But his son hated him. He hated him for coming up to them, for stoppingand looking down on them; he hated him for interrupting them; he hatedhim for the exaltation and sublimity1 of his gestures; for the magnificenceof his head; for his exactingness2 and egotism (for there he stood, commandingthem to attend to him) but most of all he hated the twang andtwitter of his father's emotion which, vibrating round them, disturbedthe perfect simplicity3 and good sense of his relations with his mother. Bylooking fixedly5 at the page, he hoped to make him move on; by pointinghis finger at a word, he hoped to recall his mother's attention, which, heknew angrily, wavered instantly his father stopped. But, no. Nothingwould make Mr Ramsay move on. There he stood, demandingsympathy.
Mrs Ramsay, who had been sitting loosely, folding her son in her arm,braced herself, and, half turning, seemed to raise herself with an effort,and at once to pour erect6 into the air a rain of energy, a column of spray,looking at the same time animated7 and alive as if all her energies werebeing fused into force, burning and illuminating8 (quietly though she sat,taking up her stocking again), and into this delicious fecundity9, thisfountain and spray of life, the fatal sterility10 of the male plunged11 itself,like a beak12 of brass13, barren and bare. He wanted sympathy. He was afailure, he said. Mrs Ramsay flashed her needles. Mr Ramsay repeated,never taking his eyes from her face, that he was a failure. She blew thewords back at him. "Charles Tansley… " she said. But he must have morethan that. It was sympathy he wanted, to be assured of his genius, first ofall, and then to be taken within the circle of life, warmed and soothed14, tohave his senses restored to him, his barrenness made furtile, and all therooms of the house made full of life—the drawing-room; behind thedrawing-room the kitchen; above the kitchen the bedrooms; and beyondthem the nurseries; they must be furnished, they must be filled with life.
Charles Tansley thought him the greatest metaphysician of the time,she said. But he must have more than that. He must have sympathy. Hemust be assured that he too lived in the heart of life; was needed; notonly here, but all over the world. Flashing her needles, confident, upright,she created drawing-room and kitchen, set them all aglow15; badehim take his ease there, go in and out, enjoy himself. She laughed, sheknitted. Standing16 between her knees, very stiff, James felt all her strengthflaring up to be drunk and quenched17 by the beak of brass, the arid18 scimitarof the male, which smote19 mercilessly, again and again, demandingsympathy.
He was a failure, he repeated. Well, look then, feel then. Flashing herneedles, glancing round about her, out of the window, into the room, atJames himself, she assured him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, by herlaugh, her poise20, her competence21 (as a nurse carrying a light across adark room assures a fractious child), that it was real; the house was full;the garden blowing. If he put implicit4 faith in her, nothing should hurthim; however deep he buried himself or climed high, not for a secondshould he find himself without her. So boasting of her capacity to surroundand protect, there was scarcely a shell of herself left for her toknow herself by; all was so lavished22 and spent; and James, as he stoodstiff between her knees, felt her rise in a rosy-flowered fruit tree laid withleaves and dancing boughs23 into which the beak of brass, the arid scimitarof his father, the egotistical man, plunged and smote, demandingsympathy.
Filled with her words, like a child who drops off satisfied, he said, atlast, looking at her with humble24 gratitude25, restored, renewed, that hewould take a turn; he would watch the children playing cricket. Hewent.
Immediately, Mrs Ramsey seemed to fold herself together, one petalclosed in another, and the whole fabric26 fell in exhaustion27 upon itself, sothat she had only strength enough to move her finger, in exquisite28 abandonmentto exhaustion, across the page of Grimm's fairy story, whilethere throbbed29 through her, like a pulse in a spring which has expandedto its full width and now gently ceases to beat, the rapture31 of successfulcreation.
Every throb30 of this pulse seemed, as he walked away, to enclose herand her husband, and to give to each that solace32 which two differentnotes, one high, one low, struck together, seem to give each other as theycombine. Yet as the resonance33 died, and she turned to the Fairy Taleagain, Mrs Ramsey felt not only exhausted34 in body (afterwards, not atthe time, she always felt this) but also there tinged35 her physical fatiguesome faintly disagreeable sensation with another origin. Not that, as sheread aloud the story of the Fisherman's Wife, she knew precisely36 what itcame from; nor did she let herself put into words her dissatisfactionwhen she realized, at the turn of the page when she stopped and hearddully, ominously37, a wave fall, how it came from this: she did not like,even for a second, to feel finer than her husband; and further, could notbear not being entirely38 sure, when she spoke39 to him, of the truth of whatshe said. Universities and people wanting him, lectures and books andtheir being of the highest importance—all that she did not doubt for amoment; but it was their relation, and his coming to her like that, openly,so that any one could see, that discomposed her; for then people said hedepended on her, when they must know that of the two he was infinitelythe more important, and what she gave the world, in comparison withwhat he gave, negligable. But then again, it was the other thing too—notbeing able to tell him the truth, being afraid, for instance, about thegreenhouse roof and the expense it would be, fifty pounds perhaps tomend it; and then about his books, to be afraid that he might guess, whatshe a little suspected, that his last book was not quite his best book (shegathered that from William Bankes); and then to hide small daily things,and the children seeing it, and the burden it laid on them—all this diminishedthe entire joy, the pure joy, of the two notes sounding together, andlet the sound die on her ear now with a dismal40 flatness.
