Part 1 Chapter 11

    No, she thought, putting together some of the pictures he had cut out— arefrigerator, a mowing¹ machine, a gentleman in evening dress— childrennever forget. For this reason, it was so important what one said, andwhat one did, and it was a relief when they went to bed. For now sheneed not think about anybody. She could be herself, by herself. And thatwas what now she often felt the need of—to think; well, not even tothink. To be silent; to be alone. All the being and the doing, expansive,glittering, vocal², evaporated; and one shrunk, with a sense of solemnity,to being oneself, a wedge-shaped core of darkness, something invisibleto others. Although she continued to knit, and sat upright, it was thusthat she felt herself; and this self having shed its attachments³ was free forthe strangest adventures. When life sank down for a moment, the rangeof experience seemed limitless. And to everybody there was always thissense of unlimited⁴ resources, she supposed; one after another, she, Lily,Augustus Carmichael, must feel, our apparitions⁵, the things you knowus by, are simply childish. Beneath it is all dark, it is all spreading, it isunfathomably deep; but now and again we rise to the surface and that iswhat you see us by. Her horizon seemed to her limitless. There were allthe places she had not seen; the Indian plains; she felt herself pushingaside the thick leather curtain of a church in Rome. This core of darknesscould go anywhere, for no one saw it. They could not stop it, shethought, exulting⁶. There was freedom, there was peace, there was, mostwelcome of all, a summoning together, a resting on a platform of stability.

　　Not as oneself did one find rest ever, in her experience (she accomplishedhere something dexterous⁷ with her needles) but as a wedge ofdarkness. Losing personality, one lost the fret⁸, the hurry, the stir; andthere rose to her lips always some exclamation⁹ of triumph over life whenthings came together in this peace, this rest, this eternity¹⁰; and pausingthere she looked out to meet that stroke of the Lighthouse, the longsteady stroke, the last of the three, which was her stroke, for watchingthem in this mood always at this hour one could not help attachingoneself to one thing especially of the things one saw; and this thing, thelong steady stroke, was her stroke. Often she found herself sitting andlooking, sitting and looking, with her work in her hands until she becamethe thing she looked at—that light, for example. And it would liftup on it some little phrase or other which had been lying in her mind likethat—"Children don't forget, children don't forget"—which she wouldrepeat and begin adding to it, It will end, it will end, she said. It willcome, it will come, when suddenly she added, We are in the hands of theLord.

　　But instantly she was annoyed with herself for saying that. Who hadsaid it? Not she; she had been trapped into saying something she did notmean. She looked up over her knitting and met the third stroke and itseemed to her like her own eyes meeting her own eyes, searching as shealone could search into her mind and her heart, purifying out of existencethat lie, any lie. She praised herself in praising the light, withoutvanity, for she was stern, she was searching, she was beautiful like thatlight. It was odd, she thought, how if one was alone, one leant to inanimatethings; trees, streams, flowers; felt they expressed one; felt they becameone; felt they knew one, in a sense were one; felt an irrational¹¹ tendernessthus (she looked at that long steady light) as for oneself. Thererose, and she looked and looked with her needles suspended, therecurled up off the floor of the mind, rose from the lake of one's being, amist, a bride to meet her lover.

　　What brought her to say that: "We are in the hands of the Lord?" shewondered. The insincerity slipping in among the truths roused her, annoyedher. She returned to her knitting again. How could any Lord havemade this world? she asked. With her mind she had always seized thefact that there is no reason, order, justice: but suffering, death, the poor.

　　There was no treachery too base for the world to commit; she knew that.

　　No happiness lasted; she knew that. She knitted with firm composure,slightly pursing her lips and, without being aware of it, so stiffened¹² andcomposed the lines of her face in a habit of sternness that when her husbandpassed, though he was chuckling¹³ at the thought that Hume, thephilosopher, grown enormously fat, had stuck in a bog¹⁴, he could nothelp noting, as he passed, the sternness at the heart of her beauty. Itsaddened him, and her remoteness pained him, and he felt, as he passed,that he could not protect her, and, when he reached the hedge, he wassad. He could do nothing to help her. He must stand by and watch her.

