When the blind are operated on for the restoration of sight, the same succouring hand which has opened to them the visible world, immediately shuts out the bright prospect2 again, for a time. A bandage is passed over the eyes, lest in the first tenderness of the recovered sense, it should be fatally affected3 by the sudden transition from darkness to light. But between the awful blank of total privation of vision, and the temporary blank of vision merely veiled, there lies the widest difference. In the moment of their restoration, the blind have had one glimpse of light, flashing on them in an overpowering gleam of brightness, which the thickest, closest veiling cannot extinguish. The new darkness is not like the void darkness of old; it is filled with changing visions of brilliant colours and ever-varying forms, rising, falling, whirling hither and thither4 with every second. Even when the handkerchief is passed over them, the once sightless eyes, though bandaged fast, are yet not blinded as they were before.
It was so with my mental vision. After the utter oblivion and darkness of a deep swoon, consciousness flashed like light on my mind, when I found myself in my father’s presence, and in my own home. But, almost at the very moment when I first awakened5 to the bewildering influence of that sight, a new darkness fell upon my faculties6 — a darkness, this time, which was not utter oblivion; a peopled darkness, like that which the bandage casts over the opened eyes of the blind.
I had sensations, I had thoughts, I had visions, now — but they all acted in the frightful7 self-concentration of delirium8. The lapse9 of time, the march of events, the alternation of day and night, the persons who moved about me, the words they spoke10, the offices of kindness they did for me — all these were annihilated11 from the period when I closed my eyes again, after having opened them for an instant on my father, in my own study.
My first sensation (how soon it came after I had been brought home, I know not) was of a terrible heat; a steady, blazing heat, which seemed to have shrivelled and burnt up the whole of the little world around me, and to have left me alone to suffer, but never to consume in it. After this, came a quick, restless, unintermittent toiling13 of obscure thought, ever in the same darkened sphere, ever on the same impenetrable subject, ever failing to reach some distant and visionary result. It was as if something were imprisoned14 in my mind, and moving always to and fro in it — moving, but never getting free.
Soon, these thoughts began to take a form that I could recognise.
In the clinging heat and fierce seething15 fever, to which neither waking nor sleeping brought a breath of freshness or a dream of change, I began to act my part over again, in the events that had passed, but in a strangely altered character. Now, instead of placing implicit16 trust in others, as I had done; instead of failing to discover a significance and a warning in each circumstance as it arose, I was suspicious from the first — suspicious of Margaret, of her father, of her mother, of Mannion, of the very servants in the house. In the hideous17 phantasmagoria of my own calamity18 on which I now looked, my position was reversed. Every event of the doomed19 year of my probation21 was revived. But the doom20 itself, the night-scene of horror through which I had passed, had utterly22 vanished from my memory. This lost recollection, it was the one unending toil12 of my wandering mind to recover, and I never got it back. None who have not suffered as I suffered then, can imagine with what a burning rage of determination I followed past events in my delirium, one by one, for days and nights together,— followed, to get to the end which I knew was beyond, but which I never could see, not even by glimpses, for a moment at a time.
However my visions might alter in their course of succession, they always began with the night when Mannion returned from the continent to North Villa24. I stood again in the drawing-room; I saw him enter; I marked the slight confusion of Margaret; and instantly doubted her. I noticed his unwillingness25 to meet her eye or mine; I looked on the sinister27 stillness of his face; and suspected him. From that moment, love vanished, and hatred28 came in its place. I began to watch; to garner29 up slight circumstances which confirmed my suspicions; to wait craftily30 for the day when I should discover, judge, and punish them both — the day of disclosure and retribution that never came.
Sometimes, I was again with Mannion, in his house, on the night of the storm. I detected in every word he spoke an artful lure31 to trap me into trusting him as my second father, more than as my friend. I heard in the tempest sounds which mysteriously interrupted, or mingled32 with, my answers, voices supernaturally warning me of my enemy, each time that I spoke to him. I saw once more the hideous smile of triumph on his face, as I took leave of him on the doorstep: and saw it, this time, not as an illusion produced by a flash of lightning, but as a frightful reality which the lightning disclosed.
