“What if I die under it?” The thought recurred1 again and again, as I walked home from Haddon’s. It was a purely2 personal question. I was spared the deep anxieties of a married man, and I knew there were few of my intimate friends but would find my death troublesome chiefly on account of their duty of regret. I was surprised indeed, and perhaps a little humiliated3, as I turned the matter over, to think how few could possibly exceed the conventional requirement. Things came before me stripped of glamour4, in a clear dry light, during that walk from Haddon’s house over Primrose5 Hill. There were the friends of my youth: I perceived now that our affection was a tradition, which we foregathered rather laboriously7 to maintain. There were the rivals and helpers of my later career: I suppose I had been cold-blooded or undemonstrative — one perhaps implies the other. It may be that even the capacity for friendship is a question of physique. There had been a time in my own life when I had grieved bitterly enough at the loss of a friend; but as I walked home that afternoon the emotional side of my imagination was dormant8. I could not pity myself, nor feel sorry for my friends, nor conceive of them as grieving for me.
I was interested in this deadness of my emotional nature — no doubt a concomitant of my stagnating9 physiology10; and my thoughts wandered off along the line it suggested. Once before, in my hot youth, I had suffered a sudden loss of blood, and had been within an ace11 of death. I remembered now that my affections as well as my passions had drained out of me, leaving scarce anything but a tranquil12 resignation, a dreg of self-pity. It had been weeks before the old ambitions and tendernesses and all the complex moral interplay of a man had reasserted themselves. It occurred to me that the real meaning of this numbness13 might be a gradual slipping away from the pleasure-pain guidance of the animal man. It has been proven, I take it, as thoroughly14 as anything can be proven in this world, that the higher emotions, the moral feelings, even the subtle unselfishness of love, are evolved from the elemental desires and fears of the simple animal: they are the harness in which man’s mental freedom goes. And it may be that as death overshadows us, as our possibility of acting15 diminishes, this complex growth of balanced impulse, propensity16 and aversion, whose interplay inspires our acts, goes with it. Leaving what?
I was suddenly brought back to reality by an imminent17 collision with the butcher-boy’s tray. I found that I was crossing the bridge over the Regent’s Park Canal, which runs parallel with that in the Zoological Gardens. The boy in blue had been looking over his shoulder at a black barge18 advancing slowly, towed by a gaunt white horse. In the Gardens a nurse was leading three happy little children over the bridge. The trees were bright green; the spring hopefulness was still unstained by the dusts of summer; the sky in the water was bright and clear, but broken by long waves, by quivering bands of black, as the barge drove through. The breeze was stirring; but it did not stir me as the spring breeze used to do.
Was this dulness of feeling in itself an anticipation19? It was curious that I could reason and follow out a network of suggestion as clearly as ever: so, at least, it seemed to me. It was calmness rather than dulness that was coming upon me. Was there any ground for the relief in the presentiment20 of death? Did a man near to death begin instinctively21 to withdraw himself from the meshes22 of matter and sense, even before the cold hand was laid upon his? I felt strangely isolated23 — isolated without regret — from the life and existence about me. The children playing in the sun and gathering24 strength and experience for the business of life, the park-keeper gossiping with a nursemaid, the nursing mother, the young couple intent upon each other as they passed me, the trees by the wayside spreading new pleading leaves to the sunlight, the stir in their branches — I had been part of it all, but I had nearly done with it now.
Some way down the Broad Walk I perceived that I was tired, and that my feet were heavy. It was hot that afternoon, and I turned aside and sat down on one of the green chairs that line the way. In a minute I had dozed25 into a dream, and the tide of my thoughts washed up a vision of the resurrection. I was still sitting in the chair, but I thought myself actually dead, withered26, tattered27, dried, one eye (I saw) pecked out by birds. “Awake!” cried a voice; and incontinently the dust of the path and the mould under the grass became insurgent28. I had never before thought of Regent’s Park as a cemetery29, but now, through the trees, stretching as far as eye could see, I beheld30 a flat plain of writhing31 graves and heeling tombstones. There seemed to be some trouble: the rising dead appeared to stifle32 as they struggled upward, they bled in their struggles, the red flesh was torn away from the white bones. “Awake!” cried a voice; but I determined33 I would not rise to such horrors. “Awake!” They would not let me alone. “Wake up!” said an angry voice. A cockney angel! The man who sells the tickets was shaking me, demanding my penny.
I paid my penny, pocketed my ticket, yawned, stretched my legs, and, feeling now rather less torpid34, got up and walked on towards Langham Place. I speedily lost myself again in a shifting maze35 of thoughts about death. Going across Marylebone Road into that crescent at the end of Langham Place, I had the narrowest escape from the shaft36 of a cab, and went on my way with a palpitating heart and a bruised37 shoulder. It struck me that it would have been curious if my meditations38 on my death on the morrow had led to my death that day.
