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Chapter 12 I Only Thought of it
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There was great perturbation down at Fawn1 Court. On the day fixed2, Monday, June 5, Lizzie arrived. Nothing further had been said by Lady Fawn to urge the invitation; but, in accordance with the arrangement already made, Lady Eustace, with her child, her nurse, and her own maid, was at Fawn Court by four o’clock. A very long letter had been received from Mrs. Hittaway that morning, the writing of which must have seriously interfered3 with the tranquillity4 of her Sunday afternoon. Lord Fawn did not make his appearance at Richmond on the Saturday evening, nor was he seen on the Sunday. That Sunday was, we may presume, chiefly devoted5 to reflection. He certainly did not call upon his future wife. His omission6 to do so, no doubt, increased Lizzie’s urgency in the matter of her visit to Richmond. Frank Greystock had written to congratulate her. “Dear Frank,” she had said in reply, “a woman situated7 as I am has so many things to think of. Lord Fawn’s position will be of service to my child. Mind you come and see me at Fawn Court. I count so, much on your friendship and assistance.”

Of course she was expected at Richmond, although throughout the morning Lady Fawn had entertained almost a hope that she wouldn’t come. “He was only lukewarm in defending her,” Mrs. Hittaway had said in her letter, “and I still think that there may be an escape.” Not even a note had come from Lord Fawn himself, nor from Lady Eustace. Possibly something violent might have been done, and Lady Eustace would not appear. But Lady Eustace did appear, and, after a fashion, was made welcome at Fawn Court.

The Fawn ladies were not good hypocrites. Lady Fawn had said almost nothing to her daughters of her visit to Mount Street, but Augusta had heard the discussion in Mrs. Hittaway’s drawing-room as to the character of the future bride. The coming visit had been spoken of almost with awe8, and there was a general conviction in the dovecote that an evil thing had fallen upon them. Consequently, their affection to the newcomer, though spoken in words, was not made evident by signs and manners. Lizzie herself took care that the position in which she was received should be sufficiently9 declared. “It seems so odd that I am to come among you as a sister,” she said. The girls were forced to assent10 to the claim, but they assented11 coldly. “He has told me to attach myself especially to you,” she whispered to Augusta. The unfortunate chosen one, who had but little strength of her own, accepted the position, and then, as the only means of escaping the embraces of her newly-found sister, pleaded the violence of a headache. “My mother,” said Lizzie to Lady Fawn.

“Yes, my dear,” said Lady Fawn. “One of the girls had perhaps better go up and show you your room.— I am very much afraid about it,” said Lady Fawn to her daughter Amelia. Amelia replied only by shaking her head.

On the Tuesday morning there came a note from Lord Fawn to his lady love. Of course the letter was not shown, but Lizzie received it at the breakfast table, and read it with many little smiles and signs of satisfaction. And then she gave out various little statements as having been made in that letter. He says this, and he says that, and he is coming here, and going there, and he will do one thing, and he won’t do the other. We have often seen young ladies crowing over their lovers’ letters, and it was pleasant to see Lizzie crowing over hers. And yet there was but very little in the letter. Lord Fawn told her that what with the House and what with the Office, he could not get down to Richmond before Saturday; but that on Saturday he would come. Then he signed himself “Yours affectionately, Fawn.” Lizzie did her crowing very prettily12. The outward show of it was there to perfection, so that the Fawn girls really believed that their brother had written an affectionate lover’s letter. Inwardly Lizzie swore to herself, as she read the cold words with indignation, that the man should not escape her.

The days went by very tediously. On the Wednesday and the Friday Lady Eustace made an excuse of going up to town, and insisted on taking the unfortunate Augusta with her. There was no real reason for these journeys to London, unless that glance which on each occasion was given to the contents of the iron case was a real reason. The diamonds were safe, and Miss Macnulty was enjoying herself. On the Friday Lizzie proposed to Augusta that they should jointly13 make a raid upon the member of Her Majesty’s Government at his office; but Augusta positively14 refused to take such a step. “I know he would be angry,” pleaded Augusta.

