In the morning, when I was called again to see my afflicted1 cousin — Stixon junior having gladly gone to explain things for me at Bruntsea — little as I knew of any bodily pain (except hunger, or thirst, or weariness, and once in my life a headache), I stood before Lord Castlewood with a deference2 and humility3 such as I had never felt before toward any human being. Not only because he bore perpetual pain in the two degrees of night and day — the day being dark and the night jet-black — without a murmur4 or an evil word; not only because through the whole of this he had kept his mind clear and his love of knowledge bright; not even because he had managed, like Job, to love God through the whole of it. All these were good reasons for very great and very high respect of any man; and when there was no claim whatever on his part to any such feeling, it needs must come. But when I learned another thing, high respect at once became what might be called deep reverence5. And this came to pass in a simple and, as any one must confess, quite inevitable6 way.
It was not to be supposed that I could sit the whole of my first evening in that house without a soul to speak to. So far as my dignity and sense of right permitted, I wore out Mr. Stixon, so far as he would go, not asking him any thing that the very worst-minded person could call “inquisitive,” but allowing him to talk, as he seemed to like to do, while he waited upon me, and alternately lamented7 my hapless history and my hopeless want of taste.
“Ah, your father, the Captain, now, he would have knowed what this is! You’ve no right to his eyes, Miss Erma, without his tongue and palate. No more of this, miss! and done for you a-purpose! Well, cook will be put out, and no mistake! I better not let her see it go down, anyhow.” And the worthy8 man tearfully put some dainty by, perhaps without any view to his own supper.
“Lord Castlewood spoke9 to me about a Mrs. Price — the housekeeper10, is she not?” I asked at last, being so accustomed to like what I could get, that the number of dishes wearied me.
“Oh yes, miss,” said Stixon, very shortly, as if that description exhausted11 Mrs. Price.
“If she is not too busy, I should like to see her as soon as these things are all taken away. I mean if she is not a stranger, and if she would like to see me.”
“No new-comers here,” Mr. Stixon replied; “we all works our way up regular, the same as my lad is beginning for to do. New-fangled ways is not accepted here. We puts the reforming spirits scrubbing of the steps till their knuckles12 is cracked and their knees like a bean. The old lord was the man for discipline — your grandfather, if you please, miss. He catched me when I were about that high —”
“Excuse me, Mr. Stixon; but would he have encouraged you to talk as you so very kindly13 talk to me, instead of answering a question?”
I thought that poor Stixon would have been upset by this, and was angry with myself for saying it; but instead of being hurt, he only smiled and touched his forehead.
“Well, now, you did remind me uncommon14 of him then, miss. I could have heard the old lord speak almost, though he were always harsh and distant. And as I was going for to say, he catched me fifty years agone next Lammas-tide; a pear-tree of an early sort it was; you may see the very tree if you please to stand here, miss, though the pears is quite altered now, and scarcely fit to eat. Well, I was running off with my cap chock-full, miss —”
“Please to keep that story for another time,” I said; “I shall be most happy to hear it then. But I have a particular wish, if you please, to see Mrs. Price before dark, unless there is any good reason why I should not.”
“Oh no, Miss Erma, no reason at all. Only please to bear in mind, miss, that she is a coorous woman. She is that jealous, and I might say forward —”
“Then she is capable of speaking for herself.”
“You are right, miss, there, and no mistake. She can speak for herself and for fifty others — words enough, I mean, for all of them. But I would not have her know for all the world that I said it.”
“Then if you do not send her to me at once, the first thing I shall do will be to tell her.”
“Oh no, miss, none of your family would do that; that never has been done anonymous15.”
I assured him that my threat was not in earnest, but of pure impatience16. And having no motive17 but downright jealousy18 for keeping Mrs. Price from me, he made up his mind at last to let her come. But he told me to be careful what I said; I must not expect it to be at all like talking to himself, for instance.