Sometimes, I was again in the garden at North Villa accidentally overhearing the conversation between Margaret and her mother — overhearing what deceit she was willing to commit, for the sake of getting a new dress — then going into the room, and seeing her assume her usual manner on meeting me, as if no such words as I had listened to but the moment before, had ever proceeded from her lips. Or, I saw her on that other morning, when, to revenge the death of her bird, she would have killed with her own hand the one pet companion that her sick mother possessed33. Now, no generous, trusting love blinded me to the real meaning of such events as these. Now, instead of regarding them as little weaknesses of beauty, and little errors of youth, I saw them as timely warnings, which bade me remember when the day of my vengeance34 came, that in the contriving35 of the iniquity36 on which they were both bent37, the woman had been as vile38 as the man.
Sometimes, I was once more on my way to North Villa, after my week’s absence at our country house. I saw again the change in Margaret since I had left her — the paleness, the restlessness, the appearance of agitation39. I took the hand of Mannion, and started as I felt its deadly coldness, and remarked the strange alteration40 in his manner. When they accounted for these changes by telling me that both had been ill, in different ways, since my departure, I detected the miserable41 lie at once; I knew that an evil advantage had been taken of my absence; that the plot against me was fast advancing towards consummation: and that, at the sight of their victim, even the two wretches42 who were compassing my dishonour43 could not repress all outward manifestation44 of their guilt45.
Sometimes, the figure of Mrs. Sherwin appeared to me, wan23 and weary, and mournful with a ghostly mournfulness. Again I watched her, and listened to her; but now with eager curiosity, with breathless attention. Once more, I saw her shudder46 when Mannion’s cold eyes turned on her face — I marked the anxious, imploring47 look that she cast on Margaret and on me — I heard her confused, unwilling26 answer, when I inquired the cause of her dislike of the man in whom her husband placed the most implicit trust — I listened to her abrupt48, inexplicable49 injunction to “watch continually over my wife, and keep bad people from her.” All these different circumstances occurred again as vividly50 as in the reality; but I did not now account for them, as I had once accounted for them, by convincing myself that Mrs. Sherwin’s mind was wandering, and that her bodily sufferings had affected her intellect. I saw immediately, that she suspected Mannion, and dared not openly confess her suspicions; I saw, that in the stillness, and abandonment, and self-concentration of her neglected life, she had been watching more vigilantly51 than others had watched; I detected in every one of her despised gestures, and looks, and halting words, the same concealed52 warning ever lying beneath the surface; I knew they had not succeeded in deceiving her; I was determined53 they should not succeed in deceiving me.
It was oftenest at this point, that my restless memory recoiled54 before the impenetrable darkness which forbade it to see further — to see on to the last evening, to the fatal night. It was oftenest at this point, that I toiled55 and struggled back, over and over again, to seek once more the lost events of the End, through the events of the Beginning. How often my wandering thoughts thus incessantly56 and desperately57 traced and retraced58 their way over their own fever track, I cannot tell: but there came a time when they suddenly ceased to torment59 me; when the heavy burden that was on my mind fell off; when a sudden strength and fury possessed me, and I plunged60 down through a vast darkness into a world whose daylight was all radiant flame. Giant phantoms61 mustered63 by millions, flashing white as lightning in the ruddy air. They rushed on me with hurricane speed; their wings fanned me with fiery64 breezes; and the echo of their thunder-music was like the groaning65 and rending66 of an earthquake, as they tore me away with them on their whirlwind course.
Away! to a City of Palaces, to measureless halls, and arches, and domes67, soaring one above another, till their flashing ruby68 summits are lost in the burning void, high overhead. On! through and through these mountain-piles, into countless69, limitless corridors, reared on pillars lurid70 and rosy71 as molten lava72. Far down the corridors rise visions of flying phantoms, ever at the same distance before us — their raving73 voices clanging like the hammers of a thousand forges. Still on and on; faster and faster, for days, years, centuries together, till there comes, stealing slowly forward to meet us, a shadow — a vast, stealthy, gliding74 shadow — the first darkness that has ever been shed over that world of blazing light! It comes nearer — nearer and nearer softly, till it touches the front ranks of our phantom62 troop. Then in an instant, our rushing progress is checked: the thunder-music of our wild march stops; the raving voices of the spectres ahead, cease; a horror of blank stillness is all about us — and as the shadow creeps onward75 and onward, until we are enveloped76 in it from front to rear, we shiver with icy cold under the fiery air and amid the lurid lava pillars which hem1 us in on either side.