“Pshaw! who cares for his anger?” said Lizzie. But the visit was not made.

On the Saturday — the Saturday which was to bring Lord Fawn down to dinner — another most unexpected visitor made his appearance. At about three o’clock Frank Greystock was at Fawn Court. Now it was certainly understood that Mr. Greystock had been told not to come to Fawn Court as long as Lucy Morris was there. “Dear Mr. Greystock, I’m sure you will take what I say as I mean it,” Lady Fawn had whispered to him. “You know how attached we all are to our dear little Lucy. Perhaps you know ——.” There had been more of it; but the meaning of it all was undoubtedly15 this, that Frank was not to pay visits to Lucy Morris at Fawn Court. Now he had come to see his cousin Lizzie Eustace.

On this occasion Lady Fawn, with Amelia and two of the other girls, were out in the carriage. The unfortunate Augusta had been left at home with her bosom16 friend; while Cecilia and Nina were supposed to be talking French with Lucy Morris. They were all out in the grounds, sitting upon the benches, and rambling17 among the shrubberies, when of a sudden Frank Greystock was in the midst of them. Lizzie’s expression of joy at seeing her cousin was almost as great as though he had been in fact a brother. She ran up to him and grasped his hand, and hung on his arm, and looked up into his face, and then burst into tears. But the tears were not violent tears. There were just three sobs18, and two bright eyes full of water, and a lace handkerchief, and then a smile. “Oh, Frank,” she said, “it does make one think so of old times.” Augusta had by this time been almost persuaded to believe in her — though the belief by no means made the poor young woman happy. Frank thought that his cousin looked very well, and said something as to Lord Fawn being “the happiest fellow going.” “I hope I shall make him happy,” said Lizzie, clasping her hands together.

Lucy meanwhile was standing19 in the circle with the others. It never occurred to her that it was her duty to run away from the man she loved. She had shaken hands with him, and felt something of affection in his pressure. She did not believe that his visit was made entirely20 to his cousin, and had no idea at the moment of disobeying Lady Fawn. During the last few days she had been thrown very much with her old friend Lizzie, and had been treated by the future peeress with many signs of almost sisterly affection. “Dear Lucy,” Lizzie had said, “you can understand me. These people — oh, they are so good, but they can’t understand me.” Lucy had expressed a hope that Lord Fawn understood her. “Oh, Lord Fawn — well, yes; perhaps — I don’t know. It so often happens that one’s husband is the last person to understand one.”

“If I thought so, I wouldn’t marry him,” said Lucy.

“Frank Greystock will understand you,” said Lizzie. It was indeed true that Lucy did understand something of her wealthy friend’s character, and was almost ashamed of the friendship. With Lizzie Greystock she had never sympathised, and Lizzie Eustace had always been distasteful to her. She already felt that the less she should see of Lizzie Fawn the better she should like it.

Before an hour was over Frank Greystock was walking round the shrubberies with Lucy — and was walking with Lucy alone. It was undoubtedly the fact that Lady Eustace had contrived21 that it should be so. The unfitness of the thing recommended it to her. Frank could hardly marry a wife without a shilling. Lucy would certainly not think at all of shillings. Frank, as Lizzie knew, had been almost at her feet within the last fortnight, and might, in some possible emergency, be there again. In the midst of such circumstances nothing could be better than that Frank and Lucy should be thrown together. Lizzie regarded all this as romance. Poor Lady Fawn, had she known it all, would have called it diabolical22 wickedness and inhuman23 cruelty.

“Well, Lucy, what do you think of it?” Frank Greystock said to her.

“Think of what, Mr. Greystock?”

“You know what I mean — this marriage?”

“How should I be able to think? I have never seen them together. I suppose Lord Fawn isn’t very rich. She is rich. And then she is very beautiful. Don’t you think her very beautiful?”