But I will not weary you with more of my experiences that day and the next. I knew more and more certainly that I should die under the operation; at times I think I was inclined to pose to myself. The doctors were coming at eleven, and I did not get up. It seemed scarce worth while to trouble about washing and dressing40, and though I read my newspapers and the letters that came by the first post, I did not find them very interesting. There was a friendly note from Addison, my old school-friend, calling my attention to two discrepancies41 and a printer’s error in my new book, with one from Langridge venting42 some vexation over Minton. The rest were business communications. I breakfasted in bed. The glow of pain at my side seemed more massive. I knew it was pain, and yet, if you can understand, I did not find it very painful. I had been awake and hot and thirsty in the night, but in the morning bed felt comfortable. In the night-time I had lain thinking of things that were past; in the morning I dozed over the question of immortality43. Haddon came, punctual to the minute, with a neat black bag; and Mowbray soon followed. Their arrival stirred me up a little. I began to take a more personal interest in the proceedings45. Haddon moved the little octagonal table close to the bedside, and, with his broad back to me, began taking things out of his bag. I heard the light click of steel upon steel. My imagination, I found, was not altogether stagnant46. “Will you hurt me much?” I said in an off-hand tone.
“Not a bit,” Haddon answered over his shoulder. “We shall chloroform you. Your heart’s as sound as a bell.” And as he spoke47, I had a whiff of the pungent48 sweetness of the anaesthetic.
They stretched me out, with a convenient exposure of my side, and, almost before I realised what was happening, the chloroform was being administered. It stings the nostrils49, and there is a suffocating50 sensation at first. I knew I should die — that this was the end of consciousness for me. And suddenly I felt that I was not prepared for death: I had a vague sense of a duty overlooked — I knew not what. What was it I had not done? I could think of nothing more to do, nothing desirable left in life; and yet I had the strangest disinclination to death. And the physical sensation was painfully oppressive. Of course the doctors did not know they were going to kill me. Possibly I struggled. Then I fell motionless, and a great silence, a monstrous51 silence, and an impenetrable blackness came upon me.
There must have been an interval52 of absolute unconsciousness, seconds or minutes. Then with a chilly53, unemotional clearness, I perceived that I was not yet dead. I was still in my body; but all the multitudinous sensations that come sweeping54 from it to make up the background of consciousness had gone, leaving me free of it all. No, not free of it all; for as yet something still held me to the poor stark55 flesh upon the bed — held me, yet not so closely that I did not feel myself external to it, independent of it, straining away from it. I do not think I saw, I do not think I heard; but I perceived all that was going on, and it was as if I both heard and saw. Haddon was bending over me, Mowbray behind me; the scalpel — it was a large scalpel — was cutting my flesh at the side under the flying ribs56. It was interesting to see myself cut like cheese, without a pang57, without even a qualm. The interest was much of a quality with that one might feel in a game of chess between strangers. Haddon’s face was firm and his hand steady; but I was surprised to perceive (how I know not) that he was feeling the gravest doubt as to his own wisdom in the conduct of the operation.
Mowbray’s thoughts, too, I could see. He was thinking that Haddon’s manner showed too much of the specialist. New suggestions came up like bubbles through a stream of frothing meditation39, and burst one after another in the little bright spot of his consciousness. He could not help noticing and admiring Haddon’s swift dexterity58, in spite of his envious59 quality and his disposition60 to detract. I saw my liver exposed. I was puzzled at my own condition. I did not feel that I was dead, but I was different in some way from my living self. The grey depression, that had weighed on me for a year or more and coloured all my thoughts, was gone. I perceived and thought without any emotional tint61 at all. I wondered if everyone perceived things in this way under chloroform, and forgot it again when he came out of it. It would be inconvenient62 to look into some heads, and not forget.
Although I did not think that I was dead, I still perceived quite clearly that I was soon to die. This brought me back to the consideration of Haddon’s proceedings. I looked into his mind, and saw that he was afraid of cutting a branch of the portal vein63. My attention was distracted from details by the curious changes going on in his mind. His consciousness was like the quivering little spot of light which is thrown by the mirror of a galvanometer. His thoughts ran under it like a stream, some through the focus bright and distinct, some shadowy in the half-light of the edge. Just now the little glow was steady; but the least movement on Mowbray’s part, the slightest sound from outside, even a faint difference in the slow movement of the living flesh he was cutting, set the light-spot shivering and spinning. A new sense-impression came rushing up through the flow of thoughts; and lo! the light-spot jerked away towards it, swifter than a frightened fish. It was wonderful to think that upon that unstable64, fitful thing depended all the complex motions of the man; that for the next five minutes, therefore, my life hung upon its movements. And he was growing more and more nervous in his work. It was as if a little picture of a cut vein grew brighter, and struggled to oust65 from his brain another picture of a cut falling short of the mark. He was afraid: his dread66 of cutting too little was battling with his dread of cutting too far.
