Some Account of His Fellow-Travellers.
Those who had taken places for the coach, understanding the sixth seat was engaged by a foreigner, determined1 to profit by his ignorance; and, with that politeness which is peculiar2 to this happy island, fixed3 themselves in the vehicle, in such a manner, before he had the least intimation of their design, that he found it barely practicable to insinuate4 himself sidelong between a corpulent quaker and a fat Wapping landlady5, in which attitude he stuck fast, like a thin quarto between two voluminous dictionaries on a bookseller’s shelf. And, as if the pain and inconvenience of such compression was not sufficient matter of chagrin6, the greatest part of the company entertained themselves with laughing at his ludicrous station.
The jolly dame7 at his left hand observed, with a loud exclamation8 of mirth, that monsieur would be soon better acquainted with a buttock of English beef; and said, by that time they should arrive at their dining-place, he might be spitted without larding. “Yes, verily,” replied Obadiah, who was a wag in his way, “but the swine’s fat will be all on one side.”—“So much the better for you,” cried mine hostess, “for that side is all your own.” The quaker was not so much disconcerted by the quickness of this repartee9, but that he answered with great deliberation, “I thank thee for thy love, but will not profit by thy loss, especially as I like not the savour of these outlandish fowls10; they are profane11 birds of passage, relished12 only by the children of vanity, like thee.”
The plump gentlewoman took umbrage13 at this last expression, which she considered as a double reproach, and repeated the words, “Children of vanity!” with an emphasis of resentment14. “I believe, if the truth were known,” said she, “there’s more vanity than midriff in that great belly15 of yours, for all your pretending to humility16 and religion. Sirrah! my corporation is made up of good, wholesome17, English fat; but you are puffed18 up with the wind of vanity and delusion19; and when it begins to gripe your entrails, you pretend to have a motion, and then get up and preach nonsense. Yet you’ll take it upon you to call your betters children. Marry come up, Mr. Goosecap, I have got children that are as good men as you, or any hypocritical trembler in England.”
A person who sat opposite to the quaker, hearing this remonstrance20, which seemed pregnant with contention21, interposed in the conversation with a conscious leer, and begged there might be no rupture22 between the spirit and the flesh. By this remonstrance he relieved Obadiah from the satire23 of this female orator24, and brought the whole vengeance25 of her elocution upon his own head. “Flesh!” cried she, with all the ferocity of an enraged26 Thalestris; “none of your names, Mr. Yellowchaps. What! I warrant you have an antipathy27 to flesh, because you yourself are nothing but skin and bone. I suppose you are some poor starved journeyman tailor come from France, where you have been learning to cabbage, and have not seen a good meal of victuals28 these seven years. You have been living upon rye-bread and soup-maigre, and now you come over like a walking atomy with a rat’s tail at your wig29, and a tinsey jacket. And so, forsooth, you set up for a gentleman, and pretend to find fault with a sirloin of roast beef.”
The gentleman heard this address with admirable patience, and when she had rung out her alarm, very coolly replied, “Anything but your stinking30 fish madam. Since when, I pray, have you travelled in stage-coaches, and left off your old profession of crying oysters31 in winter, and rotten mackerel in June? You was then known by the name of Kate Brawn32, and in good repute among the ale-houses in Thames Street, till that unlucky amour with the master of a corn-vessel, in which he was unfortunately detected by his own spouse33; but you seem to have risen by that fall; and I wish you joy of your present plight34. Though, considering your education on Bear Quay35, you can give but a sorry account of yourself.”
The Amazon, though neither exhausted36 nor dismayed, was really confounded at the temper and assurance of this antagonist37, who had gathered all these anecdotes38 from the fertility of his own invention; after a short pause, however, she poured forth39 a torrent40 of obloquy41 sufficient to overwhelm any person who had not been used to take up arms against such seas of trouble; and a dispute ensued, which would have not only disgraced the best orators42 on the Thames, but even have made a figure in the celebration of the Eleusinian mysteries, during which the Athenian matrons rallied one another from different waggons43, with that freedom of altercation44 so happily preserved in this our age and country.
Such a redundancy of epithets45, and variety of metaphors46, tropes, and figures were uttered between these well-matched opponents, that an epic47 bard48 would have found his account in listening to the contest; which, in all probability, would not have been confined to words, had it not been interrupted for the sake of a young woman of an agreeable countenance49 and modest carriage; who, being shocked at some of their flowers of speech, and terrified by the menacing looks and gestures of the fiery-featured dame, began to scream aloud, and beg leave to quit the coach. Her perturbation put an end to the high debate. The sixth passenger, who had not opened his mouth, endeavoured to comfort her with assurances of protection; the quaker proposed a cessation of arms; the male disputant acquiesced50 in the proposal, assuring the company he had entered the lists for their entertainment only, without acquiring the least grudge51 or ill-will to the fat gentlewoman, whom he protested he had never seen before that day, and who, for aught he knew, was a person of credit and reputation. He then held forth his hand in token of amity52, and asked pardon of the offended party, who was appeased53 by his submission54; and, in testimony55 of her benevolence56, presented to the other female, whom she had discomposed, an Hungary-water bottle filled with cherry-brandy, recommending it as a much more powerful remedy than the sal-volatile which the other held to her nose.
Peace being thus re-established, in a treaty comprehending Obadiah and all present, it will not be improper57 to give the reader some further information, touching58 the several characters assembled in this vehicle. The quaker was a London merchant, who had been at Deal superintending the repairs of a ship which had suffered by a storm in the Downs. The Wapping landlady was on her return from the same place, where she had attended the payment of a man-of-war, with sundry59 powers of attorney, granted by the sailors, who had lived upon credit at her house. Her competitor in fame was a dealer60 in wine, a smuggler61 of French lace, and a petty gamester just arrived from Paris, in the company of an English barber, who sat on his right hand, and the young woman was daughter of a country curate, in her way to London, where she was bound apprentice62 to a milliner.
