Chapter 32 Snobbium Gatherum

WHEN I see the great effect which these papers are producing on an intelligent public, I have a strong hope that before long we shall have a regular Snob¹ department in the newspapers, just as we have the Police Courts and the Court News at present. When a flagrant case of bone-crushing or Poor-law abuse occurs in the world, who so eloquent² as THE TIMES to point it out? When a gross instance of Snobbishness³ happens, why should not the indignant journalist call the public attention to that delinquency too?

How, for instance, could that wonderful case of the Earl of Mangelwurzel and his brother be examined in the Snobbish⁴ point of view? Let alone the hectoring, the bullying⁵, the vapouring, the bad grammar, the mutual⁶ recriminations, lie-givings, challenges, retractations, which abound⁷ in the fraternal dispute — put out of the question these points as concerning the individual nobleman and his relative, with whose personal affairs we have nothing to do — and consider how intimately corrupt⁸, how habitually⁹ grovelling¹⁰ and mean, how entirely¹¹ Snobbish in a word, a whole county must be which can find no better chiefs or leaders than these two gentlemen. ‘We don’t want,’ the great county of Mangelwurzelshire seems to say, ‘that a man should be able to write good grammar; or that he should keep a Christian¹² tongue in his head; or that he should have the commonest decency¹³ of temper, or even a fair share of good sense, in order to represent us in Parliament.

All we require is, that a man should be recommended to us by the Earl of Mangelwurzelshire. And all that we require of the Earl of Mangelwurzelshire is that he should have fifty thousand a year and hunt the country.’ O you pride of all Snobland! O you crawling, truckling, self-confessed lackeys¹⁴ and parasites¹⁵!

But this is growing too savage¹⁶: don’t let us forget our usual amenity¹⁷, and that tone of playfulness and sentiment with which the beloved reader and writer have pursued their mutual reflections hitherto. Well, Snobbishness pervades¹⁸ the little Social Farce¹⁹ as well as the great State Comedy; and the self-same moral is tacked²⁰ to either.

There was, for instance, an account in the papers of a young lady who, misled by a fortune-teller, actually went part of the way to India (as far as Bagnigge Wells, I think,) in search of a husband who was promised her there. Do you suppose this poor deluded²¹ little soul would have left her shop for a man below her in rank, or for anything but a darling of a Captain in epaulets and a red coat. It was her Snobbish sentiment that misled her, and made her vanities a prey²² to the swindling fortune-teller.

Case 2 was that of Mademoiselle de Saugrenue, ‘the interesting young Frenchwoman with a profusion²³ of jetty ringlets,’ who lived for nothing at a boardinghouse at Gosport, was then conveyed to Fareham gratis²⁴: and being there, and lying on the bed of the good old lady her entertainer, the dear girl took occasion to rip open the mattress²⁵, and steal a cash-box, with which she fled to London. How would you account for the prodigious²⁶ benevolence²⁷ exercised towards the interesting young French lady? Was it her jetty ringlets or her charming face?— Bah! Do ladies love others for having faces and black hair?— she said SHE WAS A RELATION OF de Saugrenue: talked of her ladyship her aunt, and of herself as a De Saugrenue. The honest boarding-house people were at her feet at once. Good, honest, simple, lord-loving children of Snobland.

Finally, there was the case of ‘the Right Honourable²⁸ Mr. Vernon,’ at York. The Right Honourable was the son of a nobleman, and practised on an old lady. He procured²⁹ from her dinners, money, wearing-apparel, spoons, implicit³⁰ credence³¹, and an entire refit of linen³². Then he cast his nets over a family of father, mother, and daughters, one of whom he proposed to marry. The father lent him money, the mother made jams and pickles³³ for him, the daughters vied with each other in cooking dinners for the Right Honourable — and what was the end? One day the traitor³⁴ fled, with a teapot and a basketful of cold victuals³⁵. It was the ‘Right Honourable’ which baited the hook which gorged³⁶ all these greedy, simple Snobs³⁷. Would they have been taken in by a commoner? What old lady is there, my dear sir, who would take in you and me, were we ever so ill to do, and comfort us, and clothe us, and give us her money, and her silver forks? Alas³⁸ and alas! what mortal man that speaks the truth can hope for such a landlady³⁹? And yet, all these instances of fond and credulous⁴⁰ Snobbishness have occurred in the same week’s paper, with who knows how many score more?

