In which it is Darkly Seen How the Criminal’s Judge May Be Love’s Criminal.
When we are losing balance on a precipice1 we do not think much of the thing we have clutched for support. Our balance is restored and we have not fallen; that is the comfortable reflection: we stand as others do, and we will for the future be warned to avoid the dizzy stations which cry for resources beyond a common equilibrium2, and where a slip precipitates3 us to ruin.
When, further, it is a woman planted in a burning blush, having to idealize her feminine weakness, that she may not rebuke4 herself for grovelling5, the mean material acts by which she sustains a tottering6 position are speedily swallowed in the one pervading7 flame. She sees but an ashen8 curl of the path she has traversed to safety, if anything.
Knowing her lover was to come in the morning, Diana’s thoughts dwelt wholly upon the way to tell him, as tenderly as possible without danger to herself, that her time for entertaining was over until she had finished her book; indefinitely, therefore. The apprehension9 of his complaining pricked10 the memory that she had something to forgive. He had sunk her in her own esteem11 by compelling her to see her woman’s softness. But how high above all other men her experience of him could place him notwithstanding! He had bowed to the figure of herself, dearer than herself, that she set before him: and it was a true figure to the world; a too fictitious12 to any but the most knightly13 of lovers. She forgave; and a shudder14 seized her.—Snake! she rebuked15 the delicious run of fire through her veins16; for she was not like the idol17 women of imperishable type, who are never for a twinkle the prey18 of the blood: statues created by man’s common desire to impress upon the sex his possessing pattern of them as domestic decorations.
When she entered the room to Dacier and they touched hands, she rejoiced in her coolness, without any other feeling or perception active. Not to be unkind, not too kind: this was her task. She waited for the passage of commonplaces.
‘You slept well, Percy?’
‘Yes; and you?’
‘I don’t think I even dreamed.’
They sat. She noticed the cloud on him and waited for his allusion19 to it, anxious concerning him simply.
Dacier flung the hair off his temples. Words of Titanic20 formation were hurling21 in his head at journals and journalists. He muttered his disgust of them.
‘Is there anything to annoy you in the papers today?’ she asked, and thought how handsome his face was in anger.
The paper of Mr. Tonans was named by him. ‘You have not seen it?
‘I have not opened it yet.’
He sprang up. ‘The truth is, those fellows can now afford to buy right and left, corrupt22 every soul alive! There must have been a spy at the keyhole. I’m pretty certain—I could swear it was not breathed to any ear but mine; and there it is this morning in black and white.’
‘What is?’ cried Diana, turning to him on her chair.
‘The thing I told you last night.’
Her lips worked, as if to spell the thing. ‘Printed, do you say?’ she rose.
‘Printed. In a leading article, loud as a trumpet23; a hue24 and cry running from end to end of the country. And my Chief has already had the satisfaction of seeing the secret he confided25 to me yesterday roared in all the thoroughfares this morning. They’ve got the facts: his decision to propose it, and the date—the whole of it! But who could have betrayed it?’
For the first time since her midnight expedition she felt a sensation of the full weight of the deed. She heard thunder.
She tried to disperse26 the growing burden by an inward summons to contempt of the journalistic profession, but nothing would come. She tried to minimize it, and her brain succumbed27. Her views of the deed last night and now throttled28 reason in two contending clutches. The enormity swelled29 its dimensions, taking shape, and pointing magnetically at her. She stood absolutely, amazedly, bare before it.
‘Is it of such very great importance?’ she said, like one supplicating30 him to lessen31 it.
‘A secret of State? If you ask whether it is of great importance to me, relatively32 it is of course. Nothing greater. Personally my conscience is clear. I never mentioned it—couldn’t have mentioned it—to any one but you. I’m not the man to blab secrets. He spoke33 to me because he knew he could trust me. To tell you the truth, I’m brought to a dead stop. I can’t make a guess.
I’m certain, from what he said, that he trusted me only with it: perfectly34 certain. I know him well. He was in his library, speaking in his usual conversational35 tone, deliberately36, nor overloud. He stated that it was a secret between us.’
‘Will it affect him?’
‘This article? Why, naturally it will. You ask strange questions. A Minister coming to a determination like that! It affects him vitally. The members of the Cabinet are not so devoted37.... It affects us all—the whole Party; may split it to pieces! There’s no reckoning the upset right and left. If it were false, it could be refuted; we could despise it as a trick of journalism38. It’s true. There’s the mischief39. Tonans did not happen to call here last night?—absurd! I left later than twelve.’
