Cide Hamete Benengeli, in the Second Part of this history, and third sally of Don Quixote, says that the curate and the barber remained nearly a month without seeing him, lest they should recall or bring back to his recollection what had taken place. They did not, however, omit to visit his niece and housekeeper1, and charge them to be careful to treat him with attention, and give him comforting things to eat, and such as were good for the heart and the brain, whence, it was plain to see, all his misfortune proceeded. The niece and housekeeper replied that they did so, and meant to do so with all possible care and assiduity, for they could perceive that their master was now and then beginning to show signs of being in his right mind. This gave great satisfaction to the curate and the barber, for they concluded they had taken the right course in carrying him off enchanted2 on the ox-cart, as has been described in the First Part of this great as well as accurate history, in the last chapter thereof. So they resolved to pay him a visit and test the improvement in his condition, although they thought it almost impossible that there could be any; and they agreed not to touch upon any point connected with knight3-errantry so as not to run the risk of reopening wounds which were still so tender.
They came to see him consequently, and found him sitting up in bed in a green baize waistcoat and a red Toledo cap, and so withered5 and dried up that he looked as if he had been turned into a mummy. They were very cordially received by him; they asked him after his health, and he talked to them about himself very naturally and in very well-chosen language. In the course of their conversation they fell to discussing what they call State-craft and systems of government, correcting this abuse and condemning6 that, reforming one practice and abolishing another, each of the three setting up for a new legislator, a modern Lycurgus, or a brand-new Solon; and so completely did they remodel7 the State, that they seemed to have thrust it into a furnace and taken out something quite different from what they had put in; and on all the subjects they dealt with, Don Quixote spoke8 with such good sense that the pair of examiners were fully9 convinced that he was quite recovered and in his full senses.
The niece and housekeeper were present at the conversation and could not find words enough to express their thanks to God at seeing their master so clear in his mind; the curate, however, changing his original plan, which was to avoid touching10 upon matters of chivalry11, resolved to test Don Quixote’s recovery thoroughly12, and see whether it were genuine or not; and so, from one subject to another, he came at last to talk of the news that had come from the capital, and, among other things, he said it was considered certain that the Turk was coming down with a powerful fleet, and that no one knew what his purpose was, or when the great storm would burst; and that all Christendom was in apprehension13 of this, which almost every year calls us to arms, and that his Majesty14 had made provision for the security of the coasts of Naples and Sicily and the island of Malta.
To this Don Quixote replied, “His Majesty has acted like a prudent15 warrior16 in providing for the safety of his realms in time, so that the enemy may not find him unprepared; but if my advice were taken I would recommend him to adopt a measure which at present, no doubt, his Majesty is very far from thinking of.”
The moment the curate heard this he said to himself, “God keep thee in his hand, poor Don Quixote, for it seems to me thou art precipitating18 thyself from the height of thy madness into the profound abyss of thy simplicity19.”
But the barber, who had the same suspicion as the curate, asked Don Quixote what would be his advice as to the measures that he said ought to be adopted; for perhaps it might prove to be one that would have to be added to the list of the many impertinent suggestions that people were in the habit of offering to princes.
“Mine, master shaver,” said Don Quixote, “will not be impertinent, but, on the contrary, pertinent20.”
“I don’t mean that,” said the barber, “but that experience has shown that all or most of the expedients21 which are proposed to his Majesty are either impossible, or absurd, or injurious to the King and to the kingdom.”
“Mine, however,” replied Don Quixote, “is neither impossible nor absurd, but the easiest, the most reasonable, the readiest and most expeditious22 that could suggest itself to any projector’s mind.”
“You take a long time to tell it, Senor Don Quixote,” said the curate.
“I don’t choose to tell it here, now,” said Don Quixote, “and have it reach the ears of the lords of the council to-morrow morning, and some other carry off the thanks and rewards of my trouble.”
“For my part,” said the barber, “I give my word here and before God that I will not repeat what your worship says, to King, Rook or earthly man — an oath I learned from the ballad23 of the curate, who, in the prelude24, told the king of the thief who had robbed him of the hundred gold crowns and his pacing mule25.”
“I am not versed26 in stories,” said Don Quixote; “but I know the oath is a good one, because I know the barber to be an honest fellow.”
“Even if he were not,” said the curate, “I will go bail27 and answer for him that in this matter he will be as silent as a dummy28, under pain of paying any penalty that may be pronounced.”
“And who will be security for you, senor curate?” said Don Quixote.
“My profession,” replied the curate, “which is to keep secrets.”
“Ods body!” said Don Quixote at this, “what more has his Majesty to do but to command, by public proclamation, all the knights29-errant that are scattered30 over Spain to assemble on a fixed31 day in the capital, for even if no more than half a dozen come, there may be one among them who alone will suffice to destroy the entire might of the Turk. Give me your attention and follow me. Is it, pray, any new thing for a single knight-errant to demolish32 an army of two hundred thousand men, as if they all had but one throat or were made of sugar paste? Nay33, tell me, how many histories are there filled with these marvels34? If only (in an evil hour for me: I don’t speak for anyone else) the famous Don Belianis were alive now, or any one of the innumerable progeny35 of Amadis of Gaul! If any these were alive today, and were to come face to face with the Turk, by my faith, I would not give much for the Turk’s chance. But God will have regard for his people, and will provide some one, who, if not so valiant36 as the knights-errant of yore, at least will not be inferior to them in spirit; but God knows what I mean, and I say no more.”
