Our Adventurer is Made Acquainted with a New Scene of Life.
Just as he entered these mansions1 of misery2, his ears were invaded with a hoarse3 and dreadful voice, exclaiming, “You, Bess Beetle4, score a couple of fresh eggs, a pennyworth of butter, and half a pint5 of mountain to the king; and stop credit till the bill is paid:— He is now debtor6 for fifteen shillings and sixpence, and d — n me if I trust him one farthing more, if he was the best king in Christendom. And, d’ye hear, send Ragged-head with five pounds of potatoes for Major Macleaver’s supper, and let him have what drink he wants; the fat widow gentlewoman from Pimlico has promised to quit his score. Sir Mungo Barebones may have some hasty pudding and small beer, though I don’t expect to see his coin, no more than to receive the eighteen pence I laid out for a pair of breeches to his backside — what then? he’s a quiet sort of a body, and a great scholar, and it was a scandal to the place to see him going about in that naked condition. As for the mad Frenchman with the beard, if you give him so much as a cheese-paring, you b — ch, I’ll send you back to the hole, among your old companions; an impudent7 dog! I’ll teach him to draw his sword upon the governor of an English county jail. What! I suppose he thought he had to do with a French hang-tang-dang, rabbit him! he shall eat his white feather, before I give him credit for a morsel8 of bread.”
Although our adventurer was very little disposed, at this juncture9, to make observations foreign to his own affairs, he could not help taking notice of these extraordinary injunctions; especially those concerning the person who was entitled king, whom, however, he supposed to be some prisoner elected as the magistrate10 by the joint11 suffrage12 of his fellows. Having taken possession of his chamber13, which he rented at five shillings a week, and being ill at ease in his own thoughts, he forthwith secured his door, undressed, and went to bed, in which, though it was none of the most elegant or inviting14 couches, he enjoyed profound repose15 after the accumulated fatigues16 and mortifications of the day. Next morning, after breakfast, the keeper entered his apartment, and gave him to understand, that the gentlemen under his care, having heard of the Count’s arrival, had deputed one of their number to wait upon him with the compliments of condolence suitable to the occasion, and invite him to become a member of their society. Our hero could not politely dispense17 with this instance of civility, and their ambassador being instantly introduced by the name of Captain Minikin, saluted18 him with great solemnity.
This was a person equally remarkable19 for his extraordinary figure and address; his age seemed to border upon forty, his stature20 amounted to five feet, his visage was long, meagre, and weather-beaten, and his aspect, though not quite rueful, exhibited a certain formality, which was the result of care and conscious importance. He was very little encumbered21 with flesh and blood; yet what body he had was well proportioned, his limbs were elegantly turned, and by his carriage he was well entitled to that compliment which we pay to any person when we say he has very much the air of a gentleman. There was also an evident singularity in his dress, which, though intended as an improvement, appeared to be an extravagant22 exaggeration of the mode, and at once evinced him an original to the discerning eyes of our adventurer, who received him with his usual complaisance23, and made a very eloquent24 acknowledgment of the honour and satisfaction he received from the visit of the representative, and the hospitality of his constituents25. The captain’s peculiarities26 were not confined to his external appearance; for his voice resembled the sound of a bassoon, or the aggregate27 hum of a whole bee-hive, and his discourse28 was almost nothing else than a series of quotations29 from the English poets, interlarded with French phrases, which he retained for their significance, on the recommendation of his friends, being himself unacquainted with that or any other outlandish tongue.
