THE news was all over town in two minutes, and you could see the people tearing down on the run from every which way, some of them putting on their coats as they come. Pretty soon we was in the middle of a crowd, and the noise of the tramping was like a soldier march. The windows and dooryards was full; and every minute somebody would say, over a fence:
"Is it THEM?"
And somebody trotting1 along with the gang would answer back and say:
"You bet it is."
When we got to the house the street in front of it was packed, and the three girls was standing2 in the door. Mary Jane WAS red-headed, but that don't make no difference, she was most awful beautiful, and her face and her eyes was all lit up like glory, she was so glad her uncles was come. The king he spread his arms, and Marsy Jane she jumped for them, and the hare-lip jumped for the duke, and there they HAD it! Everybody most, leastways women, cried for joy to see them meet again at last and have such good times.
Then the king he hunched3 the duke private -- I see him do it -- and then he looked around and see the coffin4, over in the corner on two chairs; so then him and the duke, with a hand across each other's shoulder, and t'other hand to their eyes, walked slow and solemn over there, everybody dropping back to give them room, and all the talk and noise stopping, people saying "Sh!" and all the men taking their hats off and drooping5 their heads, so you could a heard a pin fall. And when they got there they bent6 over and looked in the coffin, and took one sight, and then they bust7 out a-crying so you could a heard them to Orleans, most; and then they put their arms around each other's necks, and hung their chins over each other's shoulders; and then for three minutes, or maybe four, I never see two men leak the way they done. And, mind you, everybody was doing the same; and the place was that damp I never see anything like it. Then one of them got on one side of the coffin, and t'other on t'other side, and they kneeled down and rested their foreheads on the coffin, and let on to pray all to themselves. Well, when it come to that it worked the crowd like you never see anything like it, and everybody broke down and went to sobbing8 right out loud -- the poor girls, too; and every woman, nearly, went up to the girls, without saying a word, and kissed them, solemn, on the forehead, and then put their hand on their head, and looked up towards the sky, with the tears running down, and then busted9 out and went off sobbing and swabbing, and give the next woman a show. I never see anything so disgusting.
Well, by and by the king he gets up and comes forward a little, and works himself up and slobbers out a speech, all full of tears and flapdoodle about its being a sore trial for him and his poor brother to lose the diseased, and to miss seeing diseased alive after the long journey of four thousand mile, but it's a trial that's sweetened and sanctified to us by this dear sympathy and these holy tears, and so he thanks them out of his heart and out of his brother's heart, because out of their mouths they can't, words being too weak and cold, and all that kind of rot and slush, till it was just sickening; and then he blubbers out a pious11 goody-goody Amen, and turns himself loose and goes to crying fit to bust.
And the minute the words were out of his mouth somebody over in the crowd struck up the doxolojer, and everybody joined in with all their might, and it just warmed you up and made you feel as good as church letting out. Music is a good thing; and after all that soul-butter and hogwash I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully12.
Then the king begins to work his jaw13 again, and says how him and his nieces would be glad if a few of the main principal friends of the family would take supper here with them this evening, and help set up with the ashes of the diseased; and says if his poor brother laying yonder could speak he knows who he would name, for they was names that was very dear to him, and mentioned often in his letters; and so he will name the same, to wit, as follows, vizz.: -- Rev14. Mr. Hobson, and Deacon Lot Hovey, and Mr. Ben Rucker, and Abner Shackleford, and Levi Bell, and Dr. Robinson, and their wives, and the widow Bartley.
Rev. Hobson and Dr. Robinson was down to the end of the town a-hunting together -- that is, I mean the doctor was shipping15 a sick man to t'other world, and the preacher was pinting him right. Lawyer Bell was away up to Louisville on business. But the rest was on hand, and so they all come and shook hands with the king and thanked him and talked to him; and then they shook hands with the duke and didn't say nothing, but just kept a-smiling and bobbing their heads like a passel of sapheads whilst he made all sorts of signs with his hands and said "Goo-goo -- goo-goo-goo" all the time, like a baby that can't talk.
So the king he blattered along, and managed to inquire about pretty much everybody and dog in town, by his name, and mentioned all sorts of little things that happened one time or another in the town, or to George's family, or to Peter. And he always let on that Peter wrote him the things; but that was a lie: he got every blessed one of them out of that young flathead that we canoed up to the steamboat.