Just as we had concluded the above remarks comes a pretty little note sealed with a pretty little butterfly — bearing a northern postmark — and to the following effect:—

‘19th November.

‘Mr. Punch,—‘Taking great interest in your Snob Papers, we are very anxious to know under what class of that respectable fraternity you would designate us.

‘We are three sisters, from seventeen to twenty-two. Our father is HONESTLY AND TRULY of a very good family (you will say it is Snobbish to mention that, but I wish to state the plain fact); our maternal⁴¹ grandfather was an Earl.’ (1)

‘We CAN afford to take in a stamped edition of YOU, and all Dickens’ works as fast as they come out, but we do NOT keep such a thing as a PEERAGE or even a BARONETAGE in the house.

‘We live with every comfort, excellent cellar, &c. &c.; but as we cannot well afford a butler, we have a neat table-maid (though our father was a military man, has travelled much, been in the best society, &c.) We HAVE a coachman and helper, but we don’t put the latter into buttons, nor make them wait at table, like Stripes and Tummus.’ (2)

‘We are just the same to persons with a handle to their name as to those without it. We wear a moderate modicum⁴² of crinoline, (3)and are never limp (4) in the morning. We have good and abundant dinners on CHINA though we have plate (5), and just as good when alone as with company.

‘Now, my dear MR. PUNCH, will you PLEASE give us a short answer in your next number, and I will be SO much obliged to you. Nobody knows we are writing to you, not even our father; nor will we ever tease (6) you again if you will only give us an answer — just for FUN, now do!

‘If you get as far as this, which is doubtful, you will probably fling it into the fire. If you do, I cannot help it; but I am of a sanguine⁴³ disposition⁴⁴, and entertain a lingering hope. At all events, I shall be impatient for next Sunday, for you reach us on that day, and I am ashamed to confess, we CANNOT resist opening you in the carriage driving home from church. (7)

‘I remain, &c. &c., for myself and sisters.

Excuse this scrawl⁴⁵, but I always write headlong. (8)

‘P. S.— You were rather stupid last week, don’t you think? (9) We keep no gamekeeper, and yet have always abundant game for friends to shoot, in spite of the poachers. We never write on perfumed paper — in short, I can’t help thinking that if you knew us you would not think us Snobs.’

To this I reply in the following manner:—‘My dear young ladies, I know your post-town: and shall be at church there the Sunday AFTER next; when, will you please to wear a tulip or some little trifle in your bonnets⁴⁶, so that I may know you? You will recognize me and my dress — a quiet-looking young fellow, in a white top-coat, a crimson⁴⁷ satin neckcloth, light blue trousers, with glossy⁴⁸ tipped boots, and an emerald breast-pin. I shall have a black crape round my white hat; and my usual bamboo cane⁴⁹ with the richly-gilt knob. I am sorry there will be no time to get up moustaches between now and next week.

‘From seventeen to two-and-twenty! Ye gods! what ages! Dear young creatures, I can see you all three. Seventeen suits me, as nearest my own time of life; but mind, I don’t say two-and-twenty is too old. No, no. And that pretty, roguish, demure⁵⁰, middle one. Peace, peace, thou silly little fluttering heart!

‘YOU Snobs, dear young ladies! I will pull any man’s nose who says so. There is no harm in being of a good family. You can’t help it, poor dears. What’s in a name? What is in a handle to it? I confess openly that I should not object to being a Duke myself; and between ourselves you might see a worse leg for a garter.

