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Chapter 31 “Down Pens”
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“Have you written to thank the Froplinsons for what they sent us?” asked Egbert.

“No,” said Janetta, with a note of tired defiance1 in her voice; “I’ve written eleven letters today expressing surprise and gratitude2 for sundry3 unmerited gifts, but I haven’t written to the Froplinsons.”

“Some one will have to write to them,” said Egbert.

“I don’t dispute the necessity, but I don’t think the some one should be me,” said Janetta. “I wouldn’t mind writing a letter of angry recrimination or heartless satire4 to some suitable recipient5; in fact, I should rather enjoy it, but I’ve come to the end of my capacity for expressing servile amiability6. Eleven letters today and nine yesterday, all couched in the same strain of ecstatic thankfulness: really, you can’t expect me to sit down to another. There is such a thing as writing oneself out.”

“I’ve written nearly as many,” said Egbert, “and I’ve had my usual business correspondence to get through, too. Besides, I don’t know what it was that the Froplinsons sent us.”

“A William the Conqueror7 calendar,” said Janetta, “with a quotation8 of one of his great thoughts for every day in the year.”

“Impossible,” said Egbert; “he didn’t have three hundred and sixty-five thoughts in the whole of his life, or, if he did, he kept them to himself. He was a man of action, not of introspection.”

“Well, it was William Wordsworth, then,” said Janetta; “I know William came into it somewhere.”

“That sounds more probable,” said Egbert; “well, let’s collaborate9 on this letter of thanks and get it done. I’ll dictate10, and you can scribble11 it down. ‘Dear Mrs. Froplinson — thank you and your husband so much for the very pretty calendar you sent us. It was very good of you to think of us.’”

“You can’t possibly say that,” said Janetta, laying down her pen.

“It’s what I always do say, and what every one says to me,” protested Egbert.

“We sent them something on the twenty-second,” said Janetta, “so they simply had to think of us. There was no getting away from it.”

“What did we send them?” asked Egbert gloomily.

“Bridge-markers,” said Janetta, “in a cardboard case, with some inanity12 about ‘digging for fortune with a royal spade’ emblazoned on the cover. The moment I saw it in the shop I said to myself ‘Froplinsons’ and to the attendant ‘How much?’ When he said ‘Ninepence,’ I gave him their address, jabbed our card in, paid tenpence or elevenpence to cover the postage, and thanked heaven. With less sincerity13 and infinitely14 more trouble they eventually thanked me.”

“The Froplinsons don’t play bridge,” said Egbert.

“One is not supposed to notice social deformities of that sort,” said Janetta; “it wouldn’t be polite. Besides, what trouble did they take to find out whether we read Wordsworth with gladness? For all they knew or cared we might be frantically15 embedded16 in the belief that all poetry begins and ends with John Masefield, and it might infuriate or depress us to have a daily sample of Wordsworthian products flung at us.”

“Well, let’s get on with the letter of thanks,” said Egbert.

“Proceed,” said Janetta.

“‘How clever of you to guess that Wordsworth is our favourite poet,’” dictated17 Egbert.

Again Janetta laid down her pen.

“Do you realise what that means?” she asked; “a Wordsworth booklet next Christmas, and another calendar the Christmas after, with the same problem of having to write suitable letters of thankfulness. No, the best thing to do is to drop all further allusion18 to the calendar and switch off on to some other topic.”

“But what other topic?”

“Oh, something like this: ‘What do you think of the New Year Honours List? A friend of ours made such a clever remark when he read it.’ Then you can stick in any remark that comes into your head; it needn’t be clever. The Froplinsons won’t know whether it is or isn’t.”

“We don’t even know on which side they are in politics,” objected Egbert; “and anyhow you can’t suddenly dismiss the subject of the calendar. Surely there must be some intelligent remark that can be made about it.”

“Well, we can’t think of one,” said Janetta wearily; “the fact is, we’ve both written ourselves out. Heavens! I’ve just remembered Mrs. Stephen Ludberry. I haven’t thanked her for what she sent.”

“What did she send?”

“I forget; I think it was a calendar.”

There was a long silence, the forlorn silence of those who are bereft19 of hope and have almost ceased to care.

Presently Egbert started from his seat with an air of resolution. The light of battle was in his eyes.

“Let me come to the writing-table,” he exclaimed.

“Gladly,” said Janetta. “Are you going to write to Mrs. Ludberry or the Froplinsons?”

