Madame de Chantelle and Anna had planned, for the afternoon,a visit to a remotely situated1 acquaintance whom theintroduction of the motor had transformed into a neighbour.
Effie was to pay for her morning's holiday by an hour or twoin the school-room, and Owen suggested that he and Darrowshould betake themselves to a distant covert2 in thedesultory quest for pheasants.
Darrow was not an ardent4 sportsman, but any pretext5 forphysical activity would have been acceptable at the moment;and he was glad both to get away from the house and not tobe left to himself.
When he came downstairs the motor was at the door, and Annastood before the hall mirror, swathing her hat in veils.
She turned at the sound of his step and smiled at him for along full moment.
"I'd no idea you knew Miss Viner," she said, as he helpedher into her long coat.
"It came back to me, luckily, that I'd seen her two or threetimes in London, several years ago. She was secretary, orsomething of the sort, in the background of a house where Iused to dine."He loathed6 the slighting indifference7 of the phrase, but hehad uttered it deliberately8, had been secretly practising itall through the interminable hour at the luncheon9-table.
Now that it was spoken, he shivered at its note ofcondescension. In such cases one was almost sure tooverdo...But Anna seemed to notice nothing unusual.
"Was she really? You must tell me all about it--tell meexactly how she struck you. I'm so glad it turns out thatyou know her.""'Know' is rather exaggerated: we used to pass each other onthe stairs."Madame de Chantelle and Owen appeared together as he spoke10,and Anna, gathering11 up her wraps, said: "You'll tell meabout that, then. Try and remember everything you can."As he tramped through the woods at his young host's side,Darrow felt the partial relief from thought produced byexercise and the obligation to talk. Little as he cared forshooting, he had the habit of concentration which makes itnatural for a man to throw himself wholly into whateverbusiness he has in hand, and there were moments of theafternoon when a sudden whirr in the undergrowth, a vividergleam against the hazy12 browns and greys of the woods, wasenough to fill the foreground of his attention. But all thewhile, behind these voluntarily emphasized sensations, hissecret consciousness continued to revolve13 on a loud wheel ofthought. For a time it seemed to be sweeping14 him throughdeep gulfs of darkness. His sensations were too swift andswarming to be disentangled. He had an almost physicalsense of struggling for air, of battling helplessly withmaterial obstructions15, as though the russet covert throughwhich he trudged16 were the heart of a maleficent jungle...
Snatches of his companion's talk drifted to himintermittently through the confusion of his thoughts. Hecaught eager self-revealing phrases, and understood thatOwen was saying things about himself, perhaps hintingindirectly at the hopes for which Darrow had been preparedby Anna's confidences. He had already become aware that thelad liked him, and had meant to take the first opportunityof showing that he reciprocated17 the feeling. But the effortof fixing his attention on Owen's words was so great that itleft no power for more than the briefest and mostinexpressive replies.
Young Leath, it appeared, felt that he had reached aturning-point in his career, a height from which he couldimpartially survey his past progress and projectedendeavour. At one time he had had musical and literaryyearnings, visions of desultory3 artistic18 indulgence; butthese had of late been superseded19 by the resolutedetermination to plunge20 into practical life.
"I don't want, you see," Darrow heard him explaining, "todrift into what my grandmother, poor dear, is trying to makeof me: an adjunct of Givre. I don't want--hang it all!--toslip into collecting sensations as my father collectedsnuff-boxes. I want Effie to have Givre--it's mygrandmother's, you know, to do as she likes with; and I'veunderstood lately that if it belonged to me it wouldgradually gobble me up. I want to get out of it, into alife that's big and ugly and struggling. If I can extractbeauty out of THAT, so much the better: that'll prove myvocation. But I want to MAKE beauty, not be drowned inthe ready-made, like a bee in a pot of honey."Darrow knew that he was being appealed to for corroborationof these views and for encouragement in the course to whichthey pointed21. To his own ears his answers sounded now curt,now irrelevant22: at one moment he seemed chillinglyindifferent, at another he heard himself launching out on aflood of hazy discursiveness23. He dared not look at Owen,for fear of detecting the lad's surprise at these senselesstransitions. And through the confusion of his inwardstruggles and outward loquacity24 he heard the ceaseless trip-hammer beat of the question: "What in God's name shall Ido?"...
To get back to the house before Anna's return seemed hismost pressing necessity. He did not clearly know why: hesimply felt that he ought to be there. At one moment itoccurred to him that Miss Viner might want to speak to himalone--and again, in the same flash, that it would probablybe the last thing she would want...At any rate, he felt heought to try to speak to HER; or at least be prepared todo so, if the chance should occur...
