The first plan that had suggested itself to me was, to go to the nearest public road, and take the earliest stage for London. There I believed I should be most safe from discovery, if the vengeance1 of Mr. Falkland should prompt him to pursue me; and I did not doubt, among the multiplied resources of the metropolis2, to find something which should suggest to me an eligible3 mode of disposing of my person and industry. I reserved Mr. Forester in my arrangement, as a last resource, not to be called forth4 unless for immediate5 protection from the hand of persecution6 and power. I was destitute7 of that experience of the world, which can alone render us fertile in resources, or enable us to institute a just comparison between the resources that offer themselves. I was like the fascinated animal, that is seized with the most terrible apprehensions9, at the same time that he is incapable10 of adequately considering for his own safety.
The mode of my proceeding11 being digested, I traced, with a cheerful heart, the unfrequented path it was now necessary for me to pursue. The night was gloomy, and it drizzled12 with rain. But these were circumstances I had scarcely the power to perceive; all was sunshine and joy within me. I hardly felt the ground; I repeated to myself a thousand times, “I am free. What concern have I with danger and alarm? I feel that I am free; I feel that I will continue so. What power is able to hold in chains a mind ardent13 and determined14? What power can cause that man to die, whose whole soul commands him to continue to live?” I looked back with abhorrence15 to the subjection in which I had been held. I did not hate the author of my misfortunes — truth and justice acquit16 me of that; I rather pitied the hard destiny to which he seemed condemned17. But I thought with unspeakable loathing18 of those errors, in consequence of which every man is fated to be, more or less, the tyrant19 or the slave. I was astonished at the folly20 of my species, that they did not rise up as one man, and shake off chains so ignominious21, and misery22 so insupportable. So far as related to myself, I resolved — and this resolution has never been entirety forgotten by me — to hold myself disengaged from this odious23 scene, and never fill the part either of the oppressor or the sufferer. My mind continued in this enthusiastical state, full of confidence, and accessible only to such a portion of fear as served rather to keep up a state of pleasurable emotion than to generate anguish24 and distress25, during the whole of this nocturnal expedition. After a walk of three hours, I arrived, without accident, at the village from which I hoped to have taken my passage for the metropolis. At this early hour every thing was quiet; no sound of any thing human saluted26 my ear. It was with difficulty that I gained admittance into the yard of the inn, where I found a single ostler taking care of some horses. From him I received the unwelcome tidings, that the coach was not expected till six o’clock in the morning of the day after tomorrow, its route through that town recurring27 only three times a week.
This intelligence gave the first check to the rapturous inebriation28 by which my mind had been possessed29 from the moment I quitted the habitation of Mr. Falkland. The whole of my fortune in ready cash consisted of about eleven guineas. I had about fifty more, that had fallen to me from the disposal of my property at the death of my father; but that was so vested as to preclude30 it from immediate use, and I even doubted whether it would not be found better ultimately to resign it, than, by claiming it, to risk the furnishing a clew to what I most of all dreaded31, the persecution of Mr. Falkland. There was nothing I so ardently32 desired as the annihilation of all future intercourse33 between us, that he should not know there was such a person on the earth as myself, and that I should never more hear the repetition of a name which had been so fatal to my peace.
Thus circumstanced, I conceived frugality34 to be an object by no means unworthy of my attention, unable as I was to prognosticate what discouragements and delays might present themselves to the accomplishment35 of my wishes, after my arrival in London. For this and other reasons, I determined to adhere to my design of travelling by the stage; it only remaining for me to consider in what manner I should prevent the eventful delay of twenty-four hours from becoming, by any untoward36 event, a source of new calamity37. It was by no means advisable to remain in the village where I now was during this interval38; nor did I even think proper to employ it, in proceeding on foot along the great road. I therefore decided39 upon making a circuit, the direction of which should seem at first extremely wide of my intended route, and then, suddenly taking a different inclination40, should enable me to arrive by the close of day at a market-town twelve miles nearer to the metropolis.