Then Mary Jane she fetched the letter her father left behind, and the king he read it out loud and cried over it. It give the dwelling-house and three thousand dollars, gold, to the girls; and it give the tanyard (which was doing a good business), along with some other houses and land (worth about seven thousand), and three thousand dollars in gold to Harvey and William, and told where the six thousand cash was hid down cellar. So these two frauds said they'd go and fetch it up, and have everything square and aboveboard; and told me to come with a candle. We shut the cellar door behind us, and when they found the bag they spilt it out on the floor, and it was a lovely sight, all them yaller-boys. My, the way the king's eyes did shine! He slaps the duke on the shoulder and says:
"Oh, THIS ain't bully nor noth'n! Oh, no, I reckon not! Why, Biljy, it beats the Nonesuch, DON'T it?"
The duke allowed it did. They pawed the yallerboys, and sifted16 them through their fingers and let them jingle17 down on the floor; and the king says:
"It ain't no use talkin'; bein' brothers to a rich dead man and representatives of furrin heirs that's got left is the line for you and me, Bilge. Thish yer comes of trust'n to Providence18. It's the best way, in the long run. I've tried 'em all, and ther' ain't no better way."
Most everybody would a been satisfied with the pile, and took it on trust; but no, they must count it. So they counts it, and it comes out four hundred and fifteen dollars short. Says the king:
"Dern him, I wonder what he done with that four hundred and fifteen dollars?"
They worried over that awhile, and ransacked19 all around for it. Then the duke says:
"Well, he was a pretty sick man, and likely he made a mistake -- I reckon that's the way of it. The best way's to let it go, and keep still about it. We can spare it."
"Oh, shucks, yes, we can SPARE it. I don't k'yer noth'n 'bout10 that -- it's the COUNT I'm thinkin' about. We want to be awful square and open and above-board here, you know. We want to lug20 this h-yer money up stairs and count it before everybody -- then ther' ain't noth'n suspicious. But when the dead man says ther's six thous'n dollars, you know, we don't want to --"
"Hold on," says the duke. "Le's make up the deffisit," and he begun to haul out yaller-boys out of his pocket.
"It's a most amaz'n' good idea, duke -- you HAVE got a rattlin' clever head on you," says the king. "Blest if the old Nonesuch ain't a heppin' us out agin," and HE begun to haul out yaller-jackets and stack them up.
It most busted them, but they made up the six thousand clean and clear.
"Say," says the duke, "I got another idea. Le's go up stairs and count this money, and then take and GIVE IT TO THE GIRLS."
"Good land, duke, lemme hug you! It's the most dazzling idea 'at ever a man struck. You have cert'nly got the most astonishin' head I ever see. Oh, this is the boss dodge21, ther' ain't no mistake 'bout it. Let 'em fetch along their suspicions now if they want to -- this 'll lay 'em out."
When we got up-stairs everybody gethered around the table, and the king he counted it and stacked it up, three hundred dollars in a pile -- twenty elegant little piles. Everybody looked hungry at it, and licked their chops. Then they raked it into the bag again, and I see the king begin to swell22 himself up for another speech. He says:
"Friends all, my poor brother that lays yonder has done generous by them that's left behind in the vale of sorrers. He has done generous by these yer poor little lambs that he loved and sheltered, and that's left fatherless and motherless. Yes, and we that knowed him knows that he would a done MORE generous by 'em if he hadn't ben afeard o' woundin' his dear William and me. Now, WOULDN'T he? Ther' ain't no question 'bout it in MY mind. Well, then, what kind o' brothers would it be that 'd stand in his way at sech a time? And what kind o' uncles would it be that 'd rob -- yes, ROB -- sech poor sweet lambs as these 'at he loved so at sech a time? If I know William -- and I THINK I do -- he -- well, I'll jest ask him." He turns around and begins to make a lot of signs to the duke with his hands, and the duke he looks at him stupid and leatherheaded a while; then all of a sudden he seems to catch his meaning, and jumps for the king, goo-gooing with all his might for joy, and hugs him about fifteen times before he lets up. Then the king says, "I knowed it; I reckon THAT 'll convince anybody the way HE feels about it. Here, Mary Jane, Susan, Joanner, take the money -- take it ALL. It's the gift of him that lays yonder, cold but joyful23."