“Alas!” exclaimed the niece at this, “may I die if my master does not want to turn knight-errant again;” to which Don Quixote replied, “A knight-errant I shall die, and let the Turk come down or go up when he likes, and in as strong force as he can, once more I say, God knows what I mean.” But here the barber said, “I ask your worships to give me leave to tell a short story of something that happened in Seville, which comes so pat to the purpose just now that I should like greatly to tell it.” Don Quixote gave him leave, and the rest prepared to listen, and he began thus:
“In the madhouse at Seville there was a man whom his relations had placed there as being out of his mind. He was a graduate of Osuna in canon law; but even if he had been of Salamanca, it was the opinion of most people that he would have been mad all the same. This graduate, after some years of confinement37, took it into his head that he was sane38 and in his full senses, and under this impression wrote to the Archbishop, entreating39 him earnestly, and in very correct language, to have him released from the misery40 in which he was living; for by God’s mercy he had now recovered his lost reason, though his relations, in order to enjoy his property, kept him there, and, in spite of the truth, would make him out to be mad until his dying day. The Archbishop, moved by repeated sensible, well-written letters, directed one of his chaplains to make inquiry41 of the madhouse as to the truth of the licentiate’s statements, and to have an interview with the madman himself, and, if it should appear that he was in his senses, to take him out and restore him to liberty. The chaplain did so, and the governor assured him that the man was still mad, and that though he often spoke like a highly intelligent person, he would in the end break out into nonsense that in quantity and quality counterbalanced all the sensible things he had said before, as might be easily tested by talking to him. The chaplain resolved to try the experiment, and obtaining access to the madman conversed42 with him for an hour or more, during the whole of which time he never uttered a word that was incoherent or absurd, but, on the contrary, spoke so rationally that the chaplain was compelled to believe him to be sane. Among other things, he said the governor was against him, not to lose the presents his relations made him for reporting him still mad but with lucid43 intervals44; and that the worst foe45 he had in his misfortune was his large property; for in order to enjoy it his enemies disparaged46 and threw doubts upon the mercy our Lord had shown him in turning him from a brute47 beast into a man. In short, he spoke in such a way that he cast suspicion on the governor, and made his relations appear covetous48 and heartless, and himself so rational that the chaplain determined49 to take him away with him that the Archbishop might see him, and ascertain50 for himself the truth of the matter. Yielding to this conviction, the worthy51 chaplain begged the governor to have the clothes in which the licentiate had entered the house given to him. The governor again bade him beware of what he was doing, as the licentiate was beyond a doubt still mad; but all his cautions and warnings were unavailing to dissuade52 the chaplain from taking him away. The governor, seeing that it was the order of the Archbishop, obeyed, and they dressed the licentiate in his own clothes, which were new and decent. He, as soon as he saw himself clothed like one in his senses, and divested53 of the appearance of a madman, entreated54 the chaplain to permit him in charity to go and take leave of his comrades the madmen. The chaplain said he would go with him to see what madmen there were in the house; so they went upstairs, and with them some of those who were present. Approaching a cage in which there was a furious madman, though just at that moment calm and quiet, the licentiate said to him, ‘Brother, think if you have any commands for me, for I am going home, as God has been pleased, in his infinite goodness and mercy, without any merit of mine, to restore me my reason. I am now cured and in my senses, for with God’s power nothing is impossible. Have strong hope and trust in him, for as he has restored me to my original condition, so likewise he will restore you if you trust in him. I will take care to send you some good things to eat; and be sure you eat them; for I would have you know I am convinced, as one who has gone through it, that all this madness of ours comes of having the stomach empty and the brains full of wind. Take courage! take courage! for despondency in misfortune breaks down health and brings on death.’
“To all these words of the licentiate another madman in a cage opposite that of the furious one was listening; and raising himself up from an old mat on which he lay stark55 naked, he asked in a loud voice who it was that was going away cured and in his senses. The licentiate answered, ‘It is I, brother, who am going; I have now no need to remain here any longer, for which I return infinite thanks to Heaven that has had so great mercy upon me.’
“‘Mind what you are saying, licentiate; don’t let the devil deceive you,’ replied the madman. ‘Keep quiet, stay where you are, and you will save yourself the trouble of coming back.’
“‘I know I am cured,’ returned the licentiate, ‘and that I shall not have to go stations again.’
“‘You cured!’ said the madman; ‘well, we shall see; God be with you; but I swear to you by Jupiter, whose majesty I represent on earth, that for this crime alone, which Seville is committing to-day in releasing you from this house, and treating you as if you were in your senses, I shall have to inflict56 such a punishment on it as will be remembered for ages and ages, amen. Dost thou not know, thou miserable57 little licentiate, that I can do it, being, as I say, Jupiter the Thunderer, who hold in my hands the fiery58 bolts with which I am able and am wont59 to threaten and lay waste the world? But in one way only will I punish this ignorant town, and that is by not raining upon it, nor on any part of its district or territory, for three whole years, to be reckoned from the day and moment when this threat is pronounced. Thou free, thou cured, thou in thy senses! and I mad, I disordered, I bound! I will as soon think of sending rain as of hanging myself.
“Those present stood listening to the words and exclamations60 of the madman; but our licentiate, turning to the chaplain and seizing him by the hands, said to him, ‘Be not uneasy, senor; attach no importance to what this madman has said; for if he is Jupiter and will not send rain, I, who am Neptune61, the father and god of the waters, will rain as often as it pleases me and may be needful.’
“The governor and the bystanders laughed, and at their laughter the chaplain was half ashamed, and he replied, ‘For all that, Senor Neptune, it will not do to vex62 Senor Jupiter; remain where you are, and some other day, when there is a better opportunity and more time, we will come back for you.’ So they stripped the licentiate, and he was left where he was; and that’s the end of the story.”
