A homely1 proverb recognises the existence of a troublesome class of persons who, having an inch conceded them, will take an ell. Not to quote the illustrious examples of those heroic scourges2 of mankind, whose amiable3 path in life has been from birth to death through blood, and fire, and ruin, and who would seem to have existed for no better purpose than to teach mankind that as the absence of pain is pleasure, so the earth, purged4 of their presence, may be deemed a blessed place — not to quote such mighty5 instances, it will be sufficient to refer to old John Willet.
Old John having long encroached a good standard inch, full measure, on the liberty of Joe, and having snipped6 off a Flemish ell in the matter of the parole, grew so despotic and so great, that his thirst for conquest knew no bounds. The more young Joe submitted, the more absolute old John became. The ell soon faded into nothing. Yards, furlongs, miles arose; and on went old John in the pleasantest manner possible, trimming off an exuberance7 in this place, shearing8 away some liberty of speech or action in that, and conducting himself in his small way with as much high mightiness9 and majesty10, as the most glorious tyrant11 that ever had his statue reared in the public ways, of ancient or of modern times.
As great men are urged on to the abuse of power (when they need urging, which is not often), by their flatterers and dependents, so old John was impelled12 to these exercises of authority by the applause and admiration13 of his Maypole cronies, who, in the intervals14 of their nightly pipes and pots, would shake their heads and say that Mr Willet was a father of the good old English sort; that there were no new-fangled notions or modern ways in him; that he put them in mind of what their fathers were when they were boys; that there was no mistake about him; that it would be well for the country if there were more like him, and more was the pity that there were not; with many other original remarks of that nature. Then they would condescendingly give Joe to understand that it was all for his good, and he would be thankful for it one day; and in particular, Mr Cobb would acquaint him, that when he was his age, his father thought no more of giving him a parental15 kick, or a box on the ears, or a cuff16 on the head, or some little admonition of that sort, than he did of any other ordinary duty of life; and he would further remark, with looks of great significance, that but for this judicious17 bringing up, he might have never been the man he was at that present speaking; which was probable enough, as he was, beyond all question, the dullest dog of the party. In short, between old John and old John’s friends, there never was an unfortunate young fellow so bullied18, badgered, worried, fretted19, and brow-beaten; so constantly beset20, or made so tired of his life, as poor Joe Willet.
This had come to be the recognised and established state of things; but as John was very anxious to flourish his supremacy21 before the eyes of Mr Chester, he did that day exceed himself, and did so goad22 and chafe23 his son and heir, that but for Joe’s having made a solemn vow24 to keep his hands in his pockets when they were not otherwise engaged, it is impossible to say what he might have done with them. But the longest day has an end, and at length Mr Chester came downstairs to mount his horse, which was ready at the door.
As old John was not in the way at the moment, Joe, who was sitting in the bar ruminating25 on his dismal26 fate and the manifold perfections of Dolly Varden, ran out to hold the guest’s stirrup and assist him to mount. Mr Chester was scarcely in the saddle, and Joe was in the very act of making him a graceful27 bow, when old John came diving out of the porch, and collared him.
‘None of that, sir,’ said John, ‘none of that, sir. No breaking of patroles. How dare you come out of the door, sir, without leave? You’re trying to get away, sir, are you, and to make a traitor28 of yourself again? What do you mean, sir?’
‘Let me go, father,’ said Joe, imploringly29, as he marked the smile upon their visitor’s face, and observed the pleasure his disgrace afforded him. ‘This is too bad. Who wants to get away?’
‘Who wants to get away!’ cried John, shaking him. ‘Why you do, sir, you do. You’re the boy, sir,’ added John, collaring with one band, and aiding the effect of a farewell bow to the visitor with the other, ‘that wants to sneak30 into houses, and stir up differences between noble gentlemen and their sons, are you, eh? Hold your tongue, sir.’
Joe made no effort to reply. It was the crowning circumstance of his degradation31. He extricated32 himself from his father’s grasp, darted33 an angry look at the departing guest, and returned into the house.
‘But for her,’ thought Joe, as he threw his arms upon a table in the common room, and laid his head upon them, ‘but for Dolly, who I couldn’t bear should think me the rascal34 they would make me out to be if I ran away, this house and I should part to-night.’
It being evening by this time, Solomon Daisy, Tom Cobb, and Long Parkes, were all in the common room too, and had from the window been witnesses of what had just occurred. Mr Willet joining them soon afterwards, received the compliments of the company with great composure, and lighting35 his pipe, sat down among them.
‘We’ll see, gentlemen,’ said John, after a long pause, ‘who’s the master of this house, and who isn’t. We’ll see whether boys are to govern men, or men are to govern boys.’
‘And quite right too,’ assented36 Solomon Daisy with some approving nods; ‘quite right, Johnny. Very good, Johnny. Well said, Mr Willet. Brayvo, sir.’
John slowly brought his eyes to bear upon him, looked at him for a long time, and finally made answer, to the unspeakable consternation37 of his hearers, ‘When I want encouragement from you, sir, I’ll ask you for it. You let me alone, sir. I can get on without you, I hope. Don’t you tackle me, sir, if you please.’