Then, suddenly, like an escape of water from under a lock-gate, a great uprush of horrible realisation set all his thoughts swirling67, and simultaneously68 I perceived that the vein was cut. He started back with a hoarse69 exclamation70, and I saw the brown-purple blood gather in a swift bead71, and run trickling72. He was horrified73. He pitched the red-stained scalpel on to the octagonal table; and instantly both doctors flung themselves upon me, making hasty and ill-conceived efforts to remedy the disaster. “Ice!” said Mowbray, gasping74. But I knew that I was killed, though my body still clung to me.
I will not describe their belated endeavours to save me, though I perceived every detail. My perceptions were sharper and swifter than they had ever been in life; my thoughts rushed through my mind with incredible swiftness, but with perfect definition. I can only compare their crowded clarity to the effects of a reasonable dose of opium75. In a moment it would all be over, and I should be free. I knew I was immortal44, but what would happen I did not know. Should I drift off presently, like a puff76 of smoke from a gun, in some kind of half-material body, an attenuated77 version of my material self? Should I find myself suddenly among the innumerable hosts of the dead, and know the world about me for the phantasmagoria it had always seemed? Should I drift to some spiritualistic séance, and there make foolish, incomprehensible attempts to affect a purblind78 medium? It was a state of unemotional curiosity, of colourless expectation. And then I realised a growing stress upon me, a feeling as though some huge human magnet was drawing me upward out of my body. The stress grew and grew. I seemed an atom for which monstrous forces were fighting. For one brief, terrible moment sensation came back to me. That feeling of falling headlong which comes in nightmares, that feeling a thousand times intensified79, that and a black horror swept across my thoughts in a torrent80. Then the two doctors, the naked body with its cut side, the little room, swept away from under me and vanished, as a speck81 of foam82 vanishes down an eddy83.
I was in mid-air. Far below was the West End of London, receding84 rapidly,— for I seemed to be flying swiftly upward,— and as it receded85, passing westward86 like a panorama87. I could see, through the faint haze88 of smoke, the innumerable roofs chimney-set, the narrow roadways, stippled89 with people and conveyances90, the little specks91 of squares, and the church steeples like thorns sticking out of the fabric92. But it spun93 away as the earth rotated on its axis94, and in a few seconds (as it seemed) I was over the scattered95 clumps96 of town about Ealing, the little Thames a thread of blue to the south, and the Chiltern Hills and the North Downs coming up like the rim6 of a basin, far away and faint with haze. Up I rushed. And at first I had not the faintest conception what this headlong rush upward could mean.
Every moment the circle of scenery beneath me grew wider and wider, and the details of town and field, of hill and valley, got more and more hazy97 and pale and indistinct, a luminous98 grey was mingled99 more and more with the blue of the hills and the green of the open meadows; and a little patch of cloud, low and far to the west, shone ever more dazzlingly white. Above, as the veil of atmosphere between myself and outer space grew thinner, the sky, which had been a fair springtime blue at first, grew deeper and richer in colour, passing steadily100 through the intervening shades, until presently it was as dark as the blue sky of midnight, and presently as black as the blackness of a frosty starlight, and at last as black as no blackness I had ever beheld. And first one star, and then many, and at last an innumerable host broke out upon the sky: more stars than anyone has ever seen from the face of the earth. For the blueness of the sky in the light of the sun and stars sifted101 and spread abroad blindingly: there is diffused102 light even in the darkest skies of winter, and we do not see the stars by day only because of the dazzling irradiation of the sun. But now I saw things — I know not how; assuredly with no mortal eyes — and that defect of bedazzlement blinded me no longer. The sun was incredibly strange and wonderful. The body of it was a disc of blinding white light: not yellowish, as it seems to those who live upon the earth, but livid white, all streaked103 with scarlet104 streaks105 and rimmed106 about with a fringe of writhing tongues of red fire. And shooting half-way across the heavens from either side of it and brighter than the Milky107 Way, were two pinions108 of silver white, making it look more like those winged globes I have seen in Egyptian sculpture than anything else I can remember upon earth. These I knew for the solar corona109, though I had never seen anything of it but a picture during the days of my earthly life.