‘YOU Snobs, dear little good-natured things, no that is, I hope not — I think not — I won’t be too confident — none of us should be — that we are not Snobs. That very confidence savours of arrogance⁵¹, and to be arrogant⁵² is to be a Snob. In all the social gradations from sneak⁵³ to tyrant⁵⁴, nature has placed a most wondrous⁵⁵ and various progeny⁵⁶ of Snobs. But are there no kindly⁵⁷ natures, no tender hearts, no souls humble⁵⁸, simple, and truth-loving? Ponder well on this question, sweet young ladies. And if you can answer it, as no doubt you can — lucky are you — and lucky the respected Herr Papa, and lucky the three handsome young gentlemen who are about to become each others’ brothers-inlaw.’

(1) The introduction of Grandpapa, is I fear, Snobbish.

(2) That is, as you like. I don’t object to buttons in moderation.

(3) Quite right.

(4) Bless you!

(5) Snobbish; and I doubt whether you ought to dine as well alone as with company. You will be getting too good dinners.

(6) We like to be teased; but tell Papa.

(7) O garters and stars! what will Captain Gordon and Exeter Hall say to this?

(8) Dear little enthusiast⁵⁹!

(9) You were never more mistaken, miss, in your life.

1 snob   

n.势利小人，自以为高雅、有学问的人

参考例句：

• Going to a private school had made her a snob.上私立学校后，她变得很势利。
• If you think that way, you are a snob already.如果你那样想的话，你已经是势利小人了。

2 eloquent   

adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的

参考例句：

• He was so eloquent that he cut down the finest orator.他能言善辩，胜过最好的演说家。
• These ruins are an eloquent reminder of the horrors of war.这些废墟形象地提醒人们不要忘记战争的恐怖。

3 snobbishness   

势利； 势利眼

参考例句：

• We disdain a man for his snobbishness. 我们鄙夷势利小人。
• Maybe you have social faults such as snobbishness, talkativeness, and, etc. which drive away new acquaintances. 也许你有社交方面的缺点，诸如势利、饶舌、出语粗俗等，使你的新相识退避三舍。

4 snobbish   

adj.势利的，谄上欺下的

参考例句：

• She's much too snobbish to stay at that plain hotel.她很势利，不愿住在那个普通旅馆。
• I'd expected her to be snobbish but she was warm and friendly.我原以为她会非常势利，但她却非常热情和友好。

5 bullying   

v.恐吓，威逼( bully的现在分词 )；豪；跋扈

参考例句：

• Many cases of bullying go unreported . 很多恐吓案件都没有人告发。
• All cases of bullying will be severely dealt with. 所有以大欺小的情况都将受到严肃处理。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 mutual   

adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的

参考例句：

• We must pull together for mutual interest.我们必须为相互的利益而通力合作。
• Mutual interests tied us together.相互的利害关系把我们联系在一起。

7 abound   

vi.大量存在；(in，with)充满，富于

参考例句：

• Oranges abound here all the year round.这里一年到头都有很多橙子。
• But problems abound in the management of State-owned companies.但是在国有企业的管理中仍然存在不少问题。

8 corrupt   

v.贿赂，收买；adj.腐败的，贪污的

参考例句：

• The newspaper alleged the mayor's corrupt practices.那家报纸断言市长有舞弊行为。
• This judge is corrupt.这个法官贪污。

9 habitually   

ad.习惯地，通常地

参考例句：

• The pain of the disease caused him habitually to furrow his brow. 病痛使他习惯性地紧皱眉头。
• Habitually obedient to John, I came up to his chair. 我已经习惯于服从约翰，我来到他的椅子跟前。

10 grovelling   

adj.卑下的，奴颜婢膝的v.卑躬屈节，奴颜婢膝( grovel的现在分词 )；趴

参考例句：

• Can a policeman possibly enjoy grovelling in the dirty side of human behaivour? 一个警察成天和人类行为的丑恶面打交道，能感到津津有味吗？ 来自互联网

11 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

12 Christian   

adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒

参考例句：

• They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
• His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。