“To neither,” said Egbert, drawing a stack of notepaper towards him; “I’m going to write to the editor of every enlightened and influential20 newspaper in the Kingdom, I’m going to suggest that there should be a sort of epistolary Truce21 of God during the festivities of Christmas and New Year. From the twenty-fourth of December to the third or fourth of January it shall be considered an offence against good sense and good feeling to write or expect any letter or communication that does not deal with the necessary events of the moment. Answers to invitations, arrangements about trains, renewal22 of club subscriptions23, and, of course, all the ordinary everyday affairs of business, sickness, engaging new cooks, and so forth24, these will be dealt with in the usual manner as something inevitable25, a legitimate26 part of our daily life. But all the devastating27 accretions28 of correspondence, incident to the festive29 season, these should be swept away to give the season a chance of being really festive, a time of untroubled, unpunctuated peace and good will.”

“But you would have to make some acknowledgment of presents received,” objected Janetta; “otherwise people would never know whether they had arrived safely.”

“Of course, I have thought of that,” said Egbert; “every present that was sent off would be accompanied by a ticket bearing the date of dispatch and the signature of the sender, and some conventional hieroglyphic30 to show that it was intended to be a Christmas or New Year gift; there would be a counterfoil31 with space for the recipient’s name and the date of arrival, and all you would have to do would be to sign and date the counterfoil, add a conventional hieroglyphic indicating heartfelt thanks and gratified surprise, put the thing into an envelope and post it.”

“It sounds delightfully32 simple,” said Janetta wistfully, “but people would consider it too cut-and-dried, too perfunctory.”

“It is not a bit more perfunctory than the present system,” said Egbert; “I have only the same conventional language of gratitude at my disposal with which to thank dear old Colonel Chuttle for his perfectly33 delicious Stilton, which we shall devour34 to the last morsel35, and the Froplinsons for their calendar, which we shall never look at. Colonel Chuttle knows that we are grateful for the Stilton, without having to be told so, and the Froplinsons know that we are bored with their calendar, whatever we may say to the contrary, just as we know that they are bored with the bridge-markers in spite of their written assurance that they thanked us for our charming little gift. What is more, the Colonel knows that even if we had taken a sudden aversion to Stilton or been forbidden it by the doctor, we should still have written a letter of hearty36 thanks around it. So you see the present system of acknowledgment is just as perfunctory and conventional as the counterfoil business would be, only ten times more tiresome37 and brain-racking.”

“Your plan would certainly bring the ideal of a Happy Christmas a step nearer realisation,” said Janetta.

“There are exceptions, of course,” said Egbert, “people who really try to infuse a breath of reality into their letters of acknowledgment. Aunt Susan, for instance, who writes: ‘Thank you very much for the ham; not such a good flavour as the one you sent last year, which itself was not a particularly good one. Hams are not what they used to be.’ It would be a pity to be deprived of her Christmas comments, but that loss would be swallowed up in the general gain.”

“Meanwhile,” said Janetta, “what am I to say to the Froplinsons?”