When my attention came back to the earth again, I saw that it had fallen very far away from me. Field and town were long since indistinguishable, and all the varied110 hues111 of the country were merging112 into a uniform bright grey, broken only by the brilliant white of the clouds that lay scattered in flocculent masses over Ireland and the west of England. For now I could see the outlines of the north of France and Ireland, and all this Island of Britain, save where Scotland passed over the horizon to the north, or where the coast was blurred113 or obliterated114 by cloud. The sea was a dull grey, and darker than the land; and the whole panorama was rotating slowly towards the east.
All this had happened so swiftly that until I was some thousand miles or so from the earth I had no thought for myself. But now I perceived I had neither hands nor feet, neither parts nor organs, and that I felt neither alarm nor pain. All about me I perceived that the vacancy115 (for I had already left the air behind) was cold beyond the imagination of man; but it troubled me not. The sun’s rays shot through the void, powerless to light or heat until they should strike on matter in their course. I saw things with a serene116 self-forgetfulness, even as if I were God. And down below there, rushing away from me,— countless117 miles in a second,— where a little dark spot on the grey marked the position of London, two doctors were struggling to restore life to the poor hacked118 and outworn shell I had abandoned. I felt then such release, such serenity119 as I can compare to no mortal delight I have ever known.
It was only after I had perceived all these things that the meaning of that headlong rush of the earth grew into comprehension. Yet it was so simple, so obvious, that I was amazed at my never anticipating the thing that was happening to me. I had suddenly been cut adrift from matter: all that was material of me was there upon earth, whirling away through space, held to the earth by gravitation, partaking of the earth-inertia120, moving in its wreath of epicycles round the sun, and with the sun and the planets on their vast march through space. But the immaterial has no inertia, feels nothing of the pull of matter for matter: where it parts from its garment of flesh, there it remains121 (so far as space concerns it any longer) immovable in space. I was not leaving the earth: the earth was leaving me, and not only the earth but the whole solar system was streaming past. And about me in space, invisible to me, scattered in the wake of the earth upon its journey, there must be an innumerable multitude of souls, stripped like myself of the material, stripped like myself of the passions of the individual and the generous emotions of the gregarious122 brute123, naked intelligences, things of new-born wonder and thought, marvelling124 at the strange release that had suddenly come on them!
As I receded faster and faster from the strange white sun in the black heavens, and from the broad and shining earth upon which my being had begun, I seemed to grow in some incredible manner vast: vast as regards this world I had left, vast as regards the moments and periods of a human life. Very soon I saw the full circle of the earth, slightly gibbous, like the moon when she nears her full, but very large; and the silvery shape of America was now in the noonday blaze wherein (as it seemed) little England had been basking125 but a few minutes ago. At first the earth was large, and shone in the heavens, filling a great part of them; but every moment she grew smaller and more distant. As she shrank, the broad moon in its third quarter crept into view over the rim of her disc. I looked for the constellations126. Only that part of Aries directly behind the sun and the Lion, which the earth covered, were hidden. I recognised the tortuous127, tattered band of the Milky Way with Vega very bright between sun and earth; and Sirius and Orion shone splendid against the unfathomable blackness in the opposite quarter of the heavens. The Pole Star was overhead, and the Great Bear hung over the circle of the earth. And away beneath and beyond the shining corona of the sun were strange groupings of stars I had never seen in my life — notably128 a dagger-shaped group that I knew for the Southern Cross. All these were no larger than when they had shone on earth, but the little stars that one scarce sees shone now against the setting of black vacancy as brightly as the first-magnitudes had done, while the larger worlds were points of indescribable glory and colour. Aldebaran was a spot of blood-red fire, and Sirius condensed to one point the light of innumerable sapphires129. And they shone steadily: they did not scintillate130, they were calmly glorious. My impressions had an adamantine hardness and brightness: there was no blurring131 softness, no atmosphere, nothing but infinite darkness set with the myriads132 of these acute and brilliant points and specks of light. Presently, when I looked again, the little earth seemed no bigger than the sun, and it dwindled133 and turned as I looked, until in a second’s space (as it seemed to me), it was halved134; and so it went on swiftly dwindling135. Far away in the opposite direction, a little pinkish pin’s head of light, shining steadily, was the planet Mars. I swam motionless in vacancy, and, without a trace of terror or astonishment136, watched the speck of cosmic dust we call the world fall away from me.
Presently it dawned upon me that my sense of duration had changed; that my mind was moving not faster but infinitely137 slower, that between each separate impression there was a period of many days. The moon spun once round the earth as I noted138 this; and I perceived clearly the motion of Mars in his orbit. Moreover, it appeared as if the time between thought and thought grew steadily greater, until at last a thousand years was but a moment in my perception.
