Chapter 18

Charlie told us a good story one Saturday night in the BISTRO. Try and picture him — drunk, but sober enough to talk consecutively¹. He bangs on the zinc² bar and yells for silence:

‘Silence, MESSIEURS ET DAMES³— silence, I implore⁴ you! Listen to this story, that I am about to tell you. A memorable⁵ story, an instructive story, one of the souvenirs of a refined and civilized⁶ life. Silence, MESSIEURS ET DAMES!

‘It happened at a time when I was hard up. You know what that is like — how damnable, that a man of refinement⁷ should ever be in such a condition. My money had not come from home; I had pawned⁸ everything, and there was nothing open to me except to work, which is a thing I will not do. I was living with a girl at the time — Yvonne her name was — a great half-witted peasant girl like Azaya there, with yellow hair and fat legs. The two of us had eaten nothing in three days. MON DIEU, what sufferings! The girl used to walk up and down the room with her hands on her belly⁹, howling like a dog that she was dying of starvation. It was terrible.

‘But to a man of intelligence nothing is impossible. I propounded¹⁰ to myself the question, “What is the easiest way to get money without working?” And immediately the answer came: “To get money easily one must be a woman. Has not every woman something to sell?” And then, as I lay reflecting upon the things I should do if I were a woman, an idea came into my head. I remembered the Government maternity¹¹ hospitals — you know the Government maternity hospitals? They are places where women who are ENCEINTE are given meals free and no questions are asked. It is done to encourage childbearing. Any woman can go there and demand a meal, and she is given it immediately.

‘“MON DIEU!” I thought, “if only I were a woman! I would eat at one of those places every day. Who can tell whether a woman is ENCEINTE or not, without an examination?”

‘I turned to Yvonne. “Stop that insufferable bawling¹².” I said, “I have thought of a way to get food.”

‘“How?” she said.

‘“It is simple,” I said. “Go to the Government maternity hospital. Tell them you are ENCEINTE and ask for food. They will give you a good meal and ask no questions.”

‘Yvonne was appalled¹³. “MAIS, MON DIEU,” she cried, “I am not ENCEINTE!”

‘“Who cares?” I said. “That is easily remedied. What do you need except a cushion — two cushions if necessary? It is an inspiration from heaven, MA CHERE. Don’t waste it.”

‘Well, in the end I persuaded her, and then we borrowed a cushion and I got her ready and took her to the maternity hospital. They received her with open arms. They gave her cabbage soup, a ragout of beef, a puree of potatoes, bread and cheese and beer, and all kinds of advice about her baby. Yvonne gorged¹⁴ till she almost burst her skin, and managed to slip some of the bread and cheese into her pocket for me. I took her there every day until I had money again. My intelligence had saved us.

‘Everything went well until a year later. I was with Yvonne again, and one day we were walking down the Boulevard Port Royal, near the barracks. Suddenly Yvonne’s mouth fell open, and she began turning red and white, and red again.

‘“MON DIEU!” she cried, “look at that who is coming! It is the nurse who was in charge at the maternity hospital. I am ruined!”

‘“Quick!” I said, “run!” But it was too late. The nurse had recognized Yvonne, and she came straight up to us, smiling. She was a big fat woman with a gold pince-nez and red cheeks like the cheeks of an apple. A motherly, interfering¹⁵ kind of woman.

‘“I hope you are well, MA PETITE?” she said kindly¹⁶. “And your baby, is he well too? Was it a boy, as you were hoping?”

‘Yvonne had begun trembling so hard that I had to grip her arm. “No,” she said at last.

‘“Ah, then, EVIDEMMENT, it was a girl?”

‘Thereupon Yvonne, the idiot, lost her head completely. “No,” she actually said again!

‘The nurse was taken aback. “COMMENT!” she exclaimed, “neither a boy nor a girl! But how can that be?”

‘Figure to yourselves, MESSIEURS ET DAMES, it was a dangerous moment. Yvonne had turned the colour of a beetroot and she looked ready to burst into tears; another second and she would have confessed everything. Heaven knows what might have happened. But as for me, I had kept my head; I stepped in and saved the situation.

‘“It was twins,” I said calmly.

‘“Twins!” exclaimed the nurse. And she was so pleased that she took Yvonne by the shoulders and embraced her on both cheeks, publicly.

