To his surprise Ben Sansome found himself warming to what he considered a real passion. At least it was as real a passion as he was capable of feeling. Sansome had always been spoiled. Accustomed as he was to easy conquests, especially of late among the faster San Francisco women of the early days, Nan Keith's very aloofness1 attracted him. She dwelt in a serene2 atmosphere of unsuspicion, going about freely with him, taking their right relations for granted, and not thinking about them. Contemplating3 this, Sansome was clever enough to see that, a false move at the wrong time would do for him. Therefore, he occupied himself at first merely in making himself useful. He accepted Keith's role for him, becoming the friend of the family, dropping in often and informally, happening on the spot at just the right time to relieve Keith of the necessity of escorting Nan to this or that tea or ball. So well did he play his part that at last there came a time when Keith said:
"I'm dead tired to-night, Nan. Seems as if I couldn't stand chatter4. Can't you send a note around to Ben and see if he can't get you there and back?"
This came to be a regular thing. If Sansome did not happen to be there, he was sent for. And his engagements were never such that he failed to accept.
He and Keith called each other by their given names; but even after a close intimacy5 had been established, he never addressed Nan by hers.
"You sound very formal," she hinted to him at last.
"To me the privilege of calling you by your 'little name' is so great an evidence of friendship, that it actually seems like flaunting6 that friendship to call you so before others" he replied.
Always after that he called her "Nan" when they were alone together, but "Mrs. Keith" when a third, even Keith himself, was present. In that way their tete-a-tetes were marked off a little. When alone with her he maintained the pose of one struggling manfully against tremendous temptations held back only by her sweet influence. But he never overdid8 it. As they came to know each other better, he talked ever the more freely of men's mysterious temptations. Nan could not define to herself exactly what they might be.
"Yesterday I couldn't see you," he told her. "I struggled with myself all day. Good God, what does a woman like you know of a man's weaknesses and temptations--But I conquered."
Nan was uneasy. She did not know quite what it was all about, but her instincts warned her.
"I am glad," she replied; and went on hastily, "but you must tell me what you think about having the tea served in the arbour on the seventh, I've been dying to ask you."
With an obvious effort to be cheerful about this fresh subject, he wrenched9 himself into a new mood. They consulted on the party for the seventh. He broke off abruptly10 to say: "Do you know you're an extraordinary person--but you are!" he overrode11 her protests. "Don't I know the ordinary kind? Women have a deep strength of their own that men cannot understand."
He stayed only a few minutes after that. On parting he for the first time permitted himself a lingering gaze into her eyes as he reluctantly relinquished12 her hand. She turned away, distinctly uneasy. Yet so skilfully13 had he woven, his illusion of dependence14 on her that she shook it off with a tender and maternal15 smile.
"Poor boy," she murmured. "He is so unhappy and alone!"
Sansome was an accomplished16 equestrian17. Finding that Nan knew nothing whatever about riding, he procured18 her a gentle horse, and took the greatest trouble and pleasure in teaching her. She proved apt, for she had good natural control of her body. After the first uncertainty19 and the first stiffness had worn off, she delighted in long rides toward different parts of the peninsula. Gringo, now a full-grown dog inclining toward the shepherd more than anything else, delighted in them, too. He ranged far and wide in front of the horses, exploring every ditch and thicket20, wallowing happily in every mudhole, returning occasionally to roll his comical eyes at them as though to say, "Aren't we having a good time?" for Gringo was a dog with a sense of humour. On these excursions she renewed acquaintance with the sand dunes21, and the little canons with birds, and the broad beach at low tide on which it was glorious to gallop22. Once or twice they even stopped at the little rancho where the Keiths had lunched. There Nan, through Sansome, who talked Spanish, was able to communicate with her kindly23 hosts; and Gringo met his honoured but rather snappy mother. The mother disowned him utterly24. As the days grew shorter they often rode on the Presidio hills, watching the sun set beyond the Golden Gate.
One such evening they had reined25 up their horses atop one of the hills next the Gate. The sun had set somewhere beyond the headlands. Tamalpais was deep pink with the glow; the water in the Gate was pale lilac; the sky close to the horizon burned orange, but above turned to a pale green that made with its lucent colour alone infinite depths and spaces. Below, the darker waters twisted and turned with the tide. The western headlands were black silhouettes26.
"Oh, but it is beautiful!" she said at last.
"Yes, it is beautiful," he agreed somberly; "but when one is lonely, somehow it hurts."
There ensued a short, tense silence, broken only by the soft rolling of the bit wheels in the horses' mouths.
"Yes," she agreed softly, after a moment, "I feel that, too. Yet sometimes I wonder if one doesn't see and feel more keenly when one is not too happy--" She hesitated.
"Yes, yes! Go on!" he urged in a low voice. His tone, his attitude, suddenly seemed to envelop27 her with understanding. He appeared to offer her aid, chivalrous28 aid, although no word was spoken. She had not quite meant it that way; in fact, her thought was to offer _him_ sympathy. But somehow it was grateful. It would do no harm to enjoy it, secretly, for a moment. His unexpressed sympathy--for what she would have been unable to say--was attractive to her isolation30.
Often on returning from these rides she asked him in for a cup of tea. Occasionally, when she was overheated, or damp from the fog, she would excuse herself and slip into a soft negligee. With lamp and fire lit they made a very cozy31 tete-a-tete. He smoked contemplatively; she stitched at the inevitable32 embroidery33 of the period. Occasionally they talked animatedly34; quite as frequently they sat in sociable35 silence. Gringo slept by the fire dreaming of rabbits and things, his hind36 legs twitching37 as he triumphantly38 ran them down. One evening she caught sight of a rip in the sewing of his tobacco pouch39. In spite of his protests, she insisted on sewing it up for him. She was conscious of his eyes on her while she plied7 the needle, and felt somehow very feminine and sure of her power.