‘No, but let me hear,’ Diana said hurriedly, for the sake of uttering the veracious40 negative and to slur41 it over. ‘Let me hear...’ She could not muster42 an idea.
Her delicious thrilling voice was a comfort to him. He lifted his breast high and thumped43 it, trying to smile. ‘After all, it’s pleasant being with you, Tony. Give me your hand—you may: I ‘m bothered—confounded by this morning surprise. It was like walking against the muzzle44 of a loaded cannon45 suddenly unmasked. One can’t fathom46 the mischief it will do. And I shall be suspected, and can’t quite protest myself the spotless innocent. Not even to my heart’s mistress! to the wife of the bosom47! I suppose I’m no Roman. You won’t give me your hand? Tony, you might, seeing I am rather...’
A rush of scalding tears flooded her eyes.
‘Don’t touch me,’ she said, and forced her sight to look straight at him through the fiery48 shower. ‘I have done positive mischief?’
‘You, my dear Tony?’ He doated on her face. ‘I don’t blame you, I blame myself. These things should never be breathed. Once in the air, the devil has hold of them. Don’t take it so much to heart. The thing’s bad enough to bear as it is. Tears! Let me have the hand. I came, on my honour, with the most honest intention to submit to your orders: but if I see you weeping in sympathy!’
‘Oh! for heaven’s sake,’ she caught her hands away from him, ‘don’t be generous. Whip me with scorpions49. And don’t touch me,’ cried Diana. ‘Do you understand? You did not name it as a secret. I did not imagine it to be a secret of immense, immediate50 importance.’
‘But—what?’ shouted Dacier, stiffening51.
He wanted her positive meaning, as she perceived, having hoped that it was generally taken and current, and the shock to him over.
‘I had... I had not a suspicion of doing harm, Percy.’
‘But what harm have you done? No riddles52!’
His features gave sign of the break in their common ground, the widening gulf53.
‘I went... it was a curious giddiness: I can’t account for it. I thought...’
‘Went? You went where?’
‘Last night. I would speak intelligibly54: my mind has gone. Ah! you look. It is not so bad as my feeling.’
‘But where did you go last night? What!—to Tonans?’
She drooped55 her head: she saw the track of her route cleaving56 the darkness in a demoniacal zig-zag and herself in demon’s grip.
‘Yes,’ she confronted him. ‘I went to Mr. Tonans.’
‘Why?’
‘I went to him—’
‘You went alone?’
‘I took my maid.’
‘Well?’
‘It was late when you left me...’
‘Speak plainly!’
‘I am trying: I will tell you all.’
‘At once, if you please.’
‘I went to him—why? There is no accounting57 for it. He sneered58 constantly at my stale information.’
‘You gave him constant information?’
‘No: in our ordinary talk. He railed at me for being “out of it.” I must be childish: I went to show him—oh! my vanity! I think I must have been possessed59.’
She watched the hardening of her lover’s eyes. They penetrated60, and through them she read herself insufferably.
But it was with hesitation61 still that he said: ‘Then you betrayed me?’
‘Percy! I had not a suspicion of mischief.’
‘You went straight to this man?’
‘Not thinking...’
‘You sold me to a journalist!’
‘I thought it was a secret of a day. I don’t think you—no, you did not tell me to keep it secret. A word from you would have been enough. I was in extremity62.’
Dacier threw his hands up and broke away. He had an impulse to dash from the room, to get a breath of different air. He stood at the window, observing tradesmen’s carts, housemaids, blank doors, dogs, a beggar fifer. Her last words recurred63 to him. He turned: ‘You were in extremity, you said. What is the meaning of that? What extremity?’
Her large dark eyes flashed powerlessly; her shape appeared to have narrowed; her tongue, too, was a feeble penitent65.
‘You ask a creature to recall her acts of insanity66.’
‘There must be some signification in your words, I suppose.’
‘I will tell you as clearly as I can. You have the right to be my judge. I was in extremity—that is, I saw no means... I could not write: it was ruin coming.’
‘Ah?—you took payment for playing spy?’
‘I fancied I could retrieve67... Now I see the folly68, the baseness. I was blind.’
