Basset Harrowcluff returned to the home of his fathers, after an absence of four years, distinctly well pleased with himself. He was only thirty-one, but he had put in some useful service in an out-of-the-way, though not unimportant, corner of the world. He had quieted a province, kept open a trade route, enforced the tradition of respect which is worth the ransom1 of many kings in out-of-the-way regions, and done the whole business on rather less expenditure2 than would be requisite3 for organising a charity in the home country. In Whitehall and places where they think, they doubtless thought well of him. It was not inconceivable, his father allowed himself to imagine, that Basset’s name might figure in the next list of Honours.
Basset was inclined to be rather contemptuous of his half-brother, Lucas, whom he found feverishly4 engrossed5 in the same medley6 of elaborate futilities that had claimed his whole time and energies, such as they were, four years ago, and almost as far back before that as he could remember. It was the contempt of the man of action for the man of activities, and it was probably reciprocated7. Lucas was an over-well nourished individual, some nine years Basset’s senior, with a colouring that would have been accepted as a sign of intensive culture in an asparagus, but probably meant in this case mere8 abstention from exercise. His hair and forehead furnished a recessional note in a personality that was in all other respects obtrusive9 and assertive10. There was certainly no Semitic blood in Lucas’s parentage, but his appearance contrived11 to convey at least a suggestion of Jewish extraction. Clovis Sangrail, who knew most of his associates by sight, said it was undoubtedly12 a case of protective mimicry13.
Two days after Basset’s return, Lucas frisked in to lunch in a state of twittering excitement that could not be restrained even for the immediate14 consideration of soup, but had to be verbally discharged in spluttering competition with mouthfuls of vermicelli.
“I’ve got hold of an idea for something immense,” he babbled15, “something that is simply It.”
Basset gave a short laugh that would have done equally well as a snort, if one had wanted to make the exchange. His half-brother was in the habit of discovering futilities that were “simply It” at frequently recurring16 intervals17. The discovery generally meant that he flew up to town, preceded by glowingly-worded telegrams, to see some one connected with the stage or the publishing world, got together one or two momentous18 luncheon19 parties, flitted in and out of “Gambrinus” for one or two evenings, and returned home with an air of subdued20 importance and the asparagus tint21 slightly intensified22. The great idea was generally forgotten a few weeks later in the excitement of some new discovery.
“The inspiration came to me whilst I was dressing,” announced Lucas; “it will be the thing in the next music-hall revue . All London will go mad over it. It’s just a couplet; of course there will be other words, but they won’t matter. Listen:
Cousin Teresa takes out Caesar, Fido, Jock, and the big borzoi.
A lifting, catchy23 sort of refrain, you see, and big-drum business on the two syllables24 of bor-zoi. It’s immense. And I’ve thought out all the business of it; the singer will sing the first verse alone, then during the second verse Cousin Teresa will walk through, followed by four wooden dogs on wheels; Caesar will be an Irish terrier, Fido a black poodle, Jock a fox-terrier, and the borzoi, of course, will be a borzoi. During the third verse Cousin Teresa will come on alone, and the dogs will be drawn25 across by themselves from the opposite wing; then Cousin Teresa will catch on to the singer and go off-stage in one direction, while the dogs’ procession goes off in the other, crossing en route, which is always very effective. There’ll be a lot of applause there, and for the fourth verse Cousin Teresa will come on in sables26 and the dogs will all have coats on. Then I’ve got a great idea for the fifth verse; each of the dogs will be led on by a Nut, and Cousin Teresa will come on from the opposite side, crossing en route, always effective, and then she turns round and leads the whole lot of them off on a string, and all the time every one singing like mad:
Cousin Teresa takes out Caesar Fido, Jock, and the big borzoi.
Tum–Tum! Drum business on the two last syllables. I’m so excited, I shan’t sleep a wink27 to-night. I’m off tomorrow by the ten-fifteen. I’ve wired to Hermanova to lunch with me.”
If any of the rest of the family felt any excitement over the creation of Cousin Teresa, they were signally successful in concealing28 the fact.
“Poor Lucas does take his silly little ideas seriously,” said Colonel Harrowcluff afterwards in the smoking-room.
“Yes,” said his younger son, in a slightly less tolerant tone, “in a day or two he’ll come back and tell us that his sensational29 masterpiece is above the heads of the public, and in about three weeks’ time he’ll be wild with enthusiasm over a scheme to dramatise the poems of Herrick or something equally promising30.”
And then an extraordinary thing befell. In defiance31 of all precedent32 Lucas’s glowing anticipations33 were justified34 and endorsed35 by the course of events. If Cousin Teresa was above the heads of the public, the public heroically adapted itself to her altitude. Introduced as an experiment at a dull moment in a new revue , the success of the item was unmistakable; the calls were so insistent36 and uproarious that even Lucas’ ample devisings of additional “business” scarcely sufficed to keep pace with the demand. Packed houses on successive evenings confirmed the verdict of the first night audience, stalls and boxes filled significantly just before the turn came on, and emptied significantly after the last encore had been given. The manager tearfully acknowledged that Cousin Teresa was It. Stage hands and supers and programme sellers acknowledged it to one another without the least reservation. The name of the revue dwindled37 to secondary importance, and vast letters of electric blue blazoned38 the words “Cousin Teresa” from the front of the great palace of pleasure. And, of course, the magic of the famous refrain laid its spell all over the Metropolis39. Restaurant proprietors40 were obliged to provide the members of their orchestras with painted wooden dogs on wheels, in order that the much-demanded and always conceded melody should be rendered with the necessary spectacular effects, and the crash of bottles and forks on the tables at the mention of the big borzoi usually drowned the sincerest efforts of drum or cymbals41. Nowhere and at no time could one get away from the double thump42 that brought up the rear of the refrain; revellers reeling home at night banged it on doors and hoardings, milkmen clashed their cans to its cadence43, messenger boys hit smaller messenger boys resounding44 double smacks45 on the same principle. And the more thoughtful circles of the great city were not deaf to the claims and significance of the popular melody. An enterprising and emancipated46 preacher discoursed47 from his pulpit on the inner meaning of “Cousin Teresa,” and Lucas Harrowcluff was invited to lecture on the subject of his great achievement to members of the Young Mens’ Endeavour League, the Nine Arts Club, and other learned and willing-to-learn bodies. In Society it seemed to be the one thing people really cared to talk about; men and women of middle age and average education might be seen together in corners earnestly discussing, not the question whether Servia should have an outlet48 on the Adriatic, or the possibilities of a British success in international polo contests, but the more absorbing topic of the problematic Aztec or Nilotic origin of the Teresa motiv .