The housekeeper came up at last, by dint19 of my persistence20, and she stopped in the doorway21 and made me a courtesy, which put me out of countenance22, for nobody ever does that in America, and scarcely any one in England now, except in country-dancing. Instead of being as described by Stixon, Mrs. Price was of a very quiet, sensible, and respectful kind. She was rather short, but looked rather tall, from her even walk and way of carrying her head. Her figure was neat, and her face clear-spoken, with straight pretty eyebrows23, and calm bright eyes. I felt that I could tell her almost any thing, and she would think before she talked of it. And in my strong want of some woman to advise with — Betsy Bowen being very good but very narrow, and Mrs. Hockin a mere24 echo of the Major until he contradicted her, and Suan Isco, with her fine, large views, five thousand miles out of sight just now — this was a state of things to enhance the value of any good countenance feminine.
At any rate, I was so glad to see her that, being still ungraduated in the steps of rank (though beginning to like a good footing there), I ran up and took her by both hands, and fetched her out of her grand courtesy and into a low chair. At this she was surprised, as one quick glance showed; and she thought me, perhaps, what is called in England “an impulsive25 creature.” This put me again upon my dignity, for I never have been in any way like that, and I clearly perceived that she ought to understand a little more distinctly my character.
It is easy to begin with this intention, but very hard indeed to keep it up when any body of nice ways and looks is sitting with a proper deferential26 power of listening, and liking27 one’s young ideas, which multiply and magnify themselves at each demand. So after some general talk about the weather, the country, the house, and so on, we came to the people of the house, or at any rate the chief person. And I asked her a few quiet questions about Lord Castlewood’s health and habits, and any thing else she might like to tell me. For many things had seemed to me a little strange and out of the usual course, and on that account worthy to be spoken of without common curiosity. Mrs. Price told me that there were many things generally divulged28 and credited, which therefore lay in her power to communicate without any derogation from her office. Being pleased with these larger words (which I always have trouble in pronouncing), I asked her whether there was any thing else. And she answered yes, but unhappily of a nature to which it was scarcely desirable to allude29 in my presence. I told her that this was not satisfactory, and I might say quite the opposite; that having “alluded” to whatever it might be, she was bound to tell me all about it. That I had lived in very many countries, in all of which wrong things continually went on, of which I continually heard just in that sort of way and no more. Enough to make one uncomfortable, but not enough to keep one instructed and vigilant30 as to things that ought to be avoided. Upon this she yielded either to my arguments or to her own dislike of unreasonable31 silence, and gave me the following account of the misfortunes of Lord Castlewood:
Herbert William Castlewood was the third son of Dean Castlewood, a younger brother of my grandfather, and was born in the year 1806. He was older, therefore, than my father, but still (even before my father’s birth, which provided a direct heir) there were many lives betwixt him and the family estates. And his father, having as yet no promotion32 in the Church, found it hard to bring up his children. The eldest33 son got a commission in the army, and the second entered the navy, while Herbert was placed in a bank at Bristol — not at all the sort of life which he would have chosen. But being of a gentle, unselfish nature, as well as a weak constitution, he put up with his state in life, and did his best to give satisfaction.
This calm courage generally has its reward, and in the year 1842, not very long before the death of my grandfather at Shoxford, Mr. Herbert Castlewood, being well-connected, well-behaved, diligent34, and pleasing, obtained a partnership35 in the firm, which was, perhaps, the foremost in the west of England. His two elder brothers happened then to be at home, Major and Commander Castlewood, each of whom had seen very hard service, and found it still harder slavery to make both ends meet, although bachelors. But, returning full of glory, they found one thing harder still, and that was to extract any cash from their father, the highly venerated36 Dean, who in that respect, if in no other, very closely resembled the head of the family. Therefore these brave men resolved to go and see their Bristol brother, to whom they were tenderly attached, and who now must have money enough and to spare. So they wrote to their brother to meet them on the platform, scarcely believing that they could be there in so short a time from London; for they never had travelled by rail before; and they set forth37 in wonderful spirits, and laughed at the strange, giddy rush of the travelling, and made bets with each other about punctual time (for trains kept much better time while new), and, as long as they could time it, they kept time to a second. But, sad to relate, they wanted no chronometers38 when they arrived at Bristol, both being killed at a blow, with their watches still going, and a smile on their faces. For the train had run into a wall of Bath stone, and several of the passengers were killed.