A silence, like no silence ever known on earth; a darkening of the shadow, blacker than the blackest night in the thickest wood — a pause — then, a sound as of the heavy air being cleft77 asunder78; and then, an apparition79 of two figures coming on out of the shadow — two monsters stretching forth80 their gnarled yellow talons81 to grasp at us; leaving on their track a green decay, oozing83 and shining with a sickly light. Beyond and around me, as I stood in the midst of them, the phantom troop dropped into formless masses, while the monsters advanced. They came close to me; and I alone, of all the myriads84 around, changed not at their approach. Each laid a talon82 on my shoulder — each raised a veil which was one hideous net-work of twining worms. I saw through the ghastly corruption85 of their faces the look that told me who they were — the monstrous86 iniquities87 incarnate88 in monstrous forms; the fiend-souls made visible in fiend-shapes — Margaret and Mannion!
A moment more! and I was alone with those two. Not a wreck89 of the phantom-multitude remained; the towering city, the gleaming corridors, the fire-bright radiance had vanished. We stood on a wilderness90 — a still, black lake of dead waters was before us; a white, faint, misty91 light shone on us. Outspread over the noisome92 ground lay the ruins of a house, rooted up and overthrown93 to its foundations. The demon94 figures, still watching on either side of me, drew me slowly forward to the fallen stones, and pointed95 to two dead bodies lying among them.
My father!— my sister!— both cold and still, and whiter than the white light that showed them to me. The demons96 at my side stretched out their crooked97 talons, and forbade me to kneel before my father, or to kiss Clara’s wan face, before I went to torment. They struck me motionless where I stood — and unveiled their hideous faces once more, jeering98 at me in triumph. Anon, the lake of black waters heaved up and overflowed99, and noiselessly sucked us away into its central depths — depths that were endless; depths of rayless darkness, in which we slowly eddied100 round and round, deeper and deeper down at every turn. I felt the bodies of my father and my sister touching101 me in cold contact: I stretched out my arms to clasp them and sink with them; and the demon pair glided102 between us, and separated me from them. This vain striving to join myself to my dead kindred when we touched each other in the slow, endless whirlpool, ever continued and was ever frustrated103 in the same way. Still we sank apart, down the black gulphs of the lake; still there was no light, no sound, no change, no pause of repose104 — and this was eternity105: the eternity of Hell!
Such was one dream-vision out of many that I saw. It must have been at this time that men were set to watch me day and night (as I afterwards heard), in order that I might be held down in my bed, when a paroxysm of convulsive strength made me dangerous to myself and to all about me. The period too when the doctors announced that the fever had seized on my brain, and was getting the better of their skill, must have been this period.
But though they gave up my life as lost, I was not to die. There came a time, at last, when the gnawing106 fever lost its hold; and I awoke faintly one morning to a new existence — to a life frail107 and helpless as the life of a new-born babe.
I was too weak to move, to speak, to open my eyes, to exert in the smallest degree any one faculty108, bodily or mental, that I possessed. The first sense of which I regained109 the use, was the sense of hearing; and the first sound that I recognised, was of a light footstep which mysteriously approached, paused, and then retired110 again gently outside my door. The hearing of this sound was my first pleasure, the waiting for its repetition my first source of happy expectation, since I had been ill. Once more the footsteps approached — paused a moment — then seemed to retire as before — then returned slowly. A sigh, very faint and trembling; a whisper of which I could not yet distinguish the import, caught my ear — and after that, there was silence. Still I waited (oh, how happily and calmly!) to hear the whisper soon repeated, and to hear it better when it next came. Ere long, for the third time, the footsteps advanced, and the whispering accents sounded again. I could now hear that they pronounced my name — once, twice, three times — very softly and imploringly111, as if to beg the answer which I was still too weak to give. But I knew the voice: I knew it was Clara’s. Long after it had ceased, the whisper lingered gently on my ear, like a lullaby that alternately soothed112 me to slumber113, and welcomed me to wakefulness. It seemed to be thrilling through my frame with a tender, reviving influence — the same influence which the sunshine had, weeks afterwards, when I enjoyed it for the first time out of doors.
