧，手腕 | |
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waylay
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| v.埋伏，伏击 | |
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calculus
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| n.微积分；结石 | |
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necromancy
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| n.巫术；通灵术 | |
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conjured
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| 用魔术变出( conjure的过去式和过去分词 )； 祈求，恳求； 变戏法； （变魔术般地） 使…出现 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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astute
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| adj.机敏的，精明的 | |
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contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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tampered
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| v.窜改( tamper的过去式 )；篡改；（用不正当手段）影响；瞎摆弄 | |
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displease
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| vt.使不高兴，惹怒；n.不悦，不满，生气 | |
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injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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domain
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| n.(活动等)领域，范围；领地，势力范围 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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calumny
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| n.诽谤，污蔑，中伤 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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