In this voluntary seclusion1 Nan saw laterally2 only two persons. One of these was Mrs. Sherwood. The ex-gambler's wife called frequently; and, for some reason, Nan never refused to see her, although she did not make her visitor particularly welcome. Often an almost overmastering impulse seized her to open her soul to this charming, sympathetic, tactful woman, but something always restrained her. Her heart was too sore. And since an inhibited3 impulse usually expresses itself by contraries, her attitude was of studied and aloof4 politeness. Mrs. Sherwood never seemed to notice this. She sat in the high-ceilinged "parlour," with its strange fresco5 of painted fish-nets, and chatted on in a cheerful monologue6, detailing small gossipy items of news. She always said goodbye cordially, and went out with a wonderful assumption of ignorance that anything was wrong. Her visits did Nan good, although never could the latter break through the ice wall of reserve. Nan's conscience often hurt her that she could answer this genuine friendship with so little cordiality. She wondered dully how Mrs. Sherwood could bring herself to be so good to so cross-grained a creature as herself. As a matter of fact, the women were marking time in their relations--Mrs. Sherwood consciously, Nan unconsciously--until better days.
The other regular caller was Ben Sansome. His attitude was in some sense detached. He was quietly, deeply sympathetic in his manner, never obtrusive7, never even hinting in words at his knowledge of the state of affairs, but managing in some subtle manner to convey the impression that he alone fully8 understood. Nan found that, without her realization9, almost in spite of herself, Sansome had managed to isolate10 her with himself on a little island of mutual11 understanding, apart from all the rest of the world.
Her life was now becoming circumscribed12. Household, books, some small individual charities, and long afternoon walks filled her days. At first Sansome had accompanied her on these tramps, but the unfailing, almost uncanny insight of the man told him that at such times her spirit really craved13 solitude14, so he soon tactfully ceased all attempts to join her. Her usual walk was over the cliffs toward the bay, where, from some of the elevations15 near Russian Hill, she could look out to the Golden Gate, or across to Tamalpais or the Contra Costa shores. The crawl of the distant blue water, the flash of wing or sail, the taste of salt rime16, the canon shadows of the hills, the flying murk, or the last majestic17 and magnificent blotting18 out of the world as the legions of sea fog overtoiled it, all answered or soothed19 moods in her spirit. Sometimes she forgot herself and overstayed the daylight. At such times she scuttled20 home half fearfully for the great city, like a jungle beast, was most dangerous at night.
One evening, returning thus in haste, she was lured21 aside by the clang of bells and the glare of a fire. No child ever resisted that combination, and Nan was still a good deal of a child. Almost before she knew, it she was wedged fast in a crowd. The pressure was suffocating22; and, to her alarm, she found herself surrounded by a rough-looking set of men. They were probably harmless workingmen, but Nan did not know that. She became frightened, and tried to escape, but her strength was not equal to it. Near the verge23 of panic, she was fairly on the point of struggling, when she felt an arm thrown around her shoulder. She looked up with a cry, to meet Ben Sansome's brown eyes.
"Don't be afraid; I'm here," he said soothingly24.
In the revulsion Nan fairly thrilled under the touch of his manly25, protection. This impulse was followed instantly, by an instinct of withdrawal26 from the embrace about her shoulder, which was in turn succeeded by a fierce scorn of being prudish27 in such circumstances. Sansome masterfully worked her out through the press. At the last tactful moment he withdrew his arm. She thanked him, still a little frightened.
"It was certainly lucky you happened to be here!" she ended.
"Lucky!" he laughed briefly28. "I knew that sooner or later you'd need me."
He stopped at that, but allowed her questions to elicit29 the fact that every afternoon he had followed her at a discreet30 distance, scrupulously31 respecting her privacy, but ready for the need that sooner or later must surely arrive. Nan was touched.