Having fixed41 the economy of the day, and persuaded myself that it was the best which, under the circumstances, could be adopted, I dismissed, for the most part, all further anxieties from my mind, and eagerly yielded myself up to the different amusements that arose. I rested and went forward at the impulse of the moment. At one time I reclined upon a bank immersed in contemplation, and at another exerted myself to analyse the prospects42 which succeeded each other. The haziness43 of the morning was followed by a spirit-stirring and beautiful day. With the ductility44 so characteristic of a youthful mind, I forgot the anguish which had lately been my continual guest, and occupied myself entirely45 in dreams of future novelty and felicity. I scarcely ever, in the whole course of my existence, spent a day of more various or exquisite46 gratification. It furnished a strong, and perhaps not an unsalutary contrast, to the terrors which had preceded, and the dreadful scenes that awaited me.
In the evening I arrived at the place of my destination, and enquired47 for the inn at which the coach was accustomed to call. A circumstance however had previously48 excited my attention, and reproduced in me a state of alarm.
Though it was already dark before I reached the town, my observation had been attracted by a man, who passed me on horseback in the opposite direction, about half a mile on the other side of the town. There was an inquisitiveness49 in his gesture that I did not like; and, as far as I could discern his figure, I pronounced him an ill-looking man. He had not passed me more than two minutes before I heard the sound of a horse advancing slowly behind me. These circumstances impressed some degree of uneasy sensation upon my mind. I first mended my pace; and, this not appearing to answer the purpose, I afterwards loitered, that the horseman might pass me. He did so; and, as I glanced at him, I thought I saw that it was the same man. He now put his horse into a trot50, and entered the town. I followed; and it was not long before I perceived him at the door of an alehouse, drinking a mug of beer. This however the darkness prevented me from discovering, till I was in a manner upon him. I pushed forward, and saw him no more, till, as I entered the yard of the inn where I intended to sleep, the same man suddenly rode up to me, and asked if my name were Williams.
This adventure, while it had been passing, expelled the gaiety of my mind, and filled me with anxiety. The apprehension8 however that I felt, appeared to me groundless: if I were pursued, I took it for granted it would be by some of Mr. Falkland’s people, and not by a stranger. The darkness took from me some of the simplest expedients51 of precaution. I determined at least to proceed to the inn, and make the necessary enquiries.
I no sooner heard the sound of the horse as I entered the yard, and the question proposed to me by the rider, than the dreadful certainty of what I feared instantly took possession of my mind. Every incident connected with my late abhorred52 situation was calculated to impress me with the deepest alarm. My first thought was, to betake myself to the fields, and trust to the swiftness of my flight for safety. But this was scarcely practicable: I remarked that my enemy was alone; and I believed that, man to man, I might reasonably hope to get the better of him, either by the firmness of my determination, or the subtlety53 of my invention.
Thus resolved, I replied in an impetuous and peremptory54 tone, that I was the man he took me for; adding, “I guess your errand; but it is to no purpose. You come to conduct me back to Falkland House; but no force shall ever drag me to that place alive. I have not taken my resolution without strong reasons; and all the world shall not persuade me to alter it. I am an Englishman, and it is the privilege of an Englishman to be sole judge and master of his own actions.”
“You are in the devil of a hurry,” replied the man, “to guess my intentions, and tell your own. But your guess is right; and mayhap you may have reason to be thankful that my errand is not something worse. Sure enough the squire55 expects you;— but I have a letter, and when you have read that, I suppose you will come off a little of your stoutness56. If that does not answer, it will then be time to think what is to be done next.”
Thus saying, he gave me his letter, which was from Mr. Forester, whom, as he told me, he had left at Mr. Falkland’s house. I went into a room of the inn for the purpose of reading it, and was followed by the bearer. The letter was as follows:—
WILLIAMS,
“My brother Falkland has sent the bearer in pursuit of you. He expects that, if found, you will return with him: I expect it too. It is of the utmost consequence to your future honour and character. After reading these lines, if you are a villain57 and a rascal58, you will perhaps endeavour to fly; if your conscience tells you, you are innocent, you will, out of all doubt, come back. Show me then whether I have been your dupe: and, while I was won over by your seeming ingenuousness59, have suffered myself to be made the tool of a designing knave60. If you come, I pledge myself that, if you clear your reputation, you shall not only be free to go wherever you please, but shall receive every assistance in my power to give. Remember, I engage for nothing further than that.