“So that’s the story, master barber,” said Don Quixote, “which came in so pat to the purpose that you could not help telling it? Master shaver, master shaver! how blind is he who cannot see through a sieve63. Is it possible that you do not know that comparisons of wit with wit, valour with valour, beauty with beauty, birth with birth, are always odious64 and unwelcome? I, master barber, am not Neptune, the god of the waters, nor do I try to make anyone take me for an astute65 man, for I am not one. My only endeavour is to convince the world of the mistake it makes in not reviving in itself the happy time when the order of knight-errantry was in the field. But our depraved age does not deserve to enjoy such a blessing66 as those ages enjoyed when knights-errant took upon their shoulders the defence of kingdoms, the protection of damsels, the succour of orphans67 and minors68, the chastisement69 of the proud, and the recompense of the humble70. With the knights of these days, for the most part, it is the damask, brocade, and rich stuffs they wear, that rustle71 as they go, not the chain mail of their armour72; no knight now-a-days sleeps in the open field exposed to the inclemency73 of heaven, and in full panoply74 from head to foot; no one now takes a nap, as they call it, without drawing his feet out of the stirrups, and leaning upon his lance, as the knights-errant used to do; no one now, issuing from the wood, penetrates75 yonder mountains, and then treads the barren, lonely shore of the sea — mostly a tempestuous76 and stormy one — and finding on the beach a little bark without oars77, sail, mast, or tackling of any kind, in the intrepidity79 of his heart flings himself into it and commits himself to the wrathful billows of the deep sea, that one moment lift him up to heaven and the next plunge80 him into the depths; and opposing his breast to the irresistible81 gale82, finds himself, when he least expects it, three thousand leagues and more away from the place where he embarked83; and leaping ashore84 in a remote and unknown land has adventures that deserve to be written, not on parchment, but on brass85. But now sloth86 triumphs over energy, indolence over exertion87, vice17 over virtue88, arrogance89 over courage, and theory over practice in arms, which flourished and shone only in the golden ages and in knights-errant. For tell me, who was more virtuous90 and more valiant than the famous Amadis of Gaul? Who more discreet91 than Palmerin of England? Who more gracious and easy than Tirante el Blanco? Who more courtly than Lisuarte of Greece? Who more slashed92 or slashing93 than Don Belianis? Who more intrepid78 than Perion of Gaul? Who more ready to face danger than Felixmarte of Hircania? Who more sincere than Esplandian? Who more impetuous than Don Cirongilio of Thrace? Who more bold than Rodamonte? Who more prudent than King Sobrino? Who more daring than Reinaldos? Who more invincible94 than Roland? and who more gallant95 and courteous96 than Ruggiero, from whom the dukes of Ferrara of the present day are descended97, according to Turpin in his ‘Cosmography.’ All these knights, and many more that I could name, senor curate, were knights-errant, the light and glory of chivalry. These, or such as these, I would have to carry out my plan, and in that case his Majesty would find himself well served and would save great expense, and the Turk would be left tearing his beard. And so I will stay where I am, as the chaplain does not take me away; and if Jupiter, as the barber has told us, will not send rain, here am I, and I will rain when I please. I say this that Master Basin may know that I understand him.”
“Indeed, Senor Don Quixote,” said the barber, “I did not mean it in that way, and, so help me God, my intention was good, and your worship ought not to be vexed98.”
“As to whether I ought to be vexed or not,” returned Don Quixote, “I myself am the best judge.”
Hereupon the curate observed, “I have hardly said a word as yet; and I would gladly be relieved of a doubt, arising from what Don Quixote has said, that worries and works my conscience.”
“The senor curate has leave for more than that,” returned Don Quixote, “so he may declare his doubt, for it is not pleasant to have a doubt on one’s conscience.”
“Well then, with that permission,” said the curate, “I say my doubt is that, all I can do, I cannot persuade myself that the whole pack of knights-errant you, Senor Don Quixote, have mentioned, were really and truly persons of flesh and blood, that ever lived in the world; on the contrary, I suspect it to be all fiction, fable99, and falsehood, and dreams told by men awakened100 from sleep, or rather still half asleep.”
“That is another mistake,” replied Don Quixote, “into which many have fallen who do not believe that there ever were such knights in the world, and I have often, with divers101 people and on divers occasions, tried to expose this almost universal error to the light of truth. Sometimes I have not been successful in my purpose, sometimes I have, supporting it upon the shoulders of the truth; which truth is so clear that I can almost say I have with my own eyes seen Amadis of Gaul, who was a man of lofty stature102, fair complexion103, with a handsome though black beard, of a countenance104 between gentle and stern in expression, sparing of words, slow to anger, and quick to put it away from him; and as I have depicted105 Amadis, so I could, I think, portray106 and describe all the knights-errant that are in all the histories in the world; for by the perception I have that they were what their histories describe, and by the deeds they did and the dispositions107 they displayed, it is possible, with the aid of sound philosophy, to deduce their features, complexion, and stature.”
“How big, in your worship’s opinion, may the giant Morgante have been, Senor Don Quixote?” asked the barber.
“With regard to giants,” replied Don Quixote, “opinions differ as to whether there ever were any or not in the world; but the Holy Scripture108, which cannot err4 by a jot109 from the truth, shows us that there were, when it gives us the history of that big Philistine110, Goliath, who was seven cubits and a half in height, which is a huge size. Likewise, in the island of Sicily, there have been found leg-bones and arm-bones so large that their size makes it plain that their owners were giants, and as tall as great towers; geometry puts this fact beyond a doubt. But, for all that, I cannot speak with certainty as to the size of Morgante, though I suspect he cannot have been very tall; and I am inclined to be of this opinion because I find in the history in which his deeds are particularly mentioned, that he frequently slept under a roof and as he found houses to contain him, it is clear that his bulk could not have been anything excessive.”
“That is true,” said the curate, and yielding to the enjoyment111 of hearing such nonsense, he asked him what was his notion of the features of Reinaldos of Montalban, and Don Roland and the rest of the Twelve Peers of France, for they were all knights-errant.
“As for Reinaldos,” replied Don Quixote, “I venture to say that he was broad-faced, of ruddy complexion, with roguish and somewhat prominent eyes, excessively punctilious112 and touchy113, and given to the society of thieves and scapegraces. With regard to Roland, or Rotolando, or Orlando (for the histories call him by all these names), I am of opinion, and hold, that he was of middle height, broad-shouldered, rather bow-legged, swarthy-complexioned, red-bearded, with a hairy body and a severe expression of countenance, a man of few words, but very polite and well-bred.”