"There!" she cried, when she had finished. "You certainly do need somebody to take care of you!"
He took it without spoken thanks, and put it slowly away in his pocket--as though, he would have kissed it. A pregnant silence followed, he sitting staring at her, she jabbing the needle idly into the arm of her chair. Suddenly, as though taking a tremendous resolution, he spoke29:
"Nan, I am going to ask you a question. You must not be offended. Do you really love your husband?" At her hasty movement he hurried on: "I imagine I feel something unsatisfied about you--besides, lots of women don't."
As he probably expected, her indignation was thoroughly40 aroused. He took his castigation41 and dismissal meekly42, and found some interest in the ensuing negotiations43 toward reconciliation44. No one knew better than he how to sue for forgiveness. But he was quite satisfied to have implanted the idea, for Ben Sansome was content with slow coral-insect progress. A busy man, engaged in men's occupations, would never have had the patience for this leisurely45 establishment of atmosphere and influence; his impatience46 or passion would have betrayed him to an early outbreak. But with Sansome it was the practice of a fine art. He knew just how far to go. No one could more skilfully ingratiate himself in small ways. He always knew what gown she should wear or had worn, and always commented appreciatively on what she had on. Keith merely knew vaguely47 whether she looked well or ill. Sansome noticed and praised little things--her well-shod feet, the red lights in her hair, an unusual flower in her belt. He knew every hat she owned, and he had his well-marked preferences. He never made direct love, nor attempted to touch her. She felt the growing attraction, enjoyed it, but did not analyze48 it. She merely considered Ben Sansome as "nice," as needing guidance, as romantic----
Occasionally, after seeing more than usual of him, some feeling of reaction or some faint stirring of conscience would impel49 her--perhaps to convince herself of the harmlessness of it all--to make an especial effort to draw her husband out of his preoccupation into more human relations. She dressed with great care, earlier than usual; she gathered flowers for the vases, she fussed about lighting50 lamps, placing ash trays and chairs, generally arranging the setting for his welcome home. The preparations kindled51 her own enthusiasm. She became herself quite worked up in anticipation52. When she heard his step, she ran to meet him in the hall. Keith happened to be tired to the point of exhaustion53.
"Good heavens!" was his comment; "are we having company to-night? Why all the clothes and illumination?"
His relaxed, dispirited manner of removing and hanging up his coat reacted upon her instantly. Her high spirits sank to the depths. They ate their meal in almost complete silence. Nan could not help visualizing54 Sansome's appreciation55 of such an occasion.
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1
aloofness
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| 超然态度 | |
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serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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chatter
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| vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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flaunting
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| adj.招摇的，扬扬得意的，夸耀的v.炫耀，夸耀( flaunt的现在分词 )；有什么能耐就施展出来 | |
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plied
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| v.使用（工具）( ply的过去式和过去分词 )；经常供应（食物、饮料）；固定往来；经营生意 | |
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overdid
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| v.做得过分( overdo的过去式 )；太夸张；把…煮得太久；（工作等）过度 | |
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wrenched
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| v.（猛力地）扭( wrench的过去式和过去分词 )；扭伤；使感到痛苦；使悲痛 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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overrode
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| 越控( override的过去式 )； （以权力）否决； 优先于； 比…更重要 | |
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relinquished
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| 交出，让给( relinquish的过去式和过去分词 )； 放弃 | |
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skilfully
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| adv. (美skillfully)熟练地 | |
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dependence
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| n.依靠，依赖；信任，信赖；隶属 | |
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maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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equestrian
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| adj.骑马的；n.马术 | |
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procured
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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thicket
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| n.灌木丛，树林 | |
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dunes
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| 沙丘( dune的名词复数 ) | |
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gallop
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| v./n.(马或骑马等)飞奔；飞速发展 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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reined
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| 勒缰绳使（马）停步( rein的过去式和过去分词 )； 驾驭； 严格控制； 加强管理 | |
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silhouettes
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| 轮廓( silhouette的名词复数 )； （人的）体形； （事物的）形状； 剪影 | |
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envelop
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| vt.包，封，遮盖；包围 | |
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chivalrous
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| adj.武士精神的；对女人彬彬有礼的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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isolation
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| n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离 | |
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cozy
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| adj.亲如手足的，密切的，暖和舒服的 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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embroidery
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| n.绣花，刺绣；绣制品 | |
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animatedly
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| adv.栩栩如生地，活跃地 | |
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sociable
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| adj.好交际的，友好的，合群的 | |
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hind
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| adj.后面的，后部的 | |
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twitching
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| n.颤搐 | |
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triumphantly
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| ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地 | |
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pouch
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| n.小袋，小包，囊状袋；vt.装...入袋中，用袋运输；vi.用袋送信件 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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castigation
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| n.申斥，强烈反对 | |
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meekly
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| adv.温顺地，逆来顺受地 | |
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43
negotiations
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| 协商( negotiation的名词复数 )； 谈判； 完成（难事）； 通过 | |
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reconciliation
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| n.和解，和谐，一致 | |
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leisurely
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| adj.悠闲的；从容的，慢慢的 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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48
analyze
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| vt.分析，解析 (=analyse) | |
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49
impel
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| v.推动；激励，迫使 | |
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50
lighting
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| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
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51
kindled
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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52
anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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53
exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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54
visualizing
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| 肉眼观察 | |
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55
appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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