“Sometimes exquisitely24 lovely.”

“Everybody says so, and I am sure it is the fact. Do you know — but perhaps you’ll think I am envious25.”

“If I thought you envious of Lizzie, I should have to think you very foolish at the same time.”

“I don’t know what that means”— she did know well enough what it meant — “but sometimes to me she is almost frightful26 to look at.”

“In what way?”

“Oh, I can’t tell you. She looks like a beautiful animal that you are afraid to caress27 for fear it should bite you — an animal that would be beautiful if its eyes were not so restless and its teeth so sharp and so white.”

“How very odd.”

“Why odd, Mr. Greystock?”

“Because I feel exactly in the same way about her. I am not in the least afraid that she’ll bite me; and as for caressing28 the animal — that kind of caressing which you mean — it seems to me to be just what she’s made for. But I do feel sometimes that she is like a cat.”

“Something not quite so tame as a cat,” said Lucy.

“Nevertheless she is very lovely, and very clever. Sometimes I think her the most beautiful woman I ever saw in the world.”

“Do you, indeed?”

“She will be immensely run after as Lady Fawn. When she pleases she can make her own house quite charming. I never knew a woman who could say pretty things to so many people at once.”

“You are making her out to be a paragon29 of perfection, Mr. Greystock.”

“And when you add to all the rest that she has four thousand a year, you must admit that Lord Fawn is a lucky man.”

“I have said nothing against it.”

“Four thousand a year is a very great consideration, Lucy.”

Lucy for a while said nothing. She was making up her mind that she would say nothing — that she would make no reply indicative of any feeling on her part. But she was not sufficiently strong to keep her resolution. “I wonder, Mr. Greystock,” she said, “that you did not attempt to win the great prize yourself. Cousins do marry.”

He had thought of attempting it, and at this moment he would not lie to her. “The cousinship had nothing to do with it,” he said.

“Perhaps you did think of it.”

“I did, Lucy. Yes, I did. Thank God, I only thought of it.” She could not refrain herself from looking up into his face and clasping her hands together. A woman never so dearly loves a man as when he confesses that he has been on the brink30 of a great crime, but has refrained and has not committed it. “I did think of it. I am not telling you that she would have taken me. I have no reason whatever for thinking so.”

“I am sure she would,” said Lucy, who did not in the least know what words she was uttering.

“It would have been simply for her money — her money and her beauty. It would not have been because I love her.”

“Never — never ask a girl to marry you unless you love her, Mr. Greystock.”

“Then there is only one that I can ever ask,” said he. There was nothing, of course, that she could say to this. If he did not choose to go further, she was not bound to understand him. But would he go further? She felt at the moment that an open declaration of his love to herself would make her happy forever, even though it should be accompanied by an assurance that he could not marry her. If they only knew each other — that it was so between them — that, she thought, would be enough for her. And as for him — if a woman could bear such a position, surely he might bear it. “Do you know who that one is?” he asked.

“No,” she said, shaking her head.

“Lucy, is that true?”

“What does it matter?”

“Lucy; look at me, Lucy,” and he put his hand upon her arm.

“No, no, no,” she said.

“I love you so well, Lucy, that I never can love another. I have thought of many women, but could never even think of one as a woman to love except you. I have sometimes fancied I could marry for money and position, to help myself on in the world by means of a wife; but when my mind has run away with me, to revel31 amidst ideas of feminine sweetness, you have always — always been the heroine of the tale, as the mistress of the happy castle in the air.”

“Have I?” she asked.