The sight of his two brothers carried out like this, after so many years of not seeing them, was too much for Mr. Herbert Castlewood’s nerves, which always had been delicate. And he shivered all the more from reproach of conscience, having made up his mind not to lend them any money, as a practical banker was compelled to do. And from that very moment he began to feel great pain.
Mrs. Price assured me that the doctors all agreed that nothing but change of climate could restore Mr. Castlewood’s tone and system, and being full of art (though so simple, as she said, which she could not entirely39 reconcile), he set off for Italy, and there he stopped, with the good leave of his partners, being now valued highly as heir to the Dean, who was known to have put a good trifle together. And in Italy my father must have found him, as related by Mr. Shovelin, and there received kindness and comfort in his trouble, if trouble so deep could be comforted.
Now I wondered and eagerly yearned40 to know whether my father, at such a time, and in such a state of loneliness, might not have been led to impart to his cousin and host and protector the dark mystery which lay at the bottom of his own conduct. Knowing how resolute41 and stern he was, and doubtless then imbittered by the wreck42 of love and life, I thought it more probable that he had kept silence even toward so near a relative, especially as he had seen very little of his cousin Herbert till he had found him thus. Moreover, my grandfather and the Dean had spent little brotherly love on each other, having had a life-long feud43 about a copy-hold furze brake of nearly three-quarters of an acre, as Betsy remembered to have heard her master say.
To go on, however, with what Mrs. Price was saying. She knew scarcely any thing about my father, because she was too young at that time to be called into the counsels of the servants’ hall, for she scarcely was thirty-five yet, as she declared, and she certainly did not look forty. But all about the present Lord Castlewood she knew better than any body else, perhaps, because she had been in the service of his wife, and, indeed, her chief attendant. Then, having spoken of her master’s wife, Mrs. Price caught herself up, and thenceforth called her only his “lady.”
Mr. Herbert Castlewood, who had minded his business for so many years, and kept himself aloof44 from ladies, spending all his leisure in good literature, at this time of life and in this state of health (for the shock he had received struck inward), fell into an accident tenfold worse — the fatal accident of love. And this malady45 raged the more powerfully with him on account of breaking out so late in life. In one of the picture-galleries at Florence, or some such place, Mrs. Price declared, he met with a lady who made all the pictures look cold and dull and dead to him. A lovely young creature she must have been (as even Mrs. Price, who detested46 her, acknowledged), and to the eyes of a learned but not keen man as good as lovely. My father was gone to look after me, and fetch me out of England, but even if he had been there, perhaps he scarcely could have stopped it; for this Mr. Castlewood, although so quiet, had the family fault of tenacity47.
Mrs. Price, being a very steady person, with a limited income, and enough to do, was inclined to look down upon the state of mind in which Mr. Castlewood became involved. She was not there at the moment, of course, but suddenly sent for when all was settled; nevertheless, she found out afterward48 how it began from her master’s man, through what he had for dinner. And in the kitchen-garden at Castlewood no rampion would she allow while she lived. I asked her whether she had no pity, no sympathy, no fine feeling, and how she could have become Mrs. Price if she never had known such sentiments. But she said that they only called her “Mistress” on account of her authority, and she never had been drawn49 to the opposite sex, though many times asked in marriage. And what she had seen of matrimony led her far away from it. I was sorry to hear her say this, and felt damped, till I thought that the world was not all alike.