The next sound that came to me was audible in my room; audible sometimes, close at my pillow. It was the simplest sound imaginable — nothing but the soft rustling114 of a woman’s dress. And yet, I heard in it innumerable harmonies, sweet changes, and pauses minute beyond all definition. I could only open my eyes for a minute at a time, and even then, could not fix them steadily115 on anything; but I knew that the rustling dress was Clara’s; and fresh sensations seemed to throng116 upon me, as I listened to the sound which told me that she was in the room. I felt the soft summer air on my face; I enjoyed the sweet scent117 of flowers, wafted118 on that air; and once, when my door was left open for a moment, the twittering of birds in the aviary119 down stairs, rang with exquisite120 clearness and sweetness on my ear. It was thus that my faculties strengthened, hour by hour, always in the same gradual way, from the time when I first heard the footstep and the whisper outside my chamber-door.
One evening I awoke from a cool, dreamless sleep; and, seeing Clara sitting by my bedside, faintly uttered her name, and moved my wasted hand to take hers. As I saw the calm, familiar face bending over me; the anxious eyes looking tenderly and lovingly into mine — as the last melancholy121 glory of sunset hovered122 on my bed, and the air, sinking already into its twilight123 repose, came softly and more softly into the room — as my sister took me in her arms, and raising me on my weary pillow, bade me for her sake lie hushed and patient a little longer — the memory of the ruin and the shame that had overwhelmed me; the memory of my love that had become an infamy124; and of my brief year’s hope miserably125 fulfilled by a life of despair, swelled126 darkly over my heart. The red, retiring rays of sunset just lingered at that moment on my face. Clara knelt down by my pillow, and held up her handkerchief to shade my eyes —“God has given you back to us, Basil,” she whispered, “to make us happier than ever.” As she spoke, the springs of the grief so long pent up within me were loosened; hot tears dropped heavily and quickly from my eyes; and I wept for the first time since the night of horror which had stretched me where I now lay — wept in my sister’s arms, at that quiet evening hour, for the lost honour, the lost hope, the lost happiness that had gone from me for ever in my youth!
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hem
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| n.贴边，镶边；vt.缝贴边；(in)包围，限制 | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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frightful
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| adj.可怕的；讨厌的 | |
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delirium
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| n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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lapse
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| n.过失，流逝，失效，抛弃信仰，间隔；vi.堕落，停止，失效，流逝；vt.使失效 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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annihilated
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| v.（彻底）消灭( annihilate的过去式和过去分词 )；使无效；废止；彻底击溃 | |
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toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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toiling
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| 长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的现在分词 )； 艰难缓慢地移动，跋涉 | |
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imprisoned
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| 下狱，监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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seething
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| 沸腾的，火热的 | |
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implicit
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| a.暗示的，含蓄的，不明晰的，绝对的 | |
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hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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calamity
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| n.灾害，祸患，不幸事件 | |
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doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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doom
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| n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定 | |
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probation
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| n.缓刑(期)，(以观后效的)察看；试用(期) | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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wan
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| (wide area network)广域网 | |
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villa
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| n.别墅，城郊小屋 | |
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unwillingness
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| n. 不愿意，不情愿 | |
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unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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garner
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| v.收藏；取得 | |
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craftily
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| 狡猾地，狡诈地 | |
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lure
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| n.吸引人的东西，诱惑物；vt.引诱，吸引 | |
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mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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contriving
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| （不顾困难地）促成某事( contrive的现在分词 )； 巧妙地策划，精巧地制造（如机器）； 设法做到 | |
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iniquity
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| n.邪恶；不公正 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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wretches
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| n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 )；可怜的人；恶棍；坏蛋 | |
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dishonour
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| n./vt.拒付（支票、汇票、票据等）；vt.凌辱，使丢脸；n.不名誉，耻辱，不光彩 | |
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manifestation
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| n.表现形式；表明；现象 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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imploring
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| 恳求的，哀求的 | |
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abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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inexplicable
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| adj.无法解释的，难理解的 | |
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vividly
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| adv.清楚地，鲜明地，生动地 | |
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vigilantly
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| adv.警觉地，警惕地 | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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recoiled
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| v.畏缩( recoil的过去式和过去分词 )；退缩；报应；返回 | |
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toiled
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| 长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的过去式和过去分词 )； 艰难缓慢地移动，跋涉 | |
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incessantly
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| ad.不停地 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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retraced
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| v.折回( retrace的过去式和过去分词 )；回忆；回顾；追溯 | |
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torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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phantoms
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| n.鬼怪，幽灵( phantom的名词复数 ) | |
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phantom
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| n.幻影，虚位，幽灵；adj.错觉的，幻影的，幽灵的 | |
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63
mustered