“If Roland was not a more graceful114 person than your worship has described,” said the curate, “it is no wonder that the fair Lady Angelica rejected him and left him for the gaiety, liveliness, and grace of that budding-bearded little Moor115 to whom she surrendered herself; and she showed her sense in falling in love with the gentle softness of Medoro rather than the roughness of Roland.”
“That Angelica, senor curate,” returned Don Quixote, “was a giddy damsel, flighty and somewhat wanton, and she left the world as full of her vagaries116 as of the fame of her beauty. She treated with scorn a thousand gentlemen, men of valour and wisdom, and took up with a smooth-faced sprig of a page, without fortune or fame, except such reputation for gratitude117 as the affection he bore his friend got for him. The great poet who sang her beauty, the famous Ariosto, not caring to sing her adventures after her contemptible118 surrender (which probably were not over and above creditable), dropped her where he says:
How she received the sceptre of Cathay, Some bard119 of defter120 quill121 may sing some day;
and this was no doubt a kind of prophecy, for poets are also called vates, that is to say diviners; and its truth was made plain; for since then a famous Andalusian poet has lamented122 and sung her tears, and another famous and rare poet, a Castilian, has sung her beauty.”
“Tell me, Senor Don Quixote,” said the barber here, “among all those who praised her, has there been no poet to write a satire123 on this Lady Angelica?”
“I can well believe,” replied Don Quixote, “that if Sacripante or Roland had been poets they would have given the damsel a trimming; for it is naturally the way with poets who have been scorned and rejected by their ladies, whether fictitious124 or not, in short by those whom they select as the ladies of their thoughts, to avenge125 themselves in satires126 and libels — a vengeance127, to be sure, unworthy of generous hearts; but up to the present I have not heard of any defamatory verse against the Lady Angelica, who turned the world upside down.”
“Strange,” said the curate; but at this moment they heard the housekeeper and the niece, who had previously128 withdrawn129 from the conversation, exclaiming aloud in the courtyard, and at the noise they all ran out.
锡德·哈迈德·贝嫩赫利在这个故事的第二部分讲到唐吉诃德的第三次出征时，谈到神甫和理发师几乎一个月都没去看望唐吉诃德，以免勾起他对往事的回忆。可他们却去拜访了唐吉诃德的外甥女和女管家，嘱咐她们好好照顾唐吉诃德，给他做些可口而又能补心补脑子的食物，因为据认真分析，唐吉诃德倒霉就倒霉在心和脑子上。外甥女和女管家说她们已经这样做了，而且将会尽可能认真仔细地这样做，看样子现在唐吉诃德已经逐步恢复正常了。神甫和理发师对此感到很高兴，觉得他们就像这个伟大而又真实的故事第一部最后一章里讲到的那样，施计用牛车把唐吉诃德送回来算是做对了。于是，他们又决定去拜访唐吉诃德，看看他到底恢复到什么程度了，尽管他们知道现在他还不可能完全恢复。神甫和理发师还商定绝不涉及游侠骑士的事，避免在他刚结好的伤口上又添新疤。
他们去看望了唐吉诃德。唐吉诃德正坐在床上，身上穿着一件绿呢紧身背心，头戴红色托莱多式帽子，干瘦得简直像个僵尸。唐吉诃德很热情地招待神甫和理发师。神甫和理发师问他的病情，唐吉诃德介绍了自己的状况，讲得头头是道。谈话又涉及到了治国治民，他们抨击时弊，褒善贬恶，俨如三个新时代的立法者，像现代的利库尔戈斯①或者具有新思想的梭伦②。他们觉得要使国家有个新面貌，就得对它进行改造，建成一个新型社会。唐吉诃德讲得条条在理，神甫和理发师都觉得他的身体和神志已完全恢复正常。
①利库尔戈斯是传说中古代斯巴达的立法者。
②梭伦是雅典政治家和诗人，曾为本国同胞制定了宪法和法典，其宪法和司法改革被称为梭伦法律。
他们说话的时候，唐吉诃德的外甥女和女管家也在场。她们见唐吉诃德神志恢复得这么好，都不停地感谢上帝。这时，神甫改变了原来不谈游侠骑士的主意，想仔细观察一下唐吉诃德是否真的恢复正常了，就一一列数了一些来自京城的消息，其中之一就是有确切的消息说，土耳其人的强大舰队已经逼近，其意图尚不清楚，也不知道如此强大的力量究竟目标是哪里。这种大军逼近的消息几乎年年有，所有基督教徒都对此感到紧张。国王陛下已经向那不勒斯和西西里沿岸以及马耳他岛等地区布署了兵力。唐吉诃德闻言说道：
“陛下决策英明，为他的国土赢得了时间，做好了迎战的准备。不过，如果陛下愿意听听我的建议，我就会向陛下提出一种他现在无论如何也不会想到的防御办法。”
神甫听到此话心中暗自说道：
“天啊，可怜的唐吉诃德，你真是疯狂至极，愚蠢透顶。”
理发师本来也同神甫一样，想看看唐吉诃德是否完全恢复健康了，就问唐吉诃德，他说的那个防御之策是什么，也许类似于有些人向国王提出的那类不着边际的建议呢。
“理发师大人，”唐吉诃德说，“我的建议决不会不着边际，肯定切实可行。”
“我不是这个意思。”理发师说，“但事实证明，以前向国王陛下提的各种建议常常不可能实现，或者纯粹是胡说八道，要不就是损害了国王或王国的利益。”
“我的建议既不是不可能实现的，也不是胡说八道，”唐吉诃德说，“而是最简易可行的，是任何人也想不到的巧妙办法。”
“可您始终没说您那建议到底是什么内容呢，唐吉诃德大人。”神甫说。
“我可不想今天在这儿说了之后，明天就传到陛下的谋士耳朵里去，”唐吉诃德说，“然后让别人拿着我的主意去请功。”
“我在这里向上帝发誓，”理发师说，“保证不把您对陛下的建议向任何人透露。我这是从一首神甫歌谣里学到的誓言。那个神甫在做弥撒的开场白里向国王告发了一个强盗，此人偷了他一百个罗乌拉和一匹善跑的骡子。”
“我不知道这类故事，”唐吉诃德说，“但这誓言还是不错的，而且我知道理发师大人是个好人。”
“即使他不是好人，”神甫说，“我也可以为他担保，保证他会绝口不提此事。如果他说出去了，我甘愿掏钱替他受罚。”
“那么，神甫大人，谁又能为您担保呢？”唐吉诃德问。
“我的职业，”神甫说，“我的职业规定我必须保密。”
“确实。”唐吉诃德这时才说，“国王陛下应当下旨，宣召西班牙境内的所有游侠骑士在指定的日期到王宫报到。即使只能来几个人，说不定其中就有人能只身打掉土耳其人的威风呢。难道还有什么比这更好的办法吗？你们注意听我说，一个游侠骑士就可以打败一支二十万人的军队，就好像那些人只有一个脖子，好像他们都是些弱不禁风的人，这种事情难道还算新鲜吗？否则，你们说，为什么会有那么多充满了这类奇迹的故事？我生不逢时，不用说别人，就说著名的唐贝利亚尼斯或者高卢的阿马迪斯家族的人吧，如果他们当中某个人还健在，同土耳其人交锋，土耳其人肯定占不着便宜！不过，上帝肯定会关照他的臣民，肯定会派一个即使不像以前的游侠骑士那样骁勇，至少也不会次于他们的人来。上帝会明白我的意思，我不必多说了。”
“哎呀，”唐吉诃德的外甥女这时说，“如果我舅舅不是又想去当游侠骑士了，我就去死！”
唐吉诃德说：
“不管土耳其人从天上来还是从地下来，不管他们有多强大，我都可以消灭他们。我再说一遍，上帝会明白我的意思。”
理发师这时说道：
“我请诸位允许我讲一件发生在塞维利亚的小事情，因为这件事与这里的情况极为相似，我很想讲一讲。”
唐吉诃德请他讲，神甫和其他人也都注意地听，于是理发师开始讲起来：
“从前在塞维利亚有座疯人院。一个人神志失常，被亲属送进了这座疯人院。这个人是在奥苏纳毕业的，专攻教会法规。不过，即使他是在萨拉曼卡毕业的，很多人也仍然认为他神志不正常。这位学士在疯人院被关了几年以后，自认为已经完全恢复正常了，就写信给大主教，言真意切地再三请求大主教把他从那个苦海里解救出来，因为仁慈的上帝已经恢复了他的神志；可是他的亲属们为了继续霸占他那份财产，不顾事实一直不去接他，想让他在疯人院里一直待到死。大主教被那些言真意切的信说动了心，派一个教士去向疯人院院长了解写信人的情况，并且让教士亲自同疯子谈一谈。如果教士觉得这个人的神志已经恢复正常，就可以把他放出来，让他恢复自由。教士按照大主教的吩咐去了疯人院。可是院长对教士说，那个人的神志还没恢复正常，虽然他有时说起话来显得非常有头脑，但是他又常常做出一些非常愚蠢的事情来，教士如果不信可以同他谈谈看。
“教士也愿意试试。教士到了疯子那儿，同他谈了一个多小时。在这段时间里，疯子没有说过一句不像样的话，相反却讲得头头是道。教士不得不相信他已经恢复正常了。疯子同教士谈了很多事情，其中谈到院长接受了他的亲属的贿赂，对他怀有歹意，因而说他神志仍然不正常，只是有时候清醒。他说他最大的不幸就在于他有很多财产，他的冤家们为了霸占他的财产想陷害他，因而怀疑仁慈的上帝已经使他从畜生变成了人。他这么一讲，显然让人觉得院长值得怀疑，他的亲属们不怀好意，而他已经成了正常人。为了慎重起见，教士决定把他带回去，让大主教见见他，以便明断是非。于是，教士请求院长把这个学士入院时穿的衣服还给他，可院长还是让教士再考虑考虑，因为学士的神志肯定还没恢复正常。可是，院长再三劝阻也无济于事，教士坚持要把他带走。院长因为教士是大主教派来的人，只好服从了，给学士换上了入院时穿的那套衣服。那衣服又新又高级。学士见自己换上衣服以后像个正常人，不像疯子了，就请求教士开恩让他去同自己的疯友们告别。