Then she told me, just as if it were no more than a bargain for a pound of tallow candles, how Mr. Herbert Castlewood, patient and persistent50, was kept off and on for at least two years by the mother of his sweet idol51. How the old lady held a balance in her mind as to the likelihood of his succession, trying, through English friends, to find the value and the course of property. Of what nation she was, Mrs. Price could not say, and only knew that it must be a bad one. She called herself the Countess of Ixorism, as truly pronounced in English; and she really was of good family too, so far as any foreigner can be. And her daughter’s name was Flittamore, not according to the right spelling, perhaps, but pronounced with the proper accent.
Flittamore herself did not seem to care, according to what Mrs. Price had been told, but left herself wholly in her mother’s hands, being sure of her beauty still growing upon her, and desiring to have it admired and praised. And the number of foreigners she always had about her sometimes made her real lover nearly give her up. But, alas52! he was not quite wise enough for this, with all that he had read and learned and seen. Therefore, when it was reported from Spain that my father had been killed by bandits — the truth being that he was then in Greece — the Countess at last consented to the marriage of her daughter with Herbert Castlewood, and even seemed to press it forward for some reasons of her own. And the happy couple set forth upon their travels, and Mrs. Price was sent abroad to wait upon the lady.
For a few months they seemed to get on very well, Flittamore showing much affection for her husband, whose age was a trifle more than her own doubled, while he was entirely wrapped up in her, and labored53 that the graces of her mind might be worthy to compare with those more visible. But her spiritual face and most sweet poetic54 eyes were vivid with bodily brilliance55 alone. She had neither mind enough to learn, nor heart enough to pretend to learn.
It is out of my power to describe such things, even if it were my duty to do so, which, happily, it has never been; moreover, Mrs. Price, in what she told me, exercised a just and strict reserve. Enough that Mr. Castlewood’s wedded56 life was done with in six months and three days. Lady Castlewood, as she would be called, though my father still was living and his cousin disclaimed57 the title — away she ran from some dull German place, after a very stiff lesson in poetry, and with her ran off a young Englishman, the present Sir Montague Hockin. He was Mr. Hockin then, and had not a half-penny of his own; but Flittamore met that difficulty by robbing her husband to his last farthing.
This had happened about twelve years back, soon after I was placed at the school in Languedoc, to which I was taken so early in life that I almost forget all about it. But it might have been better for poor Flittamore if she had been brought up at a steady place like that, with sisters and ladies of retreat, to teach her the proper description of her duties to mankind. I seemed now in my own mind to condemn58 her quite enough, feeling how superior her husband must have been; but Mrs. Price went even further, and became quite indignant that any one should pity her.
“A hussy! a hussy! a poppet of a hussy!” she exclaimed, with greater power than her quiet face could indicate; “never would I look at her. Speak never so, Miss Castlewood. My lord is the very best of all men, and she has made him what he is. The pity she deserves is to be trodden under foot, as I saw them do in Naples.”
After all the passion I had seen among rough people, I scarcely could help trembling at the depth of wrath59 dissembled and firmly controlled in calm clear eyes under very steadfast60 eyebrows. It was plain that Lord Castlewood had, at any rate, the gift of being loved by his dependents.
“I hope that he took it aright!” I cried, catching61 some of her indignation; “I hope that he cast her to the winds, without even a sigh for such a cruel creature!”
“He was not strong enough,” she answered, sadly; “his bodily health was not equal to it. From childhood he had been partly crippled and spoiled in his nerves by an accident. And the shock of that sight at Bristol flew to his weakness, and was too much for him. And now this third and worst disaster, coming upon him where his best hope lay, and at such a time of life, took him altogether off his legs. And off his head too, I might almost say, miss; for, instead of blaming her, he put the fault entirely upon himself. At his time of life, and in such poor health, he should not have married a bright young girl: how could he ever hope to make her happy? That was how he looked at it, when he should have sent constables62 after her.”
“And what became of her — the mindless animal, to forsake63 so good and great a man! I do hope she was punished, and that vile64 man too.”
“She was, Miss Castlewood; but he was not; at least he has not received justice yet. But he will, he will, he will, miss. The treacherous65 thief! And my lord received him as a young fellow-countryman under a cloud, and lent him money, and saved him from starving; for he had broken with his father and was running from his creditors66.”