Fathom30, finding this gentleman of a very communicative disposition31, thought he could not have a fairer opportunity of learning the history of his fellow-prisoners; and, turning the conversation on that subject, was not disappointed in his expectation. “I don’t doubt, sir,” said he, with the utmost solemnity of declamation33, “but you look with horror upon every object that surrounds you in this uncomfortable place; but, nevertheless, here are some, who, as my friend Shakespeare has it, have seen better days, and have with holy bell been knolled to church; and sat at good men’s feasts, and wiped their eyes of drops that sacred pity hath engendered34. You must know, sir, that, exclusive of the canaille, or the profanum vulgus, as they are styled by Horace, there are several small communities in the jail, consisting of people who are attracted by the manners and dispositions35 of each other; for this place, sir, is quite a microcosm, and as the great world, so is this, a stage, and all the men and women merely players. For my own part, sir, I have always made it a maxim36 to associate with the best of company I can find. Not that I pretend to boast of my family or extraction; because, you know, as the poet says, Vix ea nostra voco. My father, ’tis true, was a man that piqued37 himself upon his pedigree, as well as upon his politesse and personal merit; for he had been a very old officer in the army, and I myself may say I was born with a spontoon in my hand. Sir, I have had the honour to serve his Majesty38 these twenty years, and have been bandied about in the course of duty through all the British plantations39, and you see the recompense of all my service. But this is a disagreeable subject, and therefore I shall waive40 it; however, as Butler observes:
My only comfort is, that now
My dubbolt fortune is so low,
That either it must quickly end,
Or turn about again and mend.
“And now, to return from this digression, you will perhaps be surprised to hear that the head or chairman of our club is really a sovereign prince; no less, I’ll assure you, than the celebrated41 Theodore king of Corsica, who lies in prison for a debt of a few hundred pounds. Heu! quantum mutatus ab illo. It is not my business to censure42 the conduct of my superiors; but I always speak my mind in a cavalier manner, and as, according to the Spectator, talking to a friend is no more than thinking aloud, entre nous, his Corsican majesty has been scurvily43 treated by a certain administration. Be that as it will, he is a personage of a very portly appearance, and is quite master of the bienseance. Besides, they will find it their interest to have recourse again to his alliance; and in that case some of us may expect to profit by his restoration. But few words are best.
“He that maintains the second rank in our assembly is one Major Macleaver, an Irish gentleman, who has served abroad; a soldier of fortune, sir, a man of unquestionable honour and courage, but a little overbearing, in consequence of his knowledge and experience. He is a person of good address,— to be sure, and quite free of the mauvaise honte, and he may have seen a good deal of service. But what then? other people may be as good as he, though they have not had such opportunities; if he speaks five or six languages, he does not pretend to any taste in the liberal arts, which are the criterion of an accomplished44 gentleman.
“The next is Sir Mungo Barebones, the representative of a very ancient family in the north; his affairs are very much deranged45, but he is a gentleman of great probity46 and learning, and at present engaged in a very grand scheme, which, if he can bring it to bear, will render him famous to all posterity47; no less than the conversion48 of the Jews and the Gentiles. The project, I own, looks chimerical49 to one who has not conversed50 with the author; but, in my opinion, he has clearly demonstrated, from an anagrammatical analysis of a certain Hebrew word, that his present Majesty, whom God preserve, is the person pointed32 at in Scripture51 as the temporal Messiah of the Jews; and, if he could once raise by subscription52 such a trifling53 sum as twelve hundred thousand pounds, I make no doubt but he would accomplish his aim, vast and romantic as it seems to be.
“Besides these, we have another messmate, who is a French chevalier, an odd sort of a man, a kind of Lazarillo de Tormes, a caricatura; he wears a long beard, pretends to be a great poet, and makes a d —-ed fracas54 with his verses. The king has been obliged to exert his authority over him more than once, by ordering him into close confinement55, for which he was so rash as to send his majesty a challenge; but he afterwards made his submission56, and was again taken into favour. The truth is, I believe his brain is a little disordered, and, he being a stranger, we overlook his extravagancies.