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 defiance RmSzx     
n.挑战,挑衅,蔑视,违抗
参考例句:
  • He climbed the ladder in defiance of the warning.他无视警告爬上了那架梯子。
  • He slammed the door in a spirit of defiance.他以挑衅性的态度把门砰地一下关上。
2 gratitude p6wyS     
adj.感激,感谢
参考例句:
  • I have expressed the depth of my gratitude to him.我向他表示了深切的谢意。
  • She could not help her tears of gratitude rolling down her face.她感激的泪珠禁不住沿着面颊流了下来。
3 sundry CswwL     
adj.各式各样的,种种的
参考例句:
  • This cream can be used to treat sundry minor injuries.这种药膏可用来治各种轻伤。
  • We can see the rich man on sundry occasions.我们能在各种场合见到那个富豪。
4 satire BCtzM     
n.讽刺,讽刺文学,讽刺作品
参考例句:
  • The movie is a clever satire on the advertising industry.那部影片是关于广告业的一部巧妙的讽刺作品。
  • Satire is often a form of protest against injustice.讽刺往往是一种对不公正的抗议形式。
5 recipient QA8zF     
a.接受的,感受性强的 n.接受者,感受者,容器
参考例句:
  • Please check that you have a valid email certificate for each recipient. 请检查是否对每个接收者都有有效的电子邮件证书。
  • Colombia is the biggest U . S aid recipient in Latin America. 哥伦比亚是美国在拉丁美洲最大的援助对象。
6 amiability e665b35f160dba0dedc4c13e04c87c32     
n.和蔼可亲的,亲切的,友善的
参考例句:
  • His amiability condemns him to being a constant advisor to other people's troubles. 他那和蔼可亲的性格使他成为经常为他人排忧解难的开导者。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • I watched my master's face pass from amiability to sternness. 我瞧着老师的脸上从和蔼变成严峻。 来自辞典例句
7 conqueror PY3yI     
n.征服者,胜利者
参考例句:
  • We shall never yield to a conqueror.我们永远不会向征服者低头。
  • They abandoned the city to the conqueror.他们把那个城市丢弃给征服者。
8 quotation 7S6xV     
n.引文,引语,语录;报价,牌价,行情
参考例句:
  • He finished his speech with a quotation from Shakespeare.他讲话结束时引用了莎士比亚的语录。
  • The quotation is omitted here.此处引文从略。
9 collaborate SWgyC     
vi.协作,合作;协调
参考例句:
  • The work gets done more quickly when we collaborate.我们一旦合作,工作做起来就更快了。
  • I would ask you to collaborate with us in this work.我们愿意请你们在这项工作中和我们合作。
10 dictate fvGxN     
v.口授;(使)听写;指令,指示,命令
参考例句:
  • It took him a long time to dictate this letter.口述这封信花了他很长时间。
  • What right have you to dictate to others?你有什么资格向别人发号施令?
11 scribble FDxyY     
v.潦草地书写,乱写,滥写;n.潦草的写法,潦草写成的东西,杂文
参考例句:
  • She can't write yet,but she loves to scribble with a pencil.她现在还不会写字,但她喜欢用铅笔乱涂。
  • I can't read this scribble.我看不懂这种潦草的字。
12 inanity O4Lyd     
n.无意义,无聊
参考例句:
  • Their statement was a downright inanity.他们的声明是彻头彻尾的废话。
  • I laugh all alone at my complete inanity.十分无聊时,我就独自大笑。
13 sincerity zyZwY     
n.真诚,诚意;真实
参考例句:
  • His sincerity added much more authority to the story.他的真诚更增加了故事的说服力。
  • He tried hard to satisfy me of his sincerity.他竭力让我了解他的诚意。
14 infinitely 0qhz2I     
adv.无限地,无穷地
参考例句:
  • There is an infinitely bright future ahead of us.我们有无限光明的前途。
  • The universe is infinitely large.宇宙是无限大的。
15 frantically ui9xL     
ad.发狂地, 发疯地
参考例句:
  • He dashed frantically across the road. 他疯狂地跑过马路。
  • She bid frantically for the old chair. 她发狂地喊出高价要买那把古老的椅子。
16 embedded lt9ztS     
a.扎牢的
参考例句:
  • an operation to remove glass that was embedded in his leg 取出扎入他腿部玻璃的手术
  • He has embedded his name in the minds of millions of people. 他的名字铭刻在数百万人民心中。
17 dictated aa4dc65f69c81352fa034c36d66908ec     
v.大声讲或读( dictate的过去式和过去分词 );口授;支配;摆布
参考例句:
  • He dictated a letter to his secretary. 他向秘书口授信稿。
  • No person of a strong character likes to be dictated to. 没有一个个性强的人愿受人使唤。 来自《简明英汉词典》
18 allusion CfnyW     
n.暗示,间接提示
参考例句:
  • He made an allusion to a secret plan in his speech.在讲话中他暗示有一项秘密计划。
  • She made no allusion to the incident.她没有提及那个事件。
19 bereft ndjy9     
adj.被剥夺的
参考例句:
  • The place seemed to be utterly bereft of human life.这个地方似乎根本没有人烟。
  • She was bereft of happiness.她失去了幸福。
20 influential l7oxK     