“教士也愿意陪他一同去看看院里的疯子。于是，院里的几个人陪着他们上了楼。学士来到一个笼子前，笼子里关着一个很狂暴的疯子，但当时他挺安静。学士对那个疯子说：‘我的兄弟，你是否有什么事要托付我？上帝对我仁慈而又富有怜悯之心，尽管我受之有愧，还是让我的神志恢复了正常，我现在要回家了。依靠上帝的力量真是无所不能，我现在已经完全恢复正常了。你也要寄希望于上帝，相信上帝。上帝既然能够让我恢复到我原来的状况，也会让所有相信他的人康复如初。我会留意给你送些好吃的东西来，你无论如何要吃掉。我是过来人，我告诉你，我觉得咱们所有的疯癫都是由于咱们胃里空空、脑袋里虚无造成的。你得鼓起劲来，情绪低落会危及健康，导致死亡。’
“学士这番话被这个笼子对面那个笼子里的疯子听到了。他本来赤身裸体地躺在一张旧席子上，现在站起来大声问是谁的神志恢复正常了。学士回答说：‘是我，兄弟，我要走了。我要感谢功德无量的老天对我如此关照，我已经没有必要继续留在这里了。’‘你别胡说了，学士，别上了魔鬼的当。’那个疯子说，‘你趁早留步，待在这个疯人院里吧，免得再回来。’‘我知道我已经好了，’学士说，‘所以没有理由再重蹈覆辙。’‘你好了？’疯子说，‘那好，咱们就瞧着吧。见你的鬼，我向朱庇特①发誓，我是他在人间的化身，塞维利亚今天放你出院，把你当作正常人，我要为它犯的这个罪孽惩罚它，让它世世代代都忘不了，阿门。愚蠢的学士，你难道不知道我手里掌管着能够摧毁一切的火焰，我说过我是掌管雷霆的朱庇特，要摧毁这个世界就能说到做到吗？不过，我只想用一种办法来惩罚这里的无知民众，那就是从我发出这个誓言起整整三年内，让这个地区和周围地带不下雨！你自由了，康复了，而我还是疯子还有病？我不知道该怎么说才好。想让我下雨，除非掐死我！’
①朱庇特是罗马神话中最高的神，相当于希腊神话中的宙斯，掌管雷电云雨，是诸神和人类的主宰。
“在场的人都静静地听那个疯子乱喊乱叫，可我们这位学士却转过身来，握住教士的手说道：‘您不用着急，我的大人，您别理会他的这些疯话。如果他是朱庇特，不愿意下雨，那么我就是涅普图努斯，是水的父亲和主宰。只要有必要，我想什么时候下雨就下雨。’教士说道：‘尽管如此，涅普图努斯大人，您最好还是不要惹朱庇特大人生气。您先留在疯人院里，等改天更方便的时候，我们再来接您吧。’院长和在场的人都笑了，教士满面愧容地跑了。于是，大家又把学士的衣服剥光了。学士仍然留在疯人院里，故事也就完了。”
“难道这就是您说的那个与现在这里的情况极为相似而您又非常愿意讲的故事吗，理发师大人？”唐吉诃德说，“哎呀，剃头的呀剃头的，您这不是睁着眼睛说瞎话嘛。难道您真的不知道，将天才与天才相比，将勇气与勇气相比，将美貌与美貌相比，将门第与门第相比，都是可恨的，是最令人讨厌的吗？理发师大人，我不是水神涅普图努斯，我并不足智多谋，也不想让别人把我看成足智多谋的人。我只是竭力想让大家明白，不恢复游侠骑士四处游弋的时代是个错误。在那个时代里，游侠骑士肩负着保卫王国的使命，保护少女，帮助孤儿，除暴安良。不过，咱们这个腐败的时代不配享受这种裨益。现在的骑士呀，从他们身上听到的是锦缎的窸窣声，而不是甲胄的铿锵声。现在的骑士已经不像以前那样露宿野外，忍受严寒酷暑，从头到脚，盔甲披挂，并且脚不离马镫，手不离长矛，只求打个盹就行了。现在也不会有哪个骑士从森林里出来又跑进深山，然后再踏上荒凉的海滩。大海上骇浪惊涛，岸边只有一条小船，船上没有桨和帆，没有桅杆，没有任何索具，可是骑士勇敢无畏，跳上小船，驶向巨浪滔天的大海深处。大浪一会儿把他掀到天上，一会儿把他抛向深渊，可是他毫无畏惧地昂首面对那难以抵御的狂风暴雨。待到情况稍微好转时，他已经离开他上船的地方三千多里了。他踏上那遥远陌生的土地，于是又出现了许多不该记录在羊皮纸上，而是应该铭刻在青铜器上的事迹。
“可是现在，懒惰胜过勤勉，安逸胜过操劳，丑陋胜过美德，傲慢胜过勇气，理论代替了战斗的实践，游侠骑士的黄金时代已经成为辉煌的过去。不信，你告诉我，现在谁能比高卢的著名的阿马迪斯更正直、更勇敢呢？谁能比英格兰的帕尔梅林更聪明呢？谁能比白衣骑士蒂兰特更随遇而安呢？谁能比希腊的利苏亚特更称得上是美男子呢？谁能比贝利亚尼斯受的伤更多而且杀伤的敌人也更多呢？谁能比高卢的佩里翁更无畏，比费利克斯马尔特·德伊尔卡尼亚更临危不惧，比埃斯普兰迪安更真诚呢？谁能比西龙希利奥更勇猛呢？谁能比罗达蒙特更桀骜不驯呢？谁能比索布利诺国王更谨慎呢？谁能比雷纳尔多斯更果敢呢？谁能比罗尔丹更无敌于天下呢？谁能比鲁赫罗更彬彬有礼呢？根据杜平的《宇宙志》，现在的费拉拉公爵还是他的后裔呢。
“所有这些骑士以及其他许多我可以列数出来的骑士都是游侠骑士，是骑士界的精英。这类人，或者相当于这类人的人，就是我要向国王陛下举荐的人。陛下如果能有他们效劳，就可以节约很多开支，土耳其人也只能气得七窍生烟了。如果能这样，我宁愿留在疯人院，因为教士不愿意把我从疯人院放出来。按照理发师讲的，假如朱庇特不愿意下雨，有我在这儿，同样可以想下雨就下雨。我说这些是想让那位剃头匠大人知道，我已经明白了他的意思。”
“实际上，唐吉诃德大人，”理发师说，“我并不是这个意思。上帝保佑，我是一片好意，请您不要生气。”
“我生气没生气，我自己知道。”唐吉诃德说。
神甫说：
“虽然刚才我几乎没说话，可是我听了唐吉诃德大人的话，心里产生了一个疑虑，我不想把它憋在心里，弄得挺难受的。”
“您还有什么话，神甫大人，”唐吉诃德说，“都可以讲出来，您可以谈谈您的疑虑。心存疑虑不是件快乐的事。”
“既然您允许，”神甫说，“我就把我的疑虑讲出来。那就是我无论如何也不能让自己相信，唐吉诃德大人刚才说的那一大堆游侠骑士都是有血有肉的真人，相反，我却觉得这是一种杜撰、传说或者编造，要不然就是一些已经醒了的人，或者确切地说，是一些仍然处于半睡眠状态的人的梦呓。”
“这又是很多人犯的另一个错误，”唐吉诃德说，“那就是不相信世界上真有这样的骑士。我曾试图在各种场合多次向各类人纠正这个普遍的错误观念，有时候，我的努力没有成功，还有一些时候，我以事实为依据，就成功了。事实是确凿无疑的，可以说高卢的阿马迪斯就是我亲眼所见。他高高的个子，白白的脸庞，黑黑的胡子梳理得很整齐，目光既温和又严厉。他不多说话，不易动怒，却很容易消气。我觉得我可以像描述阿马迪斯一样勾勒描绘出世界上所有故事中的游侠骑士。我可以根据故事里的讲述，再加上他们的事迹和性情，活灵活现地想象出他们的面孔、肤色和体型。”
“那么，唐吉诃德大人，”理发师问，“您估计巨人莫尔甘特到底有多大呢？”
“至于世界上究竟有没有巨人，”唐吉诃德说，“有各种不同的说法。不过，《圣经》总不会有半点虚假吧，里面说的非利士人歌利亚就有七腕尺①半高，这就算够高的了。此外，在西西里岛还发现过巨大的四肢和脊背的遗骨，估计遗骨的主人也会高如高塔，几何学可以证明这一点。不过尽管如此，我还是不能确切地说出莫尔甘特到底有多高，我估计他不会很高。我之所以这样认为是因为我在专门记录他的事迹的故事里发现，他常常睡在室内。既然室内能够容得下他，他就不会很高大。”
①腕尺是指由臂肘到中指尖的长度。
“是这样。”神甫说。
神甫对唐吉诃德这样的胡言乱语很感兴趣，就又叫他估计雷纳尔多斯·德蒙塔尔万、罗尔丹以及法国十二廷臣的面孔会是什么样的，这些人都是游侠骑士。
“关于雷纳尔多斯，”唐吉诃德说，“我斗胆说他脸庞宽宽，呈橙黄色，眼睛非常灵活，有些凸出。他敏感易怒，结交的朋友都是小偷或类似的无赖。罗尔丹或者罗托兰多，要不就是奥兰多，这些都是故事里主人公的名字，我认为或者说认定，他们都是中等身材，宽宽的肩膀，有点罗圈腿，褐色的脸庞，红胡子，身上多毛，目光咄咄逼人，不善言辞，却很谦恭，显得很有教养。”
“如果罗尔丹不比您形容的优雅，”神甫说，“那么，美人安杰丽嘉看不上他，而被那个乳臭刚干的摩尔小子的潇洒所吸引，投入了他的怀抱，也就不算稀奇了。她爱温柔的梅多罗雨而不爱懒惰的罗尔丹，做得很明智。”
“那个安杰丽嘉，”唐吉诃德说，“神甫大人，是个见异思迁、活泼好动、有些任性的女孩，她的风流韵事也像她的美名一样到处流传。上千个大人、勇士和学者她都看不上，却爱上了一个矮个子翩翩少年，没有财产，只有一个对朋友知恩图报的名声。著名的阿里奥斯托对她的美貌大加赞扬，却不敢或不愿记述她无耻献身之后的事情，那肯定都是些不光彩的事情，而写了这样一句话：
至于她如何做了女皇，
也许别人会唱得更好。
“这无疑也是一种先知。诗人们也自称是先知、预言家，而且事实也明确地证明了这一点。后来，安达卢西亚就有位诗人为她的眼泪而悲歌，而另一位杰出的卡斯蒂利亚著名诗人也赞颂她的美貌。”
“请您告诉我，唐吉诃德大人，”理发师这时说道，“有这么多诗人赞颂安杰丽嘉夫人，难道就没有诗人讥讽她吗？”
“假如萨格里潘特或罗尔丹是诗人，”唐吉诃德说，“我想他们肯定会把她骂一通的。如果诗人在自己的想象中把某位夫人当成了自己的意中人，但却遭到她们的鄙夷和拒绝，不管是真还是假，诗人都会以讥讽或讽刺文章来报复，这也是诗人的本性。但是胸怀宽广的诗人不会这样做。不过，至今我还没听说有轰动世界的攻击安杰丽嘉的诗。”
“真是奇迹！”神甫说。
这时，忽然听见早已离开的唐吉诃德的女管家和外甥女在院子里吵吵嚷嚷，大家立刻循声赶去。
收听单词发音 |
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housekeeper
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| n.管理家务的主妇，女管家 | |
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enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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knight
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| n.骑士，武士；爵士 | |
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err
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| vi.犯错误，出差错 | |
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withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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condemning
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| v.（通常因道义上的原因而）谴责( condemn的现在分词 )；宣判；宣布…不能使用；迫使…陷于不幸的境地 | |
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remodel
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| v.改造，改型，改变 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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chivalry
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| n.骑士气概，侠义；（男人）对女人彬彬有礼，献殷勤 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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prudent
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| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