At first the constellations had shone motionless against the black background of infinite space; but presently it seemed as though the group of stars about Hercules and the Scorpion139 was contracting, while Orion and Aldebaran and their neighbours were scattering140 apart. Flashing suddenly out of the darkness there came a flying multitude of particles of rock, glittering like dust-specks in a sunbeam, and encompassed141 in a faintly luminous cloud. They swirled142 all about me, and vanished again in a twinkling far behind. And then I saw that a bright spot of light, that shone a little to one side of my path, was growing very rapidly larger, and perceived that it was the planet Saturn143 rushing towards me. Larger and larger it grew, swallowing up the heavens behind it, and hiding every moment a fresh multitude, of stars. I perceived its flattened144, whirling body, its disc-like belt, and seven of its little satellites. It grew and grew, till it towered enormous; and then I plunged145 amid a streaming multitude of clashing stones and dancing dust-particles and gas-eddies, and saw for a moment the mighty146 triple belt like three concentric arches of moonlight above me, its shadow black on the boiling tumult147 below. These things happened in one-tenth of the time it takes to tell them. The planet went by like a flash of lightning; for a few seconds it blotted148 out the sun, and there and then became a mere149 black, dwindling, winged patch against the light. The earth, the mother mote150 of my being, I could no longer see.
So with a stately swiftness, in the profoundest silence, the solar system fell from me as it had been a garment, until the sun was a mere star amid the multitude of stars, with its eddy of planet-specks lost in the confused glittering of the remoter light. I was no longer a denizen151 of the solar system: I had come to the outer Universe, I seemed to grasp and comprehend the whole world of matter. Ever more swiftly the stars closed in about the spot where Antares and Vega had vanished in a phosphorescent haze, until that part of the sky had the semblance152 of a whirling mass of nebulae, and ever before me yawned vaster gaps of vacant blackness, and the stars shone fewer and fewer. It seemed as if I moved towards a point between Orion’s belt and sword; and the void about that region opened vaster and vaster every second, an incredible gulf153 of nothingness into which I was falling. Faster and ever faster the universe rushed by, a hurry of whirling motes154 at last, speeding silently into the void. Stars glowing brighter and brighter, with their circling planets catching155 the light in a ghostly fashion as I neared them, shone out and vanished again into inexistence; faint comets, clusters of meteorites156, winking157 specks of matter, eddying158 light-points, whizzed past, some perhaps a hundred millions of miles or so from me at most, few nearer, travelling with unimaginable rapidity, shooting constellations, momentary159 darts160 of fire, through that black, enormous night. More than anything else it was like a dusty draught161, sunbeam-lit. Broader and wider and deeper grew the starless space, the vacant Beyond, into which I was being drawn162. At last a quarter of the heavens was black and blank, and the whole headlong rush of stellar universe closed in behind me like a veil of light that is gathered together. It drove away from me like a monstrous jack-o’-lantern driven by the wind. I had come out into the wilderness163 of space. Ever the vacant blackness grew broader, until the hosts of the stars seemed only like a swarm164 of fiery165 specks hurrying away from me, inconceivably remote, and the darkness, the nothingness and emptiness, was about me on every side. Soon the little universe of matter, the cage of points in which I had begun to be, was dwindling, now to a whirling disc of luminous glittering, and now to one minute disc of hazy light. In a little while it would shrink to a point, and at last would vanish altogether.
Suddenly feeling came back to me — feeling in the shape of overwhelming terror; such a dread of those dark vastitudes as no words can describe, a passionate166 resurgence167 of sympathy and social desire. Were there other souls, invisible to me as I to them, about me in the blackness? or was I indeed, even as I felt, alone? Had I passed out of being into something that was neither being nor not-being? The covering of the body, the covering of matter, had been torn from me, and the hallucinations of companionship and security. Everything was black and silent. I had ceased to be. I was nothing. There was nothing, save only that infinitesimal dot of light that dwindled in the gulf. I strained myself to hear and see, and for a while there was naught168 but infinite silence, intolerable darkness, horror, and despair.
Then I saw that about the spot of light into which the whole world of matter had shrunk there was a faint glow. And in a band on either side of that the darkness was not absolute. I watched it for ages, as it seemed to me, and through the long waiting the haze grew imperceptibly more distinct. And then about the band appeared an irregular cloud of the faintest, palest brown. I felt a passionate impatience169; but the things grew brighter so slowly that they scarce seemed to change. What was unfolding itself? What was this strange reddish dawn in the interminable night of space?