　　Indeed, the infernal truth was, he made things worse for her. He wasirritable—he was touchy¹⁵. He had lost his temper over the Lighthouse. Helooked into the hedge, into its intricacy, its darkness.

　　Always, Mrs Ramsay felt, one helped oneself out of solitude¹⁶ reluctantlyby laying hold of some little odd or end, some sound, some sight.

　　She listened, but it was all very still; cricket was over; the children werein their baths; there was only the sound of the sea. She stopped knitting;she held the long reddish-brown stocking dangling¹⁷ in her hands a moment.

　　She saw the light again. With some irony¹⁸ in her interrogation, forwhen one woke at all, one's relations changed, she looked at the steadylight, the pitiless, the remorseless, which was so much her, yet so littleher, which had her at its beck and call (she woke in the night and saw itbent across their bed, stroking the floor), but for all that she thought,watching it with fascination¹⁹, hypnotised, as if it were stroking with itssilver fingers some sealed vessel²⁰ in her brain whose bursting wouldflood her with delight, she had known happiness, exquisite²¹ happiness,intense happiness, and it silvered the rough waves a little more brightly,as daylight faded, and the blue went out of the sea and it rolled in wavesof pure lemon which curved and swelled²² and broke upon the beach andthe ecstasy²³ burst in her eyes and waves of pure delight raced over thefloor of her mind and she felt, It is enough! It is enough!

　　He turned and saw her. Ah! She was lovely, lovelier now than ever hethought. But he could not speak to her. He could not interrupt her. Hewanted urgently to speak to her now that James was gone and she wasalone at last. But he resolved, no; he would not interrupt her. She wasaloof from him now in her beauty, in her sadness. He would let her be,and he passed her without a word, though it hurt him that she shouldlook so distant, and he could not reach her, he could do nothing to helpher. And again he would have passed her without a word had she not, atthat very moment, given him of her own free will what she knew hewould never ask, and called to him and taken the green shawl off thepicture frame, and gone to him. For he wished, she knew, to protect her.

1 mowing   

n.割草，一次收割量，牧草地v.刈，割( mow的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• The lawn needs mowing. 这草坪的草该割了。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• "Do you use it for mowing?" “你是用它割草么？” 来自汉英文学 - 中国现代小说

2 vocal   

adj.直言不讳的；嗓音的；n.[pl.]声乐节目

参考例句：

• The tongue is a vocal organ.舌头是一个发音器官。
• Public opinion at last became vocal.终于舆论哗然。

3 attachments   

n.（用电子邮件发送的）附件( attachment的名词复数 )；附着；连接；附属物

参考例句：

• The vacuum cleaner has four different attachments. 吸尘器有四个不同的附件。
• It's an electric drill with a range of different attachments. 这是一个带有各种配件的电钻。

4 unlimited   

adj.无限的，不受控制的，无条件的

参考例句：

• They flew over the unlimited reaches of the Arctic.他们飞过了茫茫无边的北极上空。
• There is no safety in unlimited technological hubris.在技术方面自以为是会很危险。

5 apparitions   

n.特异景象( apparition的名词复数 )；幽灵；鬼；（特异景象等的）出现

参考例句：

• And this year occurs the 90th anniversary of these apparitions. 今年是她显现的九十周年纪念。 来自互联网
• True love is like ghostly apparitions: everybody talks about them but few have ever seen one. 真爱就如同幽灵显现：所有人都谈论它们，但很少有人见到过一个。 来自互联网

6 exulting   

vi. 欢欣鼓舞，狂喜

参考例句：

• He leaned back, exulting at the success of his plan. 他向后一靠，为自己计划成功而得意扬扬。
• Jones was exulting in the consciousness of his integrity. 琼斯意识到自己的忠贞十分高兴。

7 dexterous   

adj.灵敏的；灵巧的

参考例句：

• As people grow older they generally become less dexterous.随着年龄的增长，人通常会变得不再那么手巧。
• The manager was dexterous in handling his staff.那位经理善于运用他属下的职员。

8 fret   

v.(使)烦恼；(使)焦急；(使)腐蚀，(使)磨损

参考例句：

• Don't fret.We'll get there on time.别着急，我们能准时到那里。
• She'll fret herself to death one of these days.她总有一天会愁死的.