“Always, always. As regards this,” and he struck himself on the breast, “no man was ever more constant. Though I don’t think much of myself as a man, I know a woman when I see her.” But he did not ask her to be his wife; nor did he wait at Fawn Court till Lady Fawn had come back with the carriage.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 fawn NhpzW     
n.未满周岁的小鹿;v.巴结,奉承
参考例句:
  • A fawn behind the tree looked at us curiously.树后面一只小鹿好奇地看着我们。
  • He said you fawn on the manager in order to get a promotion.他说你为了获得提拔,拍经理的马屁。
2 fixed JsKzzj     
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的
参考例句:
  • Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗?
  • Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定,我们就不应该随意改变。
3 interfered 71b7e795becf1adbddfab2cd6c5f0cff     
v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 );调停;妨碍;干涉
参考例句:
  • Complete absorption in sports interfered with his studies. 专注于运动妨碍了他的学业。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • I am not going to be interfered with. 我不想别人干扰我的事情。 来自《简明英汉词典》
4 tranquillity 93810b1103b798d7e55e2b944bcb2f2b     
n. 平静, 安静
参考例句:
  • The phenomenon was so striking and disturbing that his philosophical tranquillity vanished. 这个令人惶惑不安的现象,扰乱了他的旷达宁静的心境。
  • My value for domestic tranquillity should much exceed theirs. 我应该远比他们重视家庭的平静生活。
5 devoted xu9zka     
adj.忠诚的,忠实的,热心的,献身于...的
参考例句:
  • He devoted his life to the educational cause of the motherland.他为祖国的教育事业贡献了一生。
  • We devoted a lengthy and full discussion to this topic.我们对这个题目进行了长时间的充分讨论。
6 omission mjcyS     
n.省略,删节;遗漏或省略的事物,冗长
参考例句:
  • The omission of the girls was unfair.把女孩排除在外是不公平的。
  • The omission of this chapter from the third edition was a gross oversight.第三版漏印这一章是个大疏忽。
7 situated JiYzBH     
adj.坐落在...的,处于某种境地的
参考例句:
  • The village is situated at the margin of a forest.村子位于森林的边缘。
  • She is awkwardly situated.她的处境困难。
8 awe WNqzC     
n.敬畏,惊惧;vt.使敬畏,使惊惧
参考例句:
  • The sight filled us with awe.这景色使我们大为惊叹。
  • The approaching tornado struck awe in our hearts.正在逼近的龙卷风使我们惊恐万分。
9 sufficiently 0htzMB     
adv.足够地,充分地
参考例句:
  • It turned out he had not insured the house sufficiently.原来他没有给房屋投足保险。
  • The new policy was sufficiently elastic to accommodate both views.新政策充分灵活地适用两种观点。
10 assent Hv6zL     
v.批准,认可;n.批准,认可
参考例句:
  • I cannot assent to what you ask.我不能应允你的要求。
  • The new bill passed by Parliament has received Royal Assent.议会所通过的新方案已获国王批准。
11 assented 4cee1313bb256a1f69bcc83867e78727     
同意,赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • The judge assented to allow the prisoner to speak. 法官同意允许犯人申辩。
  • "No," assented Tom, "they don't kill the women -- they're too noble. “对,”汤姆表示赞同地说,“他们不杀女人——真伟大!
12 prettily xQAxh     
adv.优美地;可爱地
参考例句:
  • It was prettily engraved with flowers on the back.此件雕刻精美,背面有花饰图案。
  • She pouted prettily at him.她冲他撅着嘴,样子很可爱。
13 jointly jp9zvS     
ad.联合地,共同地
参考例句:
  • Tenants are jointly and severally liable for payment of the rent. 租金由承租人共同且分别承担。
  • She owns the house jointly with her husband. 她和丈夫共同拥有这所房子。
14 positively vPTxw     
adv.明确地,断然,坚决地;实在,确实
参考例句:
  • She was positively glowing with happiness.她满脸幸福。
