GRIEVED at this separation, Mr. Tyrold retired1 to his study; and his two daughters went to the apartment of Lionel, to comfort him under the weight of his misconduct.
They found him sincerely affected2 and repentant3; yet eager to hear that his mother was actually gone. Ill as he felt himself to deserve such an exertion4 for his future welfare, and poignant5 as were his shame and sorrow to have parted her from his excellent father, he thought all evil preferable to encountering her eye, or listening to her admonitions.
Though unaffectedly beloved, Mrs. Tyrold was deeply feared by all her children, Camilla alone excepted; by Lionel, from his horror of reproof6; by Lavinia, from the timidity of her humility7; and by Eugenia, from her high sense of parental8 superiority. Camilla alone escaped the contagion9; for while too innocent, too undesigning, wilfully10 to excite displeasure, she was too gay and too light-hearted to admit apprehension12 without cause.
The gentle Lavinia knew not how to perform her painful task of delivering the message with which she was commissioned. The sight of Lionel in dejection was as sad as it was new to her, and she resolved, in conjunction with Camilla, to spare him till the next day, when his feelings might be less acute. They each sat down, therefore, to work, silent and compassionate13; while he, ejaculating blessings14 upon his parents, and calling for just vengeance15 upon himself, stroamed up and down the room, biting his knuckles16, and now and then striking his forehead.
This lasted about ten minutes: and then, suddenly advancing to his sisters, and snatching a hand of each: ‘Come, girls,’ he cried, now let’s talk of other things.’
Too young to have developed the character of Lionel, they were again as much astonished as they had been the preceding day: but his defects, though not originally of the heart, were of a species that soon tend to harden it. They had their rise in a total aversion to reflection, a wish to distinguish himself from his retired, and, he thought, unfashionable relations, and an unfortunate coalition17 with some unprincipled young men, who, because flashy and gay, could lead him to whatever they proposed. Yet, when mischief18 or misfortune ensued from his wanton faults, he was always far more sorry than he thought it manly19 to own; but as his actions were without judgment20, his repentance21 was without principle; and he was ready for some new enterprise the moment the difficulties of an old one subsided22.
Camilla, who, from her affection to him, read his character through the innocence23 of her own, met his returning gaiety with a pleasure that was proportioned to her pain at his depression; but Lavinia saw it with discomfort24, as the signal for executing her charge, and, with extreme reluctance25, gave him to understand she had a command to fulfil to him from his mother.
The powers of conscience were again then instantly at work; he felt what he had deserved, he dreaded26 to hear what he had provoked; and trembling and drawing back, entreated27 her to wait one half hour before she entered upon the business.
She chearfully consented; and Camilla proposed extending the reprieve28 to the next day: but not two minutes elapsed, before Lionel protested he could not bear the suspense29, and urged an immediate30 communication.
‘She can have said nothing,’ cried he, ‘worse than I expect, or than I merit. Probe me then without delay. She is acting31 by me like an angel, and if she were to command me to turn anchoret, I know I ought to obey her.’
With much hesitation32, Lavinia then began. ‘My mother says, my dear Lionel, the fraud you have practised —’
‘The fraud! what a horrid33 word! why it was a mere34 trick! A joke! a frolic! just to make an old hunks open his purse-strings for his natural heir. I am astonished at my mother! I really don’t care if I don’t hear another syllable35.’
‘Well, then, my dear Lionel, I will wait till you are calmer: my mother, I am sure did not mean to irritate, but to convince.’
‘My mother,’ continued he, striding about the room, ‘makes no allowances. She has no faults herself, and for that reason she thinks nobody else should have any. Besides, how should she know what it is to be a young man? and to want a little cash, and not know how to get it?’
‘But I am sure,’ said Lavinia, ‘if you wanted it for any proper purpose, my father would have denied himself everything, in order to supply you.’
‘Yes, yes; but suppose I want it for a purpose that is not proper, how am I to get it then?’
‘Why, then, my dear Lionel, surely you must be sensible you ought to go without it,’ cried the sisters, in a breath.
‘Ay, that’s as you girls say, that know nothing of the matter. If a young man, when he goes into the world, was to make such a speech as that, he would be pointed36 at. Besides, who must he live with? You don’t suppose he is to shut himself up, with a few musty books, sleeping over the fire, under pretence37 of study, all day long, do you? like young Melmond, who knows no more of the world than one of you do?’
‘Indeed,’ said Camilla, ‘he seemed to me an amiable38 and modest young man, though very romantic.’
‘O, I dare say he did! I could have laid any wager39 of that. He’s just a girl’s man, just the very thing, all sentiment, and poetry and heroics. But we, my little dear, we lads of spirit, hold all that amazing cheap. I assure you, I would as soon be seen trying on a lady’s cap at a glass, as poring over a crazy old author when I could help it. I warrant you think, because one is at the university, one must all be book-worms?’