“VALENTINE FORESTER.”
What a letter was this! To a mind like mine, glowing with the love of virtue61, such an address was strong enough to draw the person to whom it was addressed from one end of the earth to the other. My mind was full of confidence and energy. I felt my own innocence62, and was determined to assert it. I was willing to be driven out a fugitive63; I even rejoiced in my escape, and cheerfully went out into the world destitute of every provision, and depending for my future prospects upon my own ingenuity64.
Thus much, said I, Falkland! you may do. Dispose of me as you please with respect to the goods of fortune; but you shall neither make prize of my liberty, nor sully the whiteness of my name. I repassed in my thoughts every memorable65 incident that had happened to me under his roof. I could recollect66 nothing, except the affair of the mysterious trunk, out of which the shadow of a criminal accusation67 could be extorted68. In that instance my conduct had been highly reprehensible69, and I had never looked back upon it without remorse70 and self-condemnation. But I did not believe that it was of the nature of those actions which can be brought under legal censure71. I could still less persuade myself that Mr. Falkland, who shuddered72 at the very possibility of detection, and who considered himself as completely in my power, would dare to bring forward a subject so closely connected with the internal agony of his soul. In a word, the more I reflected on the phrases of Mr. Forester’s billet, the less could I imagine the nature of those scenes to which they were to serve as a prelude73.
The inscrutableness however of the mystery they contained, did not suffice to overwhelm my courage. My mind seemed to undergo an entire revolution. Timid and embarrassed as I had felt myself, when I regarded Mr. Falkland as my clandestine74 and domestic foe75, I now conceived that the case was entirely altered. “Meet me,” said I, “as an open accuser: if we must contend, let us contend in the face of day; and then, unparalleled as your resources may be, I will not fear you.” Innocence and guilt76 were, in my apprehension, the things in the whole world the most opposite to each other. I would not suffer myself to believe, that the former could be confounded with the latter, unless the innocent man first allowed himself to be subdued77 in mind, before he was defrauded78 of the good opinion of mankind. Virtue rising superior to every calamity, defeating by a plain unvarnished tale all the stratagems79 of Vice80, and throwing back upon her adversary81 the confusion with which he had hoped to overwhelm her, was one of the favourite subjects of my youthful reveries. I determined never to prove an instrument of destruction to Mr. Falkland; but I was not less resolute82 to obtain justice to myself.
The issue of all these confident hopes I shall immediately have occasion to relate. It was thus, with the most generous and undoubting spirit, that I rushed upon irretrievable ruin.
“Friend,” said I to the bearer, after a considerable interval of silence, “you are right. This is, indeed, an extraordinary letter you have brought me; but it answers its purpose. I will certainly go with you now, whatever be the consequence. No person shall ever impute83 blame to me, so long as I have it in my power to clear myself.”
I felt, in the circumstances in which I was placed by Mr. Forester’s letter, not merely a willingness, but an alacrity84 and impatience85, to return. We procured86 a second horse. We proceeded on our journey in silence. My mind was occupied again in endeavouring to account for Mr. Forester’s letter. I knew the inflexibility87 and sternness of Mr. Falkland’s mind in accomplishing the purposes he had at heart; but I also knew that every virtuous88 and magnanimous principle was congenial to his character.
When we arrived, midnight was already past, and we were obliged to waken one of the servants to give us admittance. I found that Mr. Forester had left a message for me, in consideration of the possibility of my arrival during the night, directing me immediately to go to bed, and to take care that I did not come weary and exhausted89 to the business of the following day. I endeavoured to take his advice; but my slumbers90 were unrefreshing and disturbed. I suffered however no reduction of courage: the singularity of my situation, my conjectures91 with respect to the present, my eagerness for the future, did not allow me to sink into a languid and inactive state.