‘Then you sold me to a journalist for money?’
The intolerable scourge69 fetched a stifled70 scream from her and drove her pacing, but there was no escape; she returned to meet it.
The room was a cage to both of them, and every word of either was a sting.
‘Percy, I did not imagine he would use it—make use of it as he has done.’
‘Not? And when he paid for it?’
‘I fancied it would be merely of general service—if any.’
‘Distributed; I see: not leading to the exposure of the communicant!’
‘You are harsh; but I would not have you milder.’
The meekness71 of such a mischief-doer was revolting and called for the lash64.
‘Do me the favour to name the sum. I am curious to learn what my imbecility was counted worth.’
‘No sum was named.’
‘Have I been bought for a song?’
‘It was a suggestion—no definite... nothing stipulated72.’
‘You were to receive money!’
‘Leave me a bit of veiling! No, you shall behold73 me the thing I am. Listen... I was poor...’
‘You might have applied74 to me.’
‘For money! That I could not do:
‘Better than betraying me, believe me.’
‘I had no thought of betraying. I hope I could have died rather than consciously betray.’
‘Money! My whole fortune was at your, disposal.’
‘I was beset75 with debts, unable to write, and, last night when you left me, abject76. It seemed to me that you disrespected me...’
‘Last night!’ Dacier cried with lashing77 emphasis.
‘It is evident to me that I have the reptile78 in me, Percy. Or else I am subject to lose my reason. I went... I went like a bullet: I cannot describe it; I was mad. I need a strong arm, I want help. I am given to think that I do my best and can be independent; I break down. I went blindly—now I see it—for the chance of recovering my position, as the gambler casts; and he wins or loses. With me it is the soul that is lost. No exact sum was named; thousands were hinted.’
‘You are hardly practical on points of business.’
‘I was insane.’
‘I think you said you slept well after it,’ Dacier remarked.
‘I had so little the idea of having done evilly, that I slept without a dream.’
He shrugged:—the consciences of women are such smooth deeps, or running shallows.
‘I have often wondered how your newspaper men got their information,’ he said, and muttered: ‘Money-women!’ adding: ‘Idiots to prime them! And I one of the leaky vessels79! Well, we learn. I have been rather astonished at times of late at the scraps80 of secret knowledge displayed by Tonans. If he flourishes his thousands! The wonder is, he doesn’t corrupt the Ministers’ wives. Perhaps he does. Marriage will become a danger-sign to Parliamentary members. Foreign women do these tricks... women of a well-known stamp. It is now a full year, I think, since I began to speak to you of secret matters—and congratulated myself, I recollect81, on your thirst for them.’
‘Percy, if you suspect that I have uttered one word before last night, you are wrong. I cannot paint my temptation or my loss of sense last night. Previously82 I was blameless. I thirsted, yes; but in the hope of helping83 you.’
He looked at her. She perceived how glitteringly loveless his eyes had grown. It was her punishment; and though the enamoured woman’s heart protested it excessive, she accepted it.
‘I can never trust you again,’ he said.
‘I fear you will not,’ she replied.
His coming back to her after the departure of the guests last night shone on him in splendid colours of single-minded loverlike devotion. ‘I came to speak to my own heart. I thought it would give you pleasure; thought I could trust you utterly84. I had not the slightest conception I was imperilling my honour...!’
He stopped. Her bloodless fixed85 features revealed an intensity86 of anguish87 that checked him. Only her mouth, a little open for the sharp breath, appeared dumbly beseeching88. Her large eyes met his like steel to steel, as of one who would die fronting the weapon.
He strangled a loathsome89 inclination90 to admire.
‘So good bye,’ he said.
She moved her lips.
He said no more. In half a minute he was gone.
To her it was the plucking of life out of her breast.
She pressed her hands where heart had been. The pallor and cold of death took her body.