The cloud’s shape was grotesque170. It seemed to be looped along its lower side into four projecting masses, and, above, it ended in a straight line. What phantom171 was it? I felt assured I had seen that figure before; but I could not think what, nor where, nor when it was. Then the realisation rushed upon me. It was a clenched172 Hand. I was alone in space, alone with this huge, shadowy Hand, upon which the whole Universe of Matter lay like an unconsidered speck of dust. It seemed as though I watched it through vast periods of time. On the forefinger173 glittered a ring; and the universe from which I had come was but a spot of light upon the ring’s curvature. And the thing that the hand gripped had the likeness174 of a black rod. Through a long eternity175 I watched this Hand, with the ring and the rod, marvelling and fearing and waiting helplessly on what might follow. It seemed as though nothing could follow: that I should watch for ever, seeing only the Hand and the thing it held, and understanding nothing of its import. Was the whole universe but a refracting speck upon some greater Being? Were our worlds but the atoms of another universe, and those again of another, and so on through an endless progression? And what was I? Was I indeed immaterial? A vague persuasion177 of a body gathering about me came into my suspense178. The abysmal179 darkness about the Hand filled with impalpable suggestions, with uncertain, fluctuating shapes.
Then, suddenly, came a sound, like the sound of a tolling180 bell: faint, as if infinitely far; muffled181, as though heard through thick swathings of darkness: a deep, vibrating resonance182, with vast gulfs of silence between each stroke. And the Hand appeared to tighten183 on the rod. And I saw far above the Hand, towards the apex184 of the darkness, a circle of dim phosphorescence, a ghostly sphere whence these sounds came throbbing185; and at the last stroke the Hand vanished, for the hour had come, and I heard a noise of many waters. But the black rod remained as a great band across the sky. And then a voice, which seemed to run to the uttermost parts of space, spoke, saying, “There will be no more pain.”
At that an almost intolerable gladness and radiance rushed in upon me, and I saw the circle shining white and bright, and the rod black and shining, and many things else distinct and clear. And the circle was the face of the clock, and the rod the rail of my bed. Haddon was standing176 at the foot, against the rail, with a small pair of scissors on his fingers; and the hands of my clock on the mantel over his shoulder were clasped together over the hour of twelve. Mowbray was washing something in a basin at the octagonal table, and at my side I felt a subdued186 feeling that could scarce be spoken of as pain.
The operation had not killed me. And I perceived, suddenly, that the dull melancholy187 of half a year was lifted from my mind.
收听单词发音 |
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recurred
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| 再发生，复发( recur的过去式和过去分词 )； 治愈 | |
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purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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humiliated
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| 感到羞愧的 | |
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glamour
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| n.魔力，魅力；vt.迷住 | |
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primrose
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| n.樱草，最佳部分， | |
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rim
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| n.(圆物的)边，轮缘；边界 | |
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laboriously
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| adv.艰苦地；费力地；辛勤地；（文体等）佶屈聱牙地 | |
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dormant
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| adj.暂停活动的；休眠的；潜伏的 | |
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stagnating
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| v.停滞，不流动，不发展( stagnate的现在分词 ) | |
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physiology
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| n.生理学，生理机能 | |
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ace
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| n.A牌；发球得分；佼佼者；adj.杰出的 | |
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tranquil
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| adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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numbness
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| n.无感觉，麻木，惊呆 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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propensity
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| n.倾向；习性 | |
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imminent
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| adj.即将发生的，临近的，逼近的 | |
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18
barge
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| n.平底载货船，驳船 | |
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19
anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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20
presentiment
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| n.预感，预觉 | |
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21
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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22
meshes
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| 网孔( mesh的名词复数 )； 网状物； 陷阱； 困境 | |
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23
isolated
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| adj.与世隔绝的 | |
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24
gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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25
dozed
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| v.打盹儿，打瞌睡( doze的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26
withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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27
tattered
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| adj.破旧的，衣衫破的 | |
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28
insurgent
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| adj.叛乱的，起事的；n.叛乱分子 | |
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29
cemetery
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| n.坟墓，墓地，坟场 | |
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30
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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31
writhing
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的现在分词 ) | |
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32
stifle
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| vt.使窒息；闷死；扼杀；抑止，阻止 | |
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33
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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34
torpid
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| adj.麻痹的，麻木的，迟钝的 | |
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35
maze
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| n.迷宫，八阵图，混乱，迷惑 | |
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36
shaft
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| n.(工具的)柄，杆状物 | |
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37
bruised
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| [医]青肿的，瘀紫的 | |
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38
meditations
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| 默想( meditation的名词复数 )； 默念； 沉思； 冥想 | |
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39
meditation
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| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
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40
dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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41
discrepancies
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| n.差异，不符合（之处），不一致（之处）( discrepancy的名词复数 ) | |
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42
venting
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| 消除； 泄去； 排去； 通风 | |
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43
immortality
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| n.不死，不朽 | |
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44
immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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45
proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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46
stagnant
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| adj.不流动的，停滞的，不景气的 | |
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47
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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48
pungent
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| adj.（气味、味道）刺激性的，辛辣的；尖锐的 | |
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49
nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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50
suffocating
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| a.使人窒息的 | |
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51
monstrous
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| adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的 | |
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52
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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53