A shadow was on the page; she looked up. It was Augustus Carmichaelshuffling past, precisely now, at the very moment when it waspainful to be reminded of the inadequacy41 of human relationships, thatthe most perfect was flawed, and could not bear the examination which,loving her husband, with her instinct for truth, she turned upon it; whenit was painful to feel herself convicted of unworthiness, and impeded42 inher proper function by these lies, these exaggerations,—it was at this momentwhen she was fretted43 thus ignobly44 in the wake of her exaltation,that Mr Carmichael shuffled45 past, in his yellow slippers46, and some demonin her made it necessary for her to call out, as he passed,"Going indoors Mr Carmichael?"
1 sublimity | |
崇高,庄严,气质高尚 | |
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2 exactingness | |
正确,精确 | |
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3 simplicity | |
n.简单,简易;朴素;直率,单纯 | |
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4 implicit | |
a.暗示的,含蓄的,不明晰的,绝对的 | |
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5 fixedly | |
adv.固定地;不屈地,坚定不移地 | |
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6 erect | |
n./v.树立,建立,使竖立;adj.直立的,垂直的 | |
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7 animated | |
adj.生气勃勃的,活跃的,愉快的 | |
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8 illuminating | |
a.富于启发性的,有助阐明的 | |
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9 fecundity | |
n.生产力;丰富 | |
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10 sterility | |
n.不生育,不结果,贫瘠,消毒,无菌 | |
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11 plunged | |
v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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12 beak | |
n.鸟嘴,茶壶嘴,钩形鼻 | |
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13 brass | |
n.黄铜;黄铜器,铜管乐器 | |
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14 soothed | |
v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 );抚慰;使舒服;减轻痛苦 | |
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15 aglow | |
adj.发亮的;发红的;adv.发亮地 | |
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16 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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17 quenched | |
解(渴)( quench的过去式和过去分词 ); 终止(某事物); (用水)扑灭(火焰等); 将(热物体)放入水中急速冷却 | |
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18 arid | |
adj.干旱的;(土地)贫瘠的 | |
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19 smote | |
v.猛打,重击,打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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20 poise | |
vt./vi. 平衡,保持平衡;n.泰然自若,自信 | |
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21 competence | |
n.能力,胜任,称职 | |
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22 lavished | |
v.过分给予,滥施( lavish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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23 boughs | |
大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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24 humble | |
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低 | |
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25 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
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26 fabric | |
n.织物,织品,布;构造,结构,组织 | |
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27 exhaustion | |
n.耗尽枯竭,疲惫,筋疲力尽,竭尽,详尽无遗的论述 | |
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28 exquisite | |
adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的 | |
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29 throbbed | |
抽痛( throb的过去式和过去分词 ); (心脏、脉搏等)跳动 | |
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30 throb | |
v.震颤,颤动;(急速强烈地)跳动,搏动 | |
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31 rapture | |
n.狂喜;全神贯注;着迷;v.使狂喜 | |
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32 solace | |
n.安慰;v.使快乐;vt.安慰(物),缓和 | |
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33 resonance | |
n.洪亮;共鸣;共振 | |
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34 exhausted | |
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
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35 tinged | |
v.(使)发丁丁声( ting的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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36 precisely | |
adv.恰好,正好,精确地,细致地 | |
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37 ominously | |
adv.恶兆地,不吉利地;预示地 | |
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38 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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39 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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40 dismal | |
adj.阴沉的,凄凉的,令人忧郁的,差劲的 | |
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41 inadequacy | |
n.无法胜任,信心不足 | |
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42 impeded | |
阻碍,妨碍,阻止( impede的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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43 fretted | |
焦躁的,附有弦马的,腐蚀的 | |
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44 ignobly | |
卑贱地,下流地 | |
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45 shuffled | |
v.洗(纸牌)( shuffle的过去式和过去分词 );拖着脚步走;粗心地做;摆脱尘世的烦恼 | |
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46 slippers | |
n. 拖鞋 | |
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