Mary Jane she went for him, Susan and the hare-lip went for the duke, and then such another hugging and kissing I never see yet. And everybody crowded up with the tears in their eyes, and most shook the hands off of them frauds, saying all the time:
"You DEAR good souls! -- how LOVELY! -- how COULD you!"
Well, then, pretty soon all hands got to talking about the diseased again, and how good he was, and what a loss he was, and all that; and before long a big iron-jawed man worked himself in there from outside, and stood a-listening and looking, and not saying anything; and nobody saying anything to him either, because the king was talking and they was all busy listening. The king was saying -- in the middle of something he'd started in on --
"-- they bein' partickler friends o' the diseased. That's why they're invited here this evenin'; but tomorrow we want ALL to come -- everybody; for he respected everybody, he liked everybody, and so it's fitten that his funeral orgies sh'd be public."
And so he went a-mooning on and on, liking24 to hear himself talk, and every little while he fetched in his funeral orgies again, till the duke he couldn't stand it no more; so he writes on a little scrap25 of paper, "OBSEQUIES, you old fool," and folds it up, and goes to goo-gooing and reaching it over people's heads to him. The king he reads it and puts it in his pocket, and says:
"Poor William, afflicted26 as he is, his HEART'S aluz right. Asks me to invite everybody to come to the funeral -- wants me to make 'em all welcome. But he needn't a worried -- it was jest what I was at."
Then he weaves along again, perfectly27 ca'm, and goes to dropping in his funeral orgies again every now and then, just like he done before. And when he done it the third time he says:
"I say orgies, not because it's the common term, because it ain't -- obsequies bein' the common term -- but because orgies is the right term. Obsequies ain't used in England no more now -- it's gone out. We say orgies now in England. Orgies is better, because it means the thing you're after more exact. It's a word that's made up out'n the Greek ORGO, outside, open, abroad; and the Hebrew JEESUM, to plant, cover up; hence inTER28. So, you see, funeral orgies is an open er public funeral."
He was the WORST I ever struck. Well, the ironjawed man he laughed right in his face. Everybody was shocked. Everybody says, "Why, DOCTOR!" and Abner Shackleford says:
"Why, Robinson, hain't you heard the news? This is Harvey Wilks."
The king he smiled eager, and shoved out his flapper, and says:
"Is it my poor brother's dear good friend and physician? I --"
"Keep your hands off of me!" says the doctor. "YOU talk like an Englishman, DON'T you? It's the worst imitation I ever heard. YOU Peter Wilks's brother! You're a fraud, that's what you are!"
Well, how they all took on! They crowded around the doctor and tried to quiet him down, and tried to explain to him and tell him how Harvey 'd showed in forty ways that he WAS Harvey, and knowed everybody by name, and the names of the very dogs, and begged and BEGGED him not to hurt Harvey's feelings and the poor girl's feelings, and all that. But it warn't no use; he stormed right along, and said any man that pretended to be an Englishman and couldn't imitate the lingo29 no better than what he did was a fraud and a liar30. The poor girls was hanging to the king and crying; and all of a sudden the doctor ups and turns on THEM. He says:
"I was your father's friend, and I'm your friend; and I warn you as a friend, and an honest one that wants to protect you and keep you out of harm and trouble, to turn your backs on that scoundrel and have nothing to do with him, the ignorant tramp, with his idiotic31 Greek and Hebrew, as he calls it. He is the thinnest kind of an impostor -- has come here with a lot of empty names and facts which he picked up somewheres, and you take them for PROOFS, and are helped to fool yourselves by these foolish friends here, who ought to know better. Mary Jane Wilks, you know me for your friend, and for your unselfish friend, too. Now listen to me; turn this pitiful rascal32 out -- I BEG you to do it. Will you?"
Mary Jane straightened herself up, and my, but she was handsome! She says:
"HERE is my answer." She hove up the bag of money and put it in the king's hands, and says, "Take this six thousand dollars, and invest for me and my sisters any way you want to, and don't give us no receipt for it."