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warrior
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| n.勇士，武士，斗士 | |
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vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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precipitating
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| adj.急落的，猛冲的v.（突如其来地）使发生( precipitate的现在分词 )；促成；猛然摔下；使沉淀 | |
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19
simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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pertinent
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| adj.恰当的；贴切的；中肯的；有关的；相干的 | |
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21
expedients
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| n.应急有效的，权宜之计的( expedient的名词复数 ) | |
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22
expeditious
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| adj.迅速的，敏捷的 | |
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23
ballad
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| n.歌谣，民谣，流行爱情歌曲 | |
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24
prelude
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| n.序言，前兆，序曲 | |
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25
mule
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| n.骡子，杂种，执拗的人 | |
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26
versed
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| adj. 精通，熟练 | |
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27
bail
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| v.舀（水），保释；n.保证金，保释，保释人 | |
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dummy
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| n.假的东西；(哄婴儿的)橡皮奶头 | |
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29
knights
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| 骑士； （中古时代的）武士( knight的名词复数 )； 骑士； 爵士； （国际象棋中）马 | |
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30
scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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31
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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32
demolish
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| v.拆毁(建筑物等)，推翻(计划、制度等) | |
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33
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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34
marvels
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| n.奇迹( marvel的名词复数 )；令人惊奇的事物（或事例）；不平凡的成果；成就v.惊奇，对…感到惊奇( marvel的第三人称单数 ) | |
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35
progeny
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| n.后代，子孙；结果 | |
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36
valiant
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| adj.勇敢的，英勇的；n.勇士，勇敢的人 | |
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37
confinement
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| n.幽禁，拘留，监禁；分娩；限制，局限 | |
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38
sane
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| adj.心智健全的，神志清醒的，明智的，稳健的 | |
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39
entreating
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的现在分词 ) | |
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40
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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41
inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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42
conversed
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
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43
lucid
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| adj.明白易懂的，清晰的，头脑清楚的 | |
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44
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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45
foe
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| n.敌人，仇敌 | |
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46
disparaged
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| v.轻视( disparage的过去式和过去分词 )；贬低；批评；非难 | |
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47
brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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48
covetous
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| adj.贪婪的，贪心的 | |
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49
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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50
ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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51
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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52
dissuade
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| v.劝阻，阻止 | |
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53
divested
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| v.剥夺( divest的过去式和过去分词 )；脱去（衣服）；2。从…取去…；1。（给某人）脱衣服 | |
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54
entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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55
stark
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| adj.荒凉的；严酷的；完全的；adv.完全地 | |
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56
inflict
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| vt.(on)把…强加给，使遭受，使承担 | |
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57
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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58
fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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59
wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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60
exclamations
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| n.呼喊( exclamation的名词复数 )；感叹；感叹语；感叹词 | |
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61
Neptune
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| n.海王星 | |
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62
vex
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| vt.使烦恼，使苦恼 | |
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63
sieve
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| n.筛，滤器，漏勺 | |
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64
odious
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| adj.可憎的，讨厌的 | |
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65
astute
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| adj.机敏的，精明的 | |
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66
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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67
orphans
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| 孤儿( orphan的名词复数 ) | |
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68
minors
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| n.未成年人( minor的名词复数 )；副修科目；小公司；[逻辑学]小前提v.[主美国英语]副修，选修，兼修( minor的第三人称单数 ) | |
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69
chastisement
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| n.惩罚 | |
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70
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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71
rustle
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| v.沙沙作响；偷盗(牛、马等)；n.沙沙声声 | |
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72
armour
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| （=armor）n.盔甲；装甲部队 | |
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73
inclemency
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| n.险恶，严酷 | |
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74
panoply
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| n.全副甲胄，礼服 | |
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75
penetrates
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| v.穿过( penetrate的第三人称单数 )；刺入；了解；渗透 | |
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76
tempestuous
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| adj.狂暴的 | |
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77
oars
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| n.桨，橹( oar的名词复数 )；划手v.划（行）( oar的第三人称单数 ) | |
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78
intrepid
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| adj.无畏的，刚毅的 | |
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79
intrepidity
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| n.大胆，刚勇；大胆的行为 | |
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80
plunge
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| v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲 | |
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81
irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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82
gale
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| n.大风，强风，一阵闹声（尤指笑声等） | |
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83
embarked
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| 乘船( embark的过去式和过去分词 )； 装载； 从事 | |
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84
ashore
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| adv.在(向)岸上，上岸 | |
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85
brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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86
sloth
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| n.[动]树懒；懒惰，懒散 | |
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87
exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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88
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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89
arrogance
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| n.傲慢，自大 | |
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90
virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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91
discreet
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| adj.(言行)谨慎的；慎重的；有判断力的 | |
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92
slashed
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| v.挥砍( slash的过去式和过去分词 )；鞭打；割破；削减 | |
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93