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| v.集合，召集，集结（尤指部队）( muster的过去式和过去分词 )；（自他人处）搜集某事物；聚集；激发 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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groaning
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| adj. 呜咽的, 呻吟的 动词groan的现在分词形式 | |
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66
rending
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| v.撕碎( rend的现在分词 )；分裂；（因愤怒、痛苦等而）揪扯（衣服或头发等）；（声音等）刺破 | |
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domes
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| n.圆屋顶( dome的名词复数 )；像圆屋顶一样的东西；圆顶体育场 | |
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68
ruby
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| n.红宝石，红宝石色 | |
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69
countless
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| adj.无数的，多得不计其数的 | |
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lurid
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| adj.可怕的；血红的；苍白的 | |
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71
rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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72
lava
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| n.熔岩，火山岩 | |
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73
raving
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| adj.说胡话的；疯狂的，怒吼的；非常漂亮的；令人醉心[痴心]的v.胡言乱语(rave的现在分词)n.胡话；疯话adv.胡言乱语地；疯狂地 | |
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74
gliding
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| v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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75
onward
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| adj.向前的，前进的；adv.向前，前进，在先 | |
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76
enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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cleft
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| n.裂缝；adj.裂开的 | |
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asunder
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| adj.分离的，化为碎片 | |
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apparition
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| n.幽灵，神奇的现象 | |
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80
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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81
talons
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| n.（尤指猛禽的）爪( talon的名词复数 )；（如爪般的）手指；爪状物；锁簧尖状突出部 | |
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82
talon
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| n.爪；（如爪般的）手指；爪状物 | |
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83
oozing
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| v.（浓液等）慢慢地冒出，渗出( ooze的现在分词 )；使（液体）缓缓流出；（浓液）渗出，慢慢流出 | |
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84
myriads
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| n.无数，极大数量( myriad的名词复数 ) | |
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85
corruption
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| n.腐败，堕落，贪污 | |
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86
monstrous
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| adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的 | |
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iniquities
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| n.邪恶( iniquity的名词复数 )；极不公正 | |
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incarnate
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| adj.化身的，人体化的，肉色的 | |
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89
wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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misty
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| adj.雾蒙蒙的，有雾的 | |
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noisome
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| adj.有害的，可厌的 | |
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overthrown
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| adj. 打翻的，推倒的，倾覆的 动词overthrow的过去分词 | |
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demon
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| n.魔鬼，恶魔 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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demons
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| n.恶人( demon的名词复数 )；恶魔；精力过人的人；邪念 | |
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crooked
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| adj.弯曲的；不诚实的，狡猾的，不正当的 | |
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jeering
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| adj.嘲弄的，揶揄的v.嘲笑( jeer的现在分词 ) | |
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99
overflowed
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| 溢出的 | |
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100
eddied
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| 起漩涡，旋转( eddy的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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101
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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102
glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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103
frustrated
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| adj.挫败的，失意的，泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的过去式和过去分词 )；挫败；使受挫折；令人沮丧 | |
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104
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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105
eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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106
gnawing
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| a.痛苦的，折磨人的 | |
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107
frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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108
faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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109
regained
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| 复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地 | |
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110
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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111
imploringly
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| adv. 恳求地, 哀求地 | |
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112
soothed
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| v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦 | |
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113
slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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114
rustling
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| n. 瑟瑟声，沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
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115
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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116
throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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117
scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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118
wafted
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| v.吹送，飘送，（使）浮动( waft的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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119
aviary
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| n.大鸟笼，鸟舍 | |
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120
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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121
melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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122
hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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123
twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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124
infamy
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| n.声名狼藉，出丑，恶行 | |
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125
miserably
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| adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地 | |
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126
swelled
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| 增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情） | |
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