"You have no right to endanger yourself this way!" he cried, as though carried away. "It is not just to those who care for you!" and by the tone of his voice, the look of his eye, the slight emphasizing pressure of his hand he managed to convey to her, but in a manner to which she could not possibly object, his belief that his last phrase referred more to himself than to any one else in the world.
It was about this period that John Sherwood, dressing32 for dinner, remarked to his wife:
"Patsy, the more I see of you the more I admire you. Do you remember that Firemen's Ball when you started in to break up that Keith-Morrell affair? He dropped her so far that I haven't heard her _plunk_ yet! I don't know what made me think of it--it was a long time ago."
"Yes, that was all right," she replied thoughtfully, "but I'm not as pleased as I might be with the Keith situation."
Sherwood stopped tying his cravat33 and turned to face her.
"He's perfectly34 straight, I assure you," he said earnestly. "I don't believe he knows that any other woman but his wife exists. I _know_ that. But I wish he'd go a little easier with the men."
"Oh, I wasn't thinking of him. She's the culprit now."
"What!" cried Sherwood, astonished, "that little innocent baby!"
"That 'little innocent baby' is seeing altogether too much of Ben Sansome."
Sherwood uttered a snort of masculine scorn.
"Ho! Ben Sansome?"
"Yes, Ben Sansome."
"Why, he's a notorious butterfly."
"Well, it looks now as though he intended to alight."
"Seriously?"
She nodded. Sherwood slowly went on with his dressing.
"I like that little creature," he said at last. "She's the sort that strikes me as born to be treated well and to be happy. Some people are that way, you know; just as others are born painters or plumbers35." She nodded in appreciation36. "And if you give the word, Patsy, I'll go around and have a word with Keith--or spoil Sansome--whichever you say----"
She laughed.
"You're a dear, Jack37, but if you love me, keep your hands off here."
"Are you bossing this job?" he asked gravely.
"I'm bossing this job," she repeated, with equal gravity.
He said nothing more for a time, but his eyes twinkled.
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seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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laterally
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| ad.横向地；侧面地；旁边地 | |
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inhibited
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| a.拘谨的，拘束的 | |
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aloof
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| adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的 | |
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fresco
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| n.壁画；vt.作壁画于 | |
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monologue
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| n.长篇大论，（戏剧等中的）独白 | |
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obtrusive
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| adj.显眼的；冒失的 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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realization
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| n.实现；认识到，深刻了解 | |
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isolate
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| vt.使孤立，隔离 | |
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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circumscribed
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| adj.[医]局限的：受限制或限于有限空间的v.在…周围划线( circumscribe的过去式和过去分词 )；划定…范围；限制；限定 | |
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craved
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| 渴望，热望( crave的过去式 )； 恳求，请求 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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elevations
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| （水平或数量）提高( elevation的名词复数 )； 高地； 海拔； 提升 | |
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rime
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| n.白霜；v.使蒙霜 | |
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majestic
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| adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的 | |
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blotting
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| 吸墨水纸 | |
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soothed
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| v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦 | |
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scuttled
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| v.使船沉没( scuttle的过去式和过去分词 )；快跑，急走 | |
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lured
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| 吸引，引诱（lure的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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suffocating
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| a.使人窒息的 | |
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verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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soothingly
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| adv.抚慰地，安慰地；镇痛地 | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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withdrawal
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| n.取回，提款；撤退，撤军；收回，撤销 | |
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prudish
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| adj.装淑女样子的，装规矩的，过分规矩的；adv.过分拘谨地 | |
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briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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elicit
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| v.引出,抽出,引起 | |
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discreet
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| adj.(言行)谨慎的；慎重的；有判断力的 | |
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scrupulously
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| adv.一丝不苟地；小心翼翼地，多顾虑地 | |
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dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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cravat
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| n.领巾，领结；v.使穿有领结的服装，使结领结 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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plumbers
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| n.管子工，水暖工( plumber的名词复数 )；[美][口]（防止泄密的）堵漏人员 | |
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appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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