Then she put her arm around the king on one side, and Susan and the hare-lip done the same on the other. Everybody clapped their hands and stomped33 on the floor like a perfect storm, whilst the king held up his head and smiled proud. The doctor says:
"All right; I wash MY hands of the matter. But I warn you all that a time 's coming when you're going to feel sick whenever you think of this day." And away he went.
"All right, doctor," says the king, kinder mocking him; "we'll try and get 'em to send for you;" which made them all laugh, and they said it was a prime good hit.
不出两分钟，消息就便传遍了镇上。人们打四面八方飞快地跑过来，有些人还边跑边穿衣服。一会儿，我们就被一群人围到了当中，身边的脚步声如同是部队在行军。窗户底下和院子里人都满了，每隔一小段时间，就会有人隔着墙问："是（他们）吗？"跟着这伙人一块儿跑的人就应声回答道："一定是。"当我们来到那所房子时，门前那道街都给挤满了，三个姑娘就在正门口站着。玛丽·简果然是红头发，倒也没什么，她还是出奇的漂亮，看到她的叔叔和伯伯来了，她的脸和眼睛都兴奋得光彩照人。国王一张双臂，玛丽·简跳过去就抱住了，那个豁嘴儿跳上去搂住公爵，可真是热闹啊！看到他们终于团聚了，又这么愉快，几乎在场的每个人，至少是女人们，高兴得全哭了。
后来，国王稍稍推了一下公爵--我看到他推了--接着他四下瞅瞅，看见了棺材，停在屋子一角，架在两把椅子上。这阵，他与公爵一只手搭在另一个人肩膀上，一只手捂着眼睛，庄严地慢慢儿走过去，大家都向后撤，给他们让开，一切的话语喧哗全都止住了，有些人"嘘！" 了一声，男人都脱掉帽子，垂下头，静得你都可以听到一根针落地的声音。他们走到棺材旁，弯下腰，向棺材里头瞧，只看了一眼就张嘴大哭，那哭声在奥尔良几乎也能听见，然后，他们用胳膊围住对方的脖子，下巴支在对方肩上，流起了眼泪；过了差不多有三四分钟，我真没见过两个男人那么个哭法儿。告诉你吧，大家还都那么哭，眼泪把那片地都给弄湿了。接着，他俩一个人走到棺材这边，一个人走到另一边，跪倒在地，脑门顶着棺材，假装在默默祷告。嗨，他们的戏演到这种地步，把那帮人都给弄得难受到顶了，那场面你可没见过。因此，每个人都受不了啦，刚才还小声哭，立马就大声嚎起来了，那几个可怜的姑娘也哭了，几乎所有的妇女都走到女孩跟前，一言不发，神情肃穆地亲她们的脑门，又把手搁在她们头上，仰脸朝天看，眼泪直流，然后放声大哭，后来慢慢儿抽泣抹眼角儿，做给身边的女人看。恶心到了极点。
后来国王站起来，朝前挪一点，拼命做作，边流口水边讲话，一把鼻涕一把泪，胡扯什么他和弟弟丧失了亲人，他们打四千英里外老远赶来，却没见着病人最后一面，想来实在叫人伤心哪，可是，大家深切地同情和圣洁的泪水又令我们伤透的心感到甜蜜和神圣，所以他打自己心眼儿里也打他兄弟心眼儿里感谢大家，由于无法用嘴巴表达感谢，他们认为言语太冰冷太微不足道，如此等等。都是这一套胡扯瞎说的废话，真叫人恶心透了。后来，他又假装正经，很虔诚地哭着叫了一声"阿门"，随即又由着性子扯开嗓门哭得歇斯底里。
他的话刚完，人群中就有人开始唱赞美诗，大家都使足了劲一块儿唱，叫你心里热乎乎的，就跟教堂礼拜完了一个样。音乐可是个好东西，在听过那一大堆哄人的废话之后，我还真不知道它能如此让人振奋，听着这么实在，这么动听。
接着，国王又开始信口胡谄了。他说如果这家的几位至交好友能留下来和他们共进晚餐，帮着他们料理死者后事，他和几个侄女将不胜欣慰，他还说他可怜的兄弟躺在那儿，要是能开口说话，他肯定知道该请哪几位，因为这些名字对他都相当亲切，常在信中提到，所以，为了证实，他将把这些名字说出来，那就是--牧师霍布森先生，洛特·哈维执事，本·罗克先生，阿布纳·沙克尔福特，还有莱维·贝尔，罗宾逊医生，别外他们的太太，还有巴特莱寡妇。
霍布森牧师和罗宾逊医生到镇那头去了，一起去干他们的拿手好戏，我的意思是，医生将一个病人送到另一个世界，牧师为他指点正道。贝尔律师有事到路易斯维尔去了。其余的人都在，所以，他们全过来和国王握手，向他道谢，朝他寒暄；然后，他们又与公爵握手，不说任何言语，只是陪着笑脸点着头，象个傻瓜。公爵呢，打着各种各样的手势，嘴里不住地"咕--咕--咕--咕--咕"叫着，像个不会说话的娃娃。所以，国王又哇哩哇啦地讲下去，他说到镇上的很多名字，询问每个人每条狗的情况，提到镇上不同时候发生过的各样小事，或问乔治的家人，或问彼得的近况，他总专门让人听出来这些是彼得在信里告诉他的，可那是在撒谎，每一点情况他都是从我们让他搭船的那个年轻傻瓜的嘴里套出来的。