Next morning the first person I saw was Mr. Forester. He told me that he did not yet know what Mr. Falkland had to allege92 against me, for that he had refused to know. He had arrived at the house of his brother by appointment on the preceding day to settle some indispensable business, his intention having been to depart the moment the business was finished, as he knew that conduct on his part would be most agreeable to Mr. Falkland. But he was no sooner come, than he found the whole house in confusion, the alarm of my elopement having been given a few hours before. Mr. Falkland had despatched servants in all directions in pursuit of me; and the servant from the market-town arrived at the same moment with Mr. Forester, with intelligence that a person answering the description he gave, had been there very early in the morning enquiring93 respecting the stage to London.
Mr. Falkland seemed extremely disturbed at this information, and exclaimed on me with acrimony, as an unthankful and unnatural94 villain.
Mr. Forester replied, “Have more command of yourself, sir! Villain is a serious appellation95, and must not be trifled with. Englishmen are free; and no man is to be charged with villainy, because he changes one source of subsistence for another.”
Mr. Falkland shook his head, and with a smile, expressive96 of acute sensibility, said, “Brother, brother, you are the dupe of his art. I always considered him with an eye of suspicion, and was aware of his depravity. But I have just discovered —”
“Stop, sir!” interrupted Mr. Forester. “I own I thought that, in a moment of acrimony, you might be employing harsh epithets97 in a sort of random98 style. But if you have a serious accusation to state, we must not be told of that, till it is known whether the lad is within reach of a hearing. I am indifferent myself about the good opinion of others. It is what the world bestows99 and retracts100 with so little thought, that I can make no account of its decision. But that does not authorise me lightly to entertain an ill opinion of another. The slenderest allowance I think I can make to such as I consign101 to be the example and terror of their species, is that of being heard in their own defence. It is a wise principle that requires the judge to come into court uninformed of the merits of the cause he is to try; and to that principle I am determined to conform as an individual. I shall always think it right to be severe and inflexible102 in my treatment of offenders103; but the severity I exercise in the sequel, must be accompanied with impartiality104 and caution in what is preliminary.”
While Mr. Forester related to me these particulars, he observed me ready to break out into some of the expressions which the narrative105 suggested; but he would not suffer me to speak. “No,” said he; “I would not hear Mr. Falkland against you; and I cannot hear you in your defence. I come to you at present to speak, and not to hear. I thought it right to warn you of your danger, but I have nothing more to do now. Reserve what you have to say to the proper time. Make the best story you can for yourself — true, if truth, as I hope, will serve your purpose; but, if not, the most plausible106 and ingenious you can invent. That is what self-defence requires from every man, where, as it always happens to a man upon his trial, he has the whole world against him, and has his own battle to fight against the world. Farewell; and God send you a good deliverance! If Mr. Falkland’s accusation, whatever it be, shall appear premature107, depend upon having me more zealously108 your friend than ever. If not, this is the last act of friendship you will ever receive from me!”
It may be believed that this address, so singular, so solemn, so big with conditional109 menace, did not greatly tend to encourage me. I was totally ignorant of the charge to be advanced against me; and not a little astonished, when it was in my power to be in the most formidable degree the accuser of Mr. Falkland, to find the principles of equity110 so completely reversed, as for the innocent but instructed individual to be the party accused and suffering, instead of having, as was natural, the real criminal at his mercy. I was still more astonished at the superhuman power Mr. Falkland seemed to possess, of bringing the object of his persecution within the sphere of his authority; a reflection attended with some check to that eagerness and boldness of spirit, which now constituted the ruling passion of my mind.