13 decency   

n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重

参考例句：

• His sense of decency and fair play made him refuse the offer.他的正直感和公平竞争意识使他拒绝了这一提议。
• Your behaviour is an affront to public decency.你的行为有伤风化。

14 lackeys   

n.听差( lackey的名词复数 )；男仆（通常穿制服）；卑躬屈膝的人；被待为奴仆的人

参考例句：

• When the boss falls from power, his lackeys disperse. 树倒猢狲散。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• The singer was surrounded by the usual crowd of lackeys and hangers on. 那个歌手让那帮总是溜须拍马、前呼後拥的人给围住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

15 parasites   

寄生物( parasite的名词复数 )； 靠他人为生的人； 诸虫

参考例句：

• These symptoms may be referable to virus infection rather than parasites. 这些症状也许是由病毒感染引起的，而与寄生虫无关。
• Kangaroos harbor a vast range of parasites. 袋鼠身上有各种各样的寄生虫。

16 savage   

adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人

参考例句：

• The poor man received a savage beating from the thugs.那可怜的人遭到暴徒的痛打。
• He has a savage temper.他脾气粗暴。

17 amenity   

n.pl.生活福利设施，文娱康乐场所；（不可数）愉快，适意

参考例句：

• The amenity of his manners won him many friends.他和悦的态度替他赢得很多朋友。
• Teachers' good amenity and culture have important educational value.教师良好的礼仪修养具有重要的教育价值。

18 pervades   

v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• An unpleasant smell pervades the house. 一种难闻的气味弥漫了全屋。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• An atmosphere of pessimism pervades the economy. 悲观的气氛笼罩着整个经济。 来自辞典例句

19 farce   

n.闹剧，笑剧，滑稽戏；胡闹

参考例句：

• They played a shameful role in this farce.他们在这场闹剧中扮演了可耻的角色。
• The audience roared at the farce.闹剧使观众哄堂大笑。

20 tacked   

用平头钉钉( tack的过去式和过去分词 )； 附加，增补； 帆船抢风行驶，用粗线脚缝

参考例句：

• He tacked the sheets of paper on as carefully as possible. 他尽量小心地把纸张钉上去。
• The seamstress tacked the two pieces of cloth. 女裁缝把那两块布粗缝了起来。

21 deluded   

v.欺骗，哄骗( delude的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Don't be deluded into thinking that we are out of danger yet. 不要误以为我们已脱离危险。
• She deluded everyone into following her. 她骗得每个人都听信她的。 来自《简明英汉词典》

22 prey   

n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨

参考例句：

• Stronger animals prey on weaker ones.弱肉强食。
• The lion was hunting for its prey.狮子在寻找猎物。

23 profusion   

n.挥霍；丰富

参考例句：

• He is liberal to profusion.他挥霍无度。
• The leaves are falling in profusion.落叶纷纷。

24 gratis   

adj.免费的

参考例句：

• David gives the first consultation gratis.戴维免费提供初次咨询。
• The service was gratis to graduates.这项服务对毕业生是免费的。

25 mattress   

n.床垫，床褥

参考例句：

• The straw mattress needs to be aired.草垫子该晾一晾了。
• The new mattress I bought sags in the middle.我买的新床垫中间陷了下去。

26 prodigious   

adj.惊人的，奇妙的；异常的；巨大的；庞大的

参考例句：

• This business generates cash in prodigious amounts.这种业务收益丰厚。
• He impressed all who met him with his prodigious memory.他惊人的记忆力让所有见过他的人都印象深刻。

27 benevolence   

n.慈悲，捐助

参考例句：

• We definitely do not apply a policy of benevolence to the reactionaries.我们对反动派决不施仁政。
• He did it out of pure benevolence. 他做那件事完全出于善意。

28 honourable   

adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的

参考例句：

• I don't think I am worthy of such an honourable title.这样的光荣称号，我可担当不起。
• I hope to find an honourable way of settling difficulties.我希望设法找到一个体面的办法以摆脱困境。