Finally, toward four, he told his companion that he had someletters on his mind and must get back to the house anddespatch them before the ladies returned. He left Owen withthe beater and walked on to the edge of the covert. At thepark gates he struck obliquely25 through the trees, followinga grass avenue at the end of which he had caught a glimpseof the roof of the chapel26. A grey haze27 had blotted28 out thesun and the still air clung about him tepidly29. At lengththe house-front raised before him its expanse of damp-silvered brick, and he was struck afresh by the high decorumof its calm lines and soberly massed surfaces. It made himfeel, in the turbid30 coil of his fears and passions, like amuddy tramp forcing his way into some pure sequesteredshrine...
By and bye, he knew, he should have to think the complexhorror out, slowly, systematically31, bit by bit; but for themoment it was whirling him about so fast that he could justclutch at its sharp spikes32 and be tossed off again. Onlyone definite immediate33 fact stuck in his quivering grasp.
He must give the girl every chance--must hold himselfpassive till she had taken them...
In the court Effie ran up to him with her leaping terrier.
"I was coming out to meet you--you and Owen. Miss Viner wascoming, too, and then she couldn't because she's got such aheadache. I'm afraid I gave it to her because I did mydivision so disgracefully. It's too bad, isn't it? Butwon't you walk back with me? Nurse won't mind the least bit;she'd so much rather go in to tea."Darrow excused himself laughingly, on the plea that he hadletters to write, which was much worse than having aheadache, and not infrequently resulted in one.
"Oh, then you can go and write them in Owen's study. That'swhere gentlemen always write their letters."She flew on with her dog and Darrow pursued his way to thehouse. Effie's suggestion struck him as useful. He hadpictured himself as vaguely34 drifting about the drawing-rooms, and had perceived the difficulty of Miss Viner'shaving to seek him there; but the study, a small room on theright of the hall, was in easy sight from the staircase, andso situated that there would be nothing marked in his beingfound there in talk with her.
He went in, leaving the door open, and sat down at thewriting-table. The room was a friendly heterogeneous35 place,the one repository, in the well-ordered and amply-servantedhouse, of all its unclassified odds36 and ends: Effie'scroquet-box and fishing rods, Owen's guns and golf-sticksand racquets, his step-mother's flower-baskets and gardeningimplements, even Madame de Chantelle's embroidery37 frame, andthe back numbers of the Catholic Weekly. The early twilighthad begun to fall, and presently a slanting38 ray across thedesk showed Darrow that a servant was coming across the hallwith a lamp. He pulled out a sheet of note-paper and beganto write at random39, while the man, entering, put the lamp athis elbow and vaguely "straightened" the heap of newspaperstossed on the divan40. Then his steps died away and Darrowsat leaning his head on his locked hands.
Presently another step sounded on the stairs, wavered amoment and then moved past the threshold of the study.
Darrow got up and walked into the hall, which was stillunlighted. In the dimness he saw Sophy Viner standing41 bythe hall door in her hat and jacket. She stopped at sightof him, her hand on the door-bolt, and they stood for asecond without speaking.
"Have you seen Effie?" she suddenly asked. "She went out tomeet you.""She DID meet me, just now, in the court. She's gone onto join her brother."Darrow spoke as naturally as he could, but his voice soundedto his own ears like an amateur actor's in a "light" part.
Miss Viner, without answering, drew back the bolt. Hewatched her in silence as the door swung open; then he said:
"She has hernurse with her. She won't be long."She stood irresolute42, and he added: "I was writing in there--won't you come and have a little talk? Every one's out."The last words struck him as not well-chosen, but there wasno time to choose. She paused a second longer and thencrossed the threshold of the study. At luncheon she had satwith her back to the window, and beyond noting that she hadgrown a little thinner, and had less colour and vivacity43, hehad seen no change in her; but now, as the lamplight fell onher face, its whiteness startled him.
"Poor thing...poor thing...what in heaven's name can shesuppose?" he wondered.
"Do sit down--I want to talk to you," he said and pushed achair toward her.
She did not seem to see it, or, if she did, she deliberatelychose another seat. He came back to his own chair andleaned his elbows on the blotter. She faced him from thefarther side of the table.
"You promised to let me hear from you now and then," hebegan awkwardly, and with a sharp sense of his awkwardness.
A faint smile made her face more tragic44. "Did I? There wasnothing to tell. I've had no history--like the happycountries..."He waited a moment before asking: "You ARE happy here?""I WAS," she said with a faint emphasis.
"Why do you say 'was'? You're surely not thinking of going?
There can't be kinder people anywhere." Darrow hardly knewwhat he was saying; but her answer came to him with deadlydefiniteness.