“Politics and patriotism49 are so boring and so out of date,” said a revered50 lady who had some pretensions51 to oracular utterance52; “we are too cosmopolitan53 nowadays to be really moved by them. That is why one welcomes an intelligible54 production like ‘Cousin Teresa,’ that has a genuine message for one. One can’t understand the message all at once, of course, but one felt from the very first that it was there. I’ve been to see it eighteen times and I’m going again tomorrow and on Thursday. One can’t see it often enough.”
* * * *
“It would be rather a popular move if we gave this Harrowcluff person a knighthood or something of the sort,” said the Minister reflectively.
“Which Harrowcluff?” asked his secretary.
“Which? There is only one, isn’t there?” said the Minister; “the ‘Cousin Teresa’ man, of course. I think every one would be pleased if we knighted him. Yes, you can put him down on the list of certainties — under the letter L.”
“The letter L,” said the secretary, who was new to his job; “does that stand for Liberalism or liberality?”
Most of the recipients55 of Ministerial favour were expected to qualify in both of those subjects.
“Literature,” explained the Minister.
And thus, after a fashion, Colonel Harrowcluff’s expectation of seeing his son’s name in the list of Honours was gratified.
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ransom
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| n.赎金，赎身；v.赎回，解救 | |
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expenditure
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| n.(时间、劳力、金钱等)支出；使用，消耗 | |
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requisite
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| adj.需要的，必不可少的；n.必需品 | |
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feverishly
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| adv. 兴奋地 | |
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engrossed
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| adj.全神贯注的 | |
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medley
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| n.混合 | |
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reciprocated
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| v.报答，酬答( reciprocate的过去式和过去分词 )；（机器的部件）直线往复运动 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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obtrusive
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| adj.显眼的；冒失的 | |
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assertive
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| adj.果断的，自信的，有冲劲的 | |
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contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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mimicry
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| n.（生物）拟态，模仿 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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babbled
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| v.喋喋不休( babble的过去式和过去分词 )；作潺潺声（如流水）；含糊不清地说话；泄漏秘密 | |
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recurring
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| adj.往复的，再次发生的 | |
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intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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momentous
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| adj.重要的，重大的 | |
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luncheon
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| n.午宴，午餐，便宴 | |
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subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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intensified
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| v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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catchy
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| adj.易记住的，诡诈的，易使人上当的 | |
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syllables
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| n.音节( syllable的名词复数 ) | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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sables
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| n.紫貂( sable的名词复数 )；紫貂皮；阴暗的；暗夜 | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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28
concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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sensational
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| adj.使人感动的，非常好的，轰动的，耸人听闻的 | |
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promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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precedent
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| n.先例，前例；惯例；adj.在前的，在先的 | |
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anticipations
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| 预期( anticipation的名词复数 )； 预测； （信托财产收益的）预支； 预期的事物 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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endorsed
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| vt.& vi.endorse的过去式或过去分词形式v.赞同( endorse的过去式和过去分词 )；在（尤指支票的）背面签字；在（文件的）背面写评论；在广告上说本人使用并赞同某产品 | |
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insistent
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| adj.迫切的，坚持的 | |
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dwindled
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| v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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38
blazoned
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| v.广布( blazon的过去式和过去分词 )；宣布；夸示；装饰 | |
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metropolis
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| n.首府；大城市 | |
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proprietors
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| n.所有人，业主( proprietor的名词复数 ) | |
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cymbals
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| pl.铙钹 | |
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42
thump
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| v.重击，砰然地响；n.重击，重击声 | |
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cadence
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| n.（说话声调的）抑扬顿挫 | |
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resounding
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| adj. 响亮的 | |
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45
smacks
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| 掌掴（声）( smack的名词复数 )； 海洛因； （打的）一拳； 打巴掌 | |
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emancipated
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| adj.被解放的，不受约束的v.解放某人（尤指摆脱政治、法律或社会的束缚）( emancipate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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discoursed
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| 演说（discourse的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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outlet
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| n.出口/路；销路；批发商店；通风口；发泄 | |
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49
patriotism
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| n.爱国精神，爱国心，爱国主义 | |
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50
revered
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| v.崇敬，尊崇，敬畏( revere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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pretensions
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| 自称( pretension的名词复数 )； 自命不凡； 要求； 权力 | |
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utterance
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| n.用言语表达，话语，言语 | |
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53
cosmopolitan
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| adj.世界性的，全世界的，四海为家的，全球的 | |
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intelligible
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| adj.可理解的，明白易懂的，清楚的 | |
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recipients
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| adj.接受的；受领的；容纳的；愿意接受的n.收件人；接受者；受领者；接受器 | |
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