29 procured   

v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条

参考例句：

• These cars are to be procured through open tender. 这些汽车要用公开招标的办法购买。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• A friend procured a position in the bank for my big brother. 一位朋友为我哥哥谋得了一个银行的职位。 来自《用法词典》

30 implicit   

a.暗示的，含蓄的，不明晰的，绝对的

参考例句：

• A soldier must give implicit obedience to his officers. 士兵必须绝对服从他的长官。
• Her silence gave implicit consent. 她的沉默表示默许。

31 credence   

n.信用，祭器台，供桌，凭证

参考例句：

• Don't give credence to all the gossip you hear.不要相信你听到的闲话。
• Police attach credence to the report of an unnamed bystander.警方认为一位不知姓名的目击者的报告很有用。

32 linen   

n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的

参考例句：

• The worker is starching the linen.这名工人正在给亚麻布上浆。
• Fine linen and cotton fabrics were known as well as wool.精细的亚麻织品和棉织品像羊毛一样闻名遐迩。

33 pickles   

n.腌菜( pickle的名词复数 )；处于困境；遇到麻烦；菜酱

参考例句：

• Most people eat pickles at breakfast. 大多数人早餐吃腌菜。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I want their pickles and wines, and that.' 我要他们的泡菜、美酒和所有其他东西。” 来自英汉文学 - 金银岛

34 traitor   

n.叛徒，卖国贼

参考例句：

• The traitor was finally found out and put in prison.那个卖国贼终于被人发现并被监禁了起来。
• He was sold out by a traitor and arrested.他被叛徒出卖而被捕了。

35 victuals   

n.食物；食品

参考例句：

• A plateful of coarse broken victuals was set before him.一盘粗劣的剩余饭食放到了他的面前。
• There are no more victuals for the pig.猪没有吃的啦。

36 gorged   

v.（用食物把自己）塞饱，填饱( gorge的过去式和过去分词 )；作呕

参考例句：

• He gorged himself at the party. 在宴会上他狼吞虎咽地把自己塞饱。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The men, gorged with food, had unbuttoned their vests. 那些男人，吃得直打饱嗝，解开了背心的钮扣。 来自辞典例句

37 snobs   

（谄上傲下的）势利小人( snob的名词复数 )； 自高自大者，自命不凡者

参考例句：

• She dislikes snobs intensely. 她极其厌恶势利小人。
• Most of the people who worshipped her, who read every tidbit about her in the gossip press and hung up pictures of her in their rooms, were not social snobs. 崇敬她大多数的人不会放过每一篇报导她的八卦新闻，甚至在他们的房间中悬挂黛妃的画像，这些人并非都是傲慢成性。

38 alas   

int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等)

参考例句：

• Alas!The window is broken!哎呀！窗子破了！
• Alas,the truth is less romantic.然而，真理很少带有浪漫色彩。

39 landlady   

n.女房东，女地主

参考例句：

• I heard my landlady creeping stealthily up to my door.我听到我的女房东偷偷地来到我的门前。
• The landlady came over to serve me.女店主过来接待我。

40 credulous   

adj.轻信的，易信的

参考例句：

• You must be credulous if she fooled you with that story.连她那种话都能把你骗倒，你一定是太容易相信别人了。
• Credulous attitude will only make you take anything for granted.轻信的态度只会使你想当然。

41 maternal   

adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的

参考例句：

• He is my maternal uncle.他是我舅舅。
• The sight of the hopeless little boy aroused her maternal instincts.那个绝望的小男孩的模样唤起了她的母性。

42 modicum   

n.少量，一小份

参考例句：

• If he had a modicum of sense,he wouldn't do such a foolish thing.要是他稍有一点理智，他决不会做出如此愚蠢的事来。
• There's not even a modicum of truth in her statement.她说的话没有一点是真的。

43 sanguine   

adj.充满希望的，乐观的，血红色的

参考例句：

• He has a sanguine attitude to life.他对于人生有乐观的看法。
• He is not very sanguine about our chances of success.他对我们成功的机会不太乐观。