  • The weather was positively poisonous.这天气着实讨厌。
15 undoubtedly Mfjz6l     
adv.确实地,无疑地
参考例句:
  • It is undoubtedly she who has said that.这话明明是她说的。
  • He is undoubtedly the pride of China.毫无疑问他是中国的骄傲。
16 bosom Lt9zW     
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的
参考例句:
  • She drew a little book from her bosom.她从怀里取出一本小册子。
  • A dark jealousy stirred in his bosom.他内心生出一阵恶毒的嫉妒。
17 rambling MTfxg     
adj.[建]凌乱的,杂乱的
参考例句:
  • We spent the summer rambling in Ireland. 我们花了一个夏天漫游爱尔兰。
  • It was easy to get lost in the rambling house. 在布局凌乱的大房子里容易迷路。
18 sobs d4349f86cad43cb1a5579b1ef269d0cb     
啜泣(声),呜咽(声)( sob的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • She was struggling to suppress her sobs. 她拼命不让自己哭出来。
  • She burst into a convulsive sobs. 她突然抽泣起来。
19 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
20 entirely entirely     
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
  • His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。
21 contrived ivBzmO     
adj.不自然的,做作的;虚构的
参考例句:
  • There was nothing contrived or calculated about what he said.他说的话里没有任何蓄意捏造的成分。
  • The plot seems contrived.情节看起来不真实。
22 diabolical iPCzt     
adj.恶魔似的,凶暴的
参考例句:
  • This maneuver of his is a diabolical conspiracy.他这一手是一个居心叵测的大阴谋。
  • One speaker today called the plan diabolical and sinister.今天一名发言人称该计划阴险恶毒。
23 inhuman F7NxW     
adj.残忍的,不人道的,无人性的
参考例句:
  • We must unite the workers in fighting against inhuman conditions.我们必须使工人们团结起来反对那些难以忍受的工作条件。
  • It was inhuman to refuse him permission to see his wife.不容许他去看自己的妻子是太不近人情了。
24 exquisitely Btwz1r     
adv.精致地;强烈地;剧烈地;异常地
参考例句:
  • He found her exquisitely beautiful. 他觉得她异常美丽。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He wore an exquisitely tailored gray silk and accessories to match. 他穿的是做工非常考究的灰色绸缎衣服,还有各种配得很协调的装饰。 来自教父部分
25 envious n8SyX     
adj.嫉妒的,羡慕的
参考例句:
  • I don't think I'm envious of your success.我想我并不嫉妒你的成功。
  • She is envious of Jane's good looks and covetous of her car.她既忌妒简的美貌又垂涎她的汽车。
26 frightful Ghmxw     
adj.可怕的;讨厌的
参考例句:
  • How frightful to have a husband who snores!有一个发鼾声的丈夫多讨厌啊!
  • We're having frightful weather these days.这几天天气坏极了。
27 caress crczs     
vt./n.爱抚,抚摸
参考例句:
  • She gave the child a loving caress.她疼爱地抚摸着孩子。
  • She feasted on the caress of the hot spring.她尽情享受着温泉的抚爱。
28 caressing 00dd0b56b758fda4fac8b5d136d391f3     
爱抚的,表现爱情的,亲切的
参考例句:
  • The spring wind is gentle and caressing. 春风和畅。
  • He sat silent still caressing Tartar, who slobbered with exceeding affection. 他不声不响地坐在那里,不断抚摸着鞑靼,它由于获得超常的爱抚而不淌口水。
29 paragon 1KexV     
n.模范,典型
参考例句:
  • He was considered to be a paragon of virtue.他被认为是品德尽善尽美的典范。
  • Man is the paragon of animals.人是万物之灵。
30 brink OWazM     
n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘,边沿
参考例句:
  • The tree grew on the brink of the cliff.那棵树生长在峭壁的边缘。
  • The two countries were poised on the brink of war.这两个国家处于交战的边缘。
31 revel yBezQ     
vi.狂欢作乐,陶醉;n.作乐,狂欢
参考例句:
  • She seems to revel in annoying her parents.她似乎以惹父母生气为乐。
  • The children revel in country life.孩子们特别喜欢乡村生活。


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