adj.有影响的,有权势的
参考例句:
  • He always tries to get in with the most influential people.他总是试图巴结最有影响的人物。
  • He is a very influential man in the government.他在政府中是个很有影响的人物。
21 truce EK8zr     
n.休战,(争执,烦恼等的)缓和;v.以停战结束
参考例句:
  • The hot weather gave the old man a truce from rheumatism.热天使这位老人暂时免受风湿病之苦。
  • She had thought of flying out to breathe the fresh air in an interval of truce.她想跑出去呼吸一下休战期间的新鲜空气。
22 renewal UtZyW     
adj.(契约)延期,续订,更新,复活,重来
参考例句:
  • Her contract is coming up for renewal in the autumn.她的合同秋天就应该续签了。
  • Easter eggs symbolize the renewal of life.复活蛋象征新生。
23 subscriptions 2d5d14f95af035cbd8437948de61f94c     
n.(报刊等的)订阅费( subscription的名词复数 );捐款;(俱乐部的)会员费;捐助
参考例句:
  • Subscriptions to these magazines can be paid in at the post office. 这些杂志的订阅费可以在邮局缴纳。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Payment of subscriptions should be made to the club secretary. 会费应交给俱乐部秘书。 来自《简明英汉词典》
24 forth Hzdz2     
adv.向前;向外,往外
参考例句:
  • The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
  • He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。
25 inevitable 5xcyq     
adj.不可避免的,必然发生的
参考例句:
  • Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。
  • The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。
26 legitimate L9ZzJ     
adj.合法的,合理的,合乎逻辑的;v.使合法
参考例句:
  • Sickness is a legitimate reason for asking for leave.生病是请假的一个正当的理由。
  • That's a perfectly legitimate fear.怀有这种恐惧完全在情理之中。
27 devastating muOzlG     
adj.毁灭性的,令人震惊的,强有力的
参考例句:
  • It is the most devastating storm in 20 years.这是20年来破坏性最大的风暴。
  • Affairs do have a devastating effect on marriages.婚外情确实会对婚姻造成毁灭性的影响。
28 accretions 87270ff9e16bfe5cff15f0f4a47cbfb0     
n.堆积( accretion的名词复数 );连生;添加生长;吸积
参考例句:
  • The script has been gathering editorial accretions for years. 多年来该剧本一直在修改。 来自辞典例句
  • He scraped away the accretions of paint. 他刮掉了漆层。 来自互联网
29 festive mkBx5     
adj.欢宴的,节日的
参考例句:
  • It was Christmas and everyone was in festive mood.当时是圣诞节,每个人都沉浸在节日的欢乐中。
  • We all wore festive costumes to the ball.我们都穿着节日的盛装前去参加舞会。
30 hieroglyphic 5dKxO     
n.象形文字
参考例句:
  • For centuries hieroglyphic word pictures painted on Egyptian ruins were a mystery.几世纪以来,刻划在埃及废墟中的象形文字一直是个谜。
  • Dongba is an ancient hieroglyphic language.东巴文是中国一种古老的象形文字。
31 counterfoil voNz7     
n.(支票、邮局汇款单、收据等的)存根,票根
参考例句:
  • I think money is a counterfoil all the time,in should putting in a society.我一直认为钱就是一把票根,应该投放到社会中去。
  • She always keeps the counterfoils.她总是保留着各种票根。
32 delightfully f0fe7d605b75a4c00aae2f25714e3131     
大喜,欣然
参考例句:
  • The room is delightfully appointed. 这房子的设备令人舒适愉快。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • The evening is delightfully cool. 晚间凉爽宜人。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
33 perfectly 8Mzxb     
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
  • Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。
34 devour hlezt     
v.吞没;贪婪地注视或谛听,贪读;使着迷
参考例句:
  • Larger fish devour the smaller ones.大鱼吃小鱼。
  • Beauty is but a flower which wrinkle will devour.美只不过是一朵,终会被皱纹所吞噬。
35 morsel Q14y4     
n.一口,一点点
参考例句:
  • He refused to touch a morsel of the food they had brought.他们拿来的东西他一口也不吃。
  • The patient has not had a morsel of food since the morning.从早上起病人一直没有进食。
36 hearty Od1zn     
adj.热情友好的;衷心的;尽情的,纵情的
参考例句:
  • After work they made a hearty meal in the worker's canteen.工作完了,他们在工人食堂饱餐了一顿。
  • We accorded him a hearty welcome.我们给他热忱的欢迎。
37 tiresome Kgty9     
adj.令人疲劳的,令人厌倦的
参考例句:
  • His doubts and hesitations were tiresome.他的疑惑和犹豫令人厌烦。
  • He was tiresome in contending for the value of his own labors.他老为他自己劳动的价值而争强斗胜,令人生厌。


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