44 disposition   

n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署

参考例句：

• He has made a good disposition of his property.他已对财产作了妥善处理。
• He has a cheerful disposition.他性情开朗。

45 scrawl   

vt.潦草地书写；n.潦草的笔记，涂写

参考例句：

• His signature was an illegible scrawl.他的签名潦草难以辨认。
• Your beautiful handwriting puts my untidy scrawl to shame.你漂亮的字体把我的潦草字迹比得见不得人。

46 bonnets   

n.童帽( bonnet的名词复数 )；（烟囱等的）覆盖物；（苏格兰男子的）无边呢帽；（女子戴的）任何一种帽子

参考例句：

• All the best bonnets of the city were there. 城里戴最漂亮的无边女帽的妇女全都到场了。 来自辞典例句
• I am tempting you with bonnets and bangles and leading you into a pit. 我是在用帽子和镯子引诱你，引你上钩。 来自飘（部分）

47 crimson   

n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色

参考例句：

• She went crimson with embarrassment.她羞得满脸通红。
• Maple leaves have turned crimson.枫叶已经红了。

48 glossy   

adj.平滑的；有光泽的

参考例句：

• I like these glossy spots.我喜欢这些闪闪发光的花点。
• She had glossy black hair.她长着乌黑发亮的头发。

49 cane   

n.手杖，细长的茎，藤条；v.以杖击，以藤编制的

参考例句：

• This sugar cane is quite a sweet and juicy.这甘蔗既甜又多汁。
• English schoolmasters used to cane the boys as a punishment.英国小学老师过去常用教鞭打男学生作为惩罚。

50 demure   

adj.严肃的；端庄的

参考例句：

• She's very demure and sweet.她非常娴静可爱。
• The luscious Miss Wharton gave me a demure but knowing smile.性感迷人的沃顿小姐对我羞涩地会心一笑。

51 arrogance   

n.傲慢，自大

参考例句：

• His arrogance comes out in every speech he makes.他每次讲话都表现得骄傲自大。
• Arrogance arrested his progress.骄傲阻碍了他的进步。

52 arrogant   

adj.傲慢的，自大的

参考例句：

• You've got to get rid of your arrogant ways.你这骄傲劲儿得好好改改。
• People are waking up that he is arrogant.人们开始认识到他很傲慢。

53 sneak   

vt.潜行(隐藏,填石缝)；偷偷摸摸做；n.潜行；adj.暗中进行

参考例句：

• He raised his spear and sneak forward.他提起长矛悄悄地前进。
• I saw him sneak away from us.我看见他悄悄地从我们身边走开。

54 tyrant   

n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人

参考例句：

• The country was ruled by a despotic tyrant.该国处在一个专制暴君的统治之下。
• The tyrant was deaf to the entreaties of the slaves.暴君听不到奴隶们的哀鸣。

55 wondrous   

adj.令人惊奇的，奇妙的；adv.惊人地；异乎寻常地；令人惊叹地

参考例句：

• The internal structure of the Department is wondrous to behold.看一下国务院的内部结构是很有意思的。
• We were driven across this wondrous vast land of lakes and forests.我们乘车穿越这片有着湖泊及森林的广袤而神奇的土地。

56 progeny   

n.后代，子孙；结果

参考例句：

• His numerous progeny are scattered all over the country.他为数众多的后代散布在全国各地。
• He was surrounded by his numerous progeny.众多的子孙簇拥着他。

57 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。

58 humble   

adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低

参考例句：

• In my humble opinion,he will win the election.依我拙见，他将在选举中获胜。
• Defeat and failure make people humble.挫折与失败会使人谦卑。

59 enthusiast   

n.热心人，热衷者

参考例句：

• He is an enthusiast about politics.他是个热衷于政治的人。
• He was an enthusiast and loved to evoke enthusiasm in others.他是一个激情昂扬的人，也热中于唤起他人心中的激情。