“Sir, we shall think ourselves happy in your accession to our society. You will be under no sort of restraint; for, though we dine at one table, every individual calls and pays for his own mess. Our conversation, such as it is, will not, I hope, be disagreeable; and though we have not opportunities of breathing the pure Arcadian air, and cannot, ‘under the shade of melancholy57 boughs58, lose and neglect the creeping hours of time,’ we may enjoy ourselves over a glass of punch or a dish of tea. Nor are we destitute59 of friends, who visit us in these shades of distress60. The major has a numerous acquaintance of both sexes; among others, a first cousin of good fortune, who, with her daughters, often cheer our solitude61; she is a very sensible ladylike gentlewoman, and the young ladies have a certain degagee air, that plainly shows they have seen the best company. Besides, I will venture to recommend Mrs. Minikin as a woman of tolerable breeding and capacity, who, I hope, will not be found altogether deficient62 in the accomplishments63 of the sex. So that we find means to make little parties, in which the time glides64 away insensibly. Then I have a small collection of books which are at your service. You may amuse yourself with Shakespeare, or Milton, or Don Quixote, or any of our modern authors that are worth reading, such as the Adventures of Loveill, Lady Frail65, George Edwards, Joe Thompson, Bampfylde Moore Carew, Young Scarron, and Miss Betsy Thoughtless; and if you have a taste for drawing, I can entertain you with a parcel of prints by the best masters.”
A man of our hero’s politeness could not help expressing himself in the warmest terms of gratitude66 for this courteous67 declaration. He thanked the captain in particular for his obliging offers, and begged he would be so good as to present his respects to the society, of which he longed to be a member. It was determined68, therefore, that Minikin should return in an hour, when the Count would be dressed, in order to conduct him into the presence of his majesty; and he had already taken his leave for the present, when all of a sudden he came back, and taking hold of a waistcoat that lay upon a chair, “Sir,” said he, “give me leave to look at that fringe; I think it is the most elegant knitting I ever saw. But pray, sir, are not these quite out of fashion? I thought plain silk, such as this that I wear, had been the mode, with the pockets very low.” Before Fathom had time to make any sort of reply, he took notice of his hat and pumps; the first of which, he said, was too narrow in the brims, and the last an inch too low in the heels. Indeed, they formed a remarkable contrast with his own; for, exclusive of the fashion of the cock, which resembled the form of a Roman galley69, the brim of his hat, if properly spread, would have projected a shade sufficient to shelter a whole file of musketeers from the heat of a summer’s sun; and the heels of his shoes were so high as to raise his feet three inches at least from the surface of the earth.
Having made these observations, for the credit of his taste, he retired70, and returning at the time appointed, accompanied Ferdinand to the apartment of the king, at the doors of which their ears were invaded with a strange sound, being that of a human voice imitating the noise of a drum. The captain, hearing this alarm, made a full stop, and, giving the Count to understand that his majesty was busy, begged he would not take it amiss, if the introduction should be delayed for a few moments. Fathom, curious to know the meaning of what he had heard, applied71 to his guide for information, and learned that the king and the major, whom he had nominated to the post of his general-in-chief, were employed in landing troops upon the Genoese territory; that is, that they were settling beforehand the manner of their disembarkation.
He then, by the direction of his conductor, reconnoitred them through the keyhole, and perceived the sovereign and his minister sitting on opposite sides of a deal board table, covered with a large chart or map, upon which he saw a great number of mussel and oyster72 shells ranged in a certain order, and, at a little distance, several regular squares and columns made of cards cut in small pieces. The prince himself, whose eyes were reinforced by spectacles, surveyed this armament with great attention, while the general put the whole in action, and conducted their motions by beat of drum. The mussel-shells, according to Minikin’s explanation, represented the transports, the oyster-shells were considered as the men-of-war that covered the troops in landing, and the pieces of card exhibited the different bodies into which the army was formed upon its disembarkation.
As an affair of such consequence could not be transacted73 without opposition74, they had provided divers75 ambuscades, consisting of the enemy, whom they represented by grey peas; and accordingly General Macleaver, perceiving the said grey peas marching along shore to attack his forces before they could be drawn76 up in battalia, thus addressed himself to the oyster-shells, in an audible voice:—“You men-of-war, don’t you see the front of the enemy advancing, and the rest of the detachment following out of sight? Arrah! the devil burn you, why don’t you come ashore77 and open your batteries?” So saying, he pushed the shells towards the breach78, performed the cannonading with his voice, the grey peas were soon put in confusion, the general was beat, the cards marched forwards in order of battle, and the enemy having retreated with great precipitation, they took possession of their ground without farther difficulty.