后来，玛丽·简拿来她父亲生前留下的那信，国王高声朗读一遍，又大哭了一场。信上把住宅和三千块钱留给那三个姑娘，把皮革厂(那可是个好生意)，还有其他的房子和地(大概值七千块)与三千块金币留给哈维和威廉，还写着那六千块现金藏的地方，在地窖内。于是，那两个骗子说他们要把钱取来，做事要光明磊落，明摆在桌面上，叫我拿根蜡烛跟着。我们关上地窖的门，当他们寻到了那个袋子，就把钱倒到了地上，那可真好看，全都是金币。我的天哪，你看国王那眼神有多亮！他拍拍公爵的肩膀说："啊，（这）难道还不叫棒么，没有比这更棒的啦！啊，没有，我看是没有！喂，比尔奇，它压倒了皇室奇物，没（错）吧？"公爵说的确是。他们把金币抓在手中，让金币顺着他们的指头缝儿向下落，叮叮当当掉在地上响。国王说："空谈没用，冒充阔死人的兄弟，代表他留在国外的继承人，才是你我的拿手戏，比尔奇。这类运气靠相信命运。长远来看，这是最好的。我尝试过所有的办法儿，没比这更好的。"几乎谁都会满意这么一堆钱，也能相信数目不错，可是偏不，他们非得数一数。于是他们数了一遍，结果是差了415。国王就说："真混蛋，我奇怪他拿那415 块干吗？"他们为这事干着急了一阵，四处搜这笔钱。然后公爵说："唉，他是个重病人，或许是他搞错了--我想是这么回事。最好是别管它，别提这事。我们不在乎少这点钱。""哼，废话，是啊，我们是不在乎它。我一点也不把它放在心上，我考虑的是（数目不合）。我们在这里是想做得十分光明正大，凡事上得了桌面，你要知道。我们得把这些钱扛到楼上，当众点清，这样，他们就不会再有什么怀疑了。可是既然那死人说有六千块，你知道，我们可不想..""别说啦，"公爵道，" 我们把缺数凑齐吧。" 他开始从他口袋里向外掏金币。
"这真是个绝妙的主意，公爵。你的确有个绝顶聪明的脑袋，"国王说，" 该死的皇室奇物可不是又帮了我们的忙啦。"说完（他）也开始掏出钱来，摞成堆儿。
这差不多把他们掏空了，只是他们把那六千块钱补足补够了。
"喂，"公爵说，" 我又有个主意。我们上楼去数数这笔钱，然后把钱（送给那几个姑娘。）"好极啦，公爵，让我拥抱你吧！这真是个绝妙的主意，谁会想得到！你这脑瓜简直聪明得惊人。啊，这是个绝顶妙计，一定没任何差错。这会儿就让他们犯疑心吧，要是他们怀疑的话，这一招准叫疑心打消。"我们到了楼上的时候，大家全围在桌旁，国王数了钱，将它们摞起来，三百块一摞--规规矩矩20 摞。每个人都瞧着眼馋，垂涎不己。然后，他们重新把钱拿起来，放入袋中，我看见国王开始情绪激昂，准备讲话了。他说："各位朋友，我可怜的兄弟躺在那儿，对留在身后为他的故去而悲痛伤心的人是相当慷慨的。他对这几个可怜可爱的孩子是很慷慨的，她们失去了父母双亲，他爱她们，保护过她们。是的，我们这些了解他的人全知道，如果不是他怕委屈了他亲爱的威廉和我，他对她们做理会（更加）慷慨。啊，他（会不会）呀？这没什么问题，（我）心里明白。好，那么在这时候，要是不成全他，那还是什么兄弟？这几个孩子多可怜可爱啊，他那么疼爱她们，要是在这个时候，我们来抢--对，是（抢）--这些好孩子的钱，那还要是算什么叔伯吗？如果我了解威廉--我（认为）是了解的--他--好吧，我这就去问问他。"他转过去开始向公爵打了许多手势，公爵看着他，傻乎乎木呆呆了一阵，然后突然一下子，他好像领悟了他的意思，跳向国王，使尽力气高兴得咕咕直叫着，拥抱了他大约有15 次才松开。然后，国王说，" 我本来就明白他的意思，我看（这样）会令所有的人相信（他）是怎么个想法。过来，玛丽·简，苏珊，乔安娜，把这笔钱拿去，（全都）拿去。这是躺在那儿的人他的赠礼，冰冷但是会高兴。"玛丽·简朝他走去，苏珊和那豁嘴走向公爵，然后就拥抱呀，亲吻呀，我几乎没见过。大家全围了上来，泪花儿在眼中噙着，简直要把那两个骗子的手握没，异口同声一直在说："你们（高贵）美好的心灵啊！多么可爱！你们（怎么会这么好）啊！"后来渐渐地，所有的人都谈到了死者，说他这人多好，死了多可惜，全是这一套。不一阵，一个下巴坚硬如铁的人打外面挤进来，站在那儿听着看着，不吱一声，谁也不对他讲什么，因为国王正讲话，大家都忙着在听。国王正在说，讲到半路了，他已开了头："他们是亡者特别要好的朋友。这就是他们今晚被邀留下的原因，不过明天，我们要请（所有的人）都来--每一个；因为他敬重每一个人，喜欢每一个人，因此，他的葬礼该是大家都参加才合适。"就这么着他一直稀里湖涂扯下去，好像是说给他自己听。过了一会儿，他又提到他的葬礼。后来公爵实在不能再听下去了，因此在一张小纸片上写道：" 葬礼，你个老混蛋"叠起来，咕咕叫着从人们头上递过去给他。国王读了，把它放到自己的口袋里，接着说：" 可怜的威廉，尽管他残疾，他的（心里）却总是很明白。他让我邀请每个人都来参加葬..要我对大家全表示欢迎。不过，他用不着操心，这正是我在表示的意思。"接着，他又从容不迫地说下去，十分镇静，仍然间或脱口说出了他的葬禧，就跟刚才那样。当他说到第三遍时，他这样说："我说葬禧，因为它不是个普通词，它不是；葬礼才是普通词。而葬禧才是正确的词。葬礼在英国已经不使用了，如今它被废了。在英国，我们现在讲葬禧。葬禧好一些，因为它说出了我们想说的意思，更为确切。这词是由一个希腊词语的前半部分，其原意是外面，公开的，户外的；再加一个希伯莱词的后半部分构成，希伯莱文中是挖坑儿，盖住，也就是埋葬的意思。所以，你们知道吧，葬禧就是一个公开的公众丧葬仪式。"他是我遇上的（最坏）的家伙。那个硬下巴的人冲着他大笑不止。大家都吓了一跳。都说：" 怎么啦，（医生）！" 阿布纳·沙克尔福特说："怎么，罗宾逊，你还没听说这消息吗？这就是哈维·威尔克斯。"国王热情地微笑着，伸出手说："这就是我那可怜兄弟的亲密好友和医生吗？我..""把手拿开，别过来碰我！" 那个医生说，" （你）说话是个英国人吗--就凭（你）？这是我见过的最拙劣的（模仿）。（你）会是彼得·威尔克斯的兄弟？你是个骗子，那才是你的真实身份。"啊，瞧他们有多热闹吧！他们围着医生，尽力使他平静下来，尽量给他解释，告诉他哈维已怎样从好多方面证明了他是哈维，他知道每个人的名字，甚至每条狗的名儿，他们求他，苦苦地恳求他别伤害哈维的感情和那几个可怜的姑娘的感情。什么好话都说尽了，可是都没有用，他仍然大发雷霆，说谁要冒充英国人，可外语又学得那么糟，那他就是个骗子，就是撒谎。