‘Don’t take it ill, Johnny; I didn’t mean any harm,’ pleaded the little man.
‘Very good, sir,’ said John, more than usually obstinate38 after his late success. ‘Never mind, sir. I can stand pretty firm of myself, sir, I believe, without being shored up by you.’ And having given utterance39 to this retort, Mr Willet fixed40 his eyes upon the boiler41, and fell into a kind of tobacco-trance.
The spirits of the company being somewhat damped by this embarrassing line of conduct on the part of their host, nothing more was said for a long time; but at length Mr Cobb took upon himself to remark, as he rose to knock the ashes out of his pipe, that he hoped Joe would thenceforth learn to obey his father in all things; that he had found, that day, he was not one of the sort of men who were to be trifled with; and that he would recommend him, poetically42 speaking, to mind his eye for the future.
‘I’d recommend you, in return,’ said Joe, looking up with a flushed face, ‘not to talk to me.’
‘Hold your tongue, sir,’ cried Mr Willet, suddenly rousing himself, and turning round.
‘I won’t, father,’ cried Joe, smiting43 the table with his fist, so that the jugs44 and glasses rung again; ‘these things are hard enough to bear from you; from anybody else I never will endure them any more. Therefore I say, Mr Cobb, don’t talk to me.’
‘Why, who are you,’ said Mr Cobb, sneeringly45, ‘that you’re not to be talked to, eh, Joe?’
To which Joe returned no answer, but with a very ominous46 shake of the head, resumed his old position, which he would have peacefully preserved until the house shut up at night, but that Mr Cobb, stimulated47 by the wonder of the company at the young man’s presumption48, retorted with sundry49 taunts50, which proved too much for flesh and blood to bear. Crowding into one moment the vexation and the wrath51 of years, Joe started up, overturned the table, fell upon his long enemy, pummelled him with all his might and main, and finished by driving him with surprising swiftness against a heap of spittoons in one corner; plunging52 into which, head foremost, with a tremendous crash, he lay at full length among the ruins, stunned53 and motionless. Then, without waiting to receive the compliments of the bystanders on the victory be had won, he retreated to his own bedchamber, and considering himself in a state of siege, piled all the portable furniture against the door by way of barricade54.
‘I have done it now,’ said Joe, as he sat down upon his bedstead and wiped his heated face. ‘I knew it would come at last. The Maypole and I must part company. I’m a roving vagabond — she hates me for evermore — it’s all over!’
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1
homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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scourges
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| 带来灾难的人或东西，祸害( scourge的名词复数 )； 鞭子 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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purged
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| 清除（政敌等）( purge的过去式和过去分词 )； 涤除（罪恶等）； 净化（心灵、风气等）； 消除（错事等）的不良影响 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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snipped
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| v.剪( snip的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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exuberance
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| n.丰富；繁荣 | |
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shearing
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| n.剪羊毛，剪取的羊毛v.剪羊毛( shear的现在分词 )；切断；剪切 | |
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mightiness
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| n.强大 | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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tyrant
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| n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人 | |
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impelled
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| v.推动、推进或敦促某人做某事( impel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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14
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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parental
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| adj.父母的；父的；母的 | |
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cuff
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| n.袖口；手铐；护腕；vt.用手铐铐；上袖口 | |
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judicious
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| adj.明智的，明断的，能作出明智决定的 | |
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bullied
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| adj.被欺负了v.恐吓，威逼( bully的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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fretted
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| 焦躁的，附有弦马的，腐蚀的 | |
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beset
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| v.镶嵌；困扰，包围 | |
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supremacy
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| n.至上；至高权力 | |
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goad
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| n.刺棒，刺痛物；激励；vt.激励，刺激 | |
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chafe
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| v.擦伤；冲洗；惹怒 | |
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vow
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| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
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ruminating
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| v.沉思( ruminate的现在分词 )；反复考虑；反刍；倒嚼 | |
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dismal
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| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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traitor
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| n.叛徒，卖国贼 | |
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imploringly
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| adv. 恳求地, 哀求地 | |
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sneak
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| vt.潜行(隐藏,填石缝)；偷偷摸摸做；n.潜行；adj.暗中进行 | |
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degradation
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| n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变 | |
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32
extricated
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| v.使摆脱困难，脱身( extricate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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rascal
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| n.流氓；不诚实的人 | |
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lighting
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| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
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assented
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| 同意，赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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obstinate
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| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
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utterance
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| n.用言语表达，话语，言语 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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boiler
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| n.锅炉；煮器(壶，锅等) | |
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poetically
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| adv.有诗意地，用韵文 | |
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smiting
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的现在分词 ) | |
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jugs
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| （有柄及小口的）水壶( jug的名词复数 ) | |
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45
sneeringly
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| 嘲笑地，轻蔑地 | |
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ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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stimulated
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| a.刺激的 | |
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presumption
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| n.推测，可能性，冒昧，放肆，[法律]推定 | |
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sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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taunts
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| 嘲弄的言语，嘲笑，奚落( taunt的名词复数 ) | |
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51
wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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52
plunging
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| adj.跳进的，突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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53
stunned
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| adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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barricade
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| n.路障，栅栏，障碍；vt.设路障挡住 | |
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