"I suppose it depends on you whether I go or stay.""On me?" He stared at her across Owen's scattered45 papers.
"Good God! What can you think of me, to say that?"The mockery of the question flashed back at him from herwretched face. She stood up, wandered away, and leaned aninstant in the darkening window-frame. From there sheturned to fling back at him: "Don't imagine I'm the leastbit sorry for anything!"He steadied his elbows on the table and hid his face in hishands. It was harder, oh, damnably harder, than he hadexpected! Arguments, expedients46, palliations, evasions47, allseemed to be slipping away from him: he was left face toface with the mere48 graceless fact of his inferiority. Helifted his head to ask at random: "You've been here, then,ever since?""Since June; yes. It turned out that the Farlows werehunting for me--all the while--for this."She stood facing him, her back to the window, evidentlyimpatient to be gone, yet with something still to say, orthat she expected to hear him say. The sense of herexpectancy benumbed him. What in heaven's name could he sayto her that was not an offense49 or a mockery?
"Your idea of the theatre--you gave that up at once, then?""Oh, the theatre!" She gave a little laugh. "I couldn'twait for the theatre. I had to take the first thing thatoffered; I took this."He pushed on haltingly: "I'm glad--extremely glad--you'rehappy here...I'd counted on your letting me know if therewas anything I could do...The theatre, now--if you stillregret it--if you're not contented50 here...I know people inthat line in London--I'm certain I can manage it for youwhen I get back----"She moved up to the table and leaned over it to ask, in avoice that was hardly above a whisper: "Then you DO wantme to leave? Is that it?"He dropped his arms with a groan51. "Good heavens! How canyou think such things? At the time, you know, I begged youto let me do what I could, but you wouldn't hear of it...andever since I've been wanting to be of use--to do something,anything, to help you..."She heard him through, motionless, without a quiver of theclasped hands she rested on the edge of the table.
"If you want to help me, then--you can help me to stayhere," she brought out with low-toned intensity52.
Through the stillness of the pause which followed, the brayof a motor-horn sounded far down the drive. Instantly sheturned, with a last white look at him, and fled from theroom and up the stairs. He stood motionless, benumbed bythe shock of her last words. She was afraid, then--afraidof him--sick with fear of him! The discovery beat him downto a lower depth...
The motor-horn sounded again, close at hand, and he turnedand went up to his room. His letter-writing was asufficient pretext for not immediately joining the partyabout the tea-table, and he wanted to be alone and try toput a little order into his tumultuous thinking.
Upstairs, the room held out the intimate welcome of its lampand fire. Everything in it exhaled53 the same sense of peaceand stability which, two evenings before, had lulled54 him tocomplacent meditation55. His armchair again invited him fromthe hearth56, but he was too agitated57 to sit still, and withsunk head and hands clasped behind his back he began towander up and down the room.
His five minutes with Sophy Viner had flashed strange lightsinto the shadowy corners of his consciousness. The girl'sabsolute candour, her hard ardent honesty, was for themoment the vividest point in his thoughts. He wondered anew,as he had wondered before, at the way in which the harshdiscipline of life had stripped her of false sentimentwithout laying the least touch on her pride. When they hadparted, five months before, she had quietly but decidedlyrejected all his offers of help, even to the suggestion ofhis trying to further her theatrical58 aims: she had made itclear that she wished their brief alliance to leave no traceon their lives save that of its own smiling memory. But nowthat they were unexpectedly confronted in a situation whichseemed, to her terrified fancy, to put her at his mercy, herfirst impulse was to defend her right to the place she hadwon, and to learn as quickly as possible if he meant todispute it. While he had pictured her as shrinking awayfrom him in a tremor59 of self-effacement she had watched hismovements, made sure of her opportunity, and come straightdown to "have it out" with him. He was so struck by thefrankness and energy of the proceeding60 that for a moment helost sight of the view of his own character implied in it.
"Poor thing...poor thing!" he could only go on saying; andwith the repetition of the words the picture of himself asshe must see him pitiably took shape again.
He understood then, for the first time, how vague, incomparison with hers, had been his own vision of the part hehad played in the brief episode of their relation. Theincident had left in him a sense of exasperation61 and self-contempt, but that, as he now perceived, was chiefly, if notaltogether, as it bore on his preconceived ideal of hisattitude toward another woman. He had fallen below his ownstandard of sentimental62 loyalty63, and if he thought of SophyViner it was mainly as the chance instrument of his lapse64.
These considerations were not agreeable to his pride, butthey were forced on him by the example of her valiantcommon-sense. If he had cut a sorry figure in the business,he owed it to her not to close his eyes to the fact anylonger...