slashing
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| adj.尖锐的；苛刻的；鲜明的；乱砍的v.挥砍( slash的现在分词 )；鞭打；割破；削减 | |
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94
invincible
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| adj.不可征服的，难以制服的 | |
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95
gallant
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| adj.英勇的，豪侠的；(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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96
courteous
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| adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的 | |
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97
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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98
vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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99
fable
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| n.寓言；童话；神话 | |
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100
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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101
divers
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| adj.不同的；种种的 | |
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102
stature
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| n.（高度）水平，（高度）境界，身高，身材 | |
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103
complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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104
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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105
depicted
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| 描绘，描画( depict的过去式和过去分词 )； 描述 | |
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106
portray
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| v.描写，描述；画(人物、景象等) | |
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107
dispositions
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| 安排( disposition的名词复数 )； 倾向； （财产、金钱的）处置； 气质 | |
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108
scripture
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| n.经文，圣书，手稿；Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》，《圣经》中的一段 | |
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109
jot
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| n.少量；vi.草草记下；vt.匆匆写下 | |
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110
philistine
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| n.庸俗的人；adj.市侩的，庸俗的 | |
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111
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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112
punctilious
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| adj.谨慎的，谨小慎微的 | |
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113
touchy
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| adj.易怒的；棘手的 | |
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114
graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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115
moor
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| n.荒野，沼泽；vt.(使)停泊；vi.停泊 | |
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116
vagaries
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| n.奇想( vagary的名词复数 )；异想天开；异常行为；难以预测的情况 | |
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117
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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118
contemptible
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| adj.可鄙的，可轻视的，卑劣的 | |
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119
bard
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| n.吟游诗人 | |
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120
defter
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| adj.熟练的，灵巧的( deft的比较级 ) | |
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121
quill
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| n.羽毛管；v.给（织物或衣服）作皱褶 | |
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122
lamented
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| adj.被哀悼的，令人遗憾的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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123
satire
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| n.讽刺，讽刺文学，讽刺作品 | |
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124
fictitious
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| adj.虚构的，假设的；空头的 | |
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125
avenge
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| v.为...复仇，为...报仇 | |
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126
satires
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| 讽刺，讥讽( satire的名词复数 )； 讽刺作品 | |
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127
vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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128
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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129
withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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