“Tell me no more,” I said; “not another word. It is my fate to meet that — well, that gentleman — almost every day. And he, and he — oh, how thankful I am to have found out all this about him!”
The above will show why, when I met my father’s cousin on the following morning — with his grand, calm face, as benevolent67 as if he had passed a night of luxurious68 rest instead of sleepless69 agony — I knew myself to be of a lower order in mind and soul and heart than his; a small, narrow, passionate70 girl, in the presence of a large, broad-sighted, and compassionate71 man.
I threw myself altogether on his will; for, when I trust, I trust wholly. And, under his advice, I did not return with any rash haste to Bruntsea, but wrote in discharge of all duty there; while Mrs. Price, a clear and steadfast woman, was sent to London to see Wilhelmina Strouss. These two must have had very great talks together, and, both being zealous72 and faithful, they came to many misunderstandings. However, on the whole, they became very honest friends, and sworn allies at last, discovering more, the more they talked, people against whom they felt a common and just enmity.
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afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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deference
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| n.尊重，顺从；敬意 | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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lamented
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| adj.被哀悼的，令人遗憾的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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housekeeper
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| n.管理家务的主妇，女管家 | |
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exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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knuckles
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| n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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uncommon
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| adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的 | |
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anonymous
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| adj.无名的；匿名的；无特色的 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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dint
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| n.由于，靠；凹坑 | |
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persistence
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| n.坚持，持续，存留 | |
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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impulsive
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| adj.冲动的，刺激的；有推动力的 | |
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deferential
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| adj. 敬意的，恭敬的 | |
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liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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divulged
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| v.吐露，泄露( divulge的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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allude
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| v.提及，暗指 | |
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vigilant
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| adj.警觉的，警戒的，警惕的 | |
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unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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promotion
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| n.提升，晋级；促销，宣传 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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diligent
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| adj.勤勉的，勤奋的 | |
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partnership
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| n.合作关系，伙伴关系 | |
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venerated
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| 敬重（某人或某事物），崇敬( venerate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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chronometers
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| n.精密计时器，航行表( chronometer的名词复数 ) | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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yearned
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| 渴望，切盼，向往( yearn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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feud
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| n.长期不和；世仇；v.长期争斗；世代结仇 | |
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aloof
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| adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的 | |
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malady
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| n.病，疾病(通常做比喻) | |
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detested
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| v.憎恶，嫌恶，痛恨( detest的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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tenacity
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| n.坚韧 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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persistent
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| adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的 | |
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idol
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| n.偶像，红人，宠儿 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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labored
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| adj.吃力的，谨慎的v.努力争取(for)( labor的过去式和过去分词 )；苦干；详细分析；（指引擎）缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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54
poetic
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| adj.富有诗意的，有诗人气质的，善于抒情的 | |
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55
brilliance
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| n.光辉，辉煌，壮丽，（卓越的）才华，才智 | |
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56
wedded
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| adj.正式结婚的；渴望…的，执著于…的v.嫁，娶，（与…）结婚( wed的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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57
disclaimed
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| v.否认( disclaim的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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58
condemn
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| vt.谴责，指责；宣判(罪犯)，判刑 | |
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59
wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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60
steadfast
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| adj.固定的，不变的，不动摇的；忠实的；坚贞不移的 | |
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61
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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62
constables
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| n.警察( constable的名词复数 ) | |
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63
forsake
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| vt.遗弃，抛弃；舍弃，放弃 | |
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64
vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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65
treacherous
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| adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的 | |
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66
creditors
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| n.债权人，债主( creditor的名词复数 ) | |
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67
benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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68
luxurious
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| adj.精美而昂贵的；豪华的 | |
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69
sleepless
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| adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的 | |
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70
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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71
compassionate
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| adj.有同情心的，表示同情的 | |
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72
zealous
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| adj.狂热的，热心的 | |
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