But this was no time for meditation111. To the sufferer the course of events is taken out of his direction, and he is hurried along with an irresistible112 force, without finding it within the compass of his efforts to check their rapidity. I was allowed only a short time to recollect myself, when my trial commenced. I was conducted to the library, where I had passed so many happy and so many contemplative hours, and found there Mr. Forester and three or four of the servants already assembled, in expectation of me and my accuser. Every thing was calculated to suggest to me that I must trust only in the justice of the parties concerned, and had nothing to hope from their indulgence. Mr. Falkland entered at one door, almost as soon as I entered at the other.
1 vengeance | |
n.报复,报仇,复仇 | |
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2 metropolis | |
n.首府;大城市 | |
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3 eligible | |
adj.有条件被选中的;(尤指婚姻等)合适(意)的 | |
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4 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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5 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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6 persecution | |
n. 迫害,烦扰 | |
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7 destitute | |
adj.缺乏的;穷困的 | |
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8 apprehension | |
n.理解,领悟;逮捕,拘捕;忧虑 | |
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9 apprehensions | |
疑惧 | |
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10 incapable | |
adj.无能力的,不能做某事的 | |
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11 proceeding | |
n.行动,进行,(pl.)会议录,学报 | |
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12 drizzled | |
下蒙蒙细雨,下毛毛雨( drizzle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13 ardent | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,强烈的,烈性的 | |
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14 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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15 abhorrence | |
n.憎恶;可憎恶的事 | |
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16 acquit | |
vt.宣判无罪;(oneself)使(自己)表现出 | |
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17 condemned | |
adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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18 loathing | |
n.厌恶,憎恨v.憎恨,厌恶( loathe的现在分词);极不喜欢 | |
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19 tyrant | |
n.暴君,专制的君主,残暴的人 | |
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20 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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21 ignominious | |
adj.可鄙的,不光彩的,耻辱的 | |
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22 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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23 odious | |
adj.可憎的,讨厌的 | |
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24 anguish | |
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼 | |
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25 distress | |
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
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26 saluted | |
v.欢迎,致敬( salute的过去式和过去分词 );赞扬,赞颂 | |
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27 recurring | |
adj.往复的,再次发生的 | |
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28 inebriation | |
n.醉,陶醉 | |
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29 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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30 preclude | |
vt.阻止,排除,防止;妨碍 | |
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31 dreaded | |
adj.令人畏惧的;害怕的v.害怕,恐惧,担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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32 ardently | |
adv.热心地,热烈地 | |
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33 intercourse | |
n.性交;交流,交往,交际 | |
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34 frugality | |
n.节约,节俭 | |
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35 accomplishment | |
n.完成,成就,(pl.)造诣,技能 | |
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36 untoward | |
adj.不利的,不幸的,困难重重的 | |
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37 calamity | |
n.灾害,祸患,不幸事件 | |
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38 interval | |
n.间隔,间距;幕间休息,中场休息 | |
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39 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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40 inclination | |
n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好 | |
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41 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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42 prospects | |
n.希望,前途(恒为复数) | |
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43 haziness | |
有薄雾,模糊; 朦胧之性质或状态; 零能见度 | |
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44 ductility | |
n.展延性,柔软性,顺从;韧性;塑性;展性 | |
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45 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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46 exquisite | |
adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的 | |
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47 enquired | |
打听( enquire的过去式和过去分词 ); 询问; 问问题; 查问 | |
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48 previously | |
adv.以前,先前(地) | |
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49 inquisitiveness | |
好奇,求知欲 | |
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50 trot | |
n.疾走,慢跑;n.老太婆;现成译本;(复数)trots:腹泻(与the 连用);v.小跑,快步走,赶紧 | |
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51 expedients | |
n.应急有效的,权宜之计的( expedient的名词复数 ) | |
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52 abhorred | |
v.憎恶( abhor的过去式和过去分词 );(厌恶地)回避;拒绝;淘汰 | |