chilly
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| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
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54
sweeping
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| adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的 | |
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55
stark
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| adj.荒凉的；严酷的；完全的；adv.完全地 | |
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56
ribs
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| n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 )；（船或屋顶等的）肋拱；肋骨状的东西；（织物的）凸条花纹 | |
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57
pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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58
dexterity
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| n.(手的)灵巧，灵活 | |
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59
envious
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| adj.嫉妒的，羡慕的 | |
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60
disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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61
tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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62
inconvenient
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| adj.不方便的，令人感到麻烦的 | |
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63
vein
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| n.血管，静脉；叶脉，纹理；情绪；vt.使成脉络 | |
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64
unstable
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| adj.不稳定的，易变的 | |
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65
oust
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| vt.剥夺，取代，驱逐 | |
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66
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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67
swirling
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| v.旋转，打旋( swirl的现在分词 ) | |
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68
simultaneously
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| adv.同时发生地，同时进行地 | |
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69
hoarse
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| adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的 | |
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70
exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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71
bead
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| n.念珠；(pl.)珠子项链；水珠 | |
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72
trickling
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| n.油画底色含油太多而成泡沫状突起v.滴( trickle的现在分词 )；淌；使)慢慢走；缓慢移动 | |
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73
horrified
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| a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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74
gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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75
opium
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| n.鸦片；adj.鸦片的 | |
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76
puff
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| n.一口(气)；一阵(风)；v.喷气，喘气 | |
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77
attenuated
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|
| v.（使）变细( attenuate的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）变薄；（使）变小；减弱 | |
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78
purblind
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|
| adj.半盲的；愚笨的 | |
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79
intensified
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| v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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80
torrent
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| n.激流，洪流；爆发，(话语等的)连发 | |
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81
speck
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| n.微粒，小污点，小斑点 | |
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82
foam
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| v./n.泡沫，起泡沫 | |
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83
eddy
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| n.漩涡，涡流 | |
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84
receding
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|
| v.逐渐远离( recede的现在分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题 | |
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85
receded
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|
| v.逐渐远离( recede的过去式和过去分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题 | |
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86
westward
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|
| n.西方，西部；adj.西方的，向西的；adv.向西 | |
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87
panorama
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| n.全景，全景画，全景摄影，全景照片[装置] | |
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88
haze
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|
| n.霾，烟雾；懵懂，迷糊；vi.(over)变模糊 | |
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89
stippled
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| v.加点、绘斑，加粒( stipple的过去式和过去分词 )；（把油漆、水泥等的表面）弄粗糙 | |
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90
conveyances
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| n.传送( conveyance的名词复数 )；运送；表达；运输工具 | |
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91
specks
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| n.眼镜；斑点，微粒，污点( speck的名词复数 ) | |
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92
fabric
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| n.织物，织品，布；构造，结构，组织 | |
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93
spun
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| v.纺，杜撰，急转身 | |
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94
axis
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| n.轴，轴线，中心线；坐标轴，基准线 | |
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95
scattered
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|
| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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96
clumps
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| n.（树、灌木、植物等的）丛、簇( clump的名词复数 )；（土、泥等）团；块；笨重的脚步声v.（树、灌木、植物等的）丛、簇( clump的第三人称单数 )；（土、泥等）团；块；笨重的脚步声 | |
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97
hazy
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| adj.有薄雾的，朦胧的；不肯定的，模糊的 | |
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98
luminous
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| adj.发光的，发亮的；光明的；明白易懂的；有启发的 | |
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99
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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100
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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101
sifted
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| v.筛( sift的过去式和过去分词 )；筛滤；细查；详审 | |
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102
diffused
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| 散布的，普及的，扩散的 | |
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103
streaked
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| adj.有条斑纹的，不安的v.快速移动( streak的过去式和过去分词 )；使布满条纹 | |
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104
scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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105
streaks
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| n.（与周围有所不同的）条纹( streak的名词复数 )；（通常指不好的）特征（倾向）；（不断经历成功或失败的）一段时期v.快速移动( streak的第三人称单数 )；使布满条纹 | |
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106
rimmed
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|
| adj.有边缘的，有框的v.沿…边缘滚动；给…镶边 | |
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107
milky
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| adj.牛奶的，多奶的；乳白色的 | |
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108
pinions
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| v.抓住[捆住]（双臂）( pinion的第三人称单数 ) | |
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109
corona
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| n.日冕 | |
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110
varied
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| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
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111
hues
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| 色彩( hue的名词复数 )； 色调； 信仰； 观点 | |
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112
merging
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| 合并（分类） | |
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113
blurred
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| v.（使）变模糊( blur的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）难以区分；模模糊糊；迷离 | |
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114
obliterated
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| v.除去( obliterate的过去式和过去分词 )；涂去；擦掉；彻底破坏或毁灭 | |
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115
vacancy
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| n.（旅馆的）空位，空房，（职务的）空缺 | |
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116
serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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117
countless
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| adj.无数的，多得不计其数的 | |