可怜的姑娘们搂着国王的脖子一个戏儿地哭，突然，医生冲着（她们几个）发火道："我是你们父亲的朋友，我也是你们的朋友，（作为）朋友，作为一个忠诚的朋友，就要保护你们，使你们远离伤害，免遭不幸。我告诫你们，别理那个无赖，跟他断绝关系，那是个什么都不懂的流浪汉，他还说什么希腊文希伯莱文，几乎就是白痴。他是那种最容易识破的江湖骗子。他来这里讲了一大串空洞的名字和事实，不知是打哪里打听到的，而你们却把这当成是证据，这里有些糊涂的朋友本来是心知肚明的，却帮了倒忙欺骗自己。玛丽·简·威尔克斯，你知道我是你朋友，是你公正无私的朋友。现在听我的，把这个卑鄙的流氓赶出去--我（请求）你这么做。你愿意吗？"玛丽·简挺直了身子，嘿，她可真端正秀气！她说："（这）就是我的回答。" 她提起那个钱袋，把它放到国王手里，" 把这六千块钱拿去，帮我和妹妹们投资做生意，您看着办，怎么着都可以，用不着给我们打收据。"然后她从一边用胳膊搂着国王，苏珊和豁嘴楼国王另一边。大家拍手使劲鼓掌，脚跺得地板咚咚作响，仿佛打雷一般。这时，国王把头抬得高高的，神气地笑着。那个医生说："好吧，我对这件事撒手不管啦。但是，我要警告你们，你们将来一想起来这一天就会觉得难受的，那个时候就快到了。"说完他就走了。
"好吧，医生。" 国王说，口气里有几分嘲弄，" 我们会尽力劝她们过去请您的。" 话音刚落，他们便哄堂大笑，他们说这是句妙极了的挖苦话。
收听单词发音 |
1
trotting
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| 小跑，急走( trot的现在分词 )； 匆匆忙忙地走 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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hunched
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| （常指因寒冷、生病或愁苦）耸肩弓身的，伏首前倾的 | |
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coffin
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| n.棺材，灵柩 | |
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drooping
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| adj. 下垂的，无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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bust
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| vt.打破；vi.爆裂；n.半身像；胸部 | |
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sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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busted
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| adj. 破产了的，失败了的，被降级的，被逮捕的，被抓到的 动词bust的过去式和过去分词 | |
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bout
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| n.侵袭，发作；一次(阵，回)；拳击等比赛 | |
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pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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bully
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| n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮 | |
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jaw
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| n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训 | |
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rev
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| v.发动机旋转，加快速度 | |
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shipping
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| n.船运（发货，运输，乘船） | |
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16
sifted
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| v.筛( sift的过去式和过去分词 )；筛滤；细查；详审 | |
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jingle
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| n.叮当声，韵律简单的诗句；v.使叮当作响，叮当响，押韵 | |
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18
providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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ransacked
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| v.彻底搜查( ransack的过去式和过去分词 )；抢劫，掠夺 | |
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20
lug
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| n.柄，突出部，螺帽；(英）耳朵；（俚）笨蛋；vt.拖，拉，用力拖动 | |
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21
dodge
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| v.闪开，躲开，避开；n.妙计，诡计 | |
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22
swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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23
joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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24
liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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25
scrap
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| n.碎片；废料；v.废弃，报废 | |
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afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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27
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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28
inter
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| v.埋葬 | |
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29
lingo
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| n.语言不知所云，外国话，隐语 | |
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liar
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| n.说谎的人 | |
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idiotic
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| adj.白痴的 | |
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32
rascal
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| n.流氓；不诚实的人 | |
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stomped
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| v.跺脚，践踏，重踏( stomp的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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