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53 subtlety | |
n.微妙,敏锐,精巧;微妙之处,细微的区别 | |
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54 peremptory | |
adj.紧急的,专横的,断然的 | |
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55 squire | |
n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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56 stoutness | |
坚固,刚毅 | |
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57 villain | |
n.反派演员,反面人物;恶棍;问题的起因 | |
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58 rascal | |
n.流氓;不诚实的人 | |
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59 ingenuousness | |
n.率直;正直;老实 | |
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60 knave | |
n.流氓;(纸牌中的)杰克 | |
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61 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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62 innocence | |
n.无罪;天真;无害 | |
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63 fugitive | |
adj.逃亡的,易逝的;n.逃犯,逃亡者 | |
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64 ingenuity | |
n.别出心裁;善于发明创造 | |
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65 memorable | |
adj.值得回忆的,难忘的,特别的,显著的 | |
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66 recollect | |
v.回忆,想起,记起,忆起,记得 | |
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67 accusation | |
n.控告,指责,谴责 | |
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68 extorted | |
v.敲诈( extort的过去式和过去分词 );曲解 | |
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69 reprehensible | |
adj.该受责备的 | |
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70 remorse | |
n.痛恨,悔恨,自责 | |
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71 censure | |
v./n.责备;非难;责难 | |
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72 shuddered | |
v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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73 prelude | |
n.序言,前兆,序曲 | |
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74 clandestine | |
adj.秘密的,暗中从事的 | |
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75 foe | |
n.敌人,仇敌 | |
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76 guilt | |
n.犯罪;内疚;过失,罪责 | |
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77 subdued | |
adj. 屈服的,柔和的,减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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78 defrauded | |
v.诈取,骗取( defraud的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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79 stratagems | |
n.诡计,计谋( stratagem的名词复数 );花招 | |
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80 vice | |
n.坏事;恶习;[pl.]台钳,老虎钳;adj.副的 | |
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81 adversary | |
adj.敌手,对手 | |
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82 resolute | |
adj.坚决的,果敢的 | |
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83 impute | |
v.归咎于 | |
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84 alacrity | |
n.敏捷,轻快,乐意 | |
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85 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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86 procured | |
v.(努力)取得, (设法)获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 );拉皮条 | |
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87 inflexibility | |
n.不屈性,顽固,不变性;不可弯曲;非挠性;刚性 | |
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88 virtuous | |
adj.有品德的,善良的,贞洁的,有效力的 | |
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89 exhausted | |
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
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90 slumbers | |
睡眠,安眠( slumber的名词复数 ) | |
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91 conjectures | |
推测,猜想( conjecture的名词复数 ) | |
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92 allege | |
vt.宣称,申述,主张,断言 | |
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93 enquiring | |
a.爱打听的,显得好奇的 | |
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94 unnatural | |
adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
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95 appellation | |
n.名称,称呼 | |
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96 expressive | |
adj.表现的,表达…的,富于表情的 | |
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97 epithets | |
n.(表示性质、特征等的)词语( epithet的名词复数 ) | |
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98 random | |
adj.随机的;任意的;n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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99 bestows | |
赠给,授予( bestow的第三人称单数 ) | |
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100 retracts | |
v.撤回或撤消( retract的第三人称单数 );拒绝执行或遵守;缩回;拉回 | |
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101 consign | |
vt.寄售(货品),托运,交托,委托 | |
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102 inflexible | |
adj.不可改变的,不受影响的,不屈服的 | |
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103 offenders | |
n.冒犯者( offender的名词复数 );犯规者;罪犯;妨害…的人(或事物) | |
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104 impartiality | |
n. 公平, 无私, 不偏 | |
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105 narrative | |
n.叙述,故事;adj.叙事的,故事体的 | |
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106 plausible | |
adj.似真实的,似乎有理的,似乎可信的 | |
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107 premature | |
adj.比预期时间早的;不成熟的,仓促的 | |
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108 zealously | |
adv.热心地;热情地;积极地;狂热地 | |
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109 conditional | |
adj.条件的,带有条件的 | |
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110 equity | |
n.公正,公平,(无固定利息的)股票 | |
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111 meditation | |
n.熟虑,(尤指宗教的)默想,沉思,(pl.)冥想录 | |
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112 irresistible | |
adj.非常诱人的,无法拒绝的,无法抗拒的 | |
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