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118
hacked
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| 生气 | |
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119
serenity
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| n.宁静，沉着，晴朗 | |
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120
inertia
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| adj.惰性，惯性，懒惰，迟钝 | |
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121
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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122
gregarious
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| adj.群居的，喜好群居的 | |
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123
brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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124
marvelling
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| v.惊奇，对…感到惊奇( marvel的现在分词 ) | |
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125
basking
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| v.晒太阳，取暖( bask的现在分词 )；对…感到乐趣；因他人的功绩而出名；仰仗…的余泽 | |
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126
constellations
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| n.星座( constellation的名词复数 )；一群杰出人物；一系列（相关的想法、事物）；一群（相关的人） | |
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127
tortuous
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| adj.弯弯曲曲的，蜿蜒的 | |
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128
notably
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| adv.值得注意地，显著地，尤其地，特别地 | |
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129
sapphires
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| n.蓝宝石，钢玉宝石( sapphire的名词复数 )；蔚蓝色 | |
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130
scintillate
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| v.闪烁火光；放出火花 | |
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131
blurring
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| n.模糊，斑点甚多，（图像的）混乱v.（使）变模糊( blur的现在分词 )；（使）难以区分 | |
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132
myriads
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| n.无数，极大数量( myriad的名词复数 ) | |
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133
dwindled
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| v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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134
halved
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| v.把…分成两半( halve的过去式和过去分词 )；把…减半；对分；平摊 | |
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135
dwindling
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| adj.逐渐减少的v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的现在分词 ) | |
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136
astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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137
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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138
noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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139
scorpion
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| n.蝎子，心黑的人，蝎子鞭 | |
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140
scattering
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| n.[物]散射；散乱，分散；在媒介质中的散播adj.散乱的；分散在不同范围的；广泛扩散的；（选票）数量分散的v.散射(scatter的ing形式)；散布；驱散 | |
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141
encompassed
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| v.围绕( encompass的过去式和过去分词 )；包围；包含；包括 | |
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142
swirled
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| v.旋转，打旋( swirl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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143
Saturn
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| n.农神，土星 | |
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144
flattened
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| [医]（水）平扁的，弄平的 | |
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145
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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146
mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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147
tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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148
blotted
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| 涂污( blot的过去式和过去分词 )； （用吸墨纸）吸干 | |
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149
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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150
mote
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| n.微粒；斑点 | |
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151
denizen
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| n.居民，外籍居民 | |
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152
semblance
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| n.外貌，外表 | |
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153
gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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154
motes
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| n.尘埃( mote的名词复数 )；斑点 | |
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155
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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156
meteorites
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| n.陨星( meteorite的名词复数 ) | |
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157
winking
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| n.瞬眼，目语v.使眼色( wink的现在分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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158
eddying
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| 涡流，涡流的形成 | |
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159
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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160
darts
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| n.掷飞镖游戏；飞镖( dart的名词复数 )；急驰，飞奔v.投掷，投射( dart的第三人称单数 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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161
draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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162
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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163
wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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164
swarm
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| n.(昆虫)等一大群；vi.成群飞舞；蜂拥而入 | |
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165
fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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166
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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167
resurgence
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| n.再起，复活，再现 | |
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168
naught
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| n.无，零 [=nought] | |
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169
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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170
grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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171
phantom
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| n.幻影，虚位，幽灵；adj.错觉的，幻影的，幽灵的 | |
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172
clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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173
forefinger
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| n.食指 | |
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174
likeness
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| n.相像，相似（之处） | |
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175
eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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176
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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177
persuasion
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| n.劝说；说服；持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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178
suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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179
abysmal
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| adj.无底的，深不可测的，极深的；糟透的，极坏的；完全的 | |
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180
tolling
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| [财]来料加工 | |
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181
muffled
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| adj.（声音）被隔的；听不太清的；（衣服）裹严的；蒙住的v.压抑，捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 )；用厚厚的衣帽包着（自己） | |
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182
resonance
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| n.洪亮；共鸣；共振 | |
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183
tighten
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| v.(使)变紧；(使)绷紧 | |
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184
apex
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| n.顶点，最高点 | |
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185
throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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186
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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187
melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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