‘Why, what else do you go there for but to study?’
‘Every thing in the world, my dear.’
‘But are there not sometimes young men who are scholars without being book-worms?’ cried Camilla, half colouring; ‘is not-is not Edgar Mandlebert —’
‘O yes, yes; an odd thing of that sort happens now and then. Mandlebert has spirit enough to carry it off pretty well, without being ridiculous; though he is as deep, for his time, as e’er an old fellow of a college. But then this is no rule for others. You must not expect an Edgar Mandlebert at every turn.’
Ah no! thought Camilla.
‘But, Edgar,’ said Lavinia, ‘has had an extraordinary education, as well as possessing extraordinary talents and goodness: and you, too, my dear Lionel, to fulfil what may be expected from you, should look back to your father, who was brought up at the same university, and is now considered as one of the first men it has produced. While he was respected by the learned for his application, he was loved even by the indolent for his candour and kindness of heart. And though his income, as you know, was so small, he never ran in debt, and by an exact but open oeconomy, escaped all imputation40 of meanness: while by forbearing either to conceal41, or repine at his limited fortune, he blunted even the raillery of the dissipated, by frankly42 and good humouredly meeting it half way. How often have I heard my dear mother tell you this!’
‘Yes; but all this, child, is nothing to the purpose; my father is no more like other men than if he had been born in another planet, and my attempting to resemble him, is as great a joke, as if you were to dress up Miss Margland in Indiana’s flowers and feathers, and then expect people to call her a beauty.’
‘We do not say you resemble my father, now,’ said Camilla, archly; ‘but is there any reason why you should not try to do it by and by?’
‘O yes! A little one! Nature, nature, my dear, is in the way. I was born a bit of a buck43. I have no manner of natural taste for study, and poring, and expounding44, and black-letter work. I am a light, airy spark, at your service, not quite so wise as I am merry;-but let that pass. My father, you know, is firm as a rock. He minds neither wind nor weather, nor fleerer nor sneerer45: but this firmness, look ye, he has kept all to himself; not a whit46 of it do I inherit–, every wind that blows veers47 me about, and makes me look some new way.’
Soon after, gathering48 courage from curiosity, he desired to hear the message at once.
Lavinia, unwillingly49 complying, then repeated: ‘The fraud which you have practised, my mother says, whether from wanton folly50 to give pain, or from rapacious51 discontent to gain money, she will leave without comment, satisfied that if you have any heart at all, its effects must bring its remorse52, since it has dangerously encreased the infirmities of your uncle, driven him to a foreign land, and forced your mother to forsake53 her home and family in his pursuit, unless she were willing to see you punished by the entire disinheritance with which you are threatened. But —’
‘O, no more! no more! I am ready to shoot myself already! My dear, excellent mother! what do I not owe you! I had never seen, never thought of the business in this solemn way before. I meant nothing at first but a silly joke, and all this mischief has followed unaccountably. I assure you, I had no notion at the beginning he would have minded the letter; and afterwards, Jack54 Whiston persuaded me, the money was as good as my own, and that it was nothing but a little cribbing from myself. I will never trust him again; I see the whole now in its true and atrocious colours.–I will devote myself in future to make all the amends55 in my power to my dear incomparable mother.’
The sisters affectionately encouraged this idea, which produced near a quarter of an hour’s serious thinking and penitence56.
He then begged to hear the rest; and Lavinia continued.
‘But since you are re-admitted, said my mother, to Etherington, by the clemency57 of your forbearing father, she charges you to remember, you can only repay his goodness by an application the most intense to those studies you have hitherto neglected, and of which your neglect has been the cause of all your errors; by committing to idle amusements the time that innocently, as well as profitably, ought to have been dedicated58 to the attainment59 of knowledge. She charges you also to ask yourself, since, during the vacation, your father himself is your tutor, upon what pretext60 you can justify61 wasting his valuable time, however little you may respect your own?–Finally —’
‘I never wasted his time! I never desired to have any instruction in the vacations. ’Tis the most deuced thing in life to be studying so hard incessantly62. The waste of time is all his own affair-his own choice-not mine, I assure you! Go on, however.’
‘Finally, she adjures63 you to consider, that if you still persevere64 to consume your time in wilful11 negligence65, to bury all thought in idle gaiety, and to act without either reflection or principle, the career of faults which begins but in unthinking folly, will terminate in shame, in guilt66, and in ruin! And though such a declension of all good, must involve your family in your affliction, your disgrace, she bids me say, will ultimately fall but where it ought; since your own want of personal sensibility to the horror of your conduct, will neither harden nor blind any human being besides yourself. This is all.’
‘And enough too,’ cried he, reddening: ‘I am a very wretch67!–I believe that-though I am sure I can’t tell how; for I never intend any harm, never think, never dream of hurting any mortal! But as to study–I must own to you, I hate it most deucedly. Anything else-if my mother had but exacted any thing else-with what joy I would have shewn my obedience68!–If she had ordered me to be horse-ponded, I do protest to you, I would not have demurred69.’
‘How always you run into the ridiculous!’ cried Camilla.
‘I was never so serious in my life; not that I should like to be horse-ponded in the least, though I would submit to it for a punishment, and out of duty: but then, when it was done, it would be over: now the deuce of study is, there is no end of it! And it does so little for one! one can go through life so well without it! There is not above here and there an old codger that asks one a question that can bring it into any play. And then, a turn upon one’s heel, or looking at one’s watch, or wondering at one’s short memory, or happening to forget just that one single passage, carries off the whole in two minutes, as completely as if one had been working one’s whole life to get ready for the assault. And pray, now, tell me, how can it be worth one’s best days, one’s gayest hours, the very flower of one’s life-all to be sacrificed to plodding70 over musty grammars and lexicons71, merely to cut a figure just for about two minutes once or twice in a year?’
The sisters, brought up with an early reverence72 for learning, as forming a distinguished73 part of the accomplishments74 of their father, could not subscribe75 to this argument. But they laughed; and that was ever sufficient for Lionel, who, though sincerely, in private, he loved and honoured his father, never bestowed76 upon him one voluntary moment that frolic or folly invited elsewhere.
Lavinia and Camilla, perfectly77 relieved now from all fears for their brother, repaired to the study of their father, anxious to endeavour to chear him, and to accelerate a meeting and reconciliation78 for Lionel; but they found him desirous to be alone, though kindly79, and unsolicited, he promised to admit his son before dinner.
Lionel heard this was a just awe80; but gave it no time for deep impression. It was still very early, and he could settle himself to nothing during the hours yet to pass before the interview. He persuaded his sisters, therefore, to walk out with him, to while away at once expectation and retrospection.
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1
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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repentant
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| adj.对…感到悔恨的 | |
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exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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poignant
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| adj.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，惨痛的 | |
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reproof
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| n.斥责，责备 | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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parental
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| adj.父母的；父的；母的 | |
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contagion
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| n.(通过接触的疾病)传染；蔓延 | |
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wilfully
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| adv.任性固执地；蓄意地 | |
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wilful
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| adj.任性的，故意的 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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compassionate
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| adj.有同情心的，表示同情的 | |
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blessings
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| n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福 | |
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vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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knuckles
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| n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝 | |
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coalition
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| n.结合体，同盟，结合，联合 | |
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mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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repentance
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| n.懊悔 | |
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subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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discomfort
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| n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便 | |
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reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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reprieve
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| n.暂缓执行（死刑）；v.缓期执行；给…带来缓解 | |
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suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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syllable
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| n.音节；vt.分音节 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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wager
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| n.赌注；vt.押注，打赌 | |
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imputation
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| n.归罪，责难 | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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buck
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| n.雄鹿，雄兔；v.马离地跳跃 | |
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expounding
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| 论述，详细讲解( expound的现在分词 ) | |
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sneerer
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| 嘲笑者，讥笑者 | |
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whit
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| n.一点，丝毫 | |
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veers
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| v.（尤指交通工具）改变方向或路线( veer的第三人称单数 )；（指谈话内容、人的行为或观点）突然改变；（指风） （在北半球按顺时针方向、在南半球按逆时针方向）逐渐转向；风向顺时针转 | |
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48
gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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unwillingly
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| adv.不情愿地 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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rapacious
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| adj.贪婪的，强夺的 | |
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52
remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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53
forsake
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| vt.遗弃，抛弃；舍弃，放弃 | |
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54
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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55
amends
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| n. 赔偿 | |
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56
penitence
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| n.忏悔，赎罪；悔过 | |
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clemency
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| n.温和，仁慈，宽厚 | |
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dedicated
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| adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的 | |
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attainment
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| n.达到，到达；［常pl.］成就，造诣 | |
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pretext
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| n.借口，托词 | |
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61
justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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incessantly
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| ad.不停地 | |
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adjures
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| vt.（以起誓或诅咒等形式）命令要求（adjure的第三人称单数形式） | |
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persevere
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| v.坚持，坚忍，不屈不挠 | |
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negligence
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| n.疏忽，玩忽，粗心大意 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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obedience
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| n.服从，顺从 | |
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demurred
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| v.表示异议，反对( demur的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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plodding
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| a.proceeding in a slow or dull way | |
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lexicons
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| n.词典( lexicon的名词复数 )；专门词汇 | |
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72
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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73
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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accomplishments
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| n.造诣；完成( accomplishment的名词复数 )；技能；成绩；成就 | |
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subscribe
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| vi.(to)订阅，订购；同意；vt.捐助，赞助 | |
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76
bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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77
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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78
reconciliation
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| n.和解，和谐，一致 | |
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79
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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80
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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