Kneel with me — swear it —’tis not in words I trust,
Save when they’re fenced with an appeal to Heaven.
Old play
After passing the night in that sound sleep for which agitation1 and fatigue2 had prepared him, Roland was awakened3 by the fresh morning air, and by the beams of the rising sun. His first feeling was that of surprise; for, instead of looking forth4 from a turret5 window on the Lake of Avenel, which was the prospect6 his former apartment afforded, an unlatticed aperture7 gave him the view of the demolished8 garden of the banished9 anchorite. He sat up on his couch of leaves, and arranged in his memory, not without wonder, the singular events of the preceding day, which appeared the more surprising the more he considered them. He had lost the protectress of his youth, and, in the same day, he had recovered the guide and guardian10 of his childhood. The former deprivation11 he felt ought to be matter of unceasing regret, and it seemed as if the latter could hardly be the subject of unmixed self-congratulation. He remembered this person, who had stood to him in the relation of a mother, as equally affectionate in her attention, and absolute in her authority. A singular mixture of love and fear attended upon his early remembrances as they were connected with her; and the fear that she might desire to resume the same absolute control over his motions — a fear which her conduct of yesterday did not tend much to dissipate — weighed heavily against the joy of this second meeting.
“She cannot mean,” said his rising pride, “to lead and direct me as a pupil, when I am at the age of judging of my own actions?— this she cannot mean, or meaning it, will feel herself strangely deceived.”
A sense of gratitude12 towards the person against whom his heart thus rebelled, checked his course of feeling. He resisted the thoughts which involuntarily arose in his mind, as he would have resisted an actual instigation of the foul13 fiend; and, to aid him in his struggle, he felt for his beads14. But, in his hasty departure from the Castle of Avenel, he had forgotten and left them behind him.
“This is yet worse,” he said; “but two things I learned of her under the most deadly charge of secrecy16 — to tell my beads, and to conceal17 that I did so; and I have kept my word till now; and when she shall ask me for the rosary, I must say I have forgotten it! Do I deserve she should believe me when. I say I have kept the secret of my faith, when I set so light by its symbol?”
He paced the floor in anxious agitation. In fact, his attachment18 to his faith was of a nature very different from that which animated19 the enthusiastic matron, but which, notwithstanding, it would have been his last thought to relinquish20.
The early charges impressed on him by his grandmother, had been instilled21 into a mind and memory of a character peculiarly tenacious22. Child as he was, he was proud of the confidence reposed23 in his discretion24, and resolved to show that it had not been rashly intrusted to him. At the same time, his resolution was no more than that of a child, and must, necessarily, have gradually faded away under the operation both of precept25 and example, during his residence at the Castle of Avenel, but for the exhortations27 of Father Ambrose, who, in his lay estate, had been called Edward Glendinning. This zealous29 monk30 had been apprized, by an unsigned letter placed in his hand by a pilgrim, that a child educated in the Catholic faith was now in the Castle of Avenel, perilously31 situated32, (so was the scroll33 expressed,) as ever the three children who were cast into the fiery34 furnace of persecution35. The letter threw upon Father Ambrose the fault, should this solitary36 lamb, unwillingly37 left within the demesnes of the prowling wolf, become his final prey38. There needed no farther exhortation26 to the monk than the idea that a soul might be endangered, and that a Catholic might become an apostate39; and he made his visits more frequent than usual to the castle of Avenel, lest, through want of the private encouragement and instruction which he always found some opportunity of dispensing40, the church should lose a proselyte, and, according to the Romish creed41, the devil acquire a soul.
Still these interviews were rare; and though they encouraged the solitary boy to keep his secret and hold fast his religion, they were neither frequent nor long enough to inspire him with any thing beyond a blind attachment to the observances which the priest recommended. He adhered to the forms of his religion rather because he felt it would be dishonourable to change that of his fathers, than from any rational conviction or sincere belief of its mysterious doctrines44. It was a principal part of the distinction which, in his own opinion, singled him out from those with whom he lived, and gave him an additional, though an internal and concealed45 reason, for contemning46 those of the household who showed an undisguised dislike of him, and for hardening himself against the instructions of the chaplain, Henry Warden47.
“The fanatic48 preacher,” he thought within himself, during some one of the chaplain’s frequent discourses49 against the Church of Rome, “he little knows whose ears are receiving his profane50 doctrine43, and with what contempt and abhorrence51 they hear his blasphemies52 against the holy religion by which kings have been crowned, and for which martyrs54 have died!”
But in such proud feelings of defiance55 of heresy56, as it was termed, and of its professors, which associated the Catholic religion with a sense of generous independence, and that of the Protestants with the subjugation58 of his mind and temper to the direction of Mr. Warden, began and ended the faith of Roland Graeme, who, independently of the pride of singularity, sought not to understand, and had no one to expound59 to him, the peculiarities60 of the tenets which he professed61. His regret, therefore, at missing the rosary which had been conveyed to him through the hands of Father Ambrose, was rather the shame of a soldier who has dropped his cockade, or badge of service, than that of a zealous votary62 who had forgotten a visible symbol of his religion.
His thoughts on the subject, however, were mortifying63, and the more so from apprehension64 that his negligence65 must reach the ears of his relative. He felt it could be no one but her who had secretly transmitted these beads to Father Ambrose for his use, and that his carelessness was but an indifferent requital66 of her kindness.
“Nor will she omit to ask me about them,” said he to himself; “for hers is a zeal28 which age cannot quell67; and if she has not quitted her wont68, my answer will not fail to incense69 her.”
While he thus communed with himself, Magdalen Graeme entered the apartment. “The blessing70 of the morning on your youthful head, my son,” she said, with a solemnity of expression which thrilled the youth to the heart, so sad and earnest did the benediction71 flow from her lips, in a tone where devotion was blended with affection. “And thou hast started thus early from thy couch to catch the first breath of the dawn? But it is not well, my Roland. Enjoy slumber72 while thou canst; the time is not far behind when the waking eye must be thy portion, as well as mine.”
She uttered these words with an affectionate and anxious tone, which showed, that devotional as were the habitual73 exercises of her mind, the thoughts of her nursling yet bound her to earth with the cords of human affection and passion.
But she abode74 not long in a mood which she probably regarded as a momentary75 dereliction of her imaginary high calling —“Come,” she said, “youth, up and be doing — It is time that we leave this place.”
“And whither do we go?” said the young man; “or what is the object of our journey?”
The matron stepped back, and gazed on him with surprise, not unmingled with displeasure.
“To what purpose such a question?” she said; “is it not enough that I lead the way? Hast thou lived with heretics till thou hast learned to instal the vanity of thine own private judgment76 in place of due honour and obedience77?”
“The time,” thought Roland Graeme within himself, “is already come, when I must establish my freedom, or be a willing thrall78 for ever — I feel that I must speedily look to it.”
She instantly fulfilled his foreboding, by recurring79 to the theme by which her thoughts seemed most constantly engrossed80, although, when she pleased, no one could so perfectly81 disguise her religion.
“Thy beads, my son — hast thou told thy beads?”
Roland Graeme coloured high; he felt the storm was approaching, but scorned to avert82 it by a falsehood.
“I have forgotten my rosary,” he said, “at the Castle of Avenel.”
“Forgotten thy rosary!” she exclaimed; “false both to religion and to natural duty, hast thou lost what was sent so far, and at such risk, a token of the truest affection, that should have been, every bead15 of it, as dear to thee as thine eyeballs?”
“I am grieved it should have so chanced, mother,” replied the youth, “and much did I value the token, as coming from you. For what remains83, I trust to win gold enough, when I push my way in the world; and till then, beads of black oak, or a rosary of nuts, must serve the turn.”
“Hear him!” said his grandmother; “young as he is, he hath learned already the lessons of the devil’s school! The rosary, consecrated84 by the Holy Father himself, and sanctified by his blessing, is but a few knobs of gold, whose value may be replaced by the wages of his profane labour, and whose virtue85 may be supplied by a string of hazel-nuts!— This is heresy — So Henry Warden, the wolf who ravages86 the flock of the Shepherd, hath taught thee to speak and to think.”
“Mother,” said Roland Graeme, “I am no heretic; I believe and I pray according to the rules of our church — This misfortune I regret, but I cannot amend87 it.”
“Thou canst repent88 it, though,” replied his spiritual directress, “repent it in dust and ashes, atone89 for it by fasting, prayer, and penance90, instead of looking on me with a countenance91 as light as if thou hadst lost but a button from thy cap.”
“Mother,” said Roland, “be appeased92; I will remember my fault in the next confession93 which I have space and opportunity to make, and will do whatever the priest may require of me in atonement. For the heaviest fault I can do no more.— But, mother,” he added, after a moment’s pause, “let me not incur94 your farther displeasure, if I ask whither our journey is bound, and what is its object. I am no longer a child, but a man, and at my own disposal, with down upon my chin, and a sword by my side — I will go to the end of the world with you to do your pleasure; but I owe it to myself to inquire the purpose and direction of our travels.”
“You owe it to yourself, ungrateful boy?” replied his relative, passion rapidly supplying the colour which age had long chased from her features,—“to yourself you owe nothing — you can owe nothing — to me you owe every thing — your life when an infant — your support while a child — the means of instruction, and the hopes of honour — and, sooner than thou shouldst abandon the noble cause to which I have devoted95 thee, would I see thee lie a corpse96 at my feet!”
Roland was alarmed at the vehement97 agitation with which she spoke98, and which threatened to overpower her aged42 frame; and he hastened to reply,—“I forget nothing of what I owe to you, my dearest mother — show me how my blood can testify my gratitude, and you shall judge if I spare it. But blindfold99 obedience has in it as little merit as reason.”
“Saints and angels!” replied Magdalen, “and do I hear these words from the child of my hopes, the nursling by whose bed I have kneeled, and for whose weal I have wearied every saint in heaven with prayers? Roland, by obedience only canst thou show thy affection and thy gratitude. What avails it that you might perchance adopt the course I propose to thee, were it to be fully100 explained? Thou wouldst not then follow my command, but thine own judgment; thou wouldst not do the will of Heaven, communicated through thy best friend, to whom thou owest thine all; but thou wouldst observe the blinded dictates101 of thine own imperfect reason. Hear me, Roland! a lot calls thee — solicits102 thee — demands thee — the proudest to which man can be destined103, and it uses the voice of thine earliest, thy best, thine only friend — Wilt104 thou resist it? Then go thy way — leave me here — my hopes on earth are gone and withered105 — I will kneel me down before yonder profaned106 altar, and when the raging heretics return, they shall dye it with the blood of a martyr53.”
“But, my dearest mother,” said Roland Graeme, whose early recollections of her violence were formidably renewed by these wild expressions of reckless passion, “I will not forsake107 you — I will abide108 with you — worlds shall not force me from your side — I will protect — I will defend you — I will live with you, and die for you!”
“One word, my son, were worth all these — say only, ‘I will obey you.’”
“Doubt it not, mother,” replied the youth, “I will, and that with all my heart; only ——”
“Nay, I receive no qualifications of thy promise,” said Magdalen Graeme, catching109 at the word, “the obedience which I require is absolute; and a blessing on thee, thou darling memory of my beloved child, that thou hast power to make a promise so hard to human pride! Trust me well, that in the design in which thou dost embark110, thou hast for thy partners the mighty111 and the valiant112, the power of the church, and the pride of the noble. Succeed or fail, live or die, thy name shall be among those with whom success or failure is alike glorious, death or life alike desirable. Forward, then, forward! life is short, and our plan is laborious113 — Angels, saints, and the whole blessed host of heaven, have their eyes even now on this barren and blighted114 land of Scotland — What say I? on Scotland? their eye is on us , Roland — on the frail115 woman, on the inexperienced youth, who, amidst the ruins which sacrilege hath made in the holy place, devote themselves to God’s cause, and that of their lawful116 Sovereign. Amen, so be it! The blessed eyes of saints and martyrs, which see our resolve, shall witness the execution; or their ears, which hear our vow117, shall hear our death-groan, drawn118 in the sacred cause!”
While thus speaking, she held Roland Graeme firmly with one hand, while she pointed119 upward with the other, to leave him, as it were, no means of protest against the obtestation to which he was thus made a party. When she had finished her appeal to Heaven, she left him no leisure for farther hesitation120, or for asking any explanation of her purpose; but passing with the same ready transition as formerly121, to the solicitous122 attentions of an anxious parent, overwhelmed him with questions concerning his residence in the Castle of Avenel, and the qualities and accomplishments123 he had acquired.
“It is well,” she said, when she had exhausted124 her inquiries125, “my gay goss-hawk10 hath been well trained, and will soar high; but those who bred him will have cause to fear as well as to wonder at his flight.— Let us now,” she said, “to our morning meal, and care not though it be a scanty126 one. A few hours’ walk will bring us to more friendly quarters.”
They broke their fast accordingly, on such fragments as remained of their yesterday’s provision, and immediately set out on their farther journey. Magdalen Graeme led the way, with a firm and active step much beyond her years, and Roland Graeme followed, pensive127 and anxious, and far from satisfied with the state of dependence57 to which he seemed again to be reduced.
“Am I for ever,” he said to himself, “to be devoured128 with the desire of independence and free agency, and yet to be for ever led on, by circumstances, to follow the will of others?”
1 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
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2 fatigue | |
n.疲劳,劳累 | |
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3 awakened | |
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到 | |
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4 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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5 turret | |
n.塔楼,角塔 | |
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6 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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7 aperture | |
n.孔,隙,窄的缺口 | |
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8 demolished | |
v.摧毁( demolish的过去式和过去分词 );推翻;拆毁(尤指大建筑物);吃光 | |
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9 banished | |
v.放逐,驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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10 guardian | |
n.监护人;守卫者,保护者 | |
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11 deprivation | |
n.匮乏;丧失;夺去,贫困 | |
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12 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
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13 foul | |
adj.污秽的;邪恶的;v.弄脏;妨害;犯规;n.犯规 | |
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14 beads | |
n.(空心)小珠子( bead的名词复数 );水珠;珠子项链 | |
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15 bead | |
n.念珠;(pl.)珠子项链;水珠 | |
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16 secrecy | |
n.秘密,保密,隐蔽 | |
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17 conceal | |
v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽 | |
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18 attachment | |
n.附属物,附件;依恋;依附 | |
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19 animated | |
adj.生气勃勃的,活跃的,愉快的 | |
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20 relinquish | |
v.放弃,撤回,让与,放手 | |
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21 instilled | |
v.逐渐使某人获得(某种可取的品质),逐步灌输( instill的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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22 tenacious | |
adj.顽强的,固执的,记忆力强的,粘的 | |
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23 reposed | |
v.将(手臂等)靠在某人(某物)上( repose的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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24 discretion | |
n.谨慎;随意处理 | |
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25 precept | |
n.戒律;格言 | |
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26 exhortation | |
n.劝告,规劝 | |
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27 exhortations | |
n.敦促( exhortation的名词复数 );极力推荐;(正式的)演讲;(宗教仪式中的)劝诫 | |
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28 zeal | |
n.热心,热情,热忱 | |
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29 zealous | |
adj.狂热的,热心的 | |
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30 monk | |
n.和尚,僧侣,修道士 | |
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31 perilously | |
adv.充满危险地,危机四伏地 | |
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32 situated | |
adj.坐落在...的,处于某种境地的 | |
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33 scroll | |
n.卷轴,纸卷;(石刻上的)漩涡 | |
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34 fiery | |
adj.燃烧着的,火红的;暴躁的;激烈的 | |
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35 persecution | |
n. 迫害,烦扰 | |
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36 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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37 unwillingly | |
adv.不情愿地 | |
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38 prey | |
n.被掠食者,牺牲者,掠食;v.捕食,掠夺,折磨 | |
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39 apostate | |
n.背叛者,变节者 | |
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40 dispensing | |
v.分配( dispense的现在分词 );施与;配(药) | |
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41 creed | |
n.信条;信念,纲领 | |
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42 aged | |
adj.年老的,陈年的 | |
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43 doctrine | |
n.教义;主义;学说 | |
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44 doctrines | |
n.教条( doctrine的名词复数 );教义;学说;(政府政策的)正式声明 | |
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45 concealed | |
a.隐藏的,隐蔽的 | |
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46 contemning | |
v.侮辱,蔑视( contemn的现在分词 ) | |
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47 warden | |
n.监察员,监狱长,看守人,监护人 | |
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48 fanatic | |
n.狂热者,入迷者;adj.狂热入迷的 | |
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49 discourses | |
论文( discourse的名词复数 ); 演说; 讲道; 话语 | |
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50 profane | |
adj.亵神的,亵渎的;vt.亵渎,玷污 | |
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51 abhorrence | |
n.憎恶;可憎恶的事 | |
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52 blasphemies | |
n.对上帝的亵渎,亵渎的言词[行为]( blasphemy的名词复数 );侮慢的言词(或行为) | |
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53 martyr | |
n.烈士,殉难者;vt.杀害,折磨,牺牲 | |
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54 martyrs | |
n.martyr的复数形式;烈士( martyr的名词复数 );殉道者;殉教者;乞怜者(向人诉苦以博取同情) | |
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55 defiance | |
n.挑战,挑衅,蔑视,违抗 | |
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56 heresy | |
n.异端邪说;异教 | |
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57 dependence | |
n.依靠,依赖;信任,信赖;隶属 | |
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58 subjugation | |
n.镇压,平息,征服 | |
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59 expound | |
v.详述;解释;阐述 | |
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60 peculiarities | |
n. 特质, 特性, 怪癖, 古怪 | |
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61 professed | |
公开声称的,伪称的,已立誓信教的 | |
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62 votary | |
n.崇拜者;爱好者;adj.誓约的,立誓任圣职的 | |
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63 mortifying | |
adj.抑制的,苦修的v.使受辱( mortify的现在分词 );伤害(人的感情);克制;抑制(肉体、情感等) | |
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64 apprehension | |
n.理解,领悟;逮捕,拘捕;忧虑 | |
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65 negligence | |
n.疏忽,玩忽,粗心大意 | |
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66 requital | |
n.酬劳;报复 | |
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67 quell | |
v.压制,平息,减轻 | |
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68 wont | |
adj.习惯于;v.习惯;n.习惯 | |
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69 incense | |
v.激怒;n.香,焚香时的烟,香气 | |
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70 blessing | |
n.祈神赐福;祷告;祝福,祝愿 | |
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71 benediction | |
n.祝福;恩赐 | |
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72 slumber | |
n.睡眠,沉睡状态 | |
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73 habitual | |
adj.习惯性的;通常的,惯常的 | |
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74 abode | |
n.住处,住所 | |
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75 momentary | |
adj.片刻的,瞬息的;短暂的 | |
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76 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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77 obedience | |
n.服从,顺从 | |
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78 thrall | |
n.奴隶;奴隶制 | |
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79 recurring | |
adj.往复的,再次发生的 | |
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80 engrossed | |
adj.全神贯注的 | |
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81 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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82 avert | |
v.防止,避免;转移(目光、注意力等) | |
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83 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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84 consecrated | |
adj.神圣的,被视为神圣的v.把…奉为神圣,给…祝圣( consecrate的过去式和过去分词 );奉献 | |
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85 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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86 ravages | |
劫掠后的残迹,破坏的结果,毁坏后的残迹 | |
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87 amend | |
vt.修改,修订,改进;n.[pl.]赔罪,赔偿 | |
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88 repent | |
v.悔悟,悔改,忏悔,后悔 | |
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89 atone | |
v.赎罪,补偿 | |
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90 penance | |
n.(赎罪的)惩罪 | |
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91 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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92 appeased | |
安抚,抚慰( appease的过去式和过去分词 ); 绥靖(满足另一国的要求以避免战争) | |
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93 confession | |
n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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94 incur | |
vt.招致,蒙受,遭遇 | |
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95 devoted | |
adj.忠诚的,忠实的,热心的,献身于...的 | |
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96 corpse | |
n.尸体,死尸 | |
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97 vehement | |
adj.感情强烈的;热烈的;(人)有强烈感情的 | |
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98 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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99 blindfold | |
vt.蒙住…的眼睛;adj.盲目的;adv.盲目地;n.蒙眼的绷带[布等]; 障眼物,蒙蔽人的事物 | |
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100 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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101 dictates | |
n.命令,规定,要求( dictate的名词复数 )v.大声讲或读( dictate的第三人称单数 );口授;支配;摆布 | |
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102 solicits | |
恳请 | |
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103 destined | |
adj.命中注定的;(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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104 wilt | |
v.(使)植物凋谢或枯萎;(指人)疲倦,衰弱 | |
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105 withered | |
adj. 枯萎的,干瘪的,(人身体的部分器官)因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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106 profaned | |
v.不敬( profane的过去式和过去分词 );亵渎,玷污 | |
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107 forsake | |
vt.遗弃,抛弃;舍弃,放弃 | |
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108 abide | |
vi.遵守;坚持;vt.忍受 | |
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109 catching | |
adj.易传染的,有魅力的,迷人的,接住 | |
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110 embark | |
vi.乘船,着手,从事,上飞机 | |
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111 mighty | |
adj.强有力的;巨大的 | |
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112 valiant | |
adj.勇敢的,英勇的;n.勇士,勇敢的人 | |
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113 laborious | |
adj.吃力的,努力的,不流畅 | |
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114 blighted | |
adj.枯萎的,摧毁的 | |
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115 frail | |
adj.身体虚弱的;易损坏的 | |
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116 lawful | |
adj.法律许可的,守法的,合法的 | |
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117 vow | |
n.誓(言),誓约;v.起誓,立誓 | |
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118 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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119 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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120 hesitation | |
n.犹豫,踌躇 | |
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121 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
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122 solicitous | |
adj.热切的,挂念的 | |
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123 accomplishments | |
n.造诣;完成( accomplishment的名词复数 );技能;成绩;成就 | |
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124 exhausted | |
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
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125 inquiries | |
n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 );疑问;探究;打听 | |
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126 scanty | |
adj.缺乏的,仅有的,节省的,狭小的,不够的 | |
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127 pensive | |
a.沉思的,哀思的,忧沉的 | |
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128 devoured | |
吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 ); 耗尽; 津津有味地看; 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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