9 exclamation   

n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词

参考例句：

• He could not restrain an exclamation of approval.他禁不住喝一声采。
• The author used three exclamation marks at the end of the last sentence to wake up the readers.作者在文章的最后一句连用了三个惊叹号，以引起读者的注意。

10 eternity   

n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷

参考例句：

• The dull play seemed to last an eternity.这场乏味的剧似乎演个没完没了。
• Finally,Ying Tai and Shan Bo could be together for all of eternity.英台和山伯终能双宿双飞，永世相随。

11 irrational   

adj.无理性的，失去理性的

参考例句：

• After taking the drug she became completely irrational.她在吸毒后变得完全失去了理性。
• There are also signs of irrational exuberance among some investors.在某些投资者中是存在非理性繁荣的征象的。

12 stiffened   

加强的

参考例句：

• He leaned towards her and she stiffened at this invasion of her personal space. 他向她俯过身去，这种侵犯她个人空间的举动让她绷紧了身子。
• She stiffened with fear. 她吓呆了。

13 chuckling   

轻声地笑( chuckle的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• I could hear him chuckling to himself as he read his book. 他看书时，我能听见他的轻声发笑。
• He couldn't help chuckling aloud. 他忍不住的笑了出来。 来自汉英文学 - 骆驼祥子

14 bog   

n.沼泽；室...陷入泥淖

参考例句：

• We were able to pass him a rope before the bog sucked him under.我们终于得以在沼泽把他吞没前把绳子扔给他。
• The path goes across an area of bog.这条小路穿过一片沼泽。

15 touchy   

adj.易怒的；棘手的

参考例句：

• Be careful what you say because he's touchy.你说话小心，因为他容易生气。
• He's a little touchy about his weight.他对自己的体重感到有点儿苦恼。

16 solitude   

n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方

参考例句：

• People need a chance to reflect on spiritual matters in solitude. 人们需要独处的机会来反思精神上的事情。
• They searched for a place where they could live in solitude. 他们寻找一个可以过隐居生活的地方。

17 dangling   

悬吊着( dangle的现在分词 )； 摆动不定； 用某事物诱惑…； 吊胃口

参考例句：

• The tooth hung dangling by the bedpost, now. 结果，那颗牙就晃来晃去吊在床柱上了。
• The children sat on the high wall,their legs dangling. 孩子们坐在一堵高墙上，摇晃着他们的双腿。

18 irony   

n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄

参考例句：

• She said to him with slight irony.她略带嘲讽地对他说。
• In her voice we could sense a certain tinge of irony.从她的声音里我们可以感到某种讥讽的意味。

19 fascination   

n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋

参考例句：

• He had a deep fascination with all forms of transport.他对所有的运输工具都很着迷。
• His letters have been a source of fascination to a wide audience.广大观众一直迷恋于他的来信。

20 vessel   

n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管

参考例句：

• The vessel is fully loaded with cargo for Shanghai.这艘船满载货物驶往上海。
• You should put the water into a vessel.你应该把水装入容器中。

21 exquisite   

adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的

参考例句：

• I was admiring the exquisite workmanship in the mosaic.我当时正在欣赏镶嵌画的精致做工。
• I still remember the exquisite pleasure I experienced in Bali.我依然记得在巴厘岛所经历的那种剧烈的快感。

22 swelled   

增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情）

参考例句：

• The infection swelled his hand. 由于感染，他的手肿了起来。
• After the heavy rain the river swelled. 大雨过后，河水猛涨。

23 ecstasy   

n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷

参考例句：

• He listened to the music with ecstasy.他听音乐听得入了神。
• Speechless with ecstasy,the little boys gazed at the toys.小孩注视着那些玩具，高兴得说不出话来。