Hitherto Fathom63 had sat in silent astonishment64 at the manners of his fellow-travellers, which far exceeded the notions he had preconceived of English plainness and rusticity65. He found himself a monument of that disregard and contempt which a stranger never fails to meet with from the inhabitants of this island; and saw, with surprise, an agreeable young creature sit as solitary66 and unheeded as himself.
He was, indeed, allured67 by the roses of her complexion68, and the innocence69 of her aspect, and began to repent70 of having pretended ignorance of the language, by which he was restrained from exercising his eloquence71 upon her heart; he resolved, however, to ingratiate himself, if possible, by the courtesy and politeness of dumb show, and for that purpose put his eyes in motion without farther delay.
1 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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2 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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3 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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4 insinuate | |
vt.含沙射影地说,暗示 | |
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5 landlady | |
n.女房东,女地主 | |
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6 chagrin | |
n.懊恼;气愤;委屈 | |
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7 dame | |
n.女士 | |
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8 exclamation | |
n.感叹号,惊呼,惊叹词 | |
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9 repartee | |
n.机敏的应答 | |
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10 fowls | |
鸟( fowl的名词复数 ); 禽肉; 既不是这; 非驴非马 | |
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11 profane | |
adj.亵神的,亵渎的;vt.亵渎,玷污 | |
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12 relished | |
v.欣赏( relish的过去式和过去分词 );从…获得乐趣;渴望 | |
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13 umbrage | |
n.不快;树荫 | |
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14 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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15 belly | |
n.肚子,腹部;(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分,膛 | |
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16 humility | |
n.谦逊,谦恭 | |
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17 wholesome | |
adj.适合;卫生的;有益健康的;显示身心健康的 | |
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18 puffed | |
adj.疏松的v.使喷出( puff的过去式和过去分词 );喷着汽(或烟)移动;吹嘘;吹捧 | |
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19 delusion | |
n.谬见,欺骗,幻觉,迷惑 | |
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20 remonstrance | |
n抗议,抱怨 | |
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21 contention | |
n.争论,争辩,论战;论点,主张 | |
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22 rupture | |
n.破裂;(关系的)决裂;v.(使)破裂 | |
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23 satire | |
n.讽刺,讽刺文学,讽刺作品 | |
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24 orator | |
n.演说者,演讲者,雄辩家 | |
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25 vengeance | |
n.报复,报仇,复仇 | |
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26 enraged | |
使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 ); 歜; 激愤 | |
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27 antipathy | |
n.憎恶;反感,引起反感的人或事物 | |
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28 victuals | |
n.食物;食品 | |
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29 wig | |
n.假发 | |
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30 stinking | |
adj.臭的,烂醉的,讨厌的v.散发出恶臭( stink的现在分词 );发臭味;名声臭;糟透 | |
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31 oysters | |
牡蛎( oyster的名词复数 ) | |
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32 brawn | |
n.体力 | |
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33 spouse | |
n.配偶(指夫或妻) | |
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34 plight | |
n.困境,境况,誓约,艰难;vt.宣誓,保证,约定 | |
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35 quay | |
n.码头,靠岸处 | |
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36 exhausted | |
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
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37 antagonist | |
n.敌人,对抗者,对手 | |
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38 anecdotes | |
n.掌故,趣闻,轶事( anecdote的名词复数 ) | |
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39 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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40 torrent | |
n.激流,洪流;爆发,(话语等的)连发 | |
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41 obloquy | |
n.斥责,大骂 | |
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42 orators | |
n.演说者,演讲家( orator的名词复数 ) | |
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43 waggons | |
四轮的运货马车( waggon的名词复数 ); 铁路货车; 小手推车 | |
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44 altercation | |
n.争吵,争论 | |
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45 epithets | |
n.(表示性质、特征等的)词语( epithet的名词复数 ) | |
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46 metaphors | |
隐喻( metaphor的名词复数 ) | |
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47 epic | |
n.史诗,叙事诗;adj.史诗般的,壮丽的 | |
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48 bard | |
n.吟游诗人 | |
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49 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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50 acquiesced | |
v.默认,默许( acquiesce的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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51 grudge | |
n.不满,怨恨,妒嫉;vt.勉强给,不情愿做 | |
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52 amity | |
n.友好关系 | |
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53 appeased | |
安抚,抚慰( appease的过去式和过去分词 ); 绥靖(满足另一国的要求以避免战争) | |
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54 submission | |
n.服从,投降;温顺,谦虚;提出 | |
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55 testimony | |
n.证词;见证,证明 | |
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56 benevolence | |
n.慈悲,捐助 | |
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57 improper | |
adj.不适当的,不合适的,不正确的,不合礼仪的 | |
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58 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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59 sundry | |
adj.各式各样的,种种的 | |
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60 dealer | |
n.商人,贩子 | |
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61 smuggler | |
n.走私者 | |
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62 apprentice | |
n.学徒,徒弟 | |
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63 fathom | |
v.领悟,彻底了解 | |
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64 astonishment | |
n.惊奇,惊异 | |
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65 rusticity | |
n.乡村的特点、风格或气息 | |
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66 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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67 allured | |
诱引,吸引( allure的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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68 complexion | |
n.肤色;情况,局面;气质,性格 | |
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69 innocence | |
n.无罪;天真;无害 | |
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70 repent | |
v.悔悟,悔改,忏悔,后悔 | |
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71 eloquence | |
n.雄辩;口才,修辞 | |
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