But when he opened them, what did he see? The situation,detestable at best, would yet have been relatively65 simple ifprotecting Sophy Viner had been the only duty involved init. The fact that that duty was paramount66 did not do awaywith the contingent67 obligations. It was Darrow's instinct,in difficult moments, to go straight to the bottom of thedifficulty; but he had never before had to take so dark adive as this, and for the minute he shivered on thebrink...Well, his first duty, at any rate, was to the girl:
he must let her see that he meant to fulfill68 it to the lastjot, and then try to find out how to square the fulfillmentwith the other problems already in his path...
收听单词发音 |
1
situated
|
|
| adj.坐落在...的，处于某种境地的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
covert
|
|
| adj.隐藏的；暗地里的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
desultory
|
|
| adj.散漫的，无方法的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
ardent
|
|
| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
pretext
|
|
| n.借口，托词 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
loathed
|
|
| v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
indifference
|
|
| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
deliberately
|
|
| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
luncheon
|
|
| n.午宴，午餐，便宴 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
gathering
|
|
| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
hazy
|
|
| adj.有薄雾的，朦胧的；不肯定的，模糊的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
revolve
|
|
| vi.(使)旋转；循环出现 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
sweeping
|
|
| adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
obstructions
|
|
| n.障碍物( obstruction的名词复数 )；阻碍物；阻碍；阻挠 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
trudged
|
|
| vt.& vi.跋涉，吃力地走（trudge的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
reciprocated
|
|
| v.报答，酬答( reciprocate的过去式和过去分词 )；（机器的部件）直线往复运动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
artistic
|
|
| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
superseded
|
|
| [医]被代替的，废弃的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
plunge
|
|
| v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
pointed
|
|
| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
irrelevant
|
|
| adj.不恰当的，无关系的，不相干的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
discursiveness
|
|
| n.漫谈离题，推论 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
|
24
loquacity
|
|
| n.多话，饶舌 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
obliquely
|
|
| adv.斜； 倾斜； 间接； 不光明正大 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
chapel
|
|
| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
haze
|
|
| n.霾，烟雾；懵懂，迷糊；vi.(over)变模糊 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
blotted
|
|
| 涂污( blot的过去式和过去分词 )； （用吸墨纸）吸干 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
tepidly
|
|
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
|
30
turbid
|
|
| adj.混浊的，泥水的，浓的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
systematically
|
|
| adv.有系统地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
spikes
|
|
| n.穗( spike的名词复数 )；跑鞋；（防滑）鞋钉；尖状物v.加烈酒于( spike的第三人称单数 )；偷偷地给某人的饮料加入（更多）酒精（ 或药物）；把尖状物钉入；打乱某人的计划 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
immediate
|
|
| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
vaguely
|
|
| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
heterogeneous
|
|
| adj.庞杂的；异类的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
odds
|
|
| n.让步，机率，可能性，比率；胜败优劣之别 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
embroidery
|
|
| n.绣花，刺绣；绣制品 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
slanting
|
|
| 倾斜的，歪斜的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
random
|
|
| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
divan
|
|
| n.长沙发；（波斯或其他东方诗人的）诗集 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
standing
|
|
| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
irresolute
|
|
| adj.无决断的，优柔寡断的，踌躇不定的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
vivacity
|
|
| n.快活，活泼，精神充沛 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
tragic
|
|
| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
scattered
|
|
| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
expedients
|
|
| n.应急有效的，权宜之计的( expedient的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
evasions
|
|
| 逃避( evasion的名词复数 )； 回避； 遁辞； 借口 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
mere
|
|
| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
offense
|
|
| n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
contented
|
|
| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
groan
|
|
| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
intensity
|
|
| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
exhaled
|
|
| v.呼出，发散出( exhale的过去式和过去分词 )；吐出（肺中的空气、烟等），呼气 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
lulled
|
|
| vt.使镇静，使安静（lull的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
55
meditation
|
|
| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
hearth
|
|
| n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
57
agitated
|
|
| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
58
theatrical
|
|
| adj.剧场的，演戏的；做戏似的，做作的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
59
tremor
|
|
| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
60
proceeding
|
|
| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
61
exasperation
|
|
| n.愤慨 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
62
sentimental
|
|
| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
63
loyalty
|
|
| n.忠诚，忠心 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
64
lapse
|
|
| n.过失，流逝，失效，抛弃信仰，间隔；vi.堕落，停止，失效，流逝；vt.使失效 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
65
relatively
|
|
| adv.比较...地，相对地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
66
paramount
|
|
| a.最重要的，最高权力的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
67
contingent
|
|
| adj.视条件而定的；n.一组，代表团，分遣队 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
68
fulfill
|
|
| vt.履行，实现，完成；满足，使满意 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |