THUS, self-confined and almost in an agony, Camilla remained for a quarter of an hour, without any species of interruption, and in the greatest amazement1 that Lionel forbore pursuing her, either with letter or message.
Another violent ringing at the bell, but still without any carriage, then excited her attention, and presently the voice and steps of Lionel resounded2 upon the stairs, whence her name was with violence vociferated.
She did not move; and in another minute, he was rapping at her chamber3 door, demanding admittance, or that she would instantly descend4.
Alarmed for her open letter and papers, she inquired who was in the parlour.
‘Not a soul,’ he answered; ‘I have left them all at the Rooms.’
‘Have you returned, then, twice?’
‘No. I should have been here sooner, but I met two or three old cronies, that would not part with me. Come, where’s your letter?’
‘Have you not seen what I have written?’
Down upon this intimation he flew, without any reply; but was presently back, saying he found nothing in the parlour, except a letter to herself.
Affrighted, she followed him; but not one of her papers remained. The table was cleared, and nothing was to be seen but a large packet, addressed to her in a hand she did not know.
She rang to inquire who had been in the house before her brother.
The servant answered, only Sir Sedley Clarendel, who he thought had been there still, as he had said he should wait till Mrs. Arlbery came home.
‘Is it possible,’ cried she, ‘that a gentleman such as Sir Sedley Clarendel, can have permitted himself to touch my papers?’
Lionel agreed that it was shocking; but said the loss of time to himself was still worse; without suffering her, therefore, to open her packet, he insisted that she should write another letter directly; adding, he had met the Baronet in his way from the Rooms, but had little suspected whence he came, or how he had been amusing himself.
Camilla now hung about her brother in the greatest tribulation5, but refused to take the pen he would have put into her hands, and, at last, not without tears, said: ‘Forgive me, Lionel! but the papers you ought to have found would have explained-that I cannot write for you to my uncle.’
Lionel heard this with the indignation of an injured man. He was utterly6, he said, lost; and his family would be utterly disgraced, for ruin must be the lot of his father, or exile or imprisonment7 must be his own, if she persisted in such unkind and unnatural8 conduct.
Terrour now bereft9 her of all speech or motion, till the letter, which Lionel had been beating about in his agitation10, without knowing or caring what he was doing, burst open, and some written papers fell to the floor, which she recognised for her own.
Much amazed, she seized the cover, which had only been fastened by a wafer that was still wet, and saw a letter within it to herself, which she hastily read, while a paper that was enclosed dropt down, and was caught by Lionel.
To Miss Camilla Tyrold.
FORGIVE, fairest Camilla, the work of the Destinies. I came hither to see if illness detained you; the papers which I enclose from other curious eyes caught mine by accident. The pathetic sisterly address has touched me. I have not the honour to know Mr. Lionel Tyrold; let our acquaintance begin with an act of confidence on his part, that must bind11 to him for ever his lovely sister’s .
SEDLEY CLARENDEL
The loose paper, picked up by Lionel, was a draft, upon a banker, for two hundred pounds.
While this, with speechless emotion, was perused13 by Camilla, Lionel, with unbounded joy, began jumping, skipping, leaping over every chair, and capering14 round and round the room in an ecstasy15.
‘My dearest Lionel,’ cried she, when a little recovered, ‘why such joy? you cannot suppose it possible this can be accepted.’
‘Not accepted, child? do you think me out of my senses? Don’t you see me freed from all my misfortunes at once? and neither my father grieved, nor my mother offended, nor poor numps fleeced?’
‘And when can you pay it? And what do you mean to do? And to whom will be the obligation? Weigh, weigh a little all this.’
Lionel heard her not; his rapture16 was too buoyant for attention, and he whisked every thing out of its place, from frantic17 merriment, till he put the apartment into so much disorder18, that it was scarce practicable to stir a step in it; now and then interrupting himself to make her low bows, scraping his feet all over the room, and obsequiously19 saying: ‘My sister Clarendel! How does your La’ship do? my dear Lady Clarendel, pray afford me your La’ship’s countenance20.’
Nothing could be less pleasant to Camilla than raillery which pointed21 out, that, even by the unreflecting Lionel, this action could be ascribed to but one motive22. The draft, however, had fallen into his hands, and neither remonstrance23 nor petition, neither representation of impropriety nor persuasion24, could induce him to relinquish25 it; he would only dance, sing, and pay her grotesque26 homage27, till the coach stopt at the door; and then, ludicrously hoping her Ladyship would excuse his leaving her, for once, to play the part of the house-maid, in setting the room to rights, he sprang past them all, and bounded down the hill.
Mrs. Arlbery was much diverted by the confusion in the parlour, and Miss Dennel asked a thousand questions why the chairs and tables were all thrown down, the china jars removed from the chimney-piece into the middle of the room, and the sideboard apparatus28 put on the chimney-piece in their stead.
Camilla was too much confounded either to laugh or explain, and hastily wishing them good-night, retired29 to her chamber.
Here, in the extremest perturbation, she saw the full extent of her difficulties, without perceiving any means of extrication30. She had no hope of recovering the draft from Lionel, whom she had every reason to conclude already journeying from Tunbridge. What could she say the next day to Sir Sedley? How account for so sudden, so gross an acceptance of pecuniary31 obligation? What inference might he not draw? And how could she undeceive him, while retaining so improper32 a mark of his dependence33 upon her favour? The displeasure she felt that he should venture to suppose she would owe to him such a debt, rendered but still more palpable the species of expectation it might authorise.
To destroy this illusion occupied all her attention, except what was imperiously seized upon by regret of missing Edgar, with whom to consult was more than ever her wish.
In this disturbed state, when she saw Mrs. Arlbery the next morning, her whole care was to avoid being questioned: and that lady, who quickly perceived her fears by her avoidance, took the first opportunity to say to her, with a laugh, ‘I see I must make no inquiries34 into the gambols35 of your brother last night: but I may put together, perhaps, certain circumstances that may give me a little light to the business: and if, as I conjecture36, Clarendel spoke37 out to him, his wildest rioting is more rational than his sister’s gravity.’
Camilla protested they had not conversed38 together at all.
‘Nay, then, I own myself still in the dark. But I observed that Clarendel left the Rooms at a very early hour, and that your brother almost immediately followed.’
Camilla ventured not any reply; and soon after retreated.
Mrs. Arlbery, in a few minutes, pursuing her, laughingly, and with sportive reproach, accused her of intending to steal a march to the altar of Hymen; as she had just been informed, by her maid, that Sir Sedley had actually been at the house last night, during her absence.
Camilla seriously assured her, that she was in her chamber when he arrived, and had not seen him.
‘For what in the world, then, could he come? He was sure I was not at home, for he had left me at the Rooms?’
Camilla again was silent; but her tingling40 checks proclaimed it was not for want of something to say. Mrs. Arlbery forbore to press the matter further; but forbore with a nod that implied I see how it is! and a smile that published the pleasure and approbation41 which accompanied her self-conviction.
The vexation of Camilla would have prompted an immediate39 confession42 of the whole mortifying43 transaction, had she not been endued44 with a sense of honour, where the interests of others were concerned, that repressed her natural precipitance, and was more powerful even than her imprudence.
She waited the greatest part of the morning in some little faint hope of seeing Lionel: but he came not, and she spent the rest of it with Mrs. Berlinton. She anxiously wished to meet Edgar in the way, to apologise for her non-appearance the preceding evening-but this did not happen; and her concern was not lessened45 by reflecting upon the superior interest in her health and welfare, marked by Sir Sedley, who had taken the trouble to walk from the Rooms to Mount Pleasant to see what was become of her.
She returned home but barely in time to dress for dinner, and was not yet ready, when she saw the carriage of the Baronet drive up to the door.
In the most terrible confusion how to meet him, what to say about the draft, how to mention her brother, whether to seem resentful of the liberty he had so unceremoniously taken, or thankful for its kindness, she had scarce the force to attire46 herself, nor, when summoned down stairs, to descend.
This distress47 was but increased upon her entrance, by the sight and the behaviour of the Baronet; whose address to her was so marked, that it covered her with blushes, and whose air had an assurance that spoke a species of secret triumph. Offended as well as frightened, she looked every way to avoid him, or assumed a look of haughtiness48, when forced by any direct speech to answer him. She soon, however, saw, by his continued self-complacency, and even an increase of gaiety, that he only regarded this as coquetry, or bashful embarrassment49, since every time she attempted thus to rebuff him, an arch smile stole over his features, that displayed his different conception of her meaning.
She now wished nothing so much as a prompt and positive declaration, that she might convince him of his mistake and her rejection50. For this purpose, she subdued51 her desire of retreat, and spent the whole afternoon with Mrs. Arlbery and the Dennels in his company.
Nevertheless, when Mrs. Arlbery, who had the same object in view, though with a different conclusion, contrived52 to draw her other guests out of the apartment and to leave her alone with Sir Sedley, modesty53 and shame both interfered54 with her desire of an explanation, and she was hastily retiring; but the Baronet, in a gentle voice, called after her, ‘Are you going?’
‘Yes, I have forgotten something....’
He rose to follow her, with a motion that seemed purporting55 to take her hand; but, gliding56 quickly on, she prevented him, and was almost at the same moment in her own chamber.
With augmented57 severity, she now felt the impropriety of an apparent acceptance of so singular and unpleasant an obligation, which obviously misled Sir Sedley to believe her at his command.
Shocked in her delicacy58, and stung in her best notions of laudable pride, she could not rest without destroying this humiliating idea; and resolved to apply to Edgar for the money, and to pay the Baronet the next day. Her objections to betraying the extravagance of Lionel, though great and sincere, yielded to the still more dangerous evil of letting Sir Sedley continue in an errour, that might terminate in branding her in his opinion, with a character of inconsistency or duplicity.
Edgar, too, so nearly a brother to them both, would guard the secret of Lionel better, in all probability, than he would guard it himself; and could draw no personal inferences from the trust and obligation when he found its sole incitement59 was sooner to owe an obligation to a ward60 of her father, than to a new acquaintance of her own.
Pleased at the seeming necessity of an application that would lead so naturally to a demand of the counsel she languished61 to claim, she determined62 not to suffer Sir Sedley to wait even another minute under his mistake; but, since she now could speak of returning the money, to take courage for meeting what might either precede or ensue in a conference.
Down, therefore, she went; but as she opened the parlour door, she heard Sir Sedley say to Mrs. Arlbery, who had just entered before her: ‘O, fie! fie! you know she will be cruel to excruciation! you know me destined63 to despair to the last degree.’
Camilla, whose so speedy re-appearance was the last sight he expected, was too far advanced to retreat; and the resentment64 that tinged65 her whole complexion66 shewed she had heard what he said, and had heard it with an application the most offensive.
An immediate sensibility to his own impertinence now succeeded in its vain display; he looked not merely concerned, but contrite67; and, in a voice softened68 nearly to timidity, attempted a general conversation, but kept his eyes, with an anxious expression, almost continually fixed69 upon her’s .
Anger with Camilla was a quick, but short-lived sensation; and this sudden change in the Baronet from conceit70 to respect, produced a change equally sudden in herself from disdain71 to inquietude. Though mortified72 in the first moment by his vanity, it was less seriously painful to her than any belief that under it was couched a disposition73 towards a really steady regard. With Mrs. Arlbery she was but slightly offended, though certain she had been assuring him of all the success he could demand: her way of thinking upon the subject had been openly avowed74, and she did justice to the kindness of her motives75.
No opportunity, however, arose to mention the return of the draft; Mrs. Arlbery saw displeasure in her air, and not doubting she had heard what had dropt from Sir Sedley, thought the moment unfavorable for a tête-à-tête, and resolutely76 kept her place, till Camilla herself, weary of useless waiting, left the room.
Following her then to her chamber, ‘My dear Miss Tyrold,’ she cried, ‘do not let your extreme youth stand in the way of all your future life. A Baronet, rich, young, and amiable77, is upon the very point of becoming your slave for ever; yet, because you discover him to be a little restive78 in the last agonies of his liberty, you are eager, in the high-flown disdain of juvenile79 susceptibility, to cast him and his fortune away; as if both were such every-day baubles80, that you might command or reject them without thought of future consequence.’
‘Indeed no, dear madam; I am not actuated by pride or anger; I owe too much to Sir Sedley to feel either above a moment, even where I think them... pardon me!... justly excited. But I should ill pay my debt, by accepting a lasting81 attachment82, where certain I can return nothing but lasting, eternal, unchangeable indifference83.’
‘You sacrifice, then, both him and yourself, to the fanciful delicacy of a first love?’
‘No, indeed!’ cried she blushing. ‘I have no thought at all but of the single life. And I sincerely hope Sir Sedley has no serious intentions towards me; for my obligations to him are so infinite, I should be cruelly hurt to appear to him ungrateful.’
‘You would appear to him, I confess, a little surprising,’ said Mrs. Arlbery, laughing; ‘for diffidence certainly is not his weak part. However, with all his foibles, he is a charming creature, and prepossession only can blind you to his merit.’
Camilla again denied the charge, and strove to prevail with her to undeceive the Baronet from any false expectations. But she protested she would not be accessary to so much after-repentance; and left her.
The business now wore a very serious aspect to Camilla. Mrs. Arlbery avowed she thought Sir Sedley in earnest, and he knew she had herself heard him speak with security of his success. The bullfinch had gone far, but the draft seemed to have riveted84 the persuasion. The bird it was now impossible to return till her departure from Tunbridge; but she resolved not to defer85 another moment putting upon her brother alone the obligation of the draft, to stop the further progress of such dangerous inference.
Hastily, therefore, she wrote to him the following note:
To Sir Sedley Clarendel, Bart.
SIR,
SOME particular business compelled my brother so abruptly86 to quit Tunbridge, that he could not have the honour to first wait upon you with his thanks for the loan you so unexpectedly put into his hands; by mine, however, all will be restored to-morrow morning, except his gratitude87 for your kindness.
I am, sir, in both our names, your obliged humble88 servant,
CAMILLA TYROLD.
MOUNT PLEASANT,
Thursday Evening.
She now waited till she was summoned down stairs to the carriage, and then gave her little letter to a servant, whom she desired to deliver it to Sir Sedley’s man.
Sir Sedley did not accompany them to the Rooms, but promised to follow.
Camilla, on her arrival, with palpitating pleasure, looked round for Edgar. She did not, however, see him. She was accosted89 directly by the Major; who, as usual, never left her, and whose assiduity to seek her favour seemed increased.
She next joined Mrs. Berlinton; but still she saw nothing of Edgar. Her eyes incessantly90 looked towards the door, but the object they sought never met them.
When Sir Sedley entered, he joined the group of Mrs. Berlinton. Camilla tried to look at him and to speak to him with her customary civility and chearfulness, and nearly succeeded; while in him she observed only an expressive91 attention, without any marks of presumption92.
Thus began and thus ended the evening. Edgar never appeared. Camilla was in the utmost amaze and deepest vexation. Why did he stay away? was his wrath93 so great at her own failure the preceding night, that he purposely avoided her? what, also, could she do with Sir Sedley? how meet him the next morning without the draft she had now promised?
In this state of extreme chagrin94, when she retired to her chamber, she found the following letter upon her table:
To Miss Camilla Tyrold.
CAN YOU think of such a trifle? or deem wealth so truly contemptible95, as to deny it all honourable96 employment? Ah, rather, enchanting97 Camilla! deign98 further to aid me in dispensing99 it worthily100!
SEDLEY CLARENDEL.
Camilla now was touched, penetrated101, and distressed102 beyond what she had been in any former time. She looked upon this letter as a positive intimation of the most serious designs; and all his good qualities, as painted by Mrs. Arlbery, with the very singular obligation she owed to him, rose up formidably to support the arguments and remonstrances103 of that lady; though every feeling of her heart, every sentiment of her mind, and every wish of her soul, opposed their smallest weight.
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1
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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resounded
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| v.（指声音等）回荡于某处( resound的过去式和过去分词 )；产生回响；（指某处）回荡着声音 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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tribulation
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| n.苦难，灾难 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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imprisonment
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| n.关押，监禁，坐牢 | |
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unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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bereft
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| adj.被剥夺的 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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perused
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| v.读（某篇文字）( peruse的过去式和过去分词 )；（尤指）细阅；审阅；匆匆读或心不在焉地浏览（某篇文字） | |
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14
capering
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| v.跳跃，雀跃( caper的现在分词 )；蹦蹦跳跳 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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obsequiously
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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remonstrance
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| n抗议，抱怨 | |
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persuasion
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| n.劝说；说服；持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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relinquish
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| v.放弃，撤回，让与，放手 | |
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grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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homage
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| n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬 | |
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apparatus
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| n.装置，器械；器具，设备 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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extrication
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| n.解脱；救出，解脱 | |
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31
pecuniary
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| adj.金钱的；金钱上的 | |
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improper
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| adj.不适当的，不合适的，不正确的，不合礼仪的 | |
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dependence
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| n.依靠，依赖；信任，信赖；隶属 | |
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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gambols
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| v.蹦跳，跳跃，嬉戏( gambol的第三人称单数 ) | |
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conjecture
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| n./v.推测，猜测 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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conversed
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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tingling
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| v.有刺痛感( tingle的现在分词 ) | |
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approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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mortifying
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| adj.抑制的，苦修的v.使受辱( mortify的现在分词 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等） | |
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endued
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| v.授予，赋予（特性、才能等）( endue的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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lessened
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| 减少的，减弱的 | |
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attire
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| v.穿衣，装扮[同]array；n.衣着；盛装 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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haughtiness
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| n.傲慢；傲气 | |
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embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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rejection
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| n.拒绝，被拒，抛弃，被弃 | |
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51
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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53
modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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54
interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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purporting
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| v.声称是…，（装得）像是…的样子( purport的现在分词 ) | |
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gliding
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| v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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Augmented
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| adj.增音的 动词augment的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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incitement
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| 激励； 刺激； 煽动； 激励物 | |
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ward
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| n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开 | |
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languished
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| 长期受苦( languish的过去式和过去分词 )； 受折磨； 变得（越来越）衰弱； 因渴望而变得憔悴或闷闷不乐 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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tinged
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| v.（使）发丁丁声( ting的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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contrite
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| adj.悔悟了的，后悔的，痛悔的 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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conceit
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| n.自负，自高自大 | |
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disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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mortified
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| v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等） | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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avowed
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| adj.公开声明的，承认的v.公开声明，承认( avow的过去式和过去分词) | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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restive
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| adj.不安宁的，不安静的 | |
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juvenile
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| n.青少年，少年读物；adj.青少年的，幼稚的 | |
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baubles
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| n.小玩意( bauble的名词复数 )；华而不实的小件装饰品；无价值的东西；丑角的手杖 | |
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lasting
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| adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持 | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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riveted
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| 铆接( rivet的过去式和过去分词 )； 把…固定住； 吸引； 引起某人的注意 | |
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defer
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| vt.推迟，拖延；vi.(to)遵从，听从，服从 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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accosted
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| v.走过去跟…讲话( accost的过去式和过去分词 )；跟…搭讪；（乞丐等）上前向…乞讨；（妓女等）勾搭 | |
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incessantly
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| ad.不停地 | |
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expressive
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| adj.表现的，表达…的，富于表情的 | |
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presumption
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| n.推测，可能性，冒昧，放肆，[法律]推定 | |
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wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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chagrin
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| n.懊恼；气愤；委屈 | |
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contemptible
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| adj.可鄙的，可轻视的，卑劣的 | |
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honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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enchanting
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| a.讨人喜欢的 | |
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deign
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| v. 屈尊, 惠允 ( 做某事) | |
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dispensing
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| v.分配( dispense的现在分词 )；施与；配（药） | |
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worthily
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| 重要地，可敬地，正当地 | |
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101
penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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remonstrances
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| n.抱怨，抗议( remonstrance的名词复数 ) | |
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