‘Yes, twins . . . ’

1 consecutively   

adv.连续地

参考例句：

• He was actually too depleted to think consecutively about anything. 他已经打不起一点精神，根本谈不上好好思考一下。 来自辞典例句
• In any game, the right to serve shall pass consecutively. 在一局中，不错的发球挨次应该是。 来自互联网

2 zinc   

n.锌；vt.在...上镀锌

参考例句：

• Brass is formed by the fusion of copper and zinc.黄铜是通过铜和锌的熔合而成的。
• Zinc is used to protect other metals from corrosion.锌被用来保护其他金属不受腐蚀。

3 dames   

n.（在英国）夫人（一种封号），夫人（爵士妻子的称号）( dame的名词复数 )；女人

参考例句：

• Dames would not comment any further. Dames将不再更多的评论。 来自互联网
• Flowers, candy, jewelry, seemed the principal things in which the elegant dames were interested. 鲜花、糖果和珠宝看来是那些贵妇人的主要兴趣所在。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹

4 implore   

vt.乞求，恳求，哀求

参考例句：

• I implore you to write. At least tell me you're alive.请给我音讯，让我知道你还活着。
• Please implore someone else's help in a crisis.危险时请向别人求助。

5 memorable   

adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的

参考例句：

• This was indeed the most memorable day of my life.这的确是我一生中最值得怀念的日子。
• The veteran soldier has fought many memorable battles.这个老兵参加过许多难忘的战斗。

6 civilized   

a.有教养的，文雅的

参考例句：

• Racism is abhorrent to a civilized society. 文明社会憎恶种族主义。
• rising crime in our so-called civilized societies 在我们所谓文明社会中日益增多的犯罪行为

7 refinement   

n.文雅；高尚；精美；精制；精炼

参考例句：

• Sally is a woman of great refinement and beauty. 莎莉是个温文尔雅又很漂亮的女士。
• Good manners and correct speech are marks of refinement.彬彬有礼和谈吐得体是文雅的标志。

8 pawned   

v.典当，抵押( pawn的过去式和过去分词 )；以（某事物）担保

参考例句：

• He pawned his gold watch to pay the rent. 他抵当了金表用以交租。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• She has redeemed her pawned jewellery. 她赎回了当掉的珠宝。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 belly   

n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛

参考例句：

• The boss has a large belly.老板大腹便便。
• His eyes are bigger than his belly.他眼馋肚饱。

10 propounded   

v.提出（问题、计划等）供考虑[讨论]，提议( propound的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• the theory of natural selection, first propounded by Charles Darwin 查尔斯∙达尔文首先提出的物竞天择理论
• Indeed it was first propounded by the ubiquitous Thomas Young. 实际上，它是由尽人皆知的杨氏首先提出来的。 来自辞典例句

11 maternity   

n.母性，母道，妇产科病房；adj.孕妇的，母性的

参考例句：

• Women workers are entitled to maternity leave with full pay.女工产假期间工资照发。
• Trainee nurses have to work for some weeks in maternity.受训的护士必须在产科病房工作数周。

12 bawling   

v.大叫，大喊( bawl的现在分词 )；放声大哭；大声叫出；叫卖（货物）

参考例句：

• We heard the dulcet tones of the sergeant, bawling at us to get on parade. 我们听到中士用“悦耳”的声音向我们大喊，让我们跟上队伍。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• "Why are you bawling at me? “你向我们吼啥子？ 来自汉英文学 - 中国现代小说

13 appalled   

v.使惊骇，使充满恐惧( appall的过去式和过去分词)adj.惊骇的；丧胆的

参考例句：

• The brutality of the crime has appalled the public. 罪行之残暴使公众大为震惊。
• They were appalled by the reports of the nuclear war. 他们被核战争的报道吓坏了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

14 gorged   

v.（用食物把自己）塞饱，填饱( gorge的过去式和过去分词 )；作呕

参考例句：

• He gorged himself at the party. 在宴会上他狼吞虎咽地把自己塞饱。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The men, gorged with food, had unbuttoned their vests. 那些男人，吃得直打饱嗝，解开了背心的钮扣。 来自辞典例句

15 interfering   

adj. 妨碍的 动词interfere的现在分词

参考例句：

• He's an interfering old busybody! 他老爱管闲事！
• I wish my mother would stop interfering and let me make my own decisions. 我希望我母亲不再干预，让我自己拿主意。

16 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。