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mansions
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| n.宅第，公馆，大厦( mansion的名词复数 ) | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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hoarse
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| adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的 | |
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beetle
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| n.甲虫，近视眼的人 | |
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pint
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| n.品脱 | |
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debtor
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| n.借方，债务人 | |
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impudent
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| adj.鲁莽的，卑鄙的，厚颜无耻的 | |
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morsel
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| n.一口，一点点 | |
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juncture
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| n.时刻，关键时刻，紧要关头 | |
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magistrate
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| n.地方行政官，地方法官，治安官 | |
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joint
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| adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合 | |
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suffrage
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| n.投票，选举权，参政权 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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fatigues
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| n.疲劳( fatigue的名词复数 )；杂役；厌倦；（士兵穿的）工作服 | |
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dispense
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| vt.分配，分发；配(药)，发(药)；实施 | |
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18
saluted
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| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的过去式和过去分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
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19
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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stature
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| n.（高度）水平，（高度）境界，身高，身材 | |
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encumbered
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| v.妨碍，阻碍，拖累( encumber的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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22
extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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complaisance
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| n.彬彬有礼，殷勤，柔顺 | |
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eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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constituents
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| n.选民( constituent的名词复数 )；成分；构成部分；要素 | |
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26
peculiarities
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| n. 特质, 特性, 怪癖, 古怪 | |
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aggregate
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| adj.总计的，集合的；n.总数；v.合计；集合 | |
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28
discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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29
quotations
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| n.引用( quotation的名词复数 )；[商业]行情（报告）；（货物或股票的）市价；时价 | |
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fathom
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| v.领悟，彻底了解 | |
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31
disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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declamation
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| n. 雄辩，高调 | |
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34
engendered
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| v.产生（某形势或状况），造成，引起( engender的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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35
dispositions
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| 安排( disposition的名词复数 )； 倾向； （财产、金钱的）处置； 气质 | |
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maxim
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| n.格言，箴言 | |
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piqued
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| v.伤害…的自尊心( pique的过去式和过去分词 )；激起（好奇心） | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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39
plantations
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| n.种植园，大农场( plantation的名词复数 ) | |
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waive
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| vt.放弃，不坚持(规定、要求、权力等) | |
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celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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42
censure
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| v./n.责备；非难；责难 | |
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43
scurvily
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| 下流地，粗鄙地，无礼地 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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deranged
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| adj.疯狂的 | |
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probity
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| n.刚直；廉洁，正直 | |
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posterity
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| n.后裔，子孙，后代 | |
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conversion
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| n.转化，转换，转变 | |
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chimerical
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| adj.荒诞不经的，梦幻的 | |
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conversed
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
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scripture
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| n.经文，圣书，手稿；Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》，《圣经》中的一段 | |
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subscription
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| n.预订，预订费，亲笔签名，调配法，下标（处方） | |
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trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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fracas
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| n.打架；吵闹 | |
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confinement
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| n.幽禁，拘留，监禁；分娩；限制，局限 | |
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submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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boughs
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| 大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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destitute
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| adj.缺乏的；穷困的 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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deficient
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| adj.不足的，不充份的，有缺陷的 | |
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accomplishments
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| n.造诣；完成( accomplishment的名词复数 )；技能；成绩；成就 | |
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glides
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| n.滑行( glide的名词复数 )；滑音；音渡；过渡音v.滑动( glide的第三人称单数 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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courteous
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| adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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galley
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| n.（飞机或船上的）厨房单层甲板大帆船；军舰舰长用的大划艇； | |
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70
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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oyster
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| n.牡蛎；沉默寡言的人 | |
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transacted
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| v.办理（业务等）( transact的过去式和过去分词 )；交易，谈判 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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divers
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| adj.不同的；种种的 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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ashore
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| adv.在(向)岸上，上岸 | |
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78
breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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