收听单词发音 |
1
precipice
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| n.悬崖，危急的处境 | |
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equilibrium
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| n.平衡，均衡，相称，均势，平静 | |
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precipitates
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| v.（突如其来地）使发生( precipitate的第三人称单数 )；促成；猛然摔下；使沉淀 | |
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rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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grovelling
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| adj.卑下的，奴颜婢膝的v.卑躬屈节，奴颜婢膝( grovel的现在分词 )；趴 | |
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tottering
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| adj.蹒跚的，动摇的v.走得或动得不稳( totter的现在分词 )；踉跄；蹒跚；摇摇欲坠 | |
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pervading
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的现在分词 ) | |
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ashen
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| adj.灰的 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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pricked
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| 刺，扎，戳( prick的过去式和过去分词 )； 刺伤； 刺痛； 使剧痛 | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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fictitious
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| adj.虚构的，假设的；空头的 | |
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knightly
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| adj. 骑士般的 adv. 骑士般地 | |
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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rebuked
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| 责难或指责( rebuke的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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idol
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| n.偶像，红人，宠儿 | |
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prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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titanic
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| adj.巨人的，庞大的，强大的 | |
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hurling
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| n.爱尔兰式曲棍球v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的现在分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
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corrupt
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| v.贿赂，收买；adj.腐败的，贪污的 | |
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trumpet
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| n.喇叭，喇叭声；v.吹喇叭，吹嘘 | |
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hue
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| n.色度；色调；样子 | |
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confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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disperse
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| vi.使分散；使消失；vt.分散；驱散 | |
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succumbed
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| 不再抵抗（诱惑、疾病、攻击等）( succumb的过去式和过去分词 )； 屈从； 被压垮； 死 | |
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throttled
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| v.扼杀( throttle的过去式和过去分词 )；勒死；使窒息；压制 | |
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swelled
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| 增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情） | |
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supplicating
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| v.祈求，哀求，恳求( supplicate的现在分词 ) | |
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31
lessen
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| vt.减少，减轻；缩小 | |
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32
relatively
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| adv.比较...地，相对地 | |
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33
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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conversational
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| adj.对话的，会话的 | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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journalism
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| n.新闻工作，报业 | |
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mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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veracious
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| adj.诚实可靠的 | |
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slur
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| v.含糊地说；诋毁；连唱；n.诋毁；含糊的发音 | |
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muster
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| v.集合，收集，鼓起，激起；n.集合，检阅，集合人员，点名册 | |
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thumped
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| v.重击， （指心脏）急速跳动( thump的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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muzzle
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| n.鼻口部；口套；枪(炮)口；vt.使缄默 | |
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cannon
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| n.大炮，火炮；飞机上的机关炮 | |
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fathom
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| v.领悟，彻底了解 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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49
scorpions
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| n.蝎子( scorpion的名词复数 ) | |
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50
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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stiffening
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| n. (使衣服等)变硬的材料, 硬化 动词stiffen的现在分词形式 | |
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riddles
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| n.谜（语）( riddle的名词复数 )；猜不透的难题，难解之谜 | |
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gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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intelligibly
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| adv.可理解地，明了地，清晰地 | |
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drooped
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| 弯曲或下垂，发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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cleaving
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| v.劈开，剁开，割开( cleave的现在分词 ) | |
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accounting
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| n.会计，会计学，借贷对照表 | |
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sneered
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| 讥笑，冷笑( sneer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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extremity
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| n.末端，尽头；尽力；终极；极度 | |
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recurred
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| 再发生，复发( recur的过去式和过去分词 )； 治愈 | |
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lash
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| v.系牢；鞭打；猛烈抨击；n.鞭打；眼睫毛 | |
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penitent
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| adj.后悔的；n.后悔者；忏悔者 | |
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insanity
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| n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐 | |
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retrieve
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| vt.重新得到，收回；挽回，补救；检索 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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69
scourge
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| n.灾难，祸害；v.蹂躏 | |
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70
stifled
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| （使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵 | |
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71
meekness
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| n.温顺，柔和 | |
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72
stipulated
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| vt.& vi.规定；约定adj.[法]合同规定的 | |
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73
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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75
beset
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| v.镶嵌；困扰，包围 | |
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abject
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| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
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77
lashing
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| n.鞭打；痛斥；大量；许多v.鞭打( lash的现在分词 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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78
reptile
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| n.爬行动物；两栖动物 | |
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79
vessels
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| n.血管( vessel的名词复数 )；船；容器；（具有特殊品质或接受特殊品质的）人 | |
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80
scraps
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| 油渣 | |
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81
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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82
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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83
helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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84
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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85
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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86
intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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87
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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88
beseeching
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| adj.恳求似的v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的现在分词 ) | |
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89
loathsome
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| adj.讨